Chapter Nine: Something Old, Something New

Nathan shook his head as he looked at his reflection in the mirror. It was the smartest he'd looked in months and it was all due to Brooke.

Although, it didn't hide the fact that he was a mess inside.

Since the incident at his apartment, he'd tried avoiding Brooke and Lucas several times out of guilt and silently hoped that his feelings for Brooke would soon go away.

It hadn't helped.

Instead he was falling more and more in… whatever it was.

And he hated it.

Lucas chuckled as he stepped into his brother's dressing room. "You need help with the bow tie?" he asked as he adjusted it without waiting for a reply. Dusting him off, Lucas studied Nathan for a few seconds. "You look great! Does Brooke have good taste or what?"

Nathan gave a small nod, "That she does."

"What do you think?" Lucas asked as he stood beside Nathan and looked at both their reflections. "Do I look like a groom?" he couldn't hide his grin. Nathan gave another nod.

"You do. You seem pretty excited about it all," Nathan noted.

"Why not?" Lucas questioned, "I'm going to marry the girl of my dreams in exactly five days. That's a reason to be happy and excited, right?" Lucas looked at Nathan's pensive expression and scratched the back of his head nervously. "Oh, Nate, I'm sorry. I forgot you must still be thinking about Haley and your wedding day." He said softly.

Nathan popped his head up, "No I wasn't." he insisted. "Actually, I haven't thought about her for a while."

"Really?" Lucas seemed surprised. "You've just been a little quieter lately; I assumed it was because of her."

"No, it's not her. It's far from being her." Nathan toyed nervously with his cuffs.

"So…" Lucas began, "Who is it?" Nathan shrugged. "Come on, you can tell me. After all, I am your big brother."

"Fine," Nathan surrendered, "I'll tell you. I've met someone. I like her… a lot. But, uh, it's too soon for me. Not because of… you know who, but because I'm just not ready to tell her how I feel just yet." He tried to remain as elusive as possible.

"I can respect that," his brother nodded, "Just know that I'll find out soon enough and there will be hell to pay." He chuckled to let Nathan know he was only joking but instead it made Nathan more nervous. "But I'm happy for you, Nathan."

"Really? You've been camping out on Team Haley for a while now." Nathan added a little bitterly than he meant to. Lucas picked up on the tone.

"Of course, I'd rather it be Haley because I know she still loves you. She'll be devastated but I guess it's your choice. I can't help who you have feelings for and I'm not going to stop it. I didn't stop it when you and Haley first got together-" Nathan stared at him.

"Oh really? I remember threats."

"Okay, well, maybe I minded a tiny bit. But I knew Haley could make her own choices. Maybe you and this girl won't last, maybe you will… all I know is that I'd much rather see you happy."

"Thanks," Nathan said. "And since it's now my turn to make threats… if you ever, ever hurt Brooke in any way – then be assured I'll hurt you."

Lucas smirked a little before trying to remain serious for his brother's sake, "Message received." He included a little salute for added effect.

"I'm serious," Nathan told him earnestly. "I've seen Brooke heartbroken before and it's not a pretty sight. She's bitchier than usual."

Lucas gave a knowing nod, "Tell me about it. But, trust me, I plan on making her happy and not seeing her 'out-to-kill-the-Lucas' side for a long time. Geez, I hope our kids don't inherit her mean side."

Nathan looked at his brother, "You're already thinking about kids?" he asked.

"Yeah," Lucas said it as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Brooke knows about it?"

"Yeah. I mean, we were talking about it last night. She wants four because it's an even number and she wants more than two, but less than six." He chuckled. "Of course, she also wants dogs because her parents wouldn't let her have any so expect us to have at least five of them."

"What next? A house in the suburbs with a white picket fence and an SUV with a baby seat in the back?" Nathan commented. "You'll be middle-aged before you reach twenty-five." Lucas' grin grew wider.

"But who wants to party all night when you have someone like Brooke to come home to?" He asked with a shrug.

"Aren't you scared?" Nathan questioned in an attempt to get his own mind off the prospect of coming home to Brooke every night.

"No. There's something about this that just feels… right. I love Brooke and I just want to be with her always. Always and forever." Nathan froze at the echoes of his vows to Haley. His brother caught Nathan's sudden change in mood, though he didn't quite know why. "Hey, listen, if this wedding stuff is too much for you…"

Nathan stopped him, "What's too much?" he tried to act cool, "I told you. I'm over it." Lucas merely gave a small acknowledgement before returning to study his reflection.

"You know you have to do a speech, right?" Lucas reminded him.

"Yeah. Mouth is in the process of writing it for me right now," Nathan replied seriously, but off Lucas' murderous glare, he held is hands up in surrender, "Joking!"

Lucas just chuckled and shook his head, "You shouldn't scare a guy like that. I want this speech to come from your heart... no-one else's. There's a reason you're my best man, Nate. I want to put all the crap behind us. We're brothers. We support each other."

