Autumn's Wish
By MoonShadow Angel
Chapter Five: Everytime We Touch
:Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII or any of Squaresoft/ Square-Enix's characters.
It was one of those times, just like earlier today, when they were in the amusement park; everyone, including her, was doing something else…thinking of the next thing to do, expecting the next situation to happen. All the while, Squall was in the background, observing her blend in perfectly with everything around her…
She does it so naturally…it amazes him.
"I can't believe it…" Rinoa patted Angelo's back, the puppy resting on her lap. The awkward silence has grown soft; it should be—failure to gracefully conclude their first kiss wasn't their fault. "You still have her."
She, then, smiled to herself. Squall happily lifted his eyes to nowhere.
The rain outside still poured, but unlike other people, Rinoa found it quite soothing, staring at the streets below while she sat on the window sill. She was getting used to Squall, lapsing time and not talking at all. She felt that she knew him better when silence enveloped around them—it was his own manner of showing who his true self was; a manner of expressing what 'comfort' was for him. Beaming, Rinoa took her eyes away from the slowly darkening city. She gave Squall a look.
"What are you thinking?" She casually asked, receiving his full attention. When seconds passed with them still quietly watching each other, Rinoa decided to try again, "What do you have in mind?"
In his spot on the wall, Squall thought. He was hesitating, sensing that usual uncertainty when the spotlight directly hits his face. But knowing Rinoa, he knew deep inside that she meant no harm…She just simply wanted to know.
"About today…" Squall almost left it to that, but in the end, felt that he had to give more, "and the days before…"
Rinoa looked down to Angelo, caressing the little, well-behaved hound under the chin, "Did you have fun?"
"…Yes, I did."
"I'm happy. It was my first time to go there."
It was an effort, both of them knew. They were still in the process of discovering what was truly between them; albeit one thing was plain and clear—they enjoyed each other's company. Squall knew this all along, but was trying to rationalize the fact so hard that it clouded his reasons. Rinoa, on the other hand, was busy loving the companionship that she didn't have time to name the feeling itself. They both had the missing pieces to each other's puzzle; much to the irony of their condition…
They needed each other…that's what this is all about.
"Your first time to Gold Saucer?" Squall thought that it was funny, the impossibility striking him. He flashed a small, boyish grin, "You gotta be playing with me."
"No!" Rinoa exclaimed, so loud that Angelo was shaken from her rest. She cleared her throat, attempting to recompose, "What I mean is that…No." she cupped her chin, "Now thinking of it…I must have been crazy enough not to go…I mean, a whole year of stay in Esthar and not going?"
"You must have been very busy." Squall could imagine, being a diligent athlete himself. He'd seen Rinoa on stage, which he found also, required as much effort as Blitzball. "I've…watched you perform. You were…wonderful."
Rinoa didn't know what to say. That, coming from him, felt different. She did love people appreciating her job on the stage, but the thought of Squall watching…it was an entirely different story. "T-thanks. I try to…"
And her celphone chose to ring now, of all times. The two of them darted a glance to the annoying purse on top of the counter; Rinoa reluctantly stood up to get it.
"Hello? Oh, hi Quisty!" Squall listened from the wall, watching Rinoa lean on the counter with Angelo tucked in her other arm. "Um yeah, I did." Her voice became lower, and Squall could imagine her face getting pink. "Exactly..." She sighed.
"I see." Rinoa nodded, twirling around to meet Squall's gaze. Her little face looked a tiny bit disappointed, which for some reason infected him too. It didn't take long when she finally said 'good-bye' and shut the phone off.
Pushing himself off the wall, Squall picked the forgotten mug on the floor, buying her some time to put her thoughts into words. If you would ask him, her stay was quite short; not that he wanted her to sleep with him tonight. He just felt that being with her made him…at ease, and that comfort was being taken away so abruptly.
Studying him as he straightened up, Rinoa took the initiative to break the silence, "I think I better get going now." She let Angelo go, pulling her purse from the high counter afterwards, "Quistis figured out why I left calls on her phone…" she laughed sheepishly, "It's not the first time, I'm afraid."
"Quistis? Trepe, Quistis?" Squall questioned, as if he'd heard that name before. He tossed the mug from one hand to another, appearing to be thinking, "First freshman to win a seat in the CSC?"
