Prologue, "b" – The Meeting
Ah, there you are. Let's see... when last we met, I had spoken to you about Kairi's kidnapping by the Heartless and the subsequent transferring of her heart to Sora.
(ahem)
Sora was, as I believe we have established, simple-minded. Very simple-minded. The concept of shadow-creatures coming out of the ground to kidnap one of his best friends was so mind-bogglingly not a simple-minded concept that Sora simply could not handle the mental stress.
His mind broke.
And I mean broke. Shattered. If you were within twenty feet of him your brain would've been sliced to pieces by the hundreds of shards of mind flying around everywhere. His brain broke so much that, by the sheer power of brain-broken-ness, the key in his back pocket turned into a three-foot-long weapon of mass destruction.
As you know, weapons of mass destruction are generally not a good idea when in the hands of mentally unstable and/or evil people, the former of which includes Sora. Weapons of mass destruction also, however, are not usually made out of metal and are used to unlock your door whenever you've just come back from going out somewhere and had previously decided to prevent people from going into your house, which, funnily enough, rarely works, as thieves often know of many many hiding places for the 'spare key' that virtually everyone owns just in case they lose their regular key.
Either way, using this weapon of mass destruction, Sora brainwashed a dog and a duck into speaking English, following him, and believing themselves to be on a quest to find a 'King' (which, subsequently, Sora made out of a mouse when the time grew necessary). Meanwhile, Riku had been innocently seduced by an evil witch who brainwashed him to do her bidding (which wasn't Riku's fault), possessed by an evil scientist come back as a spirit (which wasn't Riku's fault), and generally been in many unpleasant experiences (which weren't Riku's fault). After things stopped happening to Riku, he managed to fix Sora's mind with the help of Mr. Tape, Mr. Superglue, and Mrs. Fixing-Your-Best-Friend's-Brain-for-Dummies.
This restored Sora nearly to his normal level of smartness, which was barely smarter than before his mind broke. With this newly (not-quite-)repaired mind, he and Riku set off on a new adventure.
This adventure was caused by the fact that Kairi – we learned about her last chapter, remember? – had developed both Attention Deficit Disorder and a terrible singing voice. With a combination of these two, she was able to fend off the hundreds of Riku fangirls clamoring to kill her.
Of course, this terrible ADD-fueled singing nearly destroyed both Riku's and Sora's ears, so to avoid Riku being deaf, the author sent him on a mindless quest to run away from Kairi, and promptly forgot about Kairi.
Eventually, while traversing through the many many (read: three) worlds, the author lost track of Sora and eventually didn't care. He was too busy writing mushy sexy Leon x Cloud love scenes 3 Well, er, anyways... the author (now known as the Author for reasons unknown) had forgotten about Sora, but Sora had not forgotten about the Author. Soon after Riku arrived in Traverse Town, Sora began to exact his revenge. But... instead, Sora got knocked over by a chair and presumed dead – go figure.
Of course, 'presumed dead' and 'actually dead' are two very, very different terms that are usually exclusive of each other, except in special cases involving zombies, the full moon, and/or the second-to-last piece of apple pie. But that's an altogether separate story.
Sora, in his madness, decided to turn against the Author himself – his Creator – the all-assumed God of the Fictional Realm – it's too heinous for words! But, being mad, Sora was indeed too heinous for words. In his heinousness he began to plot, plot, and did I mention? Plot! Plot plot plot plot plot...
It was a dark and stormy night, which is such a clichéd sentence that its mere existence cancelled itself out.
It was a bright and sunny day in Twilight Town, which is odd, because Twilight Town was contained entirely in twilight, due to the powerful magical wonder of time travel. So apparently, it was either a bright and sunny twilight in Twilight Town, or the time machines were broken.
Roxas was a young boy living in Twilight Town. He led a perfectly ordinary life, except for the simple fact that although he was approximately fifteen years old, he had no memory of the first fourteen years, eleven months, and two weeks of his life.
This was not an uncommon thing – in Twilight Town, people would get so drunk they couldn't remember their names, ages, or even whether they were male or female, even if they were in the nude looking down – but as Roxas was not from Twilight Town and therefore not susceptible to Twilight Town's famous DNA-beers (which, oddly, affect only those who have genetic roots dating back to the origin of Twilight Town), it was in fact rather odd at the same time as being not uncommon.
...Anyhoo, Roxas had only two weeks of memory in his tiny little skull, and to make matters worse, he had Jesse McCartney's voice! Oh noes! It's so terrible, I will KILL Square-Enix for making that stupid little prettyboy the voice of one of the most major characters in the game, they are so STUPID, it's almost as bad as Lance Bass Sephiroth, and we all know they should've learned their lesson from Aeris and Mandy Moore... Stupid Square-Enix...
Oh, sorry, did I go off on a rant? Sorry about that.
At this moment, Roxas was sitting in his little clubhouse with his three friends who are so unimportant to the story that the Author has already forgotten their names.
"So, what'cha doing, Roxas?" asked that brunette girl.
"..." Roxas looked down at a watch which appeared out of nowhere on his wrist. "...Thirty seconds until a plot point... twenty... ten... five... four... three... two..."
