Disclaimer: This story is written for fun-purpose only. I don't own Digimon or the characters I use in this story; and no money is made with this fanfic.

Genre: Tragedy/Drama

Rating: PG-13

Criticism: Always welcome, as long as it's constructive.

Summary: "In order to keep sane, I need to continue pretending. Because otherwise, my whole world would fall apart…" (Daisuke-centric)

Starting with this chapter, there'll be some more information about Jun's illness and treatment. However, I'm no doctor. I did some research, but I'm not a very reliable person when it comes to that and it can be that I changed things (although unconsciously) or am simply wrong in some areas. If that's the case, then I apologize for it and I'd be happy if you could point out my mistake.

Not much happening in this chapter, just a bit more insight to the character's feelings, a bit of history and their feelings. More plot in the next chapter, I promise.

However, I am travelling up to Cairns in a few weeks, so I don't know when the next chapter will be written/posted. Hopefully soon, but as always, I can't promise anything.

Little Dragon

By Kaeera

Chapter Three: The mask falls into place

I remember it so clearly, the day when my whole life was torn apart. My parents picked me up from soccer practise, something they rarely do – I usually take the train. We drove to the hospital and they were so silent, so grim. Even I knew that something was wrong back then, and I clutched Veemon to my chest as if seeking comfort.

Jun was there, sitting on the bed and crying, and I can't explain how shocked I was when I saw her. I saw her crying because of fury, crying because she wanted to get something from Mom and Dad, but I never saw her crying like this, so utterly in despair that it broke my heart at that very moment.

The doctor looked serious, urged us to sit down and then he began to tell us what they had found out.

Jun was sick. And not the "I-have-a-cold' kind of sick, no, it was a serious sickness. They called it cancer.

What kind of cancer?

I'm not sure. I can't remember medical terms. The only thing I know is that Jun's body is suddenly doing weird things. Her cells aren't growing as they are supposed to do; and as an effect of that, her immune system doesn't work properly. It makes her weak. The thing that scared me most was that they had discovered a tumour in her brain.

Now you hear all these facts about tumours and cancer on TV, and of course I was scared, but the doctor said that with the correct treatment, Jun should be healed. Chemotherapy would be necessary, of course, and although Jun wailed at first at the prospect of loosing her hair, she understood the reasons.

But now I'm not so sure anymore .I've learned a great many things since Jun was brought to hospital, and since the adults will never tell me the truth, I was forced to find things out on my own. The chemotherapy isn't working as well as the hoped it would. Drepanocythemia was one important word they used. What it is? No clue. Something to do with her blood. It interferes with her healing and makes her weaker than she's supposed to be. In a critical state, this could very well mean death.

Daisuke's Notes

Weekend. How he had waited for it to come! No school meant more time to visit Jun, to study, and maybe even to relax a bit. Daisuke wasn't stupid – he knew that he was wearing himself out and that it wasn't good for his health, but then again, he was young and strong, he could deal with it. It was, after all, for a good sake.

Weekends were always good, no matter what. And so it was that he found himself walking towards the hospital in higher spirits than usual on that particular Saturday morning. He had been able to catch a few hours of sleep, he had even had breakfast, and he felt better than he had in days.

Veemon was walking by his side, chatting cheerfully about this and that, for once glad that Daisuke wasn't in his usual brooding mood.

His parents were already in the hospital and they had promised that – given the weather was nice and Jun felt up to it – they would go out for lunch. This was a prospect to look forward to, not so much for the food but for the fact that he would be able to see his sister outside the hospital in a normal environment.

"…and you know, I bet if I digivolved into a digimon with healing powers, then I could help Jun and all would be better…" Veemon rambled on.

Daisuke chuckled. "I don't believe that would work. Humans are not made of data and something that heals digimon might be useless on us."

The blue digimon sighed. "I know – still, it would be nice, wouldn't it? Everything would be back to normal again in blink of a moment."

"Yes. But it's not your fault, Vee-chan, and you know it. So let's not talk about things that wouldn't work anyway – we have to deal with the facts and make the best out of it."

Veemon stopped and stared. "You know what, Davis? That sounded almost grown-up!"

"Did it?" The boy reflected what he had said. "I guess you are right. But then again, a lot of serious things happened in a short amount of time, and serious things tend to make you grow up, if only a little bit." A shadow darkened his handsome face. "I could have lived without it, to be quite frank."