Rinoa broke into a proud smile. She always felt pleased when it came to Quistis' accomplishments. "The one and only! And this year, she's the PRO!"
Squall pressed his lips together, nodding, "She cares about you a lot. I can see…A friend?"
"More of a sister, actually. You know, Quistis and Selphie have been taking good care of me since we were kids. My Dad died when I was young, so my Mom had to take double shifts to pay for hospital bills and was often away...I was very sickly as a child, so you could just imagine how much she had to work for." Rinoa dropped her phone inside the purse, naturally tapping her hair in place. It was a fleeting topic for her, something she'd grown accustomed with, telling it to anyone who asked.
"I don't blame her for being away though…I know my Mom loves me very much." She was about to smile, until she realized that a frown threatened to dominate Squall's features.
Squall did think differently. He knew that he shouldn't have asked that much. It was a personal question—not his business to deal with. Whatever the impact it had on Rinoa, he wasn't sure, but if the same question was asked to him, he'd certainly be not comfortable in answering it. "I'm sorry…I didn't know."
"Don't be!" Rinoa waved her hands, shaking her head, "Those were beautiful memories. I look back at them every once in a while."
"Still, I shouldn't have—" Squall interrupted himself, irately sighing as he mentally cursed. He went over to the kitchen as an escape, placing the mug on the sink. That was silly; he was not ready for this kind of thing. It was all too sudden for him! He slammed his palms over the counter, Rinoa stepping in the room.
"Squall, believe me, it's alright." Rinoa gradually stopped, the cold tiles hitting her bare soles. She got him confused again, that being obvious even on his tensed back. He was trying, struggling, transforming himself and thinking that it was a better him; but Rinoa thought otherwise. She liked the reserved Squall…the real him. That was the Squall who attracted her in the first place, right? And that would also be the same person she'd try to preserve no matter what.
Reaching for his hand, Rinoa preciously claimed it with both of hers, stroking his knuckles gently. She felt Squall stiffen under her touch, a sign that she caught him off guard; he'd listen this way, "Things like that, no matter how sad they may seem, must be treasured. They've made me stronger, and also wiser, by realizing how lucky I am to have such wonderful friends."
Squall peripherally wandered his eyes on their hands. He still felt embarrassed about his spontaneous attempt to open up, but with Rinoa touching him this way, he somehow felt relieved, less humiliated—forgiven.
"Just like today, I've had a wonderful memory of you. I'm so happy." Rinoa examined his hand, admiring its masculine structure and size. It felt so warm and securing, in contrast to its rugged look; callous from Blitzball, perhaps. "No matter what happens in the future…no matter what will become of us, I will always remember. I will always remember how happy I was on my first trip to Gold Saucer…"
She turned his hand around, cautiously opening his palm. "That feeling will never change…ever."
"Rinoa…" Squall saw her through his bangs. His heart felt as though it would melt, an invisible barrier splotching away as a feeling of warmth spread through his entire being. You're so beautiful, he thought, picturing her in a million scenarios; and all of them with him by her side. This must be it. This must be the emotion that I've been looking for so long…
Slowly, he moved. He just had to hold her…he never wanted anything this much before.
"I don't know what this is…" Squall hoarsely admitted, tracing her cheek with the tips of his fingers, "I don't understand…why do I feel this way?" He gently pulled her close, cradling her in his arms.
Rinoa leaned close enough to hear his heart beating; she smiled, "I feel the same way…"
Squall drew her waist nearer, "Always…be…here for me."
"I will." And that made him sigh with great comfort.
"Thank you, Rinoa." He whispered to her ear, before shifting his chin on top of her head, "Thank you…"
Squall still drove her home, ears closed to her suggestion that an umbrella was all she needed.
After he hugged her, she embraced him back, placing her small arms around his waist as tight as she could. Squall never felt that heart-jumping response before…not even with the girls he thought he had feelings with. The sensation Rinoa gave him was much more…much complex…he didn't let go of her for a long time. He wanted to stay like that forever, with her strawberries and cream scent overriding his senses, and her breathing warming his chest. It was such a magical feeling…a euphoria that one would like to bask into as much as they can.
