Disclaimer: This story is written for fun-purpose only. I don't own Digimon or the characters I use in this story; and no money is made with this fanfic.
Genre: Tragedy/Drama
Rating: PG-13
Criticism: Always welcome, as long as it's constructive.
Summary: "In order to keep sane, I need to continue pretending. Because otherwise, my whole world would fall apart…" (Daisuke-centric)
Notes: Not much to say. The last chapters were leading up to this…more or less. I don't like the dream. It sounds stupid – I simply couldn't get the writing right. :growls:
Little Dragon
by Kaeera
Chapter Five: Shutdown
I can't give up.
I can't give up.
I can't give up.
I can never give up. People are relying on me. Jun is relying on me. I cannot let them down. They need me. I can't afford to be weak. I need to be strong. I need to protect my friends. I need to protect Jun. I can't feel any pain. I'm not allowed to feel pain. Can't show it.
But it's tearing me apart. It hurts. It's painful.
Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what I'm feeling. I'm worthless. Who cares if I go down? Nobody. It doesn't matter. Daisuke Motomiya is a nobody. My feelings are irrelevant.
But I can help. I can help others in their troubles, and thus, I can be someone. I can be a friend.
That's why I cannot show weakness.
Jun is the one with the problems. She is hurting, and more so than me, because after all, it's her who's sick. I should be supporting her, all the time, but sometimes it's hard. Sometimes I don't want to visit her. I don't want to see her haggard face, her bald head, I don't want to be reminded of the fact that my sister is seriously ill. I want to flee, want to escape the hospital, want to go outside and play, feel the fresh air, eat chocolate ice-cream, do anything but seeing my sister…
And then I feel guilty. It proves me how weak I am. How can I be thinking of my own pleasure while Jun is fighting for her life? How ignorant, arrogant, egoistic! How cruel!
That's why I can't show my feelings. I cannot let other people know how weak I am. It is important.
But it hurts so much…
-Daisuke's Notes
Later, Daisuke would never know how he survived the following couple of days. Instant coffee played a big part in it – he was basically inhaling the stuff. Real coffee tasted yucky, but those instant can drinks, with the added sugar…he quite liked them. And there was enough caffeine in them to wake an elephant. Two elephants.
Between writing exams and trying to continue living without collapising, hours and days blurred together. Getting out of bed, gulping down the first coffee in the morning, racing to school, exam, and then home again, studying, trying to sleep…
In total, there were four days of exams, but there could have been twenty – time just dragged and dragged until he couldn't stand it anymore. Daisuke barely talked with the others, totally lost in his own little world.
He felt a bit like sleep-walking, and was surprised to find that he actually did quite well in most of his exams. Well, at least he felt that he did quite well. There hadn't been any questions where he had just written nothing, which was a big improvement in his opinion.
"Time's over." The teacher announced, and Daisuke blinked.
He looked at his sheet and carefully placed his pen on the table. Finished. The last exam – English – was completed. He had done it. He had survived. It was over. And he really had given his best.
He should have been happy. He should have shouted in joy.
But Daisuke couldn't gather the energy. And so he simply sat there, staring at his hands, while his classmates jumped up from their chairs, started cheering and singing or dancing through the classroom. It was the utmost chaos, and everybody who had a spare glance for Daisuke wondered why he didn't join in. Usually, the brown-haired boy would have been in the front row, joining in the fun and laughter.
But not today. Eyes dull and heavy, he finally dragged himself up from the table and slung the backpack over his shoulder.
Something is wrong with me, he realized suddenly. Why am I not happy? Why don't I celebrate?
He desperately tried to find a bit of happiness in himself, but he encountered only emptiness.
I feel so tired.
And it was true. The exhaustion crept up on him, and even the simple task of walking down the stairs seemed impossible. While the other kids raced out of the room, a mass of excited and shouting students, he trailed behind, concentrating on placing one foot behind the other.
All he wanted to do was go home, lie down and go to sleep. He'd promised Jun to drop by, but that could wait until later in the evening, so there was still time to catch a couple of hours sleep.
Sleep…the word sounded so sweet to his ears. No books to read, nothing to study, and he didn't even have to feel guilty about it, as he had done over the last couple of days. He could simply sleep! Ah, what bliss!
Daisuke rubbed his aching temples. Now the only thing was the caffeine in his blood. In the haste his morning, he had drained three of those coffee drinks, and whilst they had done their job – kept him awake during the exam – the slowly evolving headache now told him that consuming too much caffeine wasn't too good, either.
