Chapter Ten: Someone's Blue
Mrs. Brooke Scott.
Mrs. Lucas Scott.
Mrs. Brooke Davis-Scott.
Mrs. B. L. Scott.
Mr. and Mrs. Lucas Scott.
Brooke placed the pen down with a sigh and pushed the piece of paper away from her. She'd been practicing her married name ever since she and Lucas got engaged and it never failed to get her excited.
Not this time. It just felt wrong.
Picking up the pen again, she scribbled on it.
Mrs. Nathan Scott.
She screamed silently as she scribbled it out.
She wasn't Mrs. Nathan Scott!
That was Haley.
Haley James-Scott. Brooke Davis-Scott.
Haley N. James-Scott. Brooke L. Davis-Scott.
Sister-in-laws.
Her lips pulled into a small grin. Who'd have thought she'd be related to Tutor Girl?
Except she wasn't sure if Haley would remain as Nathan's wife for long if Nathan was in lov—no, that was ridiculous. Nathan didn't love her. He was just being stupid.
Stupid, stupid Nathan.
How dare he try and make her feel insecure and doubtful of her relationship with Lucas.
She loved Lucas. Loved him with every fibre of her body. He was the one she thought of day and night. The one who slept next to her three times a week.
Which would soon become every single night.
She gulped.
Could she really do that? Could she really face waking up next to Lucas every morning?
She cursed herself for beginning to have doubts. Of course she could! She loved their mornings.
Maybe if he cut his hair though. He was starting to look like a chipmunk. She made a mental reminder to force Lucas to have a haircut before the wedding.
Brooke began wondering what it would be like to wake up with Nathan in the mornings. She'd done it several times before but that was when they went camping way back in their freshmen year, and she didn't think it counted if there were another ten people in the same room and they were separated by thick sleeping bags.
Would Nathan kiss her without caring about morning breath? Would he surprise her by making her breakfast?
Lucas did.
But would it continue when they were married? She'd read about how the spark flew out of relationships once they had a gold band on their finger.
She would then be the one left behind at home. The missus. The ol' ball and chain.
Would she nag?
She made a face and groaned.
She had to call somebody.
She picked up her cellphone and pressed '4': Peyton's cell.
Before it even began to ring, she ended the call and slammed her phone down. She couldn't call Peyton. The blonde would go nuts and threaten to hang Nathan by his very... Yup, Peyton was out of the question.
Obviously she couldn't call Haley.
And she really didn't want to speak to her mom.
Karen! Karen was nice and kind and would help her.
Though she should probably not tell her future mother-in-law about what transpired between Nathan and herself.
She supposed she could find a way around that, though. Karen really was the best choice.
Dialing Karen's number, she was relieved when it picked up.
"Karen speaking," she greeted.
"Hey, Karen it's me. I'm not disturbing you, am I?"
"Not really, no." Brooke could hear the smile in her voice. It went a long way in calming her down. "Why? What's up? More wedding-type questions?"
"Well..."
"Because I've heard Nathan complaining about you testing his make-up on him. I might not want to release my son into your hands if this is going to be a habit," Brooke knew Karen was only teasing but it still made her nervous.
She forced a laugh, hoping it was convincing enough. "I don't know, Lucas might be into that sort of thing." She teased, before sobering. "But no...I was actually wondering if you were up for a coffee? My treat."
Karen chuckled, "Brooke, I own a café; I'm always up for a coffee. It's pretty slow here today so pop down for a while and we'll have a chat then. I'll make you your favorite. That expensive Starbucks-sounding latte you like."
"I'm sold." The troubled teen grinned, even though she knew the other woman couldn't see her. Just talking to the woman was making her feel better, and they hadn't even reached the real reason for the call yet. "I'll be there in twenty."
Ten minutes later, Brooke found herself and her baby blue bug outside Karen's Cafe. There had been no traffic and she'd hit green lights all the way.
Either somebody wanted Brooke to talk to Karen, or she'd been driving way over the speed limit.