"My Dad?" Squall repeated, the words tasting very odd in his own mouth. Rinoa was talking about jobs earlier, which ended up, just as ODDLY, with FATHERS. What they have in common, he didn't know, and whatever it is, Squall despised it.
"My Dad used to be a General in the Galbadian Army. I don't know him that well, since he passed away when I was young." Rinoa held Squall by the hand, the two of them climbing up the stairs instead of using the elevator. Wanna know why? Go figure. So anyway, she continued dreamily, "But even if that's the case, I remember him vividly as a sweet, loving Daddy. He used to call me 'Princess', you know."
Seeing Rinoa smile, Squall wanted to hear more, curious about this man who obviously had a special place in her heart. His relations with his father, he never really cared about; so with her talking about this topic, it felt new to him…like hearing a certain fact for the first time.
She didn't have to think twice.
"When I was five years old…I remember, it was my birthday, and my Dad brought me and my Mom to a newly opened Planetarium. Since we lived in Winhill, not many attractions like that were built everyday, which made me even more excited." Rinoa gushed, the memories clearly overflowing from her heart. Her eyes even sparkled. "When we came inside, I was so happy I wanted to go everywhere! I dragged Mom and Dad to whichever crossed my sight first! You won't believe how pushy I was!"
Squall laughed; he was a VICTIM himself.
"But among all those exhibit rooms…I find one of them the most special…" They finally reached her floor, strolling down until they were in front of her door. She looked up at him; their hands still intertwined, "They call it Cosmo Canyon…a stellar display. It was a dark room inside, but once you step in and the ride starts…stars would just pop up and surround you—" she gestured her free hand like something burst open, "everywhere! Like somebody threw a handful of glitters at you!"
"You must have been very amazed…" Squall slid his hands up, now holding her arms. He touched her face with the back of his fingers, not ever gonna be tired of doing it over and over again. Rinoa, too enthralled with her thoughts, didn't realize what he was doing, until his lips were already descending down to capture hers. She gave out a small sigh…they're about to kiss again…
"AHHHH!" two freakish voices screamed, making Rinoa swing in surprise that she knocked Squall with her forehead. BAM! NOT the nose!
"Holy Mother of…" Squall held his injured 'snout', shaking his head while his eyes turned watery all of a sudden. Damn it! What a hard head Rinoa has!
"Would you guys take that somewhere else?" Rinoa reddened; a horrified Selphie scolding while dressed in a robe and her hair in a mess with rollers. If only the case was different, Rinoa would have laughed at her resemblance to a Mom who just caught her daughter kissing on the first date!
"That—" she pertained to the hallway behind them, "is public properly! Rule number twenty-seven in the Pink Bible says—"
"Oh cut the crap out, Selphie, we've already been caught!" Quistis pushed her eyeglasses back, very embarrassed to admit that she had something to do with Selphie's idea of SPYING. "Anyway…I must apologize. We destroyed the…" her eyes widened, bulging at the sight of something red on Squall's face, "OHMIHYNE!"
Rinoa turned to her sight's direction, finding Squall's nose at the end of the exact X & Y coordinates provided. "Squall! Blood!" She attempted to take Squall's hand off, but the guy took a step back in hope of lessening the entire humiliating scheme that he was already in.
"I'm fine, Rin!"
"NO! Let me have a look!"
"Don't—"
"Take your hand off!"
"Rin—" Squall was defeated, moaning as the little girl stubbornly yanked his hand away. She held his head firmly on both cheeks, preventing him from turning away. He couldn't do anything but groan.
"Lemme have a look…" She whispered again, staring at his lips. Quistis and Selphie decided that it has gone all too mushy, turning away before closing the door behind them. Squall gazed down to the beautiful angel who had just broken his nose…but not on purpose, though. He smiled at her, realizing what she was planning to do.
"You better make this worthwhile…" he mocked with a hoarse coax, watching Rinoa close her eyes and seductively breached the gap between them. "…after you broke my nose."
Her head's direction immediately changed, her lips planting a kiss on his cheek instead, "MWAH!"
Squall eyes completely fluttered open, "What the—"
"Good night, Squall!" But she was already behind the door, snickering. "See you tomorrow!"
"Rinoa!"
"Hope your nose gets well too! TATA!"
