Disclaimer: This story is written for fun-purpose only. I don't own Digimon or the characters I use in this story; and no money is made with this fanfic.

Genre: Tragedy/Drama

Rating: T (just to be safe)

Criticism: Always welcome, as long as it's constructive.

Notes: Uh…Three months since the last update? Uwaahh…I'm sorry.

Well, there's not much to say. I've been incredibly busy since I started studying (bioengineering) and there's not much time left to write. I have no intention to abandon this story, but there will be huge gaps between chapters.

Not much happens in this chapter. Mostly conversations. Things seem to move very slowly…hmm. I should bring in some action.

Some swearing in this chapter. Consider yourself warned.

Little Dragon

by Kaeera

Chapter Seven: Partial Release

"There's no bailing out this time, Daisuke. We have to talk." Ken looked utterly serious as he said these words, and Daisuke couldn't help feeling slightly panicky inside. What did he mean? He hadn't done anything wrong, had he? Well, he might have avoided the others a bit, but usually that wasn't a problem…

"Why?" he asked in a small voice.

"Why didn't you tell us?" To his surprise, Ken didn't look reproachful. No, he looked very sad instead, and, well, worried.

"Tell you what?" echoed Daisuke, a feeling of dread in his gut. Ken couldn't know, could he? He had tried to keep it a secret, had tried so hard…and he would have told them, sooner or later, but in his own time, maybe when Jun was a little bit better…

Ken shook his head, disappointment evident all over his face. "That Jun has got cancer."

Daisuke's face whitened even more, if that was possible, and he only stared in shock. "How…why…you know…"

"Yes, Davis, we know.", the blue-haired genius said patiently. "And it explains why you've been acting so weird lately. I was so worried about you! I didn't know what was wrong, and you wouldn't tell me! Why? We are your friends – I am your friend! We are here to help you. Nobody should pull through something like this alone! But you wanted to do it…so stubborn, so typical. I know it's impossible. Believe me, Davis, I know. I wouldn't want you to suffer like I did. It's not worth it!"

Pain shone in his purple eyes, and they both knew he remembered Osamu. Ken hadn't had anybody as a friend after his brother's death. But, oh, he could have needed them, so very much.

"I want to help you," he repeated. "And I want to help Jun. Davis, I can't understand…normally, you tell me everything. Why didn't you this time?"

Daisuke felt tears burning in his eyes, much to his horror. No, he couldn't cry! Especially not in front of Ken. He was supposed to be the strong one, the leader…and leaders didn't cry.

"I couldn't tell you…" his voice trailed off in a whisper. "I didn't want to bother you. And-"

"Bother me?" exclaimed Ken incredulously. "Honestly, only you would think that! Do you seriously think it would bother me if you came and told me your problems? Especially when they are as grave as this one?"

"No. No…it's not that." The redhead rubbed his eyes wearily. This was all too much to deal with after his collapse. He would have liked to go back to sleep, but this was a conversation that had been waiting to happen for a long time. He knew that there was no bailing out this time. He just wasn't up to it.

"You were all busy…exams…and I know you would have helped me, but I didn't want you to…to feel the same things I do. I didn't want you to feel sad, or to feel pity…and besides, I'm supposed to be the tough one. I have to keep my spirit, even when no one else does…"

Ken grabbed his arm, shaking the frail body. "That's absolute bullshit, Davis, and you know it!"

He ignored Daisuke's astonished gasp – Ken usually never swore - but continued seamlessly. "You're not supposed to be anything! You're Daisuke Motomiya, and that's it! It's okay to feel down or depressed, because it happens to all of us. That's what friends are for! Friends cheer you up and help you when you need them. You certainly could have needed help, but instead, you closed off and went your own ways. It must have been so painful!"

Daisuke refrained from commenting, knowing all too well how miserable he had felt during the last weeks.

"And what's with the no sleeping thing? I've come to know you as a person who values sleeping and eating. Now I find you in the hospital, only to discover that you collapsed from malnutrition and lack of sleep!" Ken was furious. "You could have died!"

Daisuke avoided his gaze, staring at the bedcovers. "Well, I had to study for the exams…"

"Exams! Why the sudden rush? You never cared much about them."

A bitter look appeared on Daisuke's face. "Yeah, well, I know, Davis doesn't care, Davis is stupid…I know it all," he spat out disgustedly. "But I promised…I promised Jun that I would do my best in the exams, and I couldn't let her down."