Caffeine and lack of sleep. Hmm. I remember our biology teacher saying something about that, but I can't remember what…
He shook his head. It was getting harder to focus, and so he dismissed the thought as he slowly walked down the hallway. There were noises all around him, people hugging and shouting, dancing and laughing, but it went past him in a blur.
Daisuke didn't even notice that his dazed walk earned him quite a few surprised stares. To see Daisuke Motomiya without his friends was unusual. To see Daisuke Motomiya moving slowly, especially after school was over, was unheard of. To see Daisuke Motomiya with an almost depressed expression on his face was just not possible.
People kept whispering, wondering what was wrong with the begoggled boy. There were quite a few jokes going around, but Daisuke didn't care. What did they know? What did they know about the real Daisuke, about his sister, about his worries?
Nothing, he thought in contempt, they know nothing about me, only what they see, and that's just a mask.
He shifted the backpack on his shoulders. But it's not just them. It's me who has changed. But who wouldn't? So much happened…
His thoughs trailed back to the day when he had first learned about Jun's illness. How long ago had it been? Three months?
It seemed like an eternity. Before that day, he had been blissfully happy. No real worries. Friends. A happy life. A family that was…well, alright, he guessed. There was not much of a relationship between him and his parents. But he had been used to it. It could have been worse.
Maybe this whole thing would be easier if my parents actually took me for serious. Can't they see that I am hurting, too?
"Hey Davis!" a voice shouted behind him, startling him out of his reverie. "We're done! I can't believe it! We're finished! It's all over!"
It took his brain a while to register that it was Hikari who was waving at him cheerfully. He shook his head, trying to clear his vision. Why was everything so blurry?
"That's nice." he replied and winced at how weak his voice sounded.
"Davis?" The delighted expression on Hikari's face vanished as she took a closer look at her friend. Daisuke didn't seem to be able to focus on her, instead his eyes stared were distant, almost empty. It was kind of scary. "Are you alright?"
Funny, I never knew that Hikari is so blurry. No, that's not her. It's me seeing strange things.
"I'm fine." The answer had become so automatic that he didn't even need to think about it anymore.
Hikari threw up her hands in frustration. "You're not fine! Look at you, you're barely standing upright…oh Davis, I wish you would tell me what's wrong with you, are you sick?"
He wasn't sick. He just needed sleep, didn't she see that? All he needed was sleep, and everything would be fine…he should just go, go and leave her, go home and sleep…
But when Daisuke tried to move his legs, they wouldn't obey him. Dumbly, he stared down at them. Funny. Everything seemed to tilt sideways. Huh? What was Hikari doing there? Why was she swaying like that?
"Oh no, come on, sit down, you're going to fall…" There was a note of panic in her voice, he noticed with an odd feeling of detachment.
Why should I fall? I'm standing here, am I not?
Still, he allowed himself to be led away by Hikari, too tired to protest. Then another person arrived, but he couldn't be bothered to lift his head and look at him. Vaguely, he noticed that Hikari had started talking with the stranger…no, it wasn't a stranger, it was…Takeru?
"I don't know what's wrong with him, he's, like, zoning out or something… I'm afraid that he's going to faint, we should better bring him to the school nurse…"
"Davis? Can you hear me?" Someone waved in front of his face.
I sure can hear you, TK…just don't feel like answering. Hmm. Since when does TK have black eyes? Oh no, those are sunglasses…are they? Why is he wearing sunglasses? Gee. Everything's getting kind of fuzzy here.
"No Davis, don't faint…sit down…Davis…DAVIS!"
Too late.
And finally, the darkness that had been at the edge of his vision for so long, swallowed him up until he knew no more.
little dragon,
I am writing to you
becauseI want you to remember these lines
they contain all my love
my pride
and my thoughts
about my little dragon, who's so strong
and still cries at night
hot, fiery tears, hidden in the darkness
Hikari let out a high-pitched yelp when Daisuke slumped down without warning. She and Takeru barely managed to catch the boy before he crashed to the ground.
"Davis!" she shook her unconscious friend, trying to find out what was wrong. But Daisuke wouldn't respond. His head lolled back and forth and his eyes stayed firmly closed.
Hikari exchanged an anxious glance with Takeru. "We have to carry him to the nurse!"
