'When I was three, my dad got very sick. He couldn't get better...and he died.'
"Kyo, I really wish you'd take some time to actually lie down and try to shake that cold," Tohru said, looking across Kazuma's living room table at her husband. Kyo, in the process of trying to convince almost four-year-old Hajime to eat more than a bite of his breakfast, looked back at her with a small smile, followed by a sniffle.
"I know, Tohru, I know. And I will, later, when we have a little more time. Maybe tomorrow afternoon, or possibly the day after that, when we're not so busy."
Tohru gave him a stern look, then sighed and turned her attention back to seven-month-old Katsuro, who was wildly flailing his fists at the bowl of mashed carrots she was feeding him.
"You're not going to get better if you keep pushing yourself too much; what kind of example are you setting for the boys?"
"The kind of example where a guy with two wild children doesn't get to just lay around all day, even on vacation," Kyo said, looking at Hajime who was pushing his food bowls around on the table.
"But Daddy, I don't like this breakfast," Hajime was whining, and Kyo sighed.
"It's the same food we eat at home, Hajime. Mommy even made it, just like at home."
"Oh." Hajime sank down at the table and eyeballed the food, then sat up. "I don't like the food in these bowls."
"Hajime!" Now it was Tohru's turn to frown. "That was very rude, what do you say to Grandpa Kazuma?"
"Sorry, Granpa," Hajime mumbled, slithering back under the table, or at least attempting to. Kyo caught him by the arm and pulled him back up, but not before coughing into his elbow for what felt like the dozenth time already that morning.
"It's alright, Hajime, but I really think you ought to try tasting your breakfast. Your mother did a wonderful job," Kazuma said, smiling at her, then turned to frown at Kyo. "You know, Kyo, I think Tohru has a point. You sound even worse this morning than you did yesterday."
"You, too?" Kyo chuckled, then coughed again, grimacing slightly at the timing. "Sorry about the coughing, really. And I'm gonna wear a mask when we go out, don't worry. But it's fine, it's just a cold. I'm not gonna leave you to juggle the boys on your own today, Tohru, and that's that."
Tohru and Kazuma exchanged a glance and Tohru sighed, then shrugged. "Fine, but tomorrow you are staying home and sleeping, do you understand?"
"Yeah yeah, I understand. But you're worrying about nothing, Tohru," Kyo said, smiling at her as he sat Hajime back up.
"It's just a cold."
It was January 3rd, and Tohru and Kyo were in Tokyo for their annual New Year's visit. This trip had easily been their most hectic yet; between Hajime and Katsuro, neither Tohru or Kyo had had a moment's peace on the train down from Hibe, the small town in Aomori prefecture that they all called home. And to make things even more fun, Kyo had picked up a cold in the last day or two before leaving, so he'd been stuffy and wearing a mask the entire trip, which had annoyed him to no end.
In general, Kyo was incredibly healthy and proud of it. Even colds were few and far between, so catching one now, right when it was time to travel, was immensely aggravating. But there wasn't a lot he could do about it, other than try his best not to spread it and to drink plenty of ginger tea.
He hated tea.
It had been almost a week of his cold at this point, and he was ready to be over it. But as much as he agreed that Tohru maaaaaaaybe had a point about him taking some time to rest, he couldn't justify it just yet. They were always busy at New Year's; even with them taking a full week to be there, there were so many people they wanted to see and so much they always wanted to do that they tended to be on the move for almost the entire visit.
And two young kids, especially two energetic young kids, did not make things any easier.
Today, they were going to be taking the boys to meet up with Hatsuharu and Rin and their two-and-a-half-year-old twins, along with Yuki, Machi, and three-year-old Mutsuki. Haru had used his connections to get them all a private booking of a winter wonderland village, and Hajime was so excited about the prospect of exploring it that he could barely stand it.
Or eat, for that matter.
"Hajime, we're not gonna be getting any other food for a long time. If you don't wanna eat now, you're probably gonna be hungry later. And if you wanna be hungry at the Winter Wonderland, that's fine, but you're probably not gonna have much fun."
Hajime was eyeing his father suspiciously, his eyes darting back and forth between Kyo and the food.
