Angel Little
Chapter 22
Gwen stretched her hands over her head and yawned and then looked around at her work. The trophies gleamed impeccably and as usual her hands and arms ached. Settling back on her heels she shined the last of the glass and slid the door closed. Standing up she slowly dried her hands on the rag and then grabbed up the bucket and headed outside. "All done for the night, Mr. Filch."
"Eh? Done already?" he glared suspiciously at her and then looked past her to the trophy room. "Fine, then get back to the common room."
He turned away and began marching down the hall mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like a curse. Gwen shook her head and with a sigh turned and headed down the hall. Today was her last day of detention and she was glad of it. Her hands were covered in blisters and she was certain she'd never get the smell of the disinfectant from her clothes.
Rubbing a hand over her face she slowly removed the scarf she had wrapped around her hair and let it fall down around her shoulders. As usual it had become bothersome and for a while she had thought of cutting it short. But she couldn't imagine what Sirius would have to say if she did…still…
Yawning widely she made her way slowly along the halls heading for the common room. She was too tired to even consider taking a tour to the tower tonight. Her mind as well as her body was exhausted. Moving slowly around the corner she was rubbing her hand on the back of her neck when she became aware of her necklace.
The stone was pulsing…
Reaching inside her shirt she quickly pulled it out and stared at it. Slowly and rhythmically as a beating heart it pounded and flashed red then blue then purple and then finally green. "She here…" Suddenly she wasn't so tired. With renewed energy she ran the rest of the way to the common room her heart nearly pounding out of her chest.
When she arrived at the Fat Lady's portrait she was nearly out of breath and was in no mood to face the scowling woman. Still out of sorts with Gwen from their first meeting the Lady never looked very pleased to see her. "Password?" she asked disdainfully.
"Wolfsbane."
With a royal toss of her head and a not so royal frown the Lady opened but Gwen didn't even let her open completely before rushing inside. Looking around inside she saw that the common room looked exactly as she had left it…
But how could that be…?
"SURPRISE!"
Sirius watched as Gwen jumped. The five of them must have looked a sight holding trays full of food and their grins on their faces. They had been planning this surprise for quite a while. Between them they had managed to stash away as much treats as they could get their hands on. And though he hadn't asked how Raven had gotten Pumpkin Juice as well.
But something wasn't right. Something was wrong with Gwen. Her eyes were wide and it wasn't just surprise that was in them but fear. She was breathing roughly as if she had run all the way from the trophy room. Her hair was down, for the first time since she had come to Hogwarts, its brown locks falling forward almost covering her face.
But it was more than the fact that she looked so different. Around her neck the fairy stone she wore was glimmering in a rainbow of colors like a siren.
"Gwen… Are you okay?" Raven asked stepping forward first.
"She's… she's not here?"
"She?" Sirius found himself asking though he was pretty sure he knew who she was talking about.
"My…" she stopped as a small glimmer of green light flew in through the window and landed down in the middle of the common room floor. "Mother…"
Sirius watched in amazement as the tiny ball of light grew and stretched until a tall willowy woman stood before them. Her hair, unlike Gwen's was wheat blonde, its curls long and loose flowed down to just below her waist. Eyes as green as a spring day gazed at them from what have once been a beautiful face.
Around her neck a fairy stone almost exactly like Gwen's hung too, in the light it was shinning a strong green light. She wore a long flowing dress that was green as her eyes. It shimmered in the light and though Sirius wouldn't have liked to admit anything good about her it made her look beautiful. The sleeves were so long that they almost trailed along the floor making her hands disappear inside the sleeves.
But where Gwen may look somewhat like her mother she had not inherited the sharp line that seemed to make Carina Farr looked harsh. At one time perhaps she had been beautiful but now with the almost cruel frown between her eyes and the stress lines around her mouth she looked almost nothing like her loving daughter.
So this was Gwen's mother?
"Gwendolyn… it's past time you came home…"
Gwen stared into her mother's eyes and felt all her fears came rushing back to her. Her heart was pounding double time and she felt as if she was trapped in a nightmare. But this nightmare was real. Her mother was here and she was going to take her back. A lump formed in her throat and she found herself wanting to cry.
Somehow she found her voice though it sounded weak even to her own ears as she spoke. "Hello mother…"
"Hello? That's all you can say? Do you have any idea how worried I've been? It took me so long just to find this place and when I do finally find you… what do I find? You… with their kind."
"They are my friends."