She slammed the door close, laughing loud enough for Squall to hear from the other side of the door.
Sunday—Blitzball practice.
With the Regionals coming up, the Warlords have extended practices from the usual after school plus Saturdays to after school plus Saturdays AND Sundays. The whole team was still exhausted, of course, having but only an hour break yesterday, when everyone in school was either at HOME or having a FIRST DATE…
…which allows us to go back to Squall.
"Hey Kinneas! What happened to you yesterday?" The boys were already submerged in the sphere, now talking through their helmets. Irvine turned back to receive a throw from Nida, who was currently his partner.
"Whaddya mean, 'What happened to you'?" the left defender chuckled mischievously, making the ball spin with one hand, "You know the answer to that question, Ace!" He shot the ball back, "The question is, 'What happened to Commander Leonhart'?"
Nida easily caught the ball, "Ooooh. Curious! Leonhart never misses a practice!"
The whole team became paralyzed with interest; their helmets, if not modified, were centralized.
Irvine crossed his arms, twitching his lips as moments passed without any response from Eyeshield 01. He did remember seeing Squall dive down to the sphere with them…Irvine thought, now switching a look towards the glassed Core Capsule. The remaining possibility was that Squall was in there with the Coach, and the loud speakers were OFF. The left defender felt guilty for what he was about to do.
"Can't, Man…" Irvine heard snorts from the other players, raising his arms in surrender. "The guy's a Primo…Can't divulge something without him around."
"You sure are a sneaky guy, Kinneas." Nida shook his head, slamming the ball back to Irvine's direction again. "Making us grow all anxious and just leaving as hanging in there."
"Tch!" Irvine darted to his left, "The guy is my friend, Salvati. Deal with it."
And as if on cue, the loud speakers made this static sound. So, Irvine's suspicions were true…they were not functioning a while ago. Coach Highwind's voice came booming not long after.
"Warlords! Out of the water! I have news about the upcoming Practice Games! I repeat: Warlords, out of the water!"
Practice Games for the Regionals comes only once per University, and rarely twice each Season, if both opposing teams have agreed upon a rematch. The pairings were drawn randomly, and as for R.U.E., the institution has never been battled up with their greatest Collegiate Rival—the Northern Continent's U.Z. Brotherhood.
The University of Zanarkand, just like R.U.E., was an equally progressive, high standard college, and has always been a competitor in any field, may it be technology, curricula or athletics-wise. For almost a millennia, the two rivals have been in friendly competition, which even divides Gaea into two when it comes to the Championship Cup. Each year, no matter how their standings looked, the two university's game would always be the highlight. There was just this driving force when both teams were in the pool…something drastically exciting that draws everyone to stop whatever they're doing and just watch the Finals.
"Ooh-LA-LA! Zanarkand, here WE COME!" Squall slapped his head with a hand, hiding his amusement as Irvine did his 'Happy Dance'. The Warlords were ecstatic, and Irvine started the display, rocking his hips again and again. Coach Highwind has announced that a Practice Game versus 'The Brotherhood' would be scheduled next month; the exact date, still under negotiations. But that was uplifting enough! The word was already out!
"This also means double the hard work team! Not just a stroll in the park!" Cid clarified before dismissing the boys, glaring as they cheered and gave high-fives in front of him, appearing like they lost him after hearing the phrase 'having a Practice Game with U.Z.'. Since he knew that he couldn't do anything about it, he just waved his clipboard before officially adjourning the practice—already out of the door.
"This is just unbelievable!" Zell hopped off the bench, punching the air as he did. "Finally…versus Zanarkand…and on my first year together with the Warlords!"
"You're in luck, kid." Nida, a senior in the group, was also as amazed as the energetic blonde. He walked over to his locker, much like the rest of the Warlords, preparing to take a shower, "I've been waiting for this for four years now, Brother! Practice Games are always one of the Season's highlights!"
"I know that!" Zell rolled his eyes, remembering something, "Would you believe that they sell tickets that cost over a hundred Gil for Practice Games like this?" Nida threw him an incredulous look, "No, really! Last year, on our match against Luca, the ticket booths in the stadium charged fifty-G for the lower boxes alone!"