The blonde boy only nodded, grabbing his friend under the shoulders. "Gee," he was startled "He's so light! Did he lose weight?"
"It wouldn't surprise me, with all the stuff that seems to be going through his head." Hikari muttered darkly. "There is something wrong, and he won't tell us! It drives me mad! Why doesn't he trust us?"
"Ask me something easier." Takeru shook his head, as they slowly made their way to the infirmary. "I've never been able to see into Daisuke's head. You always think that he wears his feelings on his sleeve, but then comes a time like this, and zack, he's like Yamato all of sudden!"
The blonde felt frustrated. Weren't they friends? True, he wasn't as close to Daisuke as Ken might be, but he still considered him as one of his best mates. Yet he didn't have the slightest clue what was wrong with him!
Hikari bit her lower lip, glancing worriedly at Daisuke. Had he been this pale in the morning? And those shadows under his eyes, they seemed to be getting bigger with each passing day. Plus, Takeru was right – he had lost weight. The girl could feel the rips under his shirt, and that frightened her more than anything.
Daisuke loved eating, and nothing edible – be it chocolate, chips or the old soggy sandwich in the cafeteria nobody wanted to have – was safe from him. Somehow, Hikari couldn't imagine what kind of trouble would stop her friend from eating.
A wave of relief swept over her as she spotted the nurse's room. Maybe they would find out more about what was wrong with their friend.
"I'll talk with the nurse, and you phone the others, alright?" Takeru suggested. "They'd want to know, and it wouldn't be wrong to inform his parents, either. They can come and pick him up, or drive him…" he trailed off, leaving the sentence unfinished, but Hikari knew it anyway. Drive him to the hospial. God, she hoped it wasn't that serious.
"Okay," she agreed, and then they opened the door and carried Daisuke inside.
...lost...
Hikari looked at her cellphone, chewing her bottom lip in thought. Just now, she had called every single one of their friends she could reach, and nearly every answer had been the same – 'I'll be there in a minute'. However, she simply couldn't reach Daisuke's parents, nor his sister. It was typical, she mused, Daisuke's parents were never there for him. Well, at least that was how she observed it.
With a shrug, she put the cellphone into her pocket, walking back into the infirmary, were Takeru was talking with the nurse. Making the phone calls had taken longer than she had expected, and the woman was just finishing her examination.
"What's wrong with him?" she asked softly, trying to hide the anxiousness in her voice.
The woman – her name tag read 'Kazuko Miharu' – didn't reply at first, an unreadable expression on her face. "What has this boy been doing over the last days?" she then inquired aggrivatedly.
They both blinked. "Uhm…writing his exams?" Takeru offered.
"Writing exams doesn't explain the state he is in!" She seemed angry, but they couldn't decide if she was angry at Daisuke or at them or at the world in general.
"Uhm, Kazuko-sensei..." Hikari ventured. "What exactly is this state Daisuke is in? You see, we were worried about him, but he wouldn't tell us what was wrong…"
The nurse sighed and threw another glance at the boy on the bed. Daisuke looked awfully small and pale.
"Well, you see…" she began, "He's almost malnourished! Has he been eating correctly? Or does he have an eating disorder? And he doesn't seem to be getting enough sleep, either…utterly exhausted, he is. I'm amazed that he managed to go to school in his state, yet alone write his exams. Hmm…caffeine might have something to do with that…or maybe even…"
Kazuko Miharu looked up suddenly, her eyes ice-cold. "Is he taking drugs?"
"DRUGS?" Both Hikari and Takeru were so surprised by this question that they nearly yelled the word. Then Takeru started laughing. "Davis and drugs? No, honestly…he's the least person I'd expect to take any drugs, for sure!"
Hikari nodded fiercely. "He would never take any! Davis isn't the type for that. Why do you ask such a horrid question?"
"Because it would explain the state he is in." the nurse frowned. "It could be that it's due to malnutrition and lack of sleep, but then he must have been going on like that for weeks…impossible!"
Impossible? Was it? Hikari tilted her head, remembering how subdued Daisuke had been during the last couple of weeks. Had it been because he wasn't sleeping? And what about eating? How could he be malnourished, he had been eating with them during each lunch break…yeah, but…
"TK…" she whispered softly, her eyes still fixed on Daisuke's pale face. "He hasn't been eating."
The blonde boy shook his head. "But..no, Hikari, you must be wrong, he went with us to lunch break every day, like he always does, and he…" He didn't finish, his blue eyes widening as he realized the truth.