"Me, too. It would be nice to stay like that forever!"

"True." Daisuke smiled softly, thinking how much he would have liked that to happen. Living in a perfect little world with only small fights and minor problems such as homework and inventing a new way to impress Hikari. "At least we're still together."

Veemon nodded importantly. "Of course. It would be horrible if we were seperated. I think I should die of sadness if that ever happened, because you are the bestest partner ever!"

"Am I? Well, thanks for the praise. I could wish for no better digimon than you."

The little creature was satisfied. "We're just the perfect match then."

"Indeed, we are."

And so, chatting away the dark thoughts, the duo reached the hospital

Daisuke's parents were already in the room, sitting in uncomfortable silence. Judging by Jun's expression when he entered the room, this silence must have been going on for quite a while now. Ever since her illness had been found out, their parents were subdued, unable to start a normal conversation.

"Brother!" she exclaimed. "I thought you'd never manage to drag yourself out of bed!"

He rolled his eyes. "Well, there was nothing to look forward to, just visiting you." A grin accompanied his answer, showing that he only spoke in jest.

Jun laughed. "What else would there be for you to look forward to? A hot date? Naah, I don't think so."

"At least I've got more chances for a date than you."

"With your face? No, I don't think so, really."

Their parents followed their exchange with equal looks of surprise on their faces. They found it quite hard to behave normally in front of Jun, and Daisuke hated them for that. Jun needed normal more than anything else. Being treated as if she could die every second, that wouldn't help her, as Daisuke had decided a long time ago. He had to show her why she needed to be strong, and that he thought she would survive this.

Of course, this had led his parents to believe that he hadn't grasped the seriousness of the situation. They looked at him as if he didn't feel the pain they felt. Well, their problem. They'd never understood him anyway.

Daisuke was determined to make his sister feel better, no matter what.

"Stop the bickering", their mother interrupted. "Davis, you're a bit late. The doctor approved, we can take Jun out for lunch and we thought about going to that little café around the corner. What do you think?"

"Sounds great to me!" He grinned. "So you're getting better, squirt?"

"Don't call me squirt," Jun pouted, "I'm the older sister."

"Yeah, but I'm taller than you."

"You're not."

"Sure am."

"Naw. I don't believe you."

"You can believe what you want, but I am taller."

"Your ego, maybe."

"My ego and my body heigth, thank you very much."

Veemon shook his head, regarding the siblings with a mixture of relief and amusement on his face. "Well, at least some things will never change."

I learned that my sister has got a different type of blood – her cells can't carry as much oxygen as they are supposed to, leaving her tired and weary. It was never a problem – before the tumour. Now, when her defences are already weakened, it could be dangerous.

Jeez, I learned more about medicine and biology in the last month than I did in the years before. I don't know…I wanted to understand what was happening to my sister, why she was being given all those drugs, why her hair became thinner, why she was taken from one examination to the next…

I remember so clearly the scene in the doctor's office. Jun, sitting on the bed. My mother, sobbing. My father, looking grave and serious. And the doctor, telling us that my sister – my cheerful, annoying older sister – had cancer, serious cancer.

I remember looking at her and she tried to smile, tried to be strong for me, but I could see the tears glistening in her eyes. At that moment, I made a decision. I vowed to myself that I would give everything to make life for Jun as normal and good as possible, no matter what it would cost me.

No matter what.

Daisuke's Notes

The café was a nice and quiet place at the corner of the street. Many visitors used it as a means to escape the hospital canteen, and the patrons were used to catering people with casts and other kinds of visible injuries.

Daisuke and his family were sitting in a corner away from the rest of the clients. Since her hair had started to fall out, Jun was quite self-conscious about her appearance and didn't want to be seen by many people.

Daisuke could fully understand that. Sometimes it was even shocking for him to see his sister with only a few strands of hair left – while she used to have a big mop of spiky hair, similar to his.

The waitress served them a nice salad and some sandwiches. For the first time in days, Daisuke actually felt hungry. It was a pleasant feeling, and he immediately dug in when the food arrived. It was nice not to pretend to be hungry, but to be able to eat without thinking about acting.

Veemon was sitting on a fifth chair, happily munching his sandwiches and the bowl of chips the waitress had kindly given him. The little digimon was a natural charmer when it came to females, and he always got what he wanted.