"Shoot, Man! That's like triple for the middle seats!" Nida read his mind, unconsciously grabbing a towel from his locker, "Fucking…" he whispered, relating the topic to their current situation, "Holy Mother of Hyne…What more to our match against Zanarkand?"
"That's what I'm thinking about now." Zell pointed at him, even shivering. He happily banged his door close, after taking out his selection of toiletries, "Good thing I got to be a Warlord in time…Ifrit's Hellhole, I don't wanna be a fan in times like this."
They were still chattering AND calculating expenses when Squall came out of his stall. He actually didn't have any idea why that was so important, so he just pretended to be engrossed with drying his hair. He took his bag while he's at it, digging a hand inside the main compartment in search for his celphone. Successful in his quest, he sat down, flicking the scroll for the 'text messaging' menu.
"WHERE ARE YOU?" he even manage to find the 'question mark' amidst the confusing number of buttons. He's not really used to this feature—why trouble your thumb a gazillion times when you could just call? Squall placed the phone on top of the opened bag, standing up to retrieve his extra jersey from the locker.
Not long after, Nokia's standard tune rang. Squall quickly grabbed the phone from the bag.
"Are you mad?" Rinoa replied, with this unusual sign—(;p). Squall looked at it with bewilderment, taking a long while before deciding not to make a big deal about it. A semi-colon and a letter 'p'? What does that mean? Surely, Rinoa didn't mean anything serious about that.
"NO. WHY SHOULD I BE?" Squall keyed in, leaving the phone again as he began to put on his shirt; why is Rinoa asking him that? Is there anything to be mad about?
Rinoa made a reply in less than a minute.
"BECAUSE, YOU'RE GIVING ME MESSAGES WRITTEN IN CAPITAL LETTERS!" Squall almost dropped his phone, shocked at Rinoa's reply. "SO NOW, HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN I DO IT TO YOU?"
"Sorry…" Squall scratched his eyebrow, typing in, "I didn't know that mattered."
Her answer to that was a phone call. By that time, Squall had already finished dressing himself.
"HI Squall!" Rinoa said in her sweet, angelic voice from the other line. Squall could hear faint piano sounds in the background; Rinoa's probably at rehearsal. "How are you doing?"
"Not bad…just finished practice." Squall put on his Bluetooth, rubbing his hair one final time before zipping his bag. "I wanna talk to you about something…Where can I find you?"
"Music Room, Rosetta Building." Rinoa sounded worried, answering abruptly, "What happened? Something wrong?"
"No, don't worry." Squall glowered at Irvine while he passed. The cowboy was giving him a naughty and a knowing smile at the same time. Was there something worse than that? "It's just about a practice game…"
"Oh…I see." She heaved a sigh of relief, "You sure?"
"Yeah."
"I also wanted to talk to you, actually." She paused, and afterwhich Squall heard crunching sounds, like pages being nervously turned. "It's…not a big deal…I just thought you might want to know..."
Squall looked at his watch. It's still very early for a dinner, but either way, he's going to ask her out. "I'll be right there."
"Okay…" she trailed off, so did the sound of the piano, "I'm waiting here."
Would you still be here…?
Would you still…say those things after this day?
Rinoa softly whispered, the words coming out from her dry lips. She slowly flipped her celphone close; the gentle snap resonating like a deadly requiem. Her fingers now shook, the weight of reality finally dawning to her senses...
Why? Why do I always have to feel this way? Why do I have to feel sad after being happy?
Rinoa stared at her phone, holding it up to eye's length. She could feel her heart; it was trying to say something, but she stiffly ignored its cries…She would just weep and feel sorry for herself—she doesn't need that now. She had accepted it before, and has moved on, while knowing…
…while knowing…
...Until Squall came into her life…
"I have to tell him." Rinoa forced it out, sadly conversing with the phone which she eventually put aside. She had already thought about this a million times last night, and the best resolution was to tell him the truth, whether the consequences sided her or not. Telling Squall, while the feeling was still fresh, would be easier; he could still back down, and Rinoa would not try to stop him. It was his own prerogative—they're not in any official commitment whatsoever.
But still, Rinoa felt frightened. What if things won't go her way? What if Squall really backed down? Placed in that circumstance, would Rinoa still be able to stay rooted on her decision? Would she stay back? Will she be able to stop herself from running after him?