"We're also not gonna leave for a while yet, so you not eating isn't gonna get us there any faster."
At that, Hajime sighed, then grudgingly picked up his chopsticks and started eating. And Kyo sat back with a triumphant smile before once again turning to cough.
Kazuma frowned once again. "Kyo, are you really sure you ought to go out? Even with a mask, you could be contagious."
"I checked with Haru and Yuki, and they said it's fine. Everyone gets colds this time of year, it's nothing new. And I'll be fine." Kyo rolled his eyes, looking from Tohru to Kazuma with a smile. "Isn't it enough to have two actual kids here to parent, without worrying about me, too?"
Tohru frowned at him, not appreciating his attempt at levity. But then she sighed; he did have a point. He was an adult, she really ought to trust him to manage his own health.
Within reason.
"Just so long as you remember that you are going to bed as soon as we get home tonight, and tomorrow you are taking it easy," she stressed, and Kyo smiled.
"Yeah, yeah, I know."
The day was hectic, but they all had a lot of fun. It was wonderful to get to spend the time with their cousins, and to have the time to properly catch up on their lives. The four older children were beyond delighted with the Winter Wonderland, and they also loved it when they all got to go sliding on an ice skating rink later, too. Tohru was glad that Katsuro gave her an excuse to sit and watch; she was clumsy enough on regular ground, she did not need to see what happened to her on ice. Machi wasn't a skater either, so she sat and kept Tohru company as they watched the others, and Tohru had to smile at the sight of her husband showing Hajime how to find and keep his balance.
They all had a good laugh when Hatsuharu challenged Yuki and Kyo to a skating race. Even though it had been years since high school, you never would have been able to tell from the enthusiasm with which Kyo and Yuki accepted.
Tohru was a little peeved with Kyo for accepting, however, especially after the race when he was struggling to catch his breath for a while. "Kyo, you're sick! You're not supposed to be pushing yourself too hard!"
Kyo was sitting on the ground next to Tohru, a water bottle in his hand and a resigned expression on his face. "Yeah, yeah, I know. But it's fine, Tohru. I just need a bit of time to recover, that's all."
Tohru sighed, looking back out at the ice where Yuki had taken Hajime but was glancing back at the two of them with concern. "Kyo, are you sure this is just a cold? It's been six days now, and I swear it's getting worse instead of better."
"What, just because I'm coughing a lot more?" He was trying to tease her, but the effect was hampered somewhat by the fact he was still breathing heavily, and at the look she gave him he sighed. "Ok, yeah, it doesn't seem to be getting better, but I'm still pretty sure it's just a cold. It's been so long since I've been sick at all, it must just be hitting me extra hard for whatever reason. But you don't have to worry about me," he said, putting his hand on her knee and squeezing it. "I promise, I'll take it easy the rest of the day. No races, no running, of any kind. And I'm gonna go to bed as soon as we get home, don't worry about it."
Tohru still wasn't completely convinced, but she did feel a lot better that he wasn't fighting her on it. And as far as she could tell he'd lived up to his word for the rest of the day, passing on any additional races or roughhousing.
It was a lovely day and they all enjoyed themselves, but Tohru was admittedly relieved when it was time to say goodbye and for their little family to head back to the dojo. Even with the group of them to distract her she'd noticed that Kyo had barely eaten at supper, and that he was starting to look extremely worn down.
When they finally got back to Kazuma's house, Kyo had no sooner taken off his shoes than Tohru was pushing him towards the stairs. "Alright, Kyo, you've had your fun, now go to bed."
The grin he gave her at that comment was enough to make her blush, but she was smiling as she gave him one more push. "By yourself. You need sleep, and I expect you to get it."
"Yeah, yeah," he said, giving her a hug. "In all seriousness, I feel like I could just about pass out right here in the hallway, so you're not gonna get a fight from me."
"Is Daddy gonna go to bed," Hajime asked, looking up at Kyo with rounded eyes, and Kyo nodded.
"Yup."
"That's right," Tohru said firmly. "Daddy isn't feeling that well, so he'd going to go sleep because rest is good for our bodies when we're sick!"