The girl nodded. "He went with us, but I haven't seen him eating for ages! He always said he wasn't hungry, or he had to go somewhere else, or he already had eaten, stuff like that…TK, he wasn't eating, and we didn't notice!"
It stung. I hurt her, deep in her heart, and made her feel guilty. Something had been wrong with Daisuke, and they hadn't noticed it. The not-eating part should have been an obvious sign, but she had shrugged it off, thinking it as unimportant. She had been so wrapped up in the preparations for the exams that she hadn't even bothered to investigate…
"We could have helped him." she said in a wobbly voice. "Then this would have never happened."
Takeru simply stared at her, mouth agape. Now that Hikari mentioned it, he saw that she was right. There had been something wrong with Daisuke, and he had given them enough hints, but they had been too stupid to pick them up. Or maybe even too lazy. Too egoistical.
"Oh no!" he groaned and slapped his hand on his face. Then he turned towards the nurse, who had followed their little exchange with a confused expression. "I'm afraid that he wasn't eating. We…didn't really notice." Oh, how shameful it felt to say those words!
"You didn't notice?" Kazuko Miharu raised an eyebrow, but luckily, she didn't inquire any further. "Anyway, I strongly recommend that he's going to get examined by a real doctor. Right now, he's sleeping, and that's the best he can do, but as soon as he wakes up, I will send him to the hospital for a check up."
"Thank you." Takeru said politely. "Is it alright for us to wait until he wakes up?"
"If you want to – but it could take a couple of hours, he's, as I said, utterly exhausted."
"That's fine." The blonde turned to Hikari. "I think we need to have a chat with the others."
She nodded. "We can meet them outside the infirmary, so that they won't disturb him. They…they will want to know what happened, and you know how vocal Miyako can be."
"Oh yes, I do." Takeru smiled weakly. "Did you contact his parents?"
"I tried, but there's nobody at home."
"What about Jun?"
She shook her head sadly. "I don't have her mobile number."
Takeru cursed under his breath. The more he learned about his friend's situation, the more he realized that something must be seriously wrong. Daisuke wasn't the type to withdraw when faced with trouble. No, usually he would take them head first, with the stubborn attitude they all knew so well.
What could have changed his mind in this one? And why had he kept his friends out of it? Didn't he trust them anymore? Or had he tried to protect them?
Drugs, the nurse had said. Would Daisuke take drugs? No, definitely no.
But could he be sure? The boy on the bed seemed so different from the friend he knew and loved.
"We just have to wait until he wakes up." Takeru whispered softly to himself.
Hikaru put a comforting hand on his shoulders, but he could read the same pain in her eyes. They had failed their friend. And it hurt.
"We should meet the others." She suggested softly. "It's time that we find out what is wrong."
Takeru only nodded.
I like football. Why, do you ask?
Because when I am playing…when I am on the field…then it's just me and the team. Me and the ball. Everything else is forgotten. I want to play, I want to win, I want to run, to feel, to live! Yes, that's what it's like – it feels alive. I'm me when I am playing football. Only me, nobody else. I'm neither the leader of the Digidestined, nor the failure at school. I'm just Daisuke.
And it feels good.
I miss that feeling. I haven't been able to feel that in a long, long time. And sometimes I wonder…
Will I ever feel it again?
-Daisuke's Notes
Jun looked up from her sheet of paper. She couldn't explain it, but all of sudden, a feeling of uneasiness washed over her. "Strange," she muttered, gnawing on the pen.
Unconsciously, she wanted to brush the hair out of her face, only to realize that it was no longer there. Hot tears stung in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. She had done enough crying over the last days.
"Don't cry. Finish the letter." She whispered to herself.
But the writing prove to be more difficult than she would have imagined. She couldn't concentrate for long; the medication made her all dizzy and the letters would blur in front of her eyes.
"Concentrate, Motomiya." she reprimanded herself, disgusted by her own weakness.
Sticking out her tongue, she continued writing once more, her bald head bent over the paper. It gave her something to focus on. The hospital, the confinement, her illness, it all drove her mad. She was surrounded by sick people, by suffering and sorrow.
With a pang she remembered Ruby, the little girl in the room down the corridor, who had been lying in a coma ever since Jun arrived. The older Motomiya had taken a strange liking to this girl. More than once, she had snuck into her room at night, just watching her sleep. It made her wonder – what was Ruby thinking?
