Honey Moon Hi-Jinks, Chapter 5: What a Bunch of Misfits
Well, Due to scheduling conflicts, I'm writing this chapter. Alas, that is the problem with working with others. Originally, this was going to be six chapters, but with Dragon having scheduling conflicts, I have to write this one. So I turned the last two chapters into one really long one. Hope you all enjoy.
We come to closing chapter of Honey Moon Hi-jinks. I just want to take this moment to thank L1701E and Dragon of the Eternal Flame greatly for their assistance in this project. It meant a lot to me. Thanks guys.
This last chapter is dedicated to the writer than inspired me to start writing, and her insane muses. Hope ya'll enjoy…
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Shady Docks in Cleveland"Cripes…" Mike swore as he dodged another demon. "This is like my high school dance all over again…"
"Lotta fighting?" Razor asked as he ducked under a swinging demon arm, and responded by wailing a massive riff of his guitar, blasting the demon to pieces.
"No. Interdimensiol demons." Mike muttered as he used his tendricals to throw two demons away. "How you holding up?"
"Please. This is what I'd like to call an easy day squid…"
"You call me that again, and these demons aren't going to be your only problem…" Mike hissed.
"They're never going to get along, are they?" Rip asked Betsy.
"I'm not a telepath anymore, and even I call tell that." Betsy muttered as she sat in her cage. "If you're not busy Luv, I'd like to get out now!" Betsy called out.
"In a second honey!" Mike called out as he crushed a demons skull.
"YEEEE-HA!" Razor yelled as he used his guitar to bat a few demons aside with easy. "Go Squid! I got yo back!"
"God I hate that man…" Mike muttered as he dove through a few demons and rolled out the other side, next to his wife's cage.
"Hey luv." Betsy said with a smile.
"Hey." Mike said as he grabbed the bars and yanked hard, ripping them off the hinges.
"HEY!" Selene screamed. "Do you have any idea how much those cost!"
"Bitch bitch bitch…" Razor mocked.
"Next!" Mike shouted as he ripped open Wendy and Rip's cages.
"Radical…" Rip said with a smirk as he felt his powers return. His hair burst into flames, as his body slowly coated in fire. When the flames died down, he was wearing a red jumpsuit.
"How Power Ranger of you." Mike muttered as he then freed Alex and Tommy.
Tommy, Alex, Wendy and the others underwent similar transformations, assuming the powers of Earth, Air, and Thunder respectively.
"You're next chuckles." Mike muttered a she grabbed Fingers cage.
"Wait Mike! He hit on me…" Betsy said, stopping him dead in his tracks.
"Guess I'm gonna hit on him then…" Mike muttered in anger as he picked up the cage and began to shake it.
"Mike, wait!" Rip said as he stopped Omega with his super strength. "Beat on Daniel later, we could use him for this fight.
"Stupid Logic. Ruining my fun… God I hate superhero team-ups… It's so lame." Mike swore as he let Fingers go. Daniel was covered in water as emerged with his costume on.
"Now lets go help Razor…" Wendy shouted as the gathered hero's turned around. To see Razor on a pile on Demons, waxing his beloved guitar.
"What took you all so long?" the jute box Avenger asked as he finished waxing his guitar.
"You have got to be shittin' me…" Betsy said in shock.
"Nope. Just an average day in Cleveland babe." Razor mocked. "And damn if my Babe radar ain't going off like a jackhammer right now."
"How about I jackhammer your skull into the ground…" Mike hissed.
"MIKE!" Betsy shouted, slapping him in the back of the head. "That's no way to treat an Avenger…"
"OW! Look. I'm sorry if I don't like walking ego's hitting on my wife." Mike snapped back.
"Oh, that's so sweet." Betsy purred.
"Ahem…" The gathered hero's turned to see Selene standing in front of them, a pendent in her hands.
"Ah. If it isn't the wicked Bitch of the west coast." Alex quipped.
"East side FO' Eva!" Tommy said as he crossed his arms. "We gonna lay a hurtin' on dis girl…"
"These people are completely nuts…" Betsy muttered to herself.
"Kinda reminds me of Home." Mike stated.
"While you were all busy defeating my lackeys, and making bad tasteless jokes…" Selene started.