"That's so much better than the hospital food." Jun exclaimed happily, even though she was allowed to eat only a small sandwich. "Yuck, you should see some of the stuff they bring me sometimes! Disgusting."

"I didn't think it was that bad," Daisuke said between two bites.

"Yeah, but you eat everything anyway." was Jun's stoic reply.

"I do not!"

"Yes you do! Remember the time when the cake burned in the oven? You still ate it, even though it was black!"

The boy hesitated, "It tasted alright."

She rolled her eyes. "It tasted like coal, Davis."

Daisuke exchanged a glance with Veemon. "I liked it." The digimon said cheerfully.

"You see? Veemon liked it as well. You're just too spoiled!"

The girl raised an eyebrow. "You're talking of the digimon that once ate my body lotion, insisting that it tasted like cream?"

Daisuke chose not to answer that, and Jun snickered smugly, knowing that she had won that particular argument.

Their parents had followed the whole exchange with amused expressions. The atmosphere of the café seemed to set their minds at ease, and for the first time in weeks, it felt as if they were a family again.

Daisuke turned hopeful eyes at his mother. "Can we get dessert?"

The woman laughed. "Are you still hungry, after that enormous sandwich you ate?"

"Yes." A slow grin spread over the boy's face. "My stomach is a never-ending pit of…nothingness!"

"Very clever, little brother." It was time for Jun to roll her eyes again. She was actually enjoying this, the bickering, the food and just the possibility to be out of the hospital.

"I guess a small dessert is alright." Her father said with a slight chuckle. "Jun, do you want anything? Ice-cream?"

The girl thought for a moment. "A piece of cake would me nice."

Mr. Motomiya nodded. "And you, Davis?"

"Chocolate ice-cream!" He grinned cheerfully, and, with a glance at Veemon, added: "Double Size!"

"Why did I even ask…"

When they started Jun's treatment, everybody was optimistic. After all, we live in a modern age, right? It's possible to heal cancer, right? And besides, Jun only had to come to the hospital in intervals. Another word I learned. Chemotherapy is applied in intervals, because the body needs the time to degenerate. I never knew that Chemotherapy doesn't only destroy cancer cells, but normal cells as well. Imagine that! No wonder that the body needs the time to rest.

And so, Jun spent most of the time at home and only a few days in hospital. But then the time she stayed at home lessened. Then the moments came when she couldn't get out of bed in the morning because she was so tired. Or when she would cry because she found another strand of hair that was falling out.

My parents never told me what was wrong. I had to find it out myself. I had to sneak into their room, read the papers, I had to 'accidentally overhear' their conversations with the doctor. They wanted to protect me and they thought I wouldn't understand.

But I did. I'm not stupid. I knew that this was getting serious. And even though I'm a teenager, I know what 'death' means.

Jun knew it as well. When we looked at each other, we both saw the pain in our eyes.

I often wonder what it must be like for her. Imagine that, living every day with the possibility that you could die, here, now…or the belief that you are going to die…people around you are dying all the time, or they are horribly sick, wired to all kinds of machines, barely resembling humans anymore…

If I imagine I had to go away and leave everything behind…just the thought of it makes me shudder. Close my eyes, only to never wake up again…only darkness. All the small things…things you think of as normal, you know, like eating chocolate ice-cream or brushing your teeth,…all those things will be gone. And what comes after that? Will everything end? Just like that? Snap, out like a light, no Daisuke anymore?

I don't want to die. Not yet. Not now. There are so many things to be seen, to be done.

And here is Jun, and she's facing the problem, and she doesn't want to die either, but what can she do? She is fighting, and she's strong, my sister, she's so very strong, but there's only oh so much she can do…

But that won't happen to Jun. I won't let that happen! I'm the leader of the digidestined, I've fought so many battles, it should be an easy task to save my sister.

So why do I feel like crying?

Daisuke's Notes

"That was a nice lunch." Daisuke yawned and stretched his arms. Actually, he didn't feel so good, but he wouldn't tell his parents that. The last hour had been a pleasant one and he didn't want to destroy the memory by mentioning that he felt sick.

"May I be excused? I need to go to the toilet." He asked, adapting the most polite tone he could manage.

Jun sent him a suspicious look. "What are you up to now?"

He beamed at her. "Just exploring the depths of my charming personality."

"What personality?"