"So you studied until you collapsed?" The genius shook his head. "That's ridiculous."

His only reply was a shrug.

"What about your parents? Didn't they say anything?"

Daisuke mumbled something which Ken couldn't quite understand. "What was that?"

"I said they're never at home anyway."

Ken's eyes narrowed. "Explain."

"Well…they're either working or they're with Jun at the hospital. Ever since they started her treatment, the situation at home has been depressing. Well, not really. It's just that nobody is there anymore. Dad is working twelve hours a day. Mom as well. When they're home, they're sleeping. Or visiting Jun." He shrugged. "They think I'm not noticing things. They think I really believe what I say."

Oups. He hadn't meant to voice the last sentence. Quickly he glanced at his friend, hoping that Ken might have overheard that tiny detail.

"And what is it that you say?"

Damn. He should have known better. After all, Ken was one of the smartest kids around; he wouldn't miss even the tiniest detail.

"Nothing important."

"Davis…please."

The redhead sighed. Darn. He never could resist this tone. Ken had the annoying ability to pull all kind of information out of him, even when he didn't want to share. "Well, just that Jun will be healthy again…and come back to us."

Ken nodded, deep in thought. "And you don't believe that?"

"Well, I do…kind of…" Suddenly, he felt a big lump in his throat and a sob threatened to escape. "I mean, they say that there is hope, and you can't give up, can you…"

"Davis…" Ken just sat there, looking at him. In his eyes was the same pain Daisuke felt in his heart, and somehow, that put an end to all his remaining self-restraint. Suddenly, the tears fell freely.

He grabbed his friend's shirt, tears streaming down his face. "Oh Ken, I'm so afraid, I keep pretending everything is alright, that Jun will be healthy again, because everybody else is doom saying and she is so depressed, but I can see how she's fading and it scares me, every time I see her she's a little bit weaker and there's no light in her smile anymore and I'm so afraidbecauseIdon'twanttolosemysister…"

"Shh." Ken hugged him carefully, rocking the sobbing boy. "Shh. It's okay to cry. It will be okay. Somehow, we'll come through this. It'll be okay."

Takeru inserted a coin in the vending machine and chose a hot chocolate. The steaming liquid poured into a plastic cup, but he didn't pay any attention to his drink. His mind was focused on something else.

"I wonder what are they talking about." he frowned at the machine when it beeped, announcing that his drink was ready.

"Well, there aren't that many choices, I would guess." Iori answered, face grim.

"True." Takeru couldn't help feeling relieved that it wasn't him who had to hold the conversation with either Jun or Daisuke. As dearly as he loved his friend, he knew that he wasn't the right person for this task. Things like that made him sad, but that wouldn't help the two. Someone needed to find the right words, and it certainly wasn't Takeru.

"I feel sorry for them both." He admitted. "I wouldn't know what to do if Yamato died."

"You would deal with it, as everybody does." An expression of pain flickered over Iori's face. "Although it would hurt a lot."

The blonde boy studied his younger friend. "I know." he whispered softly, recognizing the yearning look Iori got every time he thought of his deceased father. Still, he couldn't imagine a life without his brother. Yamato had always been there, had guided and protected him. Even now, when he didn't need to be protected anymore, Takeru still knew that Yamato would do it anyway, and that gave him a warm feeling in his chest.

Of course it was also damn annoying, but he had learned to live with it.

"We should give them some time."

Takeru took the cup. "That we should," he agreed and swallowed a bit. The hot liquid eased some of his anxiety, but only a little.

"Do you think Jun is going to die?" The blonde boy wondered after a minute of silence.

Iori shrugged uncomfortably. "I don't know. I don't want her to, but…but she looked awfully pale. As far as I know, cancer doesn't have to be deadly, there are heaps of treatments. She should know, shouldn't she?"

"And Davis as well." Takeru pondered this. "I still can't understand why he didn't say anything. I certainly would have."

"But you're not him."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I think Davis is far more secretive than he lets on. And he's a damn good actor, as he proved over the last couple of weeks." Now that he knew the truth, Iori remembered quite a few moments when Daisuke's smile had wavered.

Takeru felt the same. "He nearly killed himself and we didn't even notice. Some friends we are." A shudder ran through his body. He simply couldn't forget the haunted look in his friend's eyes.