"I don't think Bimbo's in black leather should talk about what's tasteless." Razor stated as he hefted his freshly waxed Guitar onto his shoulder.
"You need to learn some manners." Selene smiled. "And now that's I've harvested a small portion of the Elemental star, as well as Crimson Dawn. I can now fulfill my plan."
"Do what now?" Mike asked, cleaning out his ear. "I'm sorry. Did you try to sound menacing? Cause if you did, it didn't work."
"Laugh all you want little man. But now that I'm through with you and your wench…"
"WHAT!" Betsy demeaned as a pair of Telekinetic Katana appeared in her hands.
"I have no need for you. Good-bye." Selene said as she waved her hand. A vortex opened up behind Omega and Psylocke, sucking them in.
"Oh crap…" Mike muttered as he tried to hold on, but the newly weds fell into the swirling portal, which sealed up after them.
'WHERE DID YOU SEND THEM!" Razor demanded. "I couldn't care about the squid! But the chick was banging!"
"To another reality." Selene said with a smile.
"Since when can you do that?" Alex asked.
"Since acquiring the power of the Crimson Dawn." Selene purred.
"Acquire this!" Razor screamed as he picked up his guitar. "VAN HALEN HAMMER!"
Author's NOTE: As this is Omega and Psylockes Honeymoon, we now leave the Cavaliers and Razor to follow the primary characters adventures. But rest assured, Razor and his crew thoroughly thwart Selene's plans as usual and lay a massive hurtin' on da Bitch, and celebrate by putting on a benefit concert. We now return to our regularly schedualed couple.
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Somewhere beyond the yellow brick road…
"My head…" Mike muttered as he slowly pushed himself up.
"I really hate when that happens." Betsy moaned as she pushed Mike off of her.
"What? Mystical backlashes? Kidnapping? Ninja's?" Mike asked as he sat up. "Crazed mutant Vampires sending us through Mystical portals?"
"No. When you land on me." Betsy said as she brushed some dust off of her. "You really need to go on a diet luv."
"Hey. If you didn't insist on going cowboy all the time, you'd be use to my weight." Mike retorted.
"Did you just really try to use that as an excuse?" Betsy asked as she slapped her husband in the head. "God. I married a bloody freaking moron."
"And you love me." Mike said as he stood up. "So, where are we?"
"I don't know, let me pull the bloody mystical map out of me arse and find out?" Betsy scowled.
"You can do that?" Mike asked. Betsy just stared at him.
"Did Razor knock you in the head a couple of dozen times?"
"Yea. It hurt a lot." Mike nodded. Betsy just shook her head.
"God help me." Betsy murmered. "Well. Looks like we're on a Military base." Betsy said. "I hope the others will be okay."
"Meh. They'll do fine. Seems like something that happens on a regular basis for them." Mike muttered. Suddenly a scream was heard throughout the base.
"What was that? Sounded like a girl… Or a sissy guy…" Betsy asked.
"That's not good." Mike said as he looked around. "Look like this base is in working condition…Barely."
"But what's with all the burn marks?" Betsy asked, looking at the ground.
"Guess they got attacked recently." Mike said. "Or something was set on fire." Mike mused as the two looked around.
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Came the scream as a whirlwind flashed by them.
"That sounded like Pietro." Mike stated.
"QUICKSILVER! GIVE ME BACK SERGENT SNUFFLES!" A strange man in a green ski mask screamed as he chased after Pietro.
"What?" Betsy asked.
"Search me." Mike said as the two heard maniacal laughter. They looked up to see three thirteen-year-old girls, wearing pink lab coats and goggles fly by.
"GET BACK HERE YOU PSYCHO'S!" Came the scream, followed by the earth shaking.
"Lance?" Betsy asked as the two turned around to see a younger version of Lance and Wanda running with a strange teenaged girl. She had long black hair with blue streaks in it.
"Wait up Yo!" A younger Toad shouted as he hopped after them, tied in duct tape.
"Little buddy?" Mike asked as he saw Toad.
"What the…" Toad said as he stopped and saw the two confused mutants. "Psylocke? What are you doing here? And who's this?" Todd asked.