"Friends? They are nothing but a bunch of self –serving, egotistical rogues. They care nothing for you though it is obvious that the time here has affected your mind. "
Gwen looked at her mother and could see the anger emanating from her still she found she couldn't say anything around the lump that had formed in her throat.
"I have no idea what made you come here. These people are the ones that took everything away from us. Do you not remember that, Gwendolyn? They are the reason that we have spent so many lonely nights without your father. There was a time when I too believed that they were good people. That was before I learned the truth."
Starting to pace Carina's face became more and more tense and Gwen felt herself getting angrier and angrier. "They care nothing for us. We are simply ingredients in spells they use. Spells they use to kill one another. Spells like the one that killed your father. And that is why we must stay away from them. Wizards are only kind when they want something. After that… we are useless, we are nothing… To them Gwendolyn you are nothing but a mere pest."
"No…" at first even Gwendolyn wasn't sure that it was she that had spoken. Her mother's green eyes lit on her.
"What did you say?"
Gwen felt the fear come rushing back but licking lips she tried to voice her opinion again. "I said, no…"
"You think I'm wrong? Prove it then. Would your friend…Rhonda here want to be friends with you if you didn't have something she wanted? Tell me, dear, why do you want to be Gwendolyn's friend?"
"She…"
"Leave Raven alone. Leave all of my friends alone. You know nothing about them. So don't judge them. They have been kind to me… a family to me…"
"A family? You dare call them family when you so callously disregarded the family you had simply so you could play "witch"?"
"I'm not playing. I am a witch."
"Half- witch! Also half- fairy! You do not belong here Gwendolyn… With these people and their kind. You are my daughter, a Junta fairy."
"Wasn't I papa's daughter too? This was his world. And it's my world too." Gwen faced off with her mother and her friends were forgotten although she knew that they were watching the five of them anxious to see what would happen. But it wasn't them she had to convince she wanted to stay. They knew she did. It was her mother who needed to understand. "Mother… he…"
"He left, Gwendolyn. He left us. Even when I told him he wouldn't come back. That he would die that night for people who would never think of him. He would die and just be forgotten because there were others like him… But still he left. To protect the wizards…" Carina's face grew stormy and her green eyes glittered with tears. "He left even knowing that it meant he would never see you grow and never again be with me."
"I know and I never understood it. But now I do. He left because he believed in what he was doing. His parents died the same way, protecting others to their last breath. He did what was right."
"He did what the wizards told him to do!"
Suddenly anger filled Gwen and she felt tears gathering in her own eyes. "What would you have wanted him to do? Be a coward! To stay… He couldn't do that! That was not who he was! And you know it!"
"If being a coward means that he could live another day then he should have done that. If he loved us one bit then he would have stayed!"
"Mother, he did what he believed was right."
"He didn't care about us one way or another! He cared more for the wizards then he did us! He didn't care that he would never see you again… The wizards were…"
"You can't keep blaming the wizards!" The outburst seemed to shock everyone in the room. Taking a breath Gwen tried to calm herself and continued. "They had nothing to with it. One wizard killed him. One. All of the wizards are no more guilty for Papa's death then you and I are guilty for all the nasty things that fairies are fabled to have done. Can you argue that point?"
"More wizards have caused harm then any fae have. How dare you compare your proud heritage with this…scum…"
"I dare to compare them because they really are no different then us. They have the same wants and the same needs. They live in the same world as we do and everyday they go through the same trials we do."
"They don't have to face the torture of being different and heralded a misfit and an outsider!"
"Mother, it doesn't matter where you go or who you go with, someone will always be willing to point out your differences." She sighed. "Wizard, witch or muggle, even fae and giant would rather point out that you're different then they are then ever look for the similarities and the good because people of all kinds fear what they don't understand. But what matters is that there are some good people who will give you the chance. People like my friends… And whether or not you understand it, you know that this is where I belong. Because as much as I am a fae, I am a witch."
"You are as stubborn as he was. Can't you see what they have done to you? They have corrupted you. Made you believe that you are one of them."
"I am one of them."
"NO! No… I will not lose you to them too! I will not have you desert me as your father did." Carina's eyes were suddenly gleaming as tears ran down her face. "No… Gwendolyn Dacha Gene Epiphysis Farr, you are coming home with me. And that is that…"
"No, that's not that! I am staying!"
SLAP!