"We cannot change the past." Iori nodded solemnly. "But we can try to change the present."

"You're so right with that." A determined spark glimmered in the blonde's eyes. "And we will start by being better friends. Because I don't think we did a good job so far."

"How I really feel?" Jun smiled wryly. "Do you want the whole list or just the high points?"

Hikari inspected the fragile girl. "Everything.", she said seriously. "And not just your physical state. I have a feeling you could need a friend as well."

Jun's smile widened. "You know, Davis is really lucky to have you. You're very nice."

"What about your friends?"

The smile vanished as quickly as it had come. "My friends?" The girl sighed deeply. "I never had Daisuke's luck when it came to finding friends, you know. Most of them are acquaintances, and I didn't tell them the truth. They think I went to another school. It's better that way, believe me."

"Why did you do that?" Hikari couldn't believe what she was hearing. "They are your friends! Did you honestly want to pull through this on your own?"

"I'm not alone. I've got my baby brother, and my parents. And as for your question why…" Jun paused. "I don't think you will ever really understand. I didn't want them to see me like that. So…frail. Vulnerable. No. I wanted them to remember me as the strong girl I used to be."

"Remember you…?" Hikari didn't get the meaning at first, but then her eyes widened. "No! You can't mean that…"

Jun just raised her eyebrows. "Whatever they say about you, you're a smart little cookie." Pain flashed over her face. "Yes, they say that I've got a good chance. That the treatment is going okay, and the worst will be over soon. But…there's always the 'but', Kari. And the longer it takes, the weaker my body becomes. Recently, I've started feeling…tired. I told the doc, and he looked at me with pity in his eyes. Pity! They don't say, but I think they all know…they all know that I don't have much time left."

A lonely tear slid down her cheek. "I never told anyone…" she whispered, confused. "Why am I telling you now?"

Hikari didn't know that either, but she could guess. "Because you needed a friend. And you don't want to tell Davis, because it will only make it harder for him – and you. He's trying to be strong and failing miserably. I'm kind of detached, so you can tell me."

She gulped, digesting what the older girl had said. Jun expected to die…she honestly expected to die, and, oh god, that meant that Daisuke…how would he deal with that? The death of his sister would crush him, because despite his outward appearances, he loved her dearly.

"That might be right." Jun laughed sardonically. "Cruel, but correct. God, I'm so pathetic."

Hikari shook her head firmly. "No, you're not. You are a very strong and admirable girl, Jun, so don't lie."

Jun snorted. "No, it's you who doesn't know anything. Hikari, I'm freaking out here! I'm scared shitless! I mean, I never wanted to die, but now I'm here and I can feel how life trickles out me, with each passing day!" More tears fell and she didn't even try to prevent it.

"I can't help thinking about it in all the hours I lie awake and stare at the walls. I'd rather have died in an accident than like this…it's humiliating…and damn painful!"

Hikari stared in amazement and realised that all those emotions had been bubbling in Jun for a long time. She hadn't been able to talk to anybody, and now that the opportunity was there, she couldn't stop.

She didn't mind. The child of light knew all too well that sometimes everybody needed to ramble a bit, blow off some steam and cry until no tears were left. Jun must have been bottling up her feelings for so long, it was a wonder she hadn't exploded.

"I'm sorry to hear that." She commented softly.

"Me too." Jun was crying openly now. "You know, it's just so damn hard. Damn it, there are so many things I wanted to do! I'm too young to die!"

She sniffed. "But that's not even the worst. I think I could deal with that – eventually. But I hate causing pain to others, and I'm doing it every day. You should see Daisuke when he visits me; he's got the worst hurt-puppy look you can imagine. Oh sure, he's trying to be strong, and he tells me about school and digimon and soccer and who knows what, but in his eyes I can see the pain…and gosh, it runs so deep, it scares me."

Hikari nodded. "He loves you very much."

"I know." Jun was miserable. Sometimes she had caught herself wishing that Daisuke didn't love her – because then she could spare him the pain, as well as her parents. She felt so guilty!

And then she felt guilty for not wanting to die, because it was so egoistical! She tried to think of the others, but in the back of her head, a little voice whispered 'you're going to die'. And that took all her attention.

"But Jun…are you sure that there's no hope?"

"I'm not sure about anything anymore." She felt the well-known feeling of bitterness sweep over her. "In the beginning I hoped, but now…I got disappointed so often, it's just easier not to expect anything."

