Empty
"Lost?"
Meredith just looks at him, Wondering how long she's been here. It feels like she had just fallen yesterday, but that is simply not the case.
"What do you mean lost?" Derek asks, leaning in closer. Her hand is now in his and he's massaging her knuckles.
"I didn't know how else to...drown my pain..so I drank, and I don't know why it made me so sick, I mean, I know I wasn't eating much but I wasn't feeling well. I didn't want to take time away from my job because everyone expects me t-"
"No one expects you to fill your mothers shoes," Derek says, finishing her sentence for her.
"How long have I been sleeping?" Meredith asks, closing her eyes.
"...we'll talk about it later." Derek says, shushing her. " Right now I think everyone's going to want to know about this." He jesters to her, about her now being awake. "Do you want anything?"
Meredith nods her head, "my head hurts."
"I'll be right back."
Derek kisses her temple and leaves the room to get her something for her headache. He wonders why Meredith hadn't said anything about the baby. She talked as if nothing was going on, only the fact that she made herself sick. How odd... he wonders. He first stops at the nurses station seeing as the group is usually there at this time. He can't help but smile as he walks up to them.
"What's with that smirk on your face?" George asks, spinning around in the chair to look at Derek. Izzie studies Derek for a moment before speeding off down the hall towards Meredith's room. George follows her with his eyes, and seeing the direction of witch she is going he leaps up from his chair to follow her. Christina hits Derek on the arm happy to hear her friend is awake to the world and starts walking. Derek walks down the hall punching in the numbers to Bailey's pager as he goes.
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Everyone is gathered around Meredith. George, Izzie, Christina, Alex, McDreamy, even Burke and Bailey. They are all just so happy to see this great intern back in reality.
"How are you feeling?" Izzie asked, looking at Meredith with both concern and happiness.
"My head still hurts, and why am I wearing a head bandage?" Meredith asks, reaching up expecting to smooth down her hair. Everyone looks at her and then around at each other. Derek decides to stay quiet. Meredith crosses her arms.
"When you fell you cut your head open...Just a little!" Christina says, seeing the look on Meredith's face. "And we had to shave around it and stitch it up..."
"Sh...shave?" They all nodded. Meredith looked down. Her beautiful hair...
"We've missed you." George puts in, sifting imaginary sand with his feet.
"I haven't been asleep that long...have I?" no one answers. Meredith senses the uneasiness in the room. "Will someone just tell me, I wont freak out, I mean, it hasn't been that long."
"Two weeks and two and a half days." Derek answers her request. Meredith goes silent.
"You haven't missed much, just a women who miscarried twins." Alex says, thinking it was nice to fill her in a little. Izzie slaps him hard upside the head, "what did I say?" he asks, rubbing the back of his head. Meredith just smiles at the offer, thinking nothing of it. Meredith feels like they are all keeping something from her, but not Derek, he has this look on his face that tells her that there is something he wants to know, but she has nothing to tell.
"Miranda...Everyone?" The chief walks in looking for Bailey, not expecting to see everyone who should be with patients or in surgery, standing around Meredith. But then he notices her consciousness and smiles.
"Good to have you back Grey." He says, placing a hand on her shoulder, "hope to see you back to work. Everyone else? I know this is a bittersweet moment for you all but you have patients waiting." Everyone drops their heads, mumble "goodbyes" and "feel betters" and leave to continue there duties. Derek stays behind.
He sits in a chair next to Meredith. He wants to touch her, kiss her, anything just to be near her. But he knows she's still angry with him.. He wants to bombardon her with questions about this baby she was going to have. Like how long had she known and was she going to tell him? Or more importantly, was she going to keep it. He wonders if he should tell her about the miscarriage. He shakes his head, she needs time to get better.
"What are you shaking your head for?" Meredith asks, looking at him from the corner of her eye. She's happy to see him, have him so close to her. She misses his warm comforting touch, his sent...everything about him she has missed. But at the same time she is still very angry with him about Addison. where is Addison anyway? She asks herself, closing her eyes and dropping her head to the side. Everything goes silent.
"I just cannot believe your awake, I missed you." Derek says, giving her hand a squeeze. She knows he's lying so she asks him what she thinks he's not talking about.
"Where's Addison?"