Staggering back Gwen stared at her mother for a silent moment as everyone else froze. For a moment, it seemed that no one could move and then Sirius moved as if he were going to strike Gwen's mother. But she stopped him by holding out her hand. For a moment he just looked at her a silent rage reflecting ion his eyes… and then he stepped back his eyes still on her.
"Gwendolyn, I…" Carina looked as if she was going to apologize and then a hard look crossed her face and once again she was wrapped in her pride. "You see what happens when you don't listen to me. I would never have hit you if you hadn't been disrespectful."
"You're the one who's not listening, mother."
"I have been listening all too well, Gwendolyn… but nothing you have said has changed my mind about their kind."
Gwen sighed. "And nothing I ever say or anyone ever says, for that matter, will change it. You just don't understand…" Tears filled Gwen's eyes but she fought to keep eye contact with her mother. "And I need you to understand…"
She turned and looked at her friends even as the tears streaked down her face. She had to try even if her mother took her away in the end she needed to try and make her understand. Gwendolyn would have nodded yes the moment her mother had walked in and maybe Gwendolyn would already be gone a distant speck on the horizon. But most certainly she would not be here one cheek marred by the still red bruise of a hand… But Gwen… Gwen was a whole other story…
"I do not know what made me come here. I was terrified at the very thought of coming here. Terrified… but eager… Papa had told me so many stories before he died. I don't remember all of them; I was too young to. But I remember sitting by the fireplace and he'd sit in his chair and he would smoke his pipe… and he'd talk. He'd tell me about this castle, how huge and intimidating it was and how beautiful. He told me about his friends, the ones he knew well and the ones that he hadn't known so well but remembered. He told me about Professors Dumbledore and Flitwick and Madam Pomfrey and… and so many that barely remember their names… He told me everything he remembered about this place… But it was what he always say every night before I went to bed that I remember most… 'Gwen, I hope one day you can go there… I want you to see what I did and more… I want you to have more than I did… Because…' "
" ' You deserve the best, because you are the best thing that has ever happen to me…' I know what he said. He said the same thing every night, right before he left and I was always unsure if he would come home. Then I had that vision and I told him. Gwendolyn, I told him, 'You're not coming back. If you step out that door you're not coming back. He'll kill you.' But he went anyway. And you know what he said to me? It made absolutely no sense. 'Then I'll make them proud.' And off he went to save his wizards."
Gwen looked at her mother for a moment and then shook her head. "Didn't you know…? His parents died in the line of duty…" Shock emanated from Carina's eyes and Gwen frowned slightly. "He never told you…? They died protecting people…like he did. And he made a promise to himself. He would protect people… like you and me. So we could live how we choose. And he promised himself that if he died… he would die for those very same people."
Gwen hesitated. Her mother seemed too shocked to say anything but she was almost afraid to push it. She could make her mother see but… it was so…hard?
Life is hard. Life will always be hard. The thing is… You have to learn to face it. You have to learn to put down your foot and say for once, "This is my choice. This is my life."
Sirius' words rang through her head and she turned to look at him a moment. His silver eyes were watching her intently as if waiting… Turning back she faced her mother. "All my life I lived secluded. Away from wizards, away from muggles… In a world you created to heal your broken heart... In a world I never wanted to be in. I may be different then my friends, but those differences don't matter. Because I've come to learn here that at heart we're all the same. But what sets us apart is our choices. Which makes my next choice the hardest of all... I love you mama, but this place is a part of me. It's the missing piece that I never knew existed. Which is why I choose this… This is my life… my choice…please... understand..."
Her last words were almost small and hesitant but she waited with dread that filled her heart. Still frozen with shock Carina seemed at lost for words but Gwen knew what she said would not be taken easily. Standing tall she looked at her mother and waited. She waited for the blast of anger, for the flood gates her decision would surely open. She waited to be told that she couldn't make that choice because it wasn't hers to make. She waited for all that and more. Alone.
Then Sirius' hand was warmly enclosed around hers and she looked at him in surprise. For a moment she had completely forgotten he was even there. His silver eyes twinkled down into hers and she found herself smiling in return.
Then on her other side Raven placed her hand softly on her shoulder. Hazel eyes glimmered into hers as Raven squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. Behind her Remus, Lily and James stood each of them smiling and supporting her in her decision.