Hikari was at her wit's end. What could she say to help?

What could you say to someone who was facing the possibility of death?

There were no words to describe the deep sorrow she felt. And she was sure that Jun, on the other hand, didn't have the words to describe the pain, the devastation, the hopelessness.

"If there's anything I can do to help…" her voice trailed off as she realized how meaningless those words sounded. There was nothing she could do! This wasn't like an enemy she could fight, this was nothing substantial.

They were powerless, and for the first time in her life Hikari felt defeated before she actually had done anything.

Jun wiped the tears away and didn't reply at first. "You can be there," she whispered then softly. "You and your friends. Be there for Daisuke, let him rely on you. Because I'm relying on him and he needs the strength. I don't want him to be alone, not ever!"

"He won't be." Hikari promised firmly, knowing that she'd rather die than let her friend face this pain on his own.

"Thank you."

Death.

What does it mean to us?

Ever since Jun got sick, I can't stop thinking about death. It's in my mind, 24/7. Death puts an end to everything. It would mean that I could never see Jun again. No grumpy sister in the morning, no one who snatches away the remote to watch 'Friends'…

I wonder if that's what TK felt when his parents divorced. After all, he wasn't able to see his brother anymore.

I wonder – did he cry? Did he miss Yamato? Probably.

But at least he knew his brother was alive…

Daisuke's Notes

"Feeling better now?" Ken wanted to know, after Daisuke had finally stopped crying.

"A little," the brown-haired boy answered. "I'm sorry for crying all over you."

Ken smiled softly. "There's nothing to be sorry about. I'm glad that you finally told me what was wrong. I knew that something was amiss, but you simply wouldn't tell me."

"I'm sorry." Daisuke apologized again, feeling ashamed of himself. "When I look at it now, it seems rather silly, but it made perfect sense at that time. Veemon had almost convinced me to tell you, though, and I had the firm intention to do so after the exams…well…somehow it never came to that." He rubbed his eyes wearily.

Ken was once again reminded how thin his friend was. Hadn't he eaten anything? He seemed almost starved.

Daisuke looked around, taking in the hospital surroundings. "Care to tell me what happened? It's still a bit blurry.

We finished the exams, didn't we?"

"Yes, you did. But after the final exam, you collapsed. They brought you to the infirmary where the nurse realized that a hospital would be the better place for you. So here you are. Brought in because of malnutrition, lack of sleep, dehydration and too much caffeine. Honestly, how much coffee did you drink?"

"Heaps. Needed to stay awake." Daisuke remembered the pile of empty cans in his room. "It actually tastes quite good, once you get used to it."

Ken just shook his head. "You're impossible."

Daisuke ignored the comment and looked at the IV that was connected to his wrists. "You don't suppose I could visit Jun, do you?"

"Not with this attached, but I'll see if I can find a doctor." Ken stood up and moved towards the door.

"Oh, and Davis…" Shortly before leaving the room, he stopped and turned around to look at his friend. His violet eyes burned with an intensity that took one's breath away. He shook his head, frowning, as if he didn't know how to word his thoughts. "Davis…if…if this turns out really bad…well…you know that you won't be alone, do you?"

Daisuke didn't even want to think of the possibility of it turning out bad, but he understood what Ken meant. His friend offered him solace and friendship, despite what might happen. It didn't matter what the future brought; Daisuke didn't have to face it alone.

His heart swelled with pride and joy. It was great to have friends.

Miyako ran all the way to Daisuke's apartment, conscious of the fact that she didn't even have a key. But if Veemon was at home – and she certainly hoped he was – he would open the door. Unless Daisuke had instructed him not do so. You couldn't trust Daisuke with anything these days.

Miyako was very angry. She was angry at Daisuke because he didn't tell her about Jun. She was angry at the world for letting something like this happen. But most of all, she was angry at herself. He had been right in front of her nose and she hadn't noticed!

Hikari – sweet, caring Hikari - had voiced concerns, but Miyako had brushed them off. She often felt uncomfortable when it came to feelings, and so the girl chose to avoid them as best as possible.

Here, it had clearly done more harm than good.

"Stupid, stupid!" she murmured breathlessly, as she turned around another street corner. The train ride to the station had only taken ten minutes, but it was another ten minute walk to the apartment block, and Miyako felt she didn't have much time. That she owed Daisuke.

