"Timber!" shouted Nymphadora Tonks as Sirius Black fell to the floor in a heap. Well, slid was a more apt description than fell, because he had been unsuccessfully trying to prop himself up against a wall when he lost his balance. With a sigh, Remus Lupin arose from his chair, crossing the room to check his friend for injury.

"Out like a candle," said Remus, with a hint of disapproval in his voice.

"Bound to happen," said Tonks. "Shall we move him up to his room or fix up a mattress for him here?"

"I think we'd better move him. If Molly wakes up and finds him like this…Well, that wouldn't be the best way to lessen her low opinion of him, anyway."

"Molly doesn't really dislike him, she just…"

"…Is a mother lion, protecting her young."

"Yeah. So d'you want to levitate him, or should I?"

"Me, I think." Remus said, pursing his lips. "I've had less to drink than you, and you are…"

"…Dead clumsy?" Tonks supplied helpfully.

Remus smiled wryly, and said, "Well, yes. It would be a shame for him to have survived twelve years in Azkaban only to be dropped down the stairs. And I don't think my nerves could handle another loss like that."

"Well, have at it, oh great 'Master of Levitation'." Tonks teased.

With a wave of his wand, Remus raised his friend into the air in front of him. "After you, chit."

"Follow me, you old wet blanket."

They deposited Sirius into bed carefully and Tonks tucked the covers around his neck. Sirius, with a half snore, half grunt, rolled onto his side and curled up into a ball.

"Cute," said Tonks with a giggle. "Just like a dog."

"While I'll admit he's always slept like that, it's been much more pronounced since he came home from prison. I imagine he did that for the warmth."

This brought Tonks a little too far into reality so she changed the subject. "So, are you going to turn in too, Remus?"

"I'm thinking I could stand a cup of tea, or some cocoa before I turn in. Besides, I ought to go back down and clean up the evidence of our debauchery. Will you join me?"

"Yeah, I guess. How about I make the tea and you straighten up the library?"

"Promise not to burn down the house?" Remus teased.

"I can't make that promise, but I will do my best," she said in her most solemn voice, winking at him.

Tonks levitated a tea tray in front of her, entering the library to find Remus near the bookshelf. She set the tray down on the piano and walked to Remus, a cup in each hand. His face was partially obstructed by the book he was replacing, but the set of his shoulders indicated worry and hopelessness.

"His drinking's getting worse, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is."

"I suppose I didn't help matters much by coming by with a bottle of gin, did I?"

He looked at her then, shaking his head in denial. "Oh, no, don't think that for a moment. This was fun, and he needed the company. Better that than drinking alone, I suppose."

"Does he? Drink alone, I mean?"

Remus only nodded.

"Do you think that Molly knows?"

"She doesn't miss much, our Molly. Yes, I'm certain she knows, and judges him harshly for it." Remus said with a grimace.

"And she already must disapprove of him for…" Tonks broke off, desperately wishing she could learn to control her mouth.

"For what, Nymphadora?"

"Nothing. Sorry. Forget I said anything. And don't call me by that ridiculous name."

"Nymphadora…" He had that stern authority figure-like tone in his voice, the one he used on the children when they were visiting for the summer.

"Remus…" she said petulantly.

He just stared at her, arms folded, one eyebrow raised, until she finally blurted out, ""Well, if you must…She disapproves of him because of…you, Remus."

"Me? I don't see…"

"Well I don't think she can be too happy that you two are living together, especially while her kids were staying at the house."

"Living together?"

"Yeah."

"I don't…" His eyes widened, and he looked away, face reddening. "Merlin's staff, I think I need another drink," he said, running his fingers through his hair. He set down the tea and approached the gin bottle, pouring two fingers into a glass and taking a large gulp. He turned back to Tonks and said, "I think that it is long past time for me to turn in." He hesitated and then added, "And for the record, it will be to my own room, on the third floor, in which I sleep alone, as I have been since the day I moved here."

"I'm sorry, Remus, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. And I don't have a problem with it, so there is no need to feel embarrassed, really! You are the best thing that ever happened to him."

Remus let out a growl of frustration and shook his head. After a deep breath, he made a sort of half bow to Tonks and said, "Goodnight, Nymphadora."

"Tonks!" she called out after him and he left the room, closing the library door just a little too hard behind him, though thankfully not hard enough to wake the sleeping portraits.

Feeling more than a little sorry that she had somehow offended him, and chalking it up to his intense desire for privacy and dignity, Tonks poured herself one last glass of gin and tonic and made her way up the stairs to her room on the second floor. After changing into an oversized tee shirt and her favorite pair of thick striped socks, she lay down on her bed and picked up the trashy novel she kept hidden underneath the mattress. She tried to concentrate, but the relentless sound of pacing above her made it rather difficult. She tried to determine, based upon her memory of the floor above her, whether it was Sirius or Remus pacing above, or whether it might not be another Order member altogether. Eventually the pacing stopped, and she lowered the intensity of the candle, climbing under the covers and placing the book on the nightstand. A soft knock prevented her from drifting off to sleep. "Come in," she called out.

