A/N: Fifth chapter coming at ya. R & R pleeez.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except for what I made up.

Chapter Five--

The First Changes

Athena and I always carpool from dances, so Athena's father picked us both up. When we arrived at my house, I said bye, thanked Athena's father for the ride, and went inside. I was surprised to see that Allison and Grandma were at the television watching TV and playing cards.

"Where is Mom?" I asked suspiciously. Allison looked at me and laughed.

"Didn't you know Jem?" Grandma said, "She went on a date with this man whose name slipped my mind."

"Bryson, his name was Bryson. I don't like him Jem." Allison said, "Mom doesn't need a 'companion' as Grandma calls him."

"What!" I practically yelled, "Mom would never go on a date without telling me!" I stomped my foot on the ground like a little kid.

"Jemima!" Grandma said hitting my shoulder, "Do not yell like that in front of me. And Clara called it, um, going out to dinner for work. But you know me Jem, I'm old, I talk to myself, and Allison heard me saying that it was really a date." Grandma calmly said to me.

"Never underestimate your mother, Clara would never lie to you." Grandma finished. It felt weird Grandma calling Mom Clara; when I was younger she would always call her Mom, just so she wouldn't mix Allison and me up, but as I got older and so did Allison she started calling Mom Clara, and it was different then usual.

Allison yawned, "Mom said that I could stay up until she got home. But I'm getting awful tired." Grandma patted her head.

"Marianna, you can go to bed if you wish." I stared at Allison and Grandma, as I took my place in one of the armchairs. Grandma had been getting mixed up, and calling me Clara, and Allison Marianna, the name of my aunt. What was weird was that Grandma never spoke of Tia Marianna, ever since she had died in the car crash when I was seven.

It was sad talking about them, because it was the same car crash that my father had been killed in. Here is the story:

It was Mom's birthday, and Grandma had come to visit with Marianna. Marianna had never been to our town, so Dad, Mom, and Marianna had left to show her around town. It was getting late and Grandma was getting nervous. She had sent Allison to sleep because she was only three, and it was way past her bedtime; but she let me stay up, I don't know why.

That is when we got the phone call. It was late, as far as I remember, and Grandma talked on the phone very sternly; then she got off the phone and gave me stern instructions that I haven't forgotten, "Jemima, wake up your sister and get her dressed, get out of your pajamas and go straight to the car. Do not waste time." I remember that her voice was stern, and she was on the verge of tears.

I followed her instructions without asking any questions and we got into the car. For the next twenty minutes to the hospital my head filled with questions about what was going on, and why it was happening. I don't remember the hospital, I just remember that the doctor coming and telling Grandma, "Clara Varaz is going to be fine; she just has a broken arm. But we don't have the status on the other two, they aren't doing as well."

We were in the hospital for hours and hours, and I stayed up for all of them. Allison had fallen asleep on my lap and I distinctly remember my legs going numb.

Mom stayed in the hospital for maybe three more hours then came out and told Allison and me that Dad and Tia Marianna weren't coming back and it was time to go home. Allison didn't understand. Allison kept on saying, "Daddy and Tia will come back Mommy, and then, we can have a tea party."

She didn't realize that he wasn't coming back until the wake, then the funeral, then the memorial service. The wake was scary, it was like this person that I hadn't lived with my whole life, like a wax body of what resembled my father, with makeup because of the crash.

To this day I don't know what caused the crash and why it happens, but I don't really care. It is too painful.

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Back to life. We stayed up for a while. And longer, and it was weird. I felt as if I was waiting in the hospital because Allison fell asleep on my lap. Around 11:30 Mom came home. She was smiling and laughing to herself. She came in surprised to see that nobody was in bed.

"I'm going to bed. Good-night." I walked upstairs to my room and took out my journal.

These nights scare me,

With all my might,

To look inside,

What might have happened.

I don't like it,

The way she doesn't tell,

How she thinks,

And what she does.

She scares me,

As if she is,

Over him now,

And ready for anew.

When I'm left behind.

I wouldn't call the way I write poetry. But it seems way more soothing then just writing things down in long boring sentences. I don't follow any rules in my writing, and that is important for you to know.

The new guy, Zachary, says,

That when everything changes,

You feel scared,

And aware of it.

I don't understand the way,

That Zachary thinks,

But he seems smart,

And scared at the same.

Athena isn't scared,

Just shy and feels not noticed,

As if everything is in back of her,

And in front of me.

I may be outspoken,

And kind and aware,

But my life is all scary,

And not really fair.

Eva is like,

A report card,

The first few grades,

Are happy and joyful,

But the last one is harsh,

And out of the blue.

I don't understand,

Why I'm friends with Bobbie,

He is too ahead,

Of himself and his reputation.

But Zachary, isn't,

Ahead of himself,

At all in the least,

He doesn't,

Take you by surprise,

Saying things that you,

Would never expect.

Zachary dealt,

With moving and such,

When I can barely deal,

With losing one.

Zachary lost,

Much more then me,

His friends and his home,

But he found us,

In great need for someone.

We're not used to big change,

In the least,

Where everything is gone,

But really it's there,

Where no one can relate,

And face their fate,

That things will always change,

For good and bad.