It was foolish behaviour, some small part of her brain realized. She was making herself suffer as a punishment for her actions. What would it matter if Veemon arrived ten minutes later?

But it made her feel better, and so she ran.

The lavender haired girl slowed down as the apartment block came in sight. Her pulse was racing and she gasped for breath, not being used to running. She had never been one for physical activity.

After a short break, she entered the building – quickly darting past an old lady who stepped out the front door – and climbed up the stairway.

"Veemon?" she called softly when she finally reached the apartment door and rang the bell. "It's me, Miyako. Are you there? Can you open the door for me?"

At first she heard nothing, but then soft shuffling noises came from the other side. With a clack, the lock unlocked and the door swang open. Veemon was staring at her with huge eyes, standing on a chair he had used to reach the door handle.

"Miyako? Davis hasn't come home yet, I don't know where he is…"

The girl stepped into the apartment and closed the door. "Oh Veemon, I'm so sorry, but he collapsed at school and they brought him to the hospital."

"What?" the little digimon's eyes widened and tears started to well up. "Oh no! I told him to look out for himself, but he wouldn't listen…is he okay? It's my fault! I should have done something, but he wouldn't listen…" Veemon was frantic and started sobbing.

Miyako could perfectly relate to him, but now wasn't the time for a guilt trip.

"Shh. It's okay." she gathered the crying digimon in her arms. "I know how you're feeling – believe me, I know – but right now, we have to get back to the hospital. Davis needs you. I think we might have reached a turning point – at least now we know what's wrong."

Veemon looked up, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. "You know about…Jun?"

Miyako smiled sadly. "Yes. Yes, we do."

More tears welled up. "I'm sooorry! I wanted to tell you, but Davis didn't want me to and made me promise, and I simply can't break my promise, even though I knew you would be able to help him, but he withdrew, even from me and I don't know what to do anymore…"

"There, there." The girl patted him on the back. "Let's go and see him, alright? I'm sure we'll find a solution for this mess. At least we're all together now. And you know that we're an unbeatable team!"

Veemon sniffed and nodded. He wiped the tears away and then climbed into Miyako's backpack without any protest.

"By the way, where are their parents?"

"Not at home. Working," came the muffled reply through several layers of backpack.

"Figures." Miyako had never thought much of Daisuke's parents, but now her opinion sank even lower.

Even though I bear the crest of friendship, I haven't got the slightest clue about it – friendship, I mean. My friends are very important to me and I would give my life for them. But I find it amazing that they would do the same in return.

After all, who am I? Stupid Daisuke, just another Motomiya with a head full of maggots. I used to be the guy you hang out with, but never, ever people trusted me with their innermost feelings.

That changed when I became a Digidestined. Suddenly, I had people trusting me, relying on me, fighting with me! And they shared their secrets, they weren't afraid to admit their fears and the pain they were feeling.

With me, Ken opened up and told me about his brother. I didn't understand why – he's such a genius and I'm just a normal boy with a fascination for soccer. But it seemed to help him, so I was glad to listen.

I find it hard to do the same in return. Somehow, I have the feeling that my problems are meaningless, too small, and that I have to deal with them on my own.

Deal with things in your own. The mantra in my family. My parents raised us to be independent and aloof, and now Jun and I are so independent that we're almost lonely. I say almost because I've got my friends, but what about Jun? Sure, she's got an amazing number of girlfriends, but I don't think they share the same bond I share with Ken, and I doubt that Jun trust them with her real heart.

It's sad.

And it makes me wonder.

What is friendship? How can it be that so many people define friendship differently? I am supposed to be a good friend – it is one of my crests after all – but I understand nothing of it.

How can I be a good friend when I don't even know what exactly it's about?

Daisuke's Notes

To be continued…

Duskmon – Thanks fort he reminder e-mail; you kind of activated my guilty conscience and I started writing. I'm incredibly sorry for the long delay, but I simply cannot find the time and often I am too tired to write…

The Light's Refrain – Well, I guess now it's pretty obvious what's going on in Jun's head. Ahh…we angst nuts have to keep together :)

Dark Qiviut – I hope you liked Davis' and Ken's conversation. Ken seems to be very disappointed because Daisuke didn't tell him…well, I would feel that way as well. nods

To all others: Thanks for the reviews, you made my day and it was only because of you that I dragged my lazy bum to the computer and continued writing!