Crime Gets You Laid

Slogan courtesy of High on Sugar, her review of Chapter 70.

'Stupidity is not a crime, so you're free to go!'

"We've never been convicted of a crime, so why do people keep sending us insults about it?" Malik wondered, gazing down at the silver-on-navy blue bumper sticker in his hands.

Marik snickered. "Hikari, the only reason we haven't been convicted is because we haven't been caught," he emphasized. "We've committed tons of crimes – are you forgetting Battle City?"

Malik's mouth twisted up in an expression that was half-frown, half-smirk. "No, I'm not forgetting how practically all the crimes committed then were when you were in control of my body."

Marik's smirked. "The police wouldn't believe you if you told them about your 'yami.' Especially since now we have separate bodies. You'd have to cop an insanity defense, because they'd think you were the one who committed all those crimes."

Expression losing its smirk half to turn into a full-blown grimace, Malik said, voice dispassionate, "I hate you, Marik."

Marik smiled such that it wouldn't have been out of place for a few canary feathers to be seen sticking out of his mouth. "I know, koi," he said smugly. "And I love you, too." With that, he plucked the bumper sticker out of Malik's hands and threw it towards the nearby trashcan. He never noticed that it landed a foot shy of its target – the dark spirit was too busy seducing his lover.

Recognizing the look in his yami's eyes, Malik gulped. That look had been known to mean anything from, 'I've committed some dastardly deed and want to tell you all about it,' to, 'I'm about to commit some dastardly deed and want you to help me – and no is not an acceptable answer,' or even, 'You're gorgeous, you're mine, and I'm going to fuck you raw.'

Sometimes all three.

"What do you want, Marik?" Malik asked guardedly, hoping against hope that all Marik wanted was his help in continuing the insult chain.

Light danced in Marik's eyes, the optical equivalent of a hentai smirk. "You," he said, voice husky with unspent passion about to be spent. He pounced, and proceeded to commit another 'crime.'

Sodomy – AKA the practice of homosexuality – was still illegal in certain parts of the world, if not in Japan proper.

Malik was a very willing and enthusiastic 'accessory.'