Suddenly, white creatures fell from the ceiling and began wreaking havoc. Mindless, useless, and utterly unnecessary havoc, but havoc nonetheless.
"Oh, no!" the blond dude exclaimed. "Those white creatures have fallen from the ceiling (why we didn't notice them there, I don't know) and begun wreaking mindless, useless, and utterly unnecessary havoc, but havoc nonetheless!"
"Duh," Roxas said, before fainting.
"Hey, you, over there!" a voice yelled.
"Huh?" Roxas asked, enveloped in liquid darkness. OK, so the darkness wasn't really liquid, it was more like the absence of light waves. STOP IT WITH THE THIRD DEGREE ALREADY!
Oh, yeah, the fic. Right.
"You! Blonde kid!"
"I'm not blonde, I'm blond!" Roxas shouted back. "Blonde implies feminity!"
"Have you seen yourself?" replied the voice.
"It's not my fault I'm girly!" Roxas cried. "It's this stupid voice!" He suddenly burst into song. "I don't want another pretty face / I don't want just anyone to hold / I don't want my love to go to waste / I want you and your beautiful soul / You're the one I wanna chase / You're the one I wanna hold / I won't let another minute go to waste / I want you and your beautiful soul..."
"AAAUGH!" the voice cried. "HERE... TAKE THIS... JUST SHUT UP!" And a big fat key appeared in Roxas's left hand.
"Wow, I didn't know I was left-handed," Roxas muttered. "Stupid easily-erasable memories..."
Roxas woke with a start to find that his friends were gone, as were the white creatures. He looked around and saw two very important things and several unimportant things.
One of the unimportant things he saw was that there were white creatures all around the town, and that there were also black creatures. He saw that his friend Hayner's father was being carried off by the creatures. He saw that the man from down the street whose name Roxas could never remember, was being attacked by the creatures. That was a pity; he liked to give Roxas ice cream in the early afternoon.
Roxas was pulled from his dairy-related fantasy by the sight of the two important things: the first, and less important, was the fact that he still had the key in his hand. It seemed to be an ordinary key, aside from the rather unordinary fact that it was so very large. It seemed to be for an ordinary use for keys, except for the rather unordinary fact that it seemed to be designed for very large keyholes, presumably in very large doors. It seemed to be made of ordinary materials, except for the fact that it was very hard and, to Roxas, looked as if it could cause unconsciousness with one whack upside the head.
The second, and most important, of the very important things was the fact that there was a ship in front of him. As he looked at it, the following Jesse McCartney-voiced thoughts ran through his head:
"Wow, a spaceship! With it... I can go to other places... and stop those things... and... and... what's that third part? Ugh, where's my script!"
Roxas immediately ran onto the spaceship, believing his script to be aboard. Soon afterward, all the black and white creatures ran onto the spaceship, completely ignored Roxas (as he was currently searching a closet for his script), and took off, flying away from Twilight Town toward an unknown world...
Meanwhile, DiZ was at his house when he looked out the window and saw that the mail had come! He ran outside, dancing and singing with joy at the fact that the mail had come, and opened the mailbox to find a letter. After dancing back to his house, he opened up the letter to find this message –
Dear DiZ –
On behalf of the Organization XIII, I would like to invite you to a tea party tomorrow at 2:00pm at our secret hideout. Please bring with you all of your reports, plans, secrets, expensive jewelry, etc etc.
– Love, X
"Oh, boy!" DiZ cried out happily. "I've always wanted to go to a tea party with all my reports – plans – secrets – and expensive jewelry! Yaaaaay!"
The next day at 1:59pm and fifty-nine seconds, DiZ was standing outside the door of the Organization XIII's secret hideout.
One second later, a man in a dark cloak opened the door.
"Yaaaay! Tea party!" DiZ exclaimed.
"...Er... yes, tea party," the man agreed.
"TEA PARTY TEA PARTY TEA PARTY!" DiZ screamed, running into the hideout. "LET'S TEA PARTY!"
"DiZ," the man said firmly. "We have something we wish to... inform you of."
"Whatwhatwhatwhatwhat?" DiZ asked gleefully. "I love guessing games!"
"I'm sure you do," the man muttered darkly, before continuing, "We would prefer it if you were to... quit your involvement in our affairs. It's getting quite annoying."
"Aww... I don't wanna!" DiZ replied angrily. "You guys are evil and I hafta stop ya!"
"You force us to do something we don't really want to do," the man said, signaling another man in black behind him, who took out a pair of red-painted chakrams. "Oh, why lie? We love doing this." And with that, the man with the chakrams attacked.
Well, he would have, if he had known where to attack.
"Where'd he go?" the man asked, confused.
"Ah..." the first man replied thoughtfully. "I forgot that his special ability is to run away really, really fast..."
"What're we gonna do about him?" the second man said grimly. "If he keeps going on like this, we're going to be whittled down to nothing."
"You don't know of my plans, do you?" the first man chuckled.
"What?"
"I think we should play to our strengths. Use those who we have control over."
"You don't mean – Naminé?"
"Yes." The first man chuckled. "We really ought to thank Sora for supplying us with our little pet..."