"Hyne…" Nervously, Rinoa breathed as a tiny voice came from the back of her mind. Why didn't she see this coming? Why was she even asking herself these questions? Shifting in the piano bench, Rinoa crossed her legs…uncrossing it not long after. Inside her, the feeling tried to invade…putting her restless as she tried to dodge the grueling fact from settling down; completely overpowering her…
Omihyne…Rinoa felt tears pool in her eyes. She gently rocked herself, slowly losing in that inner battle inside. No…not now…not this feeling…
"I'm falling in love…" she squeezed her eyes shut, hot bitter tears falling from her eyes. "This can't be happening to me…I can't—"
"Rinoa?" the brisk sound of a door sliding startled her. She quickly dried her tears, taking a deep breath before turning back to face him. Of course, she would not show any fear. She must not allow Squall to feel obligated, or any other ridiculous feeling worse than that. All she wanted from him right now is an honest answer…which she knew he would give, since they were still in that state in where they could let go without feeling guilty…
In Squall's side of the relation, that is…Rinoa thought, feeling her heart sink.
"Hey, how…" Squall's grin fell short, his eyes flashing knowingly. Rinoa turned her eyes away, mentally kicking herself for selling her emotions so fast that she wasn't even given much time to reorganize her thoughts. She faced the piano, pretending to flip the music sheet open to the next page. She desperately tried reading the lines of notes designated for her, feeling Squall drop his bag and somewhat stop right behind her.
"I got in the Musicale." Rinoa smiled, much coercion happening on her face. Appear relaxed, she lectured herself over and over, convincing herself at the same time that this was for the best. For the good of their hearts. "Although…" she sighed, looking disappointed, "I only got the second lead. Can you believe it? Professor Kramer demoted me!"
Squall stayed silent, boring holes on her back.
"I truly wanted the lead part, but I guess it couldn't be helped." Rinoa pretended to draw an invisible line on the page. She had to look at Squall, or else the whole act wouldn't pull through.
So she did.
"What do you think?" Squall was trying to see through, stopped by the power of her gaze. Something was wrong, he could both see and feel it, but why wasn't Rinoa telling him? Squall took his emotions a step lower, knowing that he could sense much better when his guard was brought down a bit. Trying a smile, he sat beside Rinoa, his back resting on the keys as opposed to the direction that Rinoa was facing.
"It's only fair." He looked at her intently, turning towards her a bit. Only a small triangular patch separated them, and this proximity flared in Rinoa's eyes. "You didn't have an audition buddy as required, right? Professor Kramer was just being rational…He also has a reputation to take care of."
"Y-yes." Rinoa stammered, shrinking back as Squall's breathing licked her face. Her heart hammered, and she fought with it again. She was battling both Squall and her feelings…it was getting her to nowhere, but what can she do? She can't let this happen!
"You're right." Squall felt her move away, something that surprised and irritated him. They were playing this game again—why was she doing this? He didn't stop staring at Rinoa; even her slight flinching didn't get pass his surveillance.
"You were going to tell me something?" Rinoa opened her fingers to touch the keys—her means of diversion. She swiftly closed her palm back, as if stroking the keys would burn her. "About a practice game? Against who?"
"Zanarkand." It didn't feel much exciting now. Squall really felt hurt as she continued to distance herself away, even if not physically. Perhaps…he hadn't showed enough feelings for her? It came to him. Apparently she needed…more?
She began to play the piano; Squall taken away from his reverie…
I have to begin right away…I can't waste as much time as I already made a fool out of myself…
Rinoa straightened her back, ready to sing the first few lines. This is how I usually convey my feelings…I hope it reaches you…even if you're right next to me…
Ohhh…I'mafraid Squall…so afraid…
It is a coward's way…to use music to express how you truly feel…
Hmmm…But I will do it, for this is all I can do now…
Because I'm scared of losing you…
I still hear your voice, though you're not next to me…
I still feel your touch in my dreams…
You have your own fears, I cannot let you have mine as well…it's not right…
Forgive me, my weakness, but I don't know why…
Without you it's hard to survive…
I'm sick Squall…and how I wish that you wouldn't have to know about it…
'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling…
And everytime we kiss, I swear I could fly…
Can't you feel my heart beat fast? I want this to last…
Would you go away? Would you leave me, knowing that I cannot stay forever?