From across the room Carina Farr watched this as if she were some outside viewer. She watched her daughter's face usually so sad or filled with no emotion at all suddenly flood with happiness. The Gwendolyn she knew had never smiled like that, not since she was a little girl and Gideon had been alive…
Then Gwendolyn looked at her and the happiness seemed to dim and change. Apprehensively she gazed at her mother with wide chocolate eyes… Eyes like Gideon… For a moment she saw Gideon looking at her his kind eyes shinning with laughter… his eyes looking at her for forgiveness as he had walked out that door that last night…
"Carina… Please understand. It is my world and as much as I love you… I made myself a promise a long timebefore you and I had ever met. Long before…"
"So break the promise!" she had yelled at him, tears she hadn't even known were there streaming down her face. "Save yourself! Because if you go tonight he'll kill you! I saw it! He'll kill you…"
"Rina, every night I go there's a chance…"
"But this time it's not just a chance! He'll kill you! Don't go… please Gideon… I can't raise Gwendolyn alone… I can't… I can't go on without you… I love you, please, don't go…?"
For a moment he had wavered his eyes uncertain and then he looked at her sadly. "Rina, could you really love a coward?"
"Yes…"She had said the word immediately and all too quickly.
"If I stay… Rina, it's not who I am… And you… I love you so much… but I have to go. You don't understand and… I need you to understand." He reached out his hand and ran it down the side of her face cupping her cheek and tilting her chin so she looked up into his eyes. Eyes the color of chocolate as deep and wide as the ocean and infinitely beautiful…
Eyes that now glimmered from Gwendolyn's face and begged her to understand, as she had not all those years ago. After Gideon had made her look up into his eyes she had torn herself away ands felt her heart splitting in two silently. She had refused to say good-bye to him. Had even refused to look at him at all. But when she had heard him walking into the Gwendolyn's room and heard him sit down on their daughter's bed. She heard his deep voice and she heard Gwen's high and quiet voice.
The tears had come again but even when Gideon had murmured he was leaving she hadn't looked up… And then he was gone… Never again to be seen. She had refused to let him do what she knew he had to do… Could she really do that to her daughter…? And what if Gwendolyn never returned and she… she was left alone? Again…?
Inside she felt a small part of her heart warming and melting and then slowly breaking, as she had never allowed it to before. Then again… how could she not? How could she keep her daughter from a place that was part of her…?
Gwendolyn was so much her father's daughter. She had not only his looks and kind soul… but also his loving heart. And she belonged here in this world as much as if she had been born a pure blood witch. How could she have not seen it? She could no more take Gwendolyn away from this place then tear out her own heart. Because it was a part of her…
"Gwendolyn… You are…truly your father's daughter…" Carina felt a part of her heart again splitting. "But I shall expect you to return home as soon as the school year is done."
"I… You mean…I can stay?"
"Well,until the end of the year. No point in making Dumbledore waste time on searching for a lost student when you could make things easier on him. Hogwarts doesn't need a dose of Fae magic. At least, no more than it already has… that is… I'll return for you at the Hogsmeade Station on the last day." She nodded curtly to the others behind Gwen and then her eyes went to Sirius and Gwen's entwined hands. "You… You must be that boy… Sirius Black, yes?"
Sirius stood straighter as she looked directly at him, her eyes and that made her frown almost glaringly. "Yes ma'am."
"Mr. Black… Take good care of my daughter…or else…"
"Yes ma'am…" he said and smiled as she nodded quietly to him a small smile twitching onto her lips. She looked at her daughter sideways and smiled fully. "I like him."
Turning she moved to the windowsill which no one had noticed was open. With a fling of her arm she was shrinking and her wings growing. Then she was a tiny fairy and in a zing of fairy dust she flew out the window and out into the night. Gwen rushed to the window and watched her fly. Like a shooting star, green against the black horizon, she disappeared into the night…
And Gwen finally felt…at peace. Turning back she saw her friends staring at her. And she felt at a loss for words. She was just so happy… she had done it. She had finally done it!
Raven smiled "Hey...The foodsgetting cold... come on!I'm starving… Let's eat…"
Gwen smiled and then she laughed. She couldn't help it. She was finally… free to make her own life. Turning one last time she looked up at the stars and then she closed the window. Moving to Sirius side she took his hand and they headed back to the couches where the food had lain forgotten…
Life's hard… but sometimes… you really can win…
A/N: Well, there you have it... I suppose that's about all there is to Gwen's story. Still I can't help but think more should happen... What do you think? Should Gwen face even more trouble before the year ends? Or should everthing be smooth sailing? I want to know. Because I had some ideas but I wasn't sure I should add them or not... Tell me what you think and once again thanks for all the support and reviews!