'Uh huh', Nathan thought, his gut clenching with guilt, 'I support you so well that I even kissed your fiancée for you.' He forced a smile. "Yeah," he agreed. "Which is why I'm going to leave the speech as a surprise."

"Sure if that's what you want," Lucas replied as he checked out his hair in the mirror, "And, listen, I know you're not into Haley anymore but I want you to know that I support any decision you make. Just... be honest with Haley. Don't let her walk around with false hope."

The brunette nodded. "I will. There's nothing worse than moping over someone, or something, you can't have..."

And didn't he just know it?

Lucas cleared his throat, "Are you still not going to tell me who this mystery girl of yours is?"

Nathan shook his head resolutely. He'd probably be shot if he told the truth. So instead he smirked and tutted. "Nuh-uh-uhuh."

He tried his best to act cool about it, but inside he was tearing apart.

Why did he even have to open his mouth? It was only a matter of time before he cracked and he couldn't tell Lucas that he had the hots for his fiancée. Well, technically, he could - it would just end in death and pain, and more death.

"Well, whoever she is. I hope she makes you happy."

He sighed. Though he longed to say 'I hope so, too', he knew it was just a pipedream. Instead he just nodded, then turned back to the mirror. "So," he eventually asked, "Do you think Brooke would hate it if we changed the handkerchiefs to blue?"

-------

"Nathan Scott!" Brooke burst into his apartment and scanned the area for him. Nathan's head popped out from behind the refrigerator door.

"Brooke Davis!" he echoed her tone as he pulled out a Coke for her. "I sent out the invitations. I swear!"

"How could you keep this from me?" she questioned.

He froze. She knew. She knew! She knew? She couldn't possibly know. He was becoming paranoid. "Keep what from you?" He asked, hoping against hope that his voice hadn't wavered.

She strode forward and poked him hard in the chest. "Don't play dumb with me, Mister!" She poked him again. "I know all about your new secret feelings..."

Oh, dear God. He felt as though he couldn't breathe. "What?" He squeaked. He actually squeaked. This was so not good for his image. Not that he was going to be alive for much longer, though. "How do you-"

"Lucas told me." She chirped.

Suddenly he was able to breathe again, and he laughed. A full belly-laugh that bordered on hysteria. She didn't know. Thank God. All was right with the world. Sort of.

"What's so funny?" She asked, a frown crossing her beautiful features.

"Nothing, nothing. I thought you knew something else. So... what did my brother tell you?"

"Only about your mystery girl!" Brooke said waving her arms about dramatically, "How could you not tell me? I'm your friend!"

Then the guilt was back. "Oh, Brooke, you are my friend but, you know how us guys are. We're not really into lovey-dovey, girly chats about that sort of stuff."

Please buy that. Please. Please!

Brooke nodded her head, "Well, duh, I know. Why do you think it took Lucas and me so long to finally get together?"

Oh, thank you, God! Nathan thought, deciding that he might just become a church-goer after all. "So, yeah, don't feel bad about being out of the not-important loop."

"Well who is she?" Brooke urged, "I mean, if it's not Haley, then who is she?"

"She's no one important." He responded casually, all the while damning himself for it. She was important. So very important. But she was Brooke and she was forbidden.

"Do I know her? Is she invited to the wedding?" she gasped, "Do you want me to invite her to the wedding? I mean there's nothing more romantic than a wedding to get two people together. Just give me her name and number and it's done!"

"No, Brooke..." He was serious now. "I told Lucas I'm not ready."

"How long have you had feelings for her? Does she know? Have you told Haley? Of course you haven't told Haley, you don't even look at Haley."

"Long enough. No she doesn't." He led her to the door. "Thanks for dropping by. See you at your wedding." Which was a week away, but he wasn't certain he could be in the same room as her anymore – especially if she kept on with all the questions.

But Brooke wasn't one to back down so easily, and Nathan knew this. She forced her way back into the apartment. "Nathan, come on, you can't keep silently pining over someone. It's not healthy, tell me and we'll talk about it."

"I said 'No', Brooke!" He yelled, finally snapping. "I don't want to talk about it with anyone, especially not you!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Brooke asked, confused at his sudden outburst. "Why not me?"

"Because it is you," he spat, feeling the anger dissipate immediately. "And telling you will ruin everything." Not to mention the ever-present pain and death.

"What's me?" Brooke seemed to not have picked up the hint. Or, if she had, was trying to ignore it.

He groaned in frustration. "The girl. You are the girl. The one you've been pestering me about. Do you feel better knowing now? Do you!"

Brooke stared at him for what felt like a lifetime. "Uh..." she tried to chuckle, "That's a really good one." she cleared her throat noisily but didn't dare look at him, "You're really funny. Are you going to use that in your speech? Oh is this like a test?" she began babbling something about Lucas and Nathan setting her up in her quest to try and comprehend what he'd told her. She was ready to believe anything but what he was really trying to tell her.