Which was precisely what Karen said when she spotted the young brunette. She frowned when it didn't even earn her a smile. Hands on her hips, she asked, "Alright, start talking. I'll get the latte."
Brooke fell into a seat near the window. Karen hadn't been kidding when she said the day had been slow. There was virtually no-one in the cafe.
That was good.
"Where's Lucas?" Brooke asked, the words falling out of her mouth before she could even stop herself. It had been a traditional greeting since Brooke had begun dating Lucas. 'Where's Lucas?' she'd ask and Karen would point to the back, or at a table where he'd be doing work, or direct her to the Rivercourt. Karen often wondered whether Brooke came into the cafe for anything other than Lucas and her latte.
"Lucas is with Mouth and the rest of the Rivercourt boys. I think they're going to do some pre-wedding thing back at home. Don't worry, Andy has his eye on them." Karen smiled.
Despite the anxiety swirling away inside her, Brooke smiled back and accepted her drink. "Good." She twirled her spoon around, contemplating how to tackle the subject. Thankfully, Karen took the matter out of her hands.
"But I know you didn't come to ask me where he was." Her soon-to-be mother in law replied, sitting down across from her. "So go on, tell me what's bothering you..."
"When you and Andy decided to get married, did you ever have… doubts?" She questioned before leaping to her defense, "I mean I love Lucas, I really do. And you love Andy - especially since he has all that money." Karen suppressed a grin. Brooke had grown up in the years she'd known her, but some things never changed.
"That's not exactly what I married the man for, Brooke." She chided, before turning serious. "But, in answer to your question, yes, I did have a spot of cold feet before the wedding."
"So it's like normal right? To freak out before you get married?" Karen nodded to reassure the girl. Brooke sighed, "And you never... never thought that maybe Andy wasn't the one for you? Like maybe there was someone else out there that you're meant to be with but you don't see it yet?"
Karen frowned slightly in contemplation. "It is difficult when you're so young to imagine yourself with one person for the rest of time."
"You were thirty-six when you got married!" Brooke untactfully pointed out the woman's age. "I don't want to find my one true love when I'm that old!"
"Watch it, kiddo, or I'll make you pay for that latte." Karen tossed back good-naturedly. "Besides," she huffed, "Thirty-six is still young. There's still another forty to sixty years in you, if you take proper care of yourself. And the prospect of being with only one person for that amount of time is still daunting."
"But what if you know that someone is right for you and you can't wait to spend the rest of your life with them but you're scared he'll break your heart again?" Brooke winced.
"Sweetie, you have to take that risk. That's what love's all about." She sighed, "Though this sounds incredibly cheesy, love is about putting your heart on the line. It's... a battlefield."
Brooke snorted. "Eighties music? You're quoting eighties music at me as 'advice'?"
"Well, I'm not sure Pat Benatar is much use but there's no better way to describe it."
"I'm not even sure it helps," Brooke let out a small sigh.
"I'm sorry, honey, I just never thought you'd be the type to have cold feet. You always seem so confident and sure of yourself."
'Well I just had all my doubts and fears used as an argument to stop me from marrying Lucas. Of course I'm not confident about any of this now!' Brooke thought to herself.
"Marriage is a big step," was all Brooke said.
"I'm glad you realize that. I would hate it if either of you were going into this lightly. Have you spoken to him about this?"
Brooke looked aghast. 'Talk to him about Nathan proclaiming his love for me? I think not'.
Karen misinterpreted her reaction. "Lucas can be called a lot of things, but insensitive isn't one of them." She said. "I'm sure he'd be more than happy to talk out this cold feet business."
"What if he feels the same way? Or gets mad and calls off the whole thing? How am I supposed to return the dress or the cake or make calls to all the guests? I don't want to return all the wedding gifts!" Brooke cried, having become accustomed to receiving gifts left, right and center for the past two weeks.