The door opened and the unmistakable silhouette of a tall, lanky werewolf with severely mussed hair was revealed in the light of the hallway behind him. She sat up quickly, scrambling out of bed. "Remus! Is everything okay?"

He shut the door behind him, locking it and then tuned to brighten the flame of her candle with a wave of his hand. "No, Nymphadora, everything is not 'okay'. I am…" He took a deep breath, striding towards her. "I need to know why…why do you think that about Sirius and me?"

"I'm not the only one, Remus!" Tonks said defensively. "And there's nothing to be embarrassed about, anyway."

"I am not embarrassed, Nymphadora, I am confused, startled, and determined to get to the bottom of this. And if everyone else thinks…in any case, I am asking you. Why do you think that Sirius and I are…involved, Nymphadora?"

"I don't know, I just always assumed…well, for example, you told me tonight that he 'always sleeps that way'."

"Something I am in a unique position to know because I shared a dorm with him for seven years, don't you think?"

"Well, yes, I suppose so, but you said also that he's been 'that way' since Azkaban."

Remus rolled his eyes and shook his head. "He slept on my couch for a week last spring, Nymphadora. And do you really imagine that this is the first time that I have put him to bed drunk?"

She pursed her lips, looking at the floor at his feet. "Well no, but you two live here together! And neither of you have a girl, nor do you ever talk about girls!"

"Has it ever occurred to you that Sirius has no way of getting a 'girl?' And for that matter, neither do I."

"That's not true, Remus!"

"Which part of it?"

"Well, I realize that Sirius is in a bit of a bind…"

Remus laughed wryly. "A bit, yes."

"But you, there's no reason…"

"Other than lycanthropy…"

"That's a bunch of rubbish!"

"I think that I am in a better position to judge that than you, Nymphadora."

"Stop calling me Nymphadora!"

"And stop calling me gay!"

"You're not?"

"No, I am not." He took a step towards her, his eyes narrowing. "Breasts, Nymphadora."

"Wha...what?" It seemed like a rather abrupt change in subject to Tonks.

"Breasts. I have always had a particular fondness for them."

"You have?"

He continued in an even, pleasant tone, as if he were talking about his preferences for dinner. "Yes, I have. All shapes and sizes." His eyes dropped slowly from her face to her chest and he looked back up, just as slowly, smiling. "And silky thighs. And hips that curve, just…so."

He made a curving motion with his hand, taking another step toward her. "And the feeling of a round, soft, hairless bum cupped in my hands, and shapely legs wrapped around my waist, or thrown over my shoulders as I bury myself to the hilt in wet warmth."

"Oh, my," she said in a choked whisper.

"And painted toenails."

Once again, the abrupt change in subject threw her off balance, but she suspected that that was his intent. "What?"

"Yes, I have a high regard for painted toenails, because it means that she took the time to make them pretty, and I'd like to think she did that for me. She, Nymphadora, not he."

He took another step forward and she took a step back in reaction, halting when she found the back of her knees up against the mattress.

He continued, "I am fond of hair, too."

She stuttered, "H...hair?"

"Not body hair, but the hair on a woman's head; not that I have an aversion to body hair, mind you, but only in certain areas. Regardless, I like all sorts of hair; long, curly, straight, short, braided, pinned on top of the head or pulled back at the nape of the neck. But I must admit that I have developed rather a partiality for short hair on a woman lately, mostly because it allows a bloke to appreciate a lovely neck. To be perfectly honest, it creates a strong impulse to kiss one's way down said neck that is rather difficult to ignore. Particularly when one is sitting behind the person that is attached to that very same neck during an interminable Order meeting."

"Really?"

"Really." He reached out to brush his fingertips against a lock of her hair, and he continued, "And, strange as it may seem, I have found myself drawn to rather unusual hair colours lately. Colours such as electric blue, or fire red, or even bubble-gum pink."

"Pink?"

He took a final step closer, cupping her face with his hands. "Yes, pink. Definitely. Pink hair, pink lips, a wicked little pink tongue, and pink cheeks when you blush. It makes me wonder what other things I might enjoy on your body that are pink."

Tonks sucked in a breath in shock, her cheeks turning very, very pink indeed.

"So you see, Nymphadora Tonks, contrary to what you may believe, it is women that I prefer in general, and it is you that I prefer in particular. For some strange reason it became vitally important for me to make that perfectly clear to you. Have I made myself perfectly clear, Nymphadora?"

"Y...yes," she squeaked out, licking her lips.

"Good," he said, just before lowering his mouth to hers.

A/N: Having a very bad case of writers block with Moondance, so I thought I'd throw out this little ficlet to sort of make up for it. It was written for Kalaidescope Fur's ficathon. Please let me know what you think!

Partially inspired by a quote from Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (movie, not book), and a well known scene from Bull Durham (oh, my)