Need you by my side…
Rinoa felt tears burning in her eyes again.
'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static…
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky…
Can't you feel my heart beat so? I can't let you go…
I really like you Squall…so bad…I want to fight it. I know it is unfair…
Want you in my life…
I would eventually leave…how would you do when that time comes?
Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky…
They wipe away tears that I cry…
I don't want you to suffer…I can't let you…but how can I prevent it? How can I stop it when I can't stop feeling this way?
The good and the bad times, we've been through them all…
You make me rise when I fall…
Don't look at me that way…you're not helping!
'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling…
And everytime we kiss, I swear I could fly…
Rinoa? Why do you look so sad?
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last…
Need you by my side…
Did I do something? Something you didn't like? Tell me!
'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static…
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky…
What can I do? I don't want you looking this way…
Can't you hear my heart beat so? I can't let you go…
You look frightened…and in pain…and I can't do anything about it, can I?
Want you in my life…I feel worthless…
Let me in! Let me show you how much I care! I can't do anything without you saying anything!
'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling…
And everytime we kiss, I swear I can fly…Say something!
Squall…Please…Just say that you don't want it. I would understand…
Can't you feel my heart beat fast? I want this to last…
Maybe…when time comes, I would eventually forget it…and by then, I could leave peacefully without anything in mind…
…Need you in my side…
As long as you're happy…I'm happy…
'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static…
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky…
Rinoa looks down to the keys, her tears threatening to spill against her will.
Can't you hear my heart beat so? I can't let you go…
Want you in my life…
Hurt me. Hurt me bad. That's the only way we can get through this…
Her tears fell, leaving her no choice but to cry softly. The end was seemingly halfway done, Rinoa's fingers suspended on the keys. I've said it…She shook, her fists dropping on her lap in defeat. Hyne…I've said it…
And his hand came from nowhere, cutting through her black silken hair that covered her entire face. Rinoa winced, feeling Squall search for her cheek, imagining the possible thousands of ideas that went through his mind as her tears wet his palm. She pushed herself back…What are you doing, Squall!
Not this way…!
He pulled her face up, those wet chocolate brown eyes grappling his heart with their sight. Why do you cry? I don't understand!
He kissed her.
No.
Squall caught her lips with his, pushing them gently as he urged them to open for him. Rinoa struggled; wiggling, pulling away, but he drew her back using her waist, using as little force as possible to make her stay put.
No! Squall, please! NO!
Squall licked her lips, feeling a fresh fall of tears crawl down to her cheeks and his. He suddenly couldn't breathe…he was hurting her, he painfully realized; but he can't stop now!
I would do anything for you, Rinoa…Even if it means that I have to fight you…
His palm drifted lower, taking most of her neck, guiding her to arch backwards. Gaining more access, he deepened their kiss, using all of his knowledge on this art to let her know how he feels. He tenderly coaxed. He showered her with giving. He caressed the back of her neck…
Squall…
And then finally she was losing it, Squall's unending torturous attacks being her undoing. She gave in, much to Squall's relief, opening little by little and receiving his kiss. Plunging deeper, Squall explored her mouth, lavishing every crevice possible, and yet keeping his momentum under close watch. Don't stop me now…Rinoa…
He gently pulled away, his voice raw and hoarse as he said…
"I love you."
A/N: OMIGOD! Fifteen pages! (Yaaaaaaaay!) I can't believe it actually took this long! I'm so proud of myself! (Claps childishly) About the song up there, I suggest that you guys listen to it while reading the lines. It's 'Everytime We Touch' (Slow Remix), by the Cascades. I actually revised the first line since, you know, Squall & Rinoa haven't slept together in this fic. (Cruel laughter) I had tears on my eyes when I did that...well, maybe it's just me? ;o
To Cerulean Crystal, I'm really sorry if I don't make much sense—really, I don't. Sometimes emotions just override my rationale…unfortunately. I hope you'd still enjoy my fic…even if knowing this silliness of mine.
Thank you so much to every else who'd been patiently waiting for every installment. I really feel very much appreciated because of that. Please do continue…there's more to come!
Read and Review minna!
Tootles,
Moonshadow Angel