Derek sighs. Somehow he knew she was going to ask that. "She left..a few hours ago..." He finally responds. Meredith looks at him questioningly, like he isn't telling the whole truth of the story. "...For Manhattan." Meredith nods, not quite understanding Addison's reasons for leaving, not that she knew them. Was she gone for good? Were they getting a divorce? She wanted to know, and she wanted to ask these questions but she felt to tired.
"I've been asleep for two weeks..."
"And two and a half days." Derek adds.
"And you'd think I had enough sleep, but I feel my eyelids over powering my will to stay awake." She closes her eyes. Taking that as his cue to leave, he kissees her hand, gives it a squeeze and leaves her to rest.
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As Meredith slept she dreamed. She dreamed of all the two weeks she'd been asleep. She had heard what everyone had said. McDreamy had been in room with her more then the others. He actually never said anything to her. He just sat their quietly. The only thing she remembered him saying before she felt his tear on her hand, was that he needed her. Thinking about that now makes her happy and sad at the same time. George was with her too. She remembered him sitting right here, by her side. He was holding her hand. She remembers feeling the warmth of his hand on hers. And how sad he seemed to be. didn't really say much, at a loss for words like everyone else who came t see her. All he had said was when he asked her what she had gotten herself into. Then there was Izzie. She was rambling on and on about how she wished she could have helped her, but she didn't know how sick she really was.
Christina had come in a number of times. She could tell it was her by the uncomfortableness in the air. She remembers Christina talking to someone, she thinks it was Derek. Christina was telling Derek to go get something to eat. Like he hadn't been, like he'd been here at her side for a long time. And he must of left because she only felt the presence of Christina. There were muffled sounds coming from her, like she was crying. Then Meredith heard bits and pieces of what she was saying, Meredith was slipping in and out of consciousness at the time. Christina was saying something about if she knew, if Meredith knew, about...something, Meredith didn't hear what Christina had said, but that if she knew about it, then she wouldn't have drunken so much. Knew about what?
Meredith woke up a few hours later to a dark and empty room. Everyone was tired and went home. They'd see her in the morning. Now that she was alone and awake she could contemplate. What did Christina mean? Was this the same information everyone seems to be hiding from her? Meredith lied down a little deeper into the covers and stared at the ceiling. No wonder patients are always sleeping when you walk in, it's such a plan looking room, Meredith thinks to herself, continuing to start upwards.
A tear rolls down Meredith's cheek. An odd feeling of emptiness washes over her like a wave over beach sand. It's like something was there and now it's left her. She's feeling as if a part of her is gone...
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The next morning Meredith Awoke to a fuzzy black haired head resting on her lap. It was McDreamy. Meredith pulled her hand out from under the covers and ruffled his hair. He stirred, mumbled something and then popped his head up to see Meredith smiling at him trying to hide the odd feeling she's been having. He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and sat up in his chair.
"I am feeling much better, can I go back to work?" Meredith asks looking at him with puppy dog eyes.
"I have already looked into it.," Derek says with a smile.
"When?" Meredith asks. She's tired of being in this room. She misses the busy atmosphere of Seattle Grace.
"Today."
"For real?" Meredith asks sitting up in her bed.
"For real." Meredith starts to pull the covers of herself but Derek stops her. "First we have to see if you can eat on your own without throwing up, just to make sure your completely better." Meredith crossed her arms in defeat.
Half an hour later after telling Derek what she wanted to eat, a nurse came in to give it to her and make sure she eats it. Derek had a surgery so he couldn't be there.
"Can you please not watch me." Meredith stated.
"I have to Dr. Grey, orders."
"Well can't you make an exception? I promise I'll eat it, I'm hungry anyway."
"For you I will." the nurse said with a smile and exited the room. Meredith looked down at her plate. It consisted of a turkey sandwich, chips, and a glass of milk. She had to admit she was a little afraid, afraid of throwing up, or getting dizzy. She doesn't want to go back to that again. She slowly picks up the sandwich and brings it to her mouth. She can smell the turkey, and surprisingly, it doesn't make her nauseous. She takes a bite and chews it slowly. She swallows, waits a few seconds and continues to eat the whole thing. Completely happy that she can eat in peace, Meredith eats most of the chips and drinks down her milk. She begins to laugh and cry at the same time. So happy that she is no longer ill. The nurse, hearing the commotion in the room, pokes her head in,
"What's the matter Dr, Grey?"
"I'm not sick anymore!"
I made this two pages longer the usual...then again it was doubled spaced to fit on fanfic, but still. It's longer. Plus this is the second chapter I've given you today. Are you loving me now?