Was she awake?
Did she know what was going on?
Or was her mind somewhere else? Was she dreaming?
Jun didn't know, but there were endless possibilities. Ruby looked so small and pale, fragile, like a girl. She should be outside and play, running around with red cheeks, her laughter sparkling like the stars at night. Instead, she was confined to the hospital, a tube in her throat, pale, weak, ghastly.
There wasn't much hope left, the nurses murmured. She was too young, too weak.
Hearing that had made her cry. She didn't want Ruby to die. Even though she had never talked with the girl, she regarded her with fondness.
"You have to be strong." Jun whispered, closing her eyes as tears threatened to fall. "Like I try to be strong. I don't want to die. I want to live. I want to survive!"
She looked down at the lines she had written. "What am I saying? I know that I am dying…I am DYING, for Gods' sake…and Ruby's dying as well, everybody's dying, and I will never be able to leave this damn hospital…"
Furiously, she flung the pen at the wall where it broke with a satisfying, snapping noise. "I hate it! I hate how everybody's tiptoeing around me, as if they have to wrap me in cotton! I want to know, I want to know so that I can be prepared…am I dying? Will I survive?"
Jun breathed hard, tears running down her ashen face. There was nobody who could hear her rantings, but that didn't matter. She needed to get the feelings off her chest, otherwise she would explode. It was this constant to and fro that made life unbearable. She was torn between hoping and falling into despair; between thinking what she had to arrange for her death and what she would do when she could leave the hospital.
She needed to know.
Jun sighed, trying to calm down. She knew all too well that nobody really knew. They could only suspect – and hope.
Still, that didn't make it easier. Not for her, and not for her family. She could see it in their eyes, even though they never said anything. She could see her brother's naked fear. Oh yes, he was trying to play his role, tried to be cheerful, and Jun was grateful for that. She wouldn't know how to deal with a teary Daisuke.
However, he was hurting. He was scared that she would die and leave him behind. They weren't the closest of siblings, but they were still brother and sister, and nobody could deny them this bond.
Jun dropped her head in defeat. "I'm not made for this stuff." she exclaimed to nobody in particular. Then, with a heavy sigh on her lips, she bent over and snatched another pen from the table.
little dragon
come flying, come with me
stretch your wings and hold your breath
little dragon
feel the air under your wings, come
don't be afraid of the last step
little dragon
life is one big adventure
but what comes next, we don't know
Veemon looked gloomily out of the window. He wished Daisuke would have taken him with him, but he knew that Digimon weren't allowed at the exam. Still, he felt desperate. He knew that his partner needed him more than ever, yet he wasn't there. It was a terrible feeling, and the digimon hated it with a passion.
Not even eating could cheer him up, which was a new experience for Veemon.
"Davis…" he sighed, feeling terribly lonely in the dark apartment. The rooms were abandonded, like they had been over the last weeks.
Jun's room was closed and Daisuke's parents would only come home to eat and sleep.
The Digimon sighed again, wondering how he could help his partner. He knew that Daisuke wasn't handling the situation very well, but he just wouldn't talk with him!
Veemon couldn't help but wonder what he did wrong. Maybe he was a pathetic partner after all; he'd bet that Gatomon or Patamon would know exactly what to do. They were so much better at this kind of stuff than he would ever be!
"Oh Davis…I'm so sorry…" tears glistened in his large eyes. "I want to help you, but you won't let me, and I don't know what to do…"
...pain...
Daisuke stared at the wall in confusion. Why was there a wall? And why was he standing so close to it that his nose almost touched the concrete?
Wait…hadn't he been in the school just now?
Yes, he had! Dimly he remembered exams, and the worried face of Hikari. Hikari? Worried? Why?
He tried to remember, but he couldn't. His mind was just a big, black hole. Only a vague feeling of uneasiness lingered in the corner of his mind, telling him that something wasn't quite right, even though he believed it to be.
Daisuke stepped back from the wall – he was getting a bit bored of staring at concrete – and examined his surroundings. As far as he could see, he was in a normal street, nothing special. How had he gotten here?
"I don't want to GO!" a whiny voice interrupted his thoughts, and he nearly jumped in shock.
"I don't care what you want, Mum said you have to and I'm only following her orders!" was the grumpy reply, spoken in a girlish voice.
Daisuke's eyes widened. He knew those voices…but that couldn't be happening, could it?