Karen couldn't help but chuckle. "Hon, he'd never call it off. You know that. He might ask you if you want to postpone it for a little while, but there is no way he would ask you to cancel this. And, hey, the fact that you don't want him to call it off tells me that you don't want out." She patted Brooke's hand reassuringly. "Talk to him. You'll feel much better, I'm sure."
Brooke shook her head, "You know, I feel much better already. There's no need to tell Lucas about this little chat, right? Next week I'll just walk down the aisle in my so-not-off-the-rack wedding dress and spend the rest of my life with him as Mrs. Lucas Scott." Her small faltered somewhat near the end, a motion Karen caught.
"I don't know if that's a good idea, keeping things from him before you're even married..." Though she thought of Brooke as a daughter, her loyalty was to her son first and foremost. "Talk to him," she urged. "If only to say that you were nervous about it all for a bit. Don't leave him in the dark."
"I'll think about it," Brooke rose out of her seat to tell the woman that their conversation was over, "Thanks Karen… for being there."
"My pleasure."
Brooke took her latte and exited the cafe. Karen watched as the young girl walked the short distance to her car. She noted how Brooke buried her head in her hands momentarily in despair and confusion before starting the engine and driving off.
Karen knew that Brooke probably wouldn't tell Lucas. Her son had often told her how difficult it was for Brooke to let her guard down, especially after the whole Lucas-and-Peyton fiasco. There was only one thing for it.
Karen would have to be the one to urge Lucas to talk to her.
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Lucas slammed his old bedroom door in frustration and groaned loudly, cursing Brooke under his breath. It wasn't long before Karen rushed in, demanding to know what all the noise was about.
"I know that in a few days you won't be living here anymore, but I don't think that gives you any right to be abusing the furniture." She told him, crossing her arms across her chest. Lucas just glared at his mother. "Okay, what happened?"
"Brooke!" he cried, "She's being bitchier than usual and she threw me out of the bedroom! She actually threw me out of our house!"
"Well there must have been a good reason for it." Karen reminded him, "What did you do?"
"Why do assume I'm the one who did something?" Lucas huffed, a little betrayed that his mother automatically blamed him. "I didn't do anything. I just walked in and gave her a kiss and then she just began yelling some stuff about… I don't even know what it's about! She's psychotic!"
"She's not psychotic, Lucas, she's just scared."
"Of…?" Lucas seemed oblivious to it all; Karen's eyes widened. She never knew her son was this dense.
"I don't know, Lucas, maybe the fact that in six days you both are going to be married. That's a pretty scary thing to think about… even for me."
"So? She seemed pretty happy about it all last week." Lucas told his mother. "What changes in a week?"
"I don't know, Lucas. But something has her spooked. Maybe she's just worried that what happened to Nathan and Haley will happen to you two."
"I don't think either of us are planning to become rock stars," Lucas muttered, "And Nathan and Haley are different to me and Brooke."
"I know, and I'm sure she knows that too, but she's still scared."
"Why didn't she just tell me that?"
"Because maybe she thought you wouldn't understand…" Karen edged closer into her son's room, "Maybe she thinks you feel the same?"
"How do you know so much about this?" Lucas questioned.
"She was in the café earlier…"
"And she told you?"
"Well, yes, but—"
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because it's not exactly my place, Lucas. And I thought that maybe she'd do it on her own but seeing that she hasn't… Just go back and talk to her."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because she threw me out and I left all my stuff there. Even my math homework which is due in tomorrow."
"Forget about your math homework for a few moments. Let her cool down for a while and then go back and talk to her." She advised.
"Easier said than done," he huffed, "She said she wants to be alone for a while."
"Then you call her." Karen smiled, "But for tonight, you sleep here and see her tomorrow. She'll come around." With those words she turned to leave her son to do some thinking.
"Hey mom," he called after her, "Do you think we're making the right decision? Getting married, I mean."
"Do you love her?"
"Of course."
"Do you want to spend the rest of your life with her?"
He nodded.