"That's not funny buddy." Mike said as he grabbed the duct tape and tore Todd free. "What's going on? Who are the humming birds and the power ranger?" Mike said as he jerked his thumb back towards Trinity, who were now playing keep away with Quicksilver, keeping Beachhead from getting his beloved Teddy bear. "And why do you all look about three years younger?"
"What are you talking about?" Todd asked. "GUYS!" Toad shouted. Every one froze and turned to see what Toad was shouting about. This caused them to finally notice Mike and Betsy. A strange girl with bright white hair and dark skin flew out with a pair of gossamer butterfly wings, followed by a red head that was coated in flaming energy. A younger Blob was following them with a few older looking people.
"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore…" Mike gulped.
"What tipped you off?" Betsy quipped.
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A little later
"Wait..." Betsy said as she absorbed what the three thirteen-year-old girls told her. She was hooked up to a strange device with her husband, after the two of them had been... subdued by the younger Brotherhood. "Let me get this strait. All the mystical energy created a backlash, where me and Mike were sent to an alternate dimension?"
"Eh. It's nothing new." The young girl named Althea said shrugging her shoulders. "We encounter them all the time."
"Well excuse me if it's a lot to absorb." Betsy snapped.
"You'll have to excuse her." Mike simply. "It's our honeymoon and it really hasn't been going well. As such, she's a little cranky."
"Perfectly understandable." Said Roadblock.
"So can we get down now?" Mike asked. He and Betsy were both strapped down to one of Trinity's strange devices.
"Sure." Chirped Daria. Brittany pulled a lever, and Mike and Betsy unceremoniously fell to the ground.
"So, how is your reality different from ours?" Lance asked as he leaned against the wall.
"Well, lets compare." Mike said simply. "In our reality you're expecting twins with Pryde."
"YES!" Lance shouted, jerking his hand back and forth.
"I take it trouble here?" Betsy asked.
"You have no clue." Wanda replied rolling her eyes.
"Are you with Todd in this reality?" Mike asked Wanda.
"God no." Wanda said as she turned a strange green color.
"That would be me." Althea said with a smirk as she put her arm around Todd.
"She's my girl." Toad said with a smile.
"Hm. Weird." Mike replied. "I see you still have the mullet." Mike pointed out.
"What?" Toad asked.
"In our world you have short hair now, and you spike it out." Betsy replied.
"MY HAIR!" Todd screamed as he covered his head. "NO!"
"Weird." Everyone in the room said at once.
"Okay, what about me?" Pietro asked.
"You're an insane egomaniac daddy's boy obsessed with how perfect you are." Betsy answered.
"Same old, same old." Cover Girl quipped.
"Yea… HEY!" Pietro screamed.
"What about me?" Blob asked with a smile.
"Well, You're X-23's genetic cousin, and she lives with us by the way. And… You're just… there I guess." Mike said simply.
"Good old reliable Blob." Betsy said with a nod.
"Good." Blob said. "At least I'm not insane. Nice to see things work out."
"Okay, now let em see if I get this." Betsy said simply. "The Brotherhood was abandoned by Magneto, after he genetically altered them, and were taken in by a military organization called G.I. Joe. You're all now called the Misfits, and are government agents."
"The team consists of Althea, Lance, Wanda, Pietro, Fred, Todd, Shane, Arcade, a genetic experiment called Xi, Angelica, and Lina." Mike continued.
"This is true." Xi replied. "Would you like a hug?"
"Um… I'll pass." Mike retorted.
"Who gave Xi cookies?" Todd asked as he looked around.
"Don't forget us!" Quinn said with a smile.
"And me." Spyder replied from the ceiling.
"Spyder! Get down from there!" Cover Girl shouted.
"So you guys just basically train, fight terrorists, and annoy the X-Geeks." Mike said simply.
"Yep." Todd nodded.
"It's a simple life, but we enjoy it." Arcade replied with a smile. "That and building killer robots that eat out enemies underpants."
"Right then. Anyway we can get home?" Mike asked.
"Already working on it." Trinity chirped as they sat around a pile of random tech bit, wielding masks on as they began to build something.
"That's pretty disturbing." Mike said simply.
"No. What's disturbing is that they didn't go after you're underwear." Althea said.
"What?" Betsy demanded.
"Hey. He's married." Brittany replied.
"Yea. Even we have some standards." Quinn added.
"You do?" Lance and Althea asked with a look of disbelief.
