Two's Company, Three's Insane

'Abandon sanity, all ye who enter here.'

It was a doormat. A rather nice black-on-cream one, of good quality, made out of stiff plastic bristles that were perfect for wiping dirt off of one's shoes.

Or blood off the blade of one's – well, two's – Millennium Rod.

"That…is actually kinda cool," Malik couldn't keep himself from admitting.

Marik's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Hmm…"

Malik's brow furrowed at his yami's serious expression. "You don't think so?" he asked.

"Actually, I do," Marik said, one finger tapping against his chin thoughtfully. "But I really think this fits the Pharaoh better than us."

Malik's violet eyes went wide with shock – and hurt. He was justifiably proud of his Millennium Rod, and its ability to turn anyone into a mindless slave, after all. "You do?" he asked incredulously.

Seeing the hurt in his hikari's eyes – and knowing that he wouldn't be getting any if Malik descended into depression – Marik wrapped an arm around his lover's throat, almost choking Malik in his exuberance. "Only because he keeps harping on us for sapping people of their wills, while he cheerfully goes along driving them more insane than we are. I think it's highly hypocritical of him." He sniffed haughtily, causing Malik to giggle.

"Then maybe we should return the favor," Malik said ominously, eyeing the doormat with a gleam in his eyes.

Marik smiled. "Best idea I've heard all day." Of course, it won't be when I suggest we have sex.

Two Days Later

"What is this supposed to mean?" Yami asked, staring down at the woven plastic insult in his hands. He knew they'd sent a doormat exactly like that one to Malik and Marik, but he couldn't imagine why they would send it back. No one yet had returned their 'gifts' no matter how much they disliked them.

One idea came to Yugi's mind, but he hesitated to voice it. Unfortunately Yami caught the look on his face that meant a light bulb had just gone off in his mind. "Do you have an idea why they sent this to us, aibou?" he asked needlessly.

"Ano…" Yugi scratched his nose and averted his eyes. "Yes," he admitted reluctantly, chuckling slightly.

Yami waited patiently for a moment, but then when no information appeared to be forthcoming, he demanded, "Well?"

Chuckling nervously, Yugi said, "Well, perhaps it is referring, however obliquely, to your Mind Crush attack." At the blank look he received from his other, Yugi said rather pointedly, "It does drive people insane, Yami."

Yami colored. "Ano…er…" He ducked his head sheepishly, unable to come up with a reply.

Yugi snickered at his yami's predicament. The gift that keeps on giving… "Insane minds think alike," he pronounced.

Yami groaned.