"Can you live with all her little quirks?"
"I love her little quirks."
"Then, yes," she nodded, "I think you're making the right decision."
"But how do I convince her of that?" Lucas questioned, feeling as if he was the only one of them sure of this.
"You just tell her."
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"Brooke, this is serious. Call me." Peyton's agitated and concerned voice was followed by a beep on the answering machine.
"Hey Brooke, it's Bevin. Um… I haven't seen you in school for the last few days. The wedding is still on, right? Cos I just bought this really great dress but my shoes aren't the right shade of red and Rachel said that you'd called off the whole thing, but Peyton told me you're only going over a few details and I just need to know if there's any point in me buying new shoes because it's really hard to find the right shade of red for these types of shoes. Call me!"
Brooke deleted all fifteen messages on her answering machine, cursing herself for buying the damned thing in the first place.
For the last five days, Brooke had camped out at home. She'd talked to a few people to reassure them the wedding was going ahead, though she herself wasn't sure. Peyton, especially, had been concerned and tried coming over but she had only stayed briefly. Brooke had not mentioned what she called 'the Nathan thing' to anybody but insisted it was just a case of cold feet and everything was fine. She had just wanted to clear her head.
In fact, that was the last thing that was happening. She still hadn't made up her mind.
Brooke wanted to marry Lucas. Nothing would make her happier than to walk down the aisle and see him smiling at her. She wanted to be Mrs. Lucas Scott.
But she knew she wouldn't be able to survive if everything went to hell.
She didn't want to end up like Haley; hoping that her husband would call her or acknowledge her presence.
And she didn't want to be like Nathan; cold and bitter and falling in love with the most inappropriate person on the planet.
She shook her head; Nathan was not in love with her. He was just saying it to make sure she wasn't making a bad choice.
Did Brooke love Lucas?
Yes.
Did Brooke love Nathan?
… She wasn't sure.
Of course, she found Nathan attractive but she'd never thought of him that way. Not for a long time anyway.
Brooke sighed and flopped back down on her bed as the phone began to ring again. She let the machine pick it up.
"Hey, sweetheart, it's me." Her mother's voice filled the room, "Your father and I are really sorry but we're unable to attend the wedding tomorrow. I know it is short notice but he has a meeting and he just couldn't shift it, and it's silly if it was just me. How about you and Lucas pop down to California over the summer or something and we'll all meet up and have dinner. I really am sorry but you know how it is. Congratulations and make sure you send us the pictures… and if you see Auntie Maureen there, don't tell her where we live. I really don't want to see her. Love you, bye!" she trilled as she hung up the phone. Brooke rolled her eyes.
Although her relationship with her parents was almost non-existent, she did want them there. Yet, part of her was relieved. If this wedding didn't go ahead, then at least they weren't there to criticize her.
The phone began to ring again and she groaned, making a mental note to unplug it.
"Brooke, it's me."
Lucas had called at least five times every day. He had turned up the other day to try and talk to her but she had told him that maybe they shouldn't see each other until the wedding. He seemed relieved that she'd mentioned the wedding to him and taken it as a sign it was going ahead. But she hadn't seen him since. She had talked to him briefly and told him that she loved him and wanted to get married, but she still needed time alone.
"I know you probably still want to be alone and have some space, and I'm fine with that. It's just that they've already started setting up the things for the wedding tomorrow and so I'm still assuming it's going ahead. But if it isn't…" he seemed to hate himself for saying those words, "Just let me know and I'll cancel everything. Just… talk to me? I don't exactly know what it is that you're searching for and I hope it's nothing I've done."
'No, Lucas, it's nothing you've done.' She thought to herself as she listened to the message.
