Lost

It's been two weeks since Meredith's fall...and her miscarriage and there is still no difference. The cause of this un named illness was the fact that Meredith had been Pregnant and drinking, and also not eating well. Because her child was taking most of what Meredith was eating and there wasn't much food being consumed, the baby wasn't getting enough. Then you have to add the symptoms of being pregnant and multiply it by ten because of the drinking factor.

All of Meredith's friends are very distraught, especially McDreamy. He cannot believe that Meredith didn't tell him. I mean, he obviously new the baby was his, they had just ended their relationship. Then there was Addison. He knew she was very upset about this. But what was he to do? He couldn't ask Meredith about this.

Derek was sitting in the corner of Meredith's room. He wasn't scheduled for a surgery until 12:00 in the afternoon and it was only 11:30. He didn't want to face Addison when he found out about the baby so he stayed here in this very room for the past two weeks. His marriage is failing and he seriously doesn't care anymore. He just wants it all to end. He wants to start fresh. But he's not so sure Meredith will be so willing to take him back. He knows it was a jackass of a thing to do; not telling her about Addison. He knows how much pain he's caused her and that it was somewhat his fault she's been reduced to this weakened state.

"Dr. Shepherd?" It was Christina, she usually comes to see Meredith at this time.

"Mm?" He replies. His head is back and his eyes are closed.

"I'll stay here, go get something to eat, you look like shit."

Derek gets up to leave looking at Meredith and then at Christina with this pleading look on his face,

"I'll page you if I see even the slightest eye flutter." She reassures him the best way she can, she's not good with showing emotion. Frankly, this is killing her inside, but she knows she has to be the rock. Because who will? Derek thanks her and leaves the room, setting out to get something to revive him. He is worn out from staying up all night. He doesn't wont to miss one moment just in case Meredith wakes up.

Christina takes the chair next to Meredith. Christina could almost say she looks worse then Meredith. She hasn't slept well at all throughout this whole ordeal, she feels completely helpless. Burke is doing all he can to comfort her but all she wants is to be left alone, to show no emotion at all. She does though, when she's all alone in a on-call room she lets it out, a little bit at a time. Christina lets the tears fall; how unlike her.

Meredith's face is very pale and looks lifeless. There are tubes sticking out of her arms. One is her feeding tube, since Meredith is unable to feed herself. Meredith is also very skinny, despite the food being put into her three times a day. Christina guesses Meredith had been off food for quite sometime. But, she doesn't think she did it deliberately. Meredith new she'd throw up if she ate so she didn't. Christina also knows for a fact that Meredith knew nothing of her Pregnancy.

"If you knew you were pregnant, you wouldn't have drunken so much." Christina tells Meredith, but of course, Meredith heard nothing.

"Your right," Izzie said, coming into the room and pulling up a chair. Izzie's hair is up in a messy bun instead of a perfect pony tale. There are dark rings under her eyes. Like everyone else, she hasn't slept for days. Meredith's house is so sparkly clean you could eat off every surface. And the fridge, it's filled with all sorts of chocolate pastries. "They are for Meredith," Izzie would say when George looks at her with such questioning.

"And she would have told us, or at least you, she tells you everything..." Izzie brakes the silence. Christina nods.

"She couldn't even save herself."

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"How far along was she?" Addison demanded, walking into the elevator before it shut. Derek was quiet for a long time before answering,

"Almost a month..." Derek confesses. He is a total mess over Meredith and he can tell it's pissing Addison off in the worst way possible.

"I cannot believe this!" Addison screams in total frustration, "How could you Derek?"

Derek can't hold it in any longer, "how could I? You have the nerve to point the finger at me?" Derek yells at her, his voice getting louder as he went along. "You are the one who has ruined our marriage!"

Addison is speechless. For once in her life she finally understandsDerek has fallen out of love for her. When he is home he just sits there in a daze. She doesn't know what to do about him. What will she do know? Go back to Manhattan?

By now Derek as turned his back to her, he's had enough. He no longer wants to stay in this elevator with her. His arms are folded and he's tapping his fingers impatiently as he wait's for the elevator to open and set him free.

"Derek." Addison pleads.

"No..." Derek says, not looking back at her. It was like he could sense the tears streaming from her eyes but he did not comfort her. He wasn't going to feel sorry for her anymore. He wasn't to blame for this, she had walked out on him a long time ago when he caught her in bed with his best friend. No, this was over. Finally, after seeming like he was waiting an eternity for that god damn door to open, it did. He stepped out and headed to the OR for his scheduled surgery.

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George was sitting down for lunch, everyone else, minus Meredith was sitting with him. They all seemed to be in a state of semiconsciousness. All were thinking about the same person. She got pregnant...and she didn't know it, I wonder what she would have done about it if she had known... George wonders to himself. He loves Meredith, but she's in love with someone else. How does she deal with it? She's in love with a married man and was a complete mess underneath but no one knew just how bad it was. He wished he could have done something about it, but somehow he knew it wouldn't help coming from him, because he is invisible to her.

Bailey seems to be just as upset as the rest of them. She's gotten to attached to her interns. She's not as hard on the others as she usually is. She warned Meredith about having a relationship with Derek and this is were it brought her. No one ever listens to her.

Bailey walks into Meredith's room just to check up on her. Still no sign of consciousness. She must have been sick for quite sometime to be like this for two weeks now, Baily thinks to herself, looking at Meredith one more time before finding the others so she can give her orders.

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Two more days have passed and still nothing. When will this sadness ever end. Meredith's mother has been asking about her. Meredith would be very happy to hear that. Ellis is distraught about the whole thing and wont even leave her room. Sadly she forgets about it in a matter of thirty minutes and goes back to her normal activities. But sometimes it all comes back to her and she's right back to where she started. She needs her daughters company, even if she never really knows who she is.

Addison is finishing up with her last patient. Her patient has also gone through a miscarriage. It'll be a long winding road of emotional recovery for her. Addison pats her on the shoulder reassuringly and leaves the room to get ready to go home and pack. She's leaving for Manhattan tonight. Derek wants her out of the trailer as soon as possible. She's not going to stay, she doesn't think she could stand seeing Meredith and Derek, whether they get together or not. She can't stand to see his face when he looks at Meredith in that way he used to with her. She feels like she was never enough for him. He always put his job first. He was never home and she needed the comfort she knew she wasn't going to get from him. So she found someone else to give it to her. And now she's receiving the consequences. Karma works in mysterious ways.

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Derek is back in his place at Meredith's side. Addison left and hour ago and all he cares about is Meredith's recovery. Why isn't she awake yet? He asks himself for the hundredth time today.

"I need you." He whispers, running his hand through her hair. What he doesn't know is that she needs him more then he will ever know. A tear slips down the bridge of his nose. And as if in slow motion, the tear drips down and falls slowly, splashing on Meredith's hand.The tear spreads out over the curves of her hand.

Feeling the cold sensation, Meredith's finger twitches, and her eyes seem to search around under her eye lids before they flutter open. Derek, seeing this miraculous sight, stands up and gathers her into a bone crushing hug, crying all the while.

Meredith's lips part as if to say something. Derek sits back down and smooths out her hair, looking at her with that famous look of his. Meredith manages to speak but very weakly, barily audible,

"I feel...lost."

She has awakened. Please tell me what you think, it'll help me think of a sixth chapter.