"Yea." Daria answered. "When we want to that is." She added under her breath.
"Anyway, we should have the solution in a few hours." Quinn said.
"That fast?" Betsy said in disbelief.
"That slow?" Roadblock said at the same time.
"We yea." The girls all replied.
"So. What do you want to do?" Todd asked.
"I dunno." Betsy said.
"Still bummed out Bets?" Mike asked his wife.
"Yea." Betsy added with a sad smile.
"Well, we have just the cure." Xi said with a smile that the Misfits all shared.
"Trip to Xavier's anyone?" Pietro asked.
"I thought you would never ask." Althea replied with a wicked grin.
"KIDS! WAIT!" Roadblock shouted. But before he could react, the Misfits pressed their watches and were instantly teleported to Xavier's. Pietro had grabbed Mike and Lina grabbed Betsy, bringing to twosome along for the ride. "Why do I even bother?" Roadblock asked himself.
"We gonna get another call from Chuck?" Lowlight asked as he walked by.
"Yep." Cover Girl said simply. "Girls, get on that ASAP…" She said as she walked out of the room with Roadblock, leaving the Triplets alone. Which we all know is a very dangerous thing.
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Xavier's Hellhole… I mean institute"HELLLLOOOO!" Pietro called out.
"Oh no." Scott moaned as he saw the Misfits walk into the foyer with Mike and Betsy.
"Great, they're back." Jean moaned.
"Hey babe…" Shane said to Jubilee.
"Hey yourself Mr." Jubilee harrumphed as she crossed her arms.
"Cripes. What did I do now?" Shane asked as he threw his hands up in the air.
"Obviously your forgot what today is?" Jubilee hissed.
"Man do I recognize that look." Mike quipped to Todd.
"Dead man walking the Green Mile!" Todd shouted.
"It's not your birthday… It's not my birthday… no one died today…" Shane listed off. Okay. I give. What day is it?"
"It's our three month and two week anniversary you dip!" Jubilee screamed at him.
"You have got to be shittin' me…" Shane said in shock. "Three month and TWO WEEK?" Shane swore. "Girl, get a life…" Shane stated, before realizing that was not the wisest of things to say. Especially to a girl who's hand trained by Wolverine and X-23.
"Ouch…" Fred winced as Jubilee pounced on Shane.
"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Shane screamed as his girlfriend began to beat him.
"Same old, same old…" Wolverine muttered as he left the room, muttering about how there wasn't enough Liquor in the institute.
"Hi Kitty!" Lance called out with a smile. He walked over to where Kitty was sitting with Colossus, who was currently drawing her picture.
"Back off ruffian." Peter snapped. "We're busy…"
"MAKE ME TIN GRIN!" Lance shouted back. Soon the two were swapping blows and rolling on the ground.
"I take it this happens often around here?" Mike asked Althea.
"Yea. We usually ignore it, hoping it will go away." Althea responded.
"We're usually unsuccessful in that aspect as they're both still here." Todd quipped.
"Are those Bloody morons here again?" Psylocke asked as she walked into the room with Storm and Rogue.
"Oh my God…" Betsy said as she saw Psylocke.
"She looks kinda like me…" Psylocke said in absolute shock as she pointed at Betsy.
"You are me..." Betsy said in awe. "Back when I was in me Goth stage, before I became stuck in this Asian Body… "
"Wow." Mike said as he saw the younger Psylocke. "She was always a bomb shell." Mike mused as he looked at the younger version of his wife.
"And who is this stud…" Psylocke said as she saddled up to Mike.
"Um…" Mike stated in shock. "Uh oh…" Mike thought to himself. "Bets?"
"Yes…" Psylocke said seductively.
"That's my man…" Betsy snapped.
"Interesting predicament." Pietro mused with Blob.
"Yes it is... How?" Blob asked.
"You'll see." Pietro said with a sly grin.
"Betsy?" Mike asked innocently. "It really isn't cheating, is it?" Mike asked in a confused voice. "I mean it's still you… Just jailbait you…"
"I know you did not just ask that question…" Betsy said in a venomous voice.
"Well um… Help?" Mike asked as he looked around in terror.
"More interdimensional travelers?" Nightcrawler asked Todd.