"Sh. Not now." Their mother interjected. "Yes, you may go, Davis, but hurry, Jun has to be back at the hospital at two o'clock."

"Aye, aye, madam!" He saluted and made his way to the toilets. They were behind the counter and as soon as he had entered the little room, the smile slid from his face.

"Oh man," he groaned. "I don't feel so good…" He staggered in one of the little boxes. His stomach was revolting and he knew that he shouldn't have eaten that much, not after not eating for several days. "Stupid, Davis, stupid…" was all he managed to say, before he vomited his lunch into the toilet.

Sweat appeared on his forehead, and for once he was glad that Veemon had stayed behind. That was something nobody needed to know.

The boy gagged until nothing was left in his stomach, then leaned his head against the cool wall. "I'm so screwed," he whispered and nearly cried. "I'm so screwed…"

Oh, how much he wanted to lie down right now, to close his eyes and go to asleep. At least in his dreams he could be happy. But there was no chance he could do that, staying in the toilet too long would be suspicious and he couldn't leave Jun alone, she needed him…

Feeling the coolness against his damp skin was a relief. "I can't be sick…I've got exams, I can't be sick, I have to be good at the exams, I promised Jun…"

Tears trickled down his cheeks, but he didn't even notice them. "Be strong…be strong…be strong…" He muttered it like a mantra, repeated the words until they finally sank in, until he was able to suppress the sobs and stop the tears from falling.

Daisuke stood up, staggered, swayed and nearly fell. Days of exhaustion began to take their toll, and only by sheer willpower the boy was able to walk to the sinks, splashing his face with cold water.

"Shit." He groaned, as he saw his pale complexion in the mirror. "Shit!"

However, the cold water helped to get the foul taste out of his mouth, and after a few more seconds, he was able to stand upright again. He dried his face with a towel and then turned to face the door.

"Okay…here we go…can't let them see…" Daisuke took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He forced a grin on his lips, imagined himself cheerful and smiling. It was getting harder with each time, but he was determined to pull through.

When he finally left the bathroom two minutes later, it seemed as if nothing had happened at all. The typical Daisuke-grin was plastered all over his face and he exchanged a few jokes with Jun, before they made their way back to the hospital. Not even Veemon noticed a difference.

The mask was in place again and the game could continue.

Sometimes I'm not sure I can do this. Why does it have to hurt so much? Why…why can't it just stop?

I..I don't know...I'm...lost…I focus on something, but then, I space out for seconds, minutes, half an hour…I scare myself sometimes, I can't get my feelings under control anymore, I…lost control…

I can't allow that! I can't…let the others know…can't…I have to...have to write the exams…pass the exams…help Jun…

I don't know what's happening to me. It scares me. I'm afraid. What's wrong?

What am I doing? Sometimes I don't know anymore…should I tell someone else? Is Veemon right? Am I wrong?

But..I…can't…I have no idea, it's like…like I operate on willpower only…or emotions? Fragments, pieces of memory, and I am so confused, feel alone, like crying, like screaming, like…

…need yo be strong…

I lost my focus.

How long before I lose everything else?

Daisuke's Notes

To be continued…

Thanks for the reviews, guys, they are much appreciated! And if you have any questions, feel free to ask!

Samanda Hime-Sama – O.o Wow, thanks for the nice compliment. I guess over the years of writing I kind of invented my 'own' Daisuke…it's just that I cannot believe that there's somebody with no 'dark corner' in the soul, as you nicely put it, especially since I'm very much like Daisuke myself.

Dragen545 – You guessed correctly! Ah, well, I never have complicated plots or sudden turns of events, I just can't keep up with that.

Fading Twilight – That's good! I mean, that you're looking forward to the next chapter. The only unfortunate thing is that I'm such a slow writer…sorry!

scrtshdfgry – I know your problem. There aren't a lot of writer that write about Jun and Daisuke in an un-bashing way….sighs It's a pity, really.

Dark Qiviut – Your review was just…flattering. I re-read it about three times because I couldn't believe that you were talking about one of my fics…I don't think that I'm the best angst/drama writer, since my plots are too simple…basically, all my stories have kind of the same plot, just with different aspects to it…O.o

Anyway, thanks for the praise nonetheless, it really made my day and I walked away from the computer with a grin on my face!

Thanks for putting my stories in your C2 archive, by the way!