"All I know is that I love you. I want to marry you but if you're not ready then we can postpone it. I'll do anything you want me to do if you just talk to me and tell me. I don't know if I told you this but six months ago, I woke up and saw you sleeping next to me and it just felt right. I knew that I wanted to have that feeling every single day. Then you woke up and smiled at me and that was the moment I decided I wanted to marry you. I still want that, Brooke. I love you so much. I know that you're scared because I am too, but I see my future and it's with you. I see kids and growing old together, and having a long, happy marriage where you paint our bedroom girly colors and pick out expensive china. I just feel that what we're doing is right. And if you don't want to get married tomorrow, then that's okay. We can get married next month or next year… or even ten years from now. I just want to spend the rest of my life with you and making you as happy as you make me." He sighed, "I just want you to be happy, Brooke. Call me, please."
As the message ended, Brooke's eyes welled up with tears. She loved Lucas. She did and she was sure she wanted to marry him. She just had to talk to him.
Before she could pick up the phone to call him back, it rang and displayed Nathan's caller-ID. She hesitated and let the machine pick it up again. It was the first time he'd contacted her since that fateful afternoon.
"Hey Brooke, it's me. I guess you already know that since you're sitting over the phone and checking the caller-ID." He sighed and she smirked. He knew her too well. "Maybe I should have called you earlier in the week or something but I've just spent all that time trying to give you space and hoping you'll call me. But… I, uh, I saw some guys setting up the wedding tent for tomorrow so I just assume the wedding is going ahead. I just wanted to let you know that I'm fine with that. You obviously made your choice. I hope that you and Lucas have a wonderful life together and a great marriage. But I'm just calling to tell you that… I'm not going to apologize for having feelings for you. I love you, and you might think it's just a crush or something but I can't get you out of my head. I don't think I can. I will say something though, if there is any part of you that has doubts about your marriage and about Lucas; then don't do it. Don't marry him because you'll be making a mistake. Be 100 sure about it. Also, if there's any part of you that thinks that it could love me as more than just a friend, then tell me. Don't marry Lucas if you think you could love me, because I know that I'll do anything to make you happy. That's all I want. Just do something that will make you happy. Don't worry about who you hurt along the way. Make a decision that you're happy with and sure about. Be happy." He sighed, "Okay, you're probably going to delete this anyway, but, uh… call me."
There it was.
Two messages from the two guys who proclaimed they loved her most.
They wanted her to be happy.
But she knew that if she wanted to be happy, she'd have to break the heart of one of them.
Could she really go through a wedding and then watch it fall apart like Nathan and Haley's had?
She didn't want to be divorced by the time she was 21.
Then again, could she really pin all her hopes on Nathan? What if it didn't work out and she'd lost Lucas and the chance to settle down?
What if she wasn't supposed to be with either of them?
It began to give her a headache.
Nathan or Lucas?
Lucas or Nathan?
Was she really marriage material at the age of 18? Could she balance a household and college?
Was Nathan serious about her? Or was it some sort of infatuation that would quickly fade and she'd be left alone.
She couldn't possibly bear to think of what Lucas would do if she left him for Nathan.
What about Haley? How would she take it?
What if Nathan was right and Lucas cheated on her again? There was nothing she'd do to prevent herself from going through that again.
Nathan didn't want Brooke to be unhappy, but what made him so certain he could be the one to make her happy?
She knew that she was happy with Lucas, but she didn't want to enter marriage having doubts about him and his fidelity.
Brooke groaned loudly and replayed each message again and again and again.
She listened to Lucas's dreams of their future together and she listened to Nathan warn her against wedding Lucas if she had feelings for him.
She wasn't sure exactly how long she spent listening to those messages and deliberating everything, but eventually the answer came to her and she was certain that it was the right one.
Picking up the phone, she dialed the number, never having been sure of anything else in her entire life.
He picked it up almost immediately.
"Hey, it's me." She spoke into the phone and she could hear the relief in his voice, "I got your message and… you're right. But we'll need to talk."
"I'll be there in ten minutes. I love you." He told her immediately.
"I love you too." She said before hanging up the phone and deleting the two messages.
She had made her choice.
And it was him.
To Be Continued…
The last chapter is up next…