Transfixed, he stared into the direction the sounds had come from. He heard footsteps, and then two people came around the corner.
The first thing he noticed about them were the identical, spiky haircuts. There was a small, maybe six year old boy and an older, lanky girl who must have been around ten. They both had brown hair, although there was a tint of red in the boy's hair, a tint, as Daisuke knew all too well, that would become more apparant as he grew older.
"No." he whispered. "This must be a hallucination."
However, if it was, then it was a quite solid one, for the two children continued walking towards him. "I don't WANNA!" the boy emphasized. "Stupid Jun!"
The girl rolled her eyes heavenwards. "It's not my fault, baka! Mom said so, go and complain to her!"
"But she's not here."
"Well, then shut up and be quiet."
"NO!"
Jun – for this girl was definitely his sister (who else could look this annoyed?) – gritted her teeth, trying her best not to explode. Little brothers could be such a nuisance!
"Look, you either shut up or I make you shut up!" she threatened, a glint of malice in her eyes. "There's nothing you can do to change this, so bear it like a man."
Daisuke's knees felt weak. He knew this exchange, remembered it so well. It had been his first time to go to football practise, ever. And, as surprising as it might sound, he hadn't wanted to go. He despised the idea of meeting all those new people. He'd rather have played with his own friends around the block.
But no, his parents had insisted. Sport was good for children, they always said, good for health and spirit. And so they sent him off, to the football club that was around the corner, because it was the easiest and cheapest way.
Daisuke had felt as if they wanted to get rid of him. However, those feelings changed totally as soon as he realized how great football was.
But all this didn't explain why he saw a younger version of himself walking down the street. The boy was pouting, a stubborn frown on his face, and Daisuke remembered all too clearly that he had been going there with the firm intention of hating everything.
Then he gazed at Jun, and realized with a jolt how small she was. She had always been his bigger sister who'd he been looking up to, until his late teenage years, when he had finally been able to outgrow her. So it was only understandable that in all his memories, Jun appeared as a towering force, usually glaring at him.
Seeing her as a ten-year old girl, a good head smaller than him, was quite weird.
Daisuke shook his head. "I'm not drunk, am I?" He patted his body, looking for some kind of reason why he was seeing things that shouldn't be there.
Then his face lit up. "Oh, I
know…of course!" How could he have missed it? If all of this wasn't possible, and he was just experiencing a weird flashback of some sort, then the obvious conclusion was…
"I must be dreaming."
To be continued…
Thank you all very much for reviewing! It makes me feel so happy!
ashes2ashes – Yes, I wrote the poem, and I think it's already getting obvious what the purpose of it is in the story…at least I hope so. The scene with Jun should have been a dead giveaway :-) I know what you mean about Daisuke. I simply cannot believe that there's nothing deeper in this boy…and I like showing this deeper part, although it might be a bit too deep and angsty…ah well.
Puppeh – Well, I'm glad that you like it that much. I always try to update as quickly as possible, but it doesn't always work. Writer's block is an ugly enemy…:sighs:.
Dark Qiviut – You read reviews of other stories? I rarely do that…well, maybe sometimes, but most of the times, I can't be bothered. Daisuke and okay? Hmm, knowing me and my sense of angstiness, it will be a long time until he's okay again…
Mist – I totally agree with your opinion about Davis and TK. I think they would make great friends because they're different. TK thinks things through, why Davis possesses this certain boldness I always admire…As much as I like Daikari, I think it would be silly to portray them as enemies just because the fancy the same girl. Most of the times, I cannot imagine Takeru fancying Hikari – they are more like siblings in my eyes.
Ficmaster – You were right – he cracked! (was kind of obvious that this had to happen). Wonder what will happen next:g:
Hijojo – The switching names…:laughs:. I admit, this is some kind of habit I got into…basically, I prefer the Japanese names. I use the American names (TK, Kari, Davis) as a kind of nickname when they are talking to each other. When I am writing about them, I use the Japanese names…is that confusing? I dunno, I just started doing it and I actually like it that way…O.o It's one of those weird things that are going on in the mess Kaeera calls her mind…
Duskmon87 – Well, question one was answered with this chapter, and as for question two: No. There will be no sequel for Empty Eyes and Soulless Eyes. They have been finished a long time ago – I wouldn't know what to write anyway. Besides, I hate my writing style back then, it's so full of mistakes and sounds absolutely horrible. Sorry…but no sequels (I'm not a sequel-writing person).