"No. Oh, God, Brooke, I wish it were that simple, but it's not..." he dropped down on the couch in the next room, holding his head in his hands. "I don't know when it started but I can't make it stop. Then I kissed you and I can't get you out of my head."

"I was drunk, Nathan. That stupid kiss didn't mean anything." She told him firmly. He looked up at her.

"You remember?"

"Yeah, and I felt awful about it. But it didn't mean anything so I just never brought it up. Is that what makes you think that you like me, because you're totally getting the wrong impression."

"No!" he protested. "I know you don't see me that way. You're marrying my brother, for God's sake. But I can't help the way I feel for you. You're under my skin, but I've kept quiet. I haven't said one word. I know..." he hesitated and reconsidered. "I knew better than that."

"I think I need to go," Brooke told him as she turned for the door. She was stopped by a firm grasp on her arm.

"Don't go. We need to talk about this." He pleaded.

"No, we don't." she replied. "We don't because you don't really like me like you say. You're just upset over Haley-"

"Stop making this about Haley!" Nathan yelled angrily at her. "I'm sick and tired of every assuming that I'm like this because of her. I don't want Haley anymore, I want you." He looked her dead in the eye to let her know he was serious.

"Nathan, I'm getting married." She told him again.

He nodded, "How could I forget? That's why I never told you, I just hoped it would go away. But Brooke, the more I try and forget you, the more I want you. And it doesn't help that you're in my apartment virtually every minute of the day."

Brooke felt a stab of guilt. Had she done this? She opened her mouth to ask but Nathan answered for her.

"It's not your fault. You didn't know." Nathan sighed. They were silent for a few minutes. Brooke wondered if maybe she should take this as her cue to leave and give Nathan some space, but another part of her wanted to stay and talk to him.

The part that wasn't furious at him for dropping such a bombshell on her.

Nathan was now weighing his options. He could let her leave, tell Lucas and get his ass kicked. Or he could tell her exactly why he loved her. Maybe try and stop Brooke from marrying Lucas in the first place.

Have her for himself and see his chances.

Either way, he'd get his ass kicked by Lucas.

"Listen, since you know…" he began, "Maybe… maybe you can take this as a sign or a way of thinking about whether you want to go through with this wedding or not."

"Of course I do." She answered a little too quickly.

"Really?" Nathan asked, "You and Lucas are way too young to get married."

"Says the guy who got married when he was sixteen." She commented bitterly.

"And look at my marriage. It fell apart after six months. You'd think that would be some sort of warning."

"Lucas and I aren't like you and Haley. We know each other. We love each other."

"You don't think I loved Haley?" Nathan bit back.

"I think you did a shabby job of fighting for her and working your problems out."

"This isn't about me and Haley," Nathan shook his head, "This is about us."

"There is no us!" she cried in disbelief.

"There could be," Nathan replied hopefully, "Brooke, you don't have to marry Lucas. You can still get out of it." She chuckled dryly, not believing what she was hearing.

"Why would I do that?"

"Because deep down in your heart you're wondering if you're making the right choice. Come on, Brooke, open your eyes. There's a million other guys out there."

"Like you, right?" she questioned, "Nathan, I'm not dumping him for some… whatever with you."

"Why not? He dumped you for Peyton." He regretted saying those words the minute they flew carelessly out of his mouth.

"That was a long time ago…" her voice was quieter now, as if she couldn't believe he'd actually used that against her.

"Maybe. But whose to say that he won't do it after he has a ring on his finger? And not just Peyton, what about some other girl who bats her eyelashes at him? You know Lucas hasn't had the best track record when it comes to fidelity."

"Neither did you before Haley." Brooke managed to squeak out, "Neither did I, but people change."

"Not everybody." He stepped closer to her, "I won't break your heart, Brooke. You don't have to marry him. You can be with me." Nathan said it softly as he cupped her cheek in his hand and brushed his lips over her forehead.

Brooke, on the other hand, was on the verge of tears, not only at his outburst but at the fact that Nathan had used her own insecurities about Lucas and Peyton's friendship against her.

And she'd thought that Nathan was somebody she could trust.

She couldn't continue due to the lips firmly pressed against her own. Pushing away immediately, she slapped him hard. "How dare you?"

Before he could apologize (even half-heartedly) she had raced out of the apartment and to her car, utterly humiliated and distraught.

He didn't bother chasing after her, knowing that it was useless and, though he wished he could take it back, he knew it was too far gone. She knew, she'd rejected him and now she was probably on her way to tell Lucas what happened.

The only thing Nathan could do was wait for an ass-kicking. He shut the door just as Brooke's car sped out of view and far away from Nathan.

It was official, he was an idiot.

Walking toward the kitchen table, he stared down at the piece of paper containing his best man's speech. With one swift motion, he ripped it in half and in half again. He kept going until he couldn't break the paper apart anymore.

In a mix of anger, rejection and regret he threw the pieces of his speech up into the air, letting them fall gracefully like confetti as he sat and buried his head in his hands.

To Be Continued…