"Yep. To think, I thought we saw it all." Todd replied.
"Please don't remind me of the Interdimensional Dementia…" Cyclops muttered as he walked away.
"Uh…" Mike muttered as he stood between a rock and a hard place. "Hm… Jailbait Betsy…" Mike thought. "Or the woman I married. Or both…" Mike thought as the image played through his head.
"I heard that mister…" Psylocke said. "And I like it…" She hissed seductively.
"Help me…" Mike said in desperation to his wife.
"Kinky…" Psylocke said.
"Back off and find your own toy." Betsy said as she pulled Psylocke off of her husband.
"Thank you God…" Mike breathed out.
"I'm not anywhere near done with you Mr. Nagrite." Betsy hissed.
"Yes Miss Nagrite. Great. This honeymoon blows." Mike muttered to himself, as Lance and Peter rolled by on the ground fighting. Somewhere in the background, there was the peal of Thunder and a few explosions.
"I hope that doesn't happen to us." Todd said to Althea.
"Ah… You're so sweet…" Althea said before she tackled Todd.
"NOT THE LIGHTNING!" Shipwreck screamed as he ran by.
Where did Shipwreck come from?" Arcade asked. "I though we had him tied up back on base."
"Who knows…" Xi said as he munched on a bag of Chips Ahoy. "Cookie?"
"WHO GAVE XI COOKIES!" Arcade screamed.
"Insanity, Misfits is thy name." Betsy muttered.
"God I hope those three girls are finished soon." Mike muttered as he saw Psylocke starring at him from across the room, making kissy faces at him. "No! Bad Thoughts…No Jailbait Betsy…" Mike muttered to himself.
"You are so cut off when we get home." Betsy muttered under her breath.
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A little later
"HELLO!" Trinity chirped as they materialized in the Mansion. The gathered youths were all laying around, various scorch marks on their bodies and singed clothing.
"See." Todd began. "I told you Angelica hated Kitty more than she hated Amara."
"I see." Mike said as he looked at the small fires that were currently being put out by various Jamie's.
"Hello Jamie!" The girls all sang out.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Jamie screamed as he ran off, the Girls chasing him.
"KISSY KISSY KISSY KISSY!"
"HELP ME!"
"God this reality is insane…" Betsy muttered.
"You have no idea." Lance said as he walked by with a black eye.
"Da." Peter agreed as he walked by, missing a front tooth.
"GIRLS!" Mike shouted as he used his tendricals to catch the triplets. "Traumatize Multiple later. Right now, just get us out of here!"
"Yea. Our realities insanity is bad enough, we don't need this ones as well." Betsy mocked.
"Et Tu Bets…" Mike hissed.
"Okay. Just push this button. You'll be teleported back to your reality, wherever you want." Daria said as she pointed at the strange device. "Can we go back to our lover boy now?"
"FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY! SAY NO!" Jamie shrieked.
"Sure." Mike said as he let the girls go.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Jamie screamed as he ran away in abject fear.
"Ready?" Mike asked his wife.
"Just push the damn button and get us out of here." Betsy said as she pushed the button, opening up a portal.
"Ya'll come back now ya hear!" Todd called out as he and the Misfits waved good-bye.
"NO!" Mike and Betsy shouted as they jumped through the portal. The portal closed after them.
"Hm… Such nice people." Althea stated. "We may have to pay them a visit."
"Yes. We defiantly should." Pietro grinned.
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Back in my universe…"We're home…" Mike said as he and Betsy materialized in their hotel room.
"One insane author is bad enough… But two?" Betsy swore.
"Fourth wall Bets…" Mike reminded her.
"Whatever. This Honeymoon was a complete washout." Betsy muttered.
"Wanna bet?" Mike said, as he swept up his wife in a passionate kiss.
"Then again, it does have its perks…" Betsy giggled as she broke the kiss. "How many days do we have left?"
"One." Mike replied.
"Better make it count." Betsy said with a smile.
"Damn strait…" Mike quipped as he pulled his wife back into the kiss.
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Well. Their you have it. Omega and Psylockes Honeymoon. Defiantly not what they expected, huh? Well. These two will be returning to BHC soon, so all I have to say is thanks once again to L1701E and Dragon of the Eternal Flame. You guys rock. Peace out and review folks,
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