"That's right," Kyo said, "And Mommy knows her stuff when it comes to people being sick. So I'm gonna listen to her and sleep, and I'll see you in the morning, ok Hajime? Be good for Mommy and Grandpa until bedtime."
Hajime's eyes lit up as he realized he got to stay up later than Kyo. "Night-night, Daddy, feel better!" Then he bolted down the hall to the living room, looking for Kazuma.
Kyo stared after him for a moment, then chuckled at Tohru. "At least one person in this family isn't too worried about me."
Tohru smiled after Hajime, then looked back at Kyo. "Sleep well, rest up, feel better. I love you," she added, her voice soft.
"Always and forever," Kyo said with a smile, then turned and headed up the stairs.
When Tohru finally settled into their futon later that night, Kyo was fast asleep, and she was relieved. In spite of Kyo's assurances, she still wasn't totally sure he just had a cold, and even his impressive immune system had to have a few weak spots. The past few days had been busy, but tomorrow, she was going to make him stay in this futon if it killed her.
That was what Tohru was thinking when she fell asleep, anyway. And she slept soundly and peacefully, right up until something forcefully jolted her awake.
At first, she was disoriented, trying to figure out the source of the aggressive shove that had practically pushed her out of the futon. But before she could process that, she was aware of a sound, a rapid, intense huffing sound accompanied by a sharp clicking.
Tohru was wide awake in an instant, turning and looking at Kyo. In the light of the nightlight, she could tell at once that he was shivering, shivering with such intensity that he was practically convulsing. Along with the shivering his teeth were chattering, which was the clicking sound she'd heard, and the huffing...
Her eyes widened as she realized that it was Kyo breathing, or rather, struggling to breath. She reached out a hand to touch him, to brush the hair out of his face but instinctively jerked back at the intense heat radiating off of him. Then she brought her hand back and laid it on his forehead: he might be shivering, but he felt like he was on fire.
Suddenly Tohru was afraid, more afraid of anything than she'd been in a very long time. "Kyo?" Getting no response, she repeated with more urgency, shaking on his shoulder. "Kyo?"
He didn't respond, only continued to shake and to wheeze. And Tohru rose to her feet without thinking, opening the door and racing down the hall.
Stopping in front of Kazuma's door, Tohru started knocking, her heart racing in her chest. "Master Kazuma? Master Kazuma?" The karate master had always been a heavy sleeper, how long should she give him to wake up?
Fortunately she didn't have to wait long before Kazuma opened the door, his expression anxious. "What is it, Tohru, what's wrong?"
Tohru took a breath, "It's Kyo; I just woke up, and he's shaking, and he's so hot, and he's...he's..."
Kazuma didn't wait for Tohru to finish speaking before he was hurrying down the hall to their room, Tohru right at his heels. And she couldn't help but hear the way Kazuma sucked in his breath when he saw the way Kyo was shuddering, or heard the way he was breathing.
Dropping down beside him, Kazuma put his hand on Kyo's head for only a moment before rising back to his feet and looking at Tohru. "Go get a cold towel for his head, Tohru; I'm going to call Hatori."
A towel...that was a good idea. Nodding numbly, Tohru flew down the stairs to the kitchen, opening the towel drawer with trembling hands. Then she soaked it in cold water from the kitchen tap, racing back up the stairs and back to their room to lay it over Kyo's forehead. He hadn't changed at all since she'd left, and he didn't react when she set the towel on him. Somehow, that lack of response made it that much more terrifying.
It felt like an eternity before Kazuma returned, Hatori striding rapidly into the room in front of him. "I'm sorry, Tohru, but I need you to move," Hatori said, his voice as calm and firm as ever. And once again Tohru nodded in the same numb way, moving to stand beside Kazuma and watch as Hatori quickly examined Kyo.
She didn't know what she expected, or what she was hoping for, but Hatori's expression never changed from focused concentration as he rapidly checked Kyo's temperature and pulse, listened to his lungs and heartbeat and checked his extremities. And his mouth was still set in the same firm line when he finally stood up and walked over to Kazuma and Tohru.
"I can't say for certain, but my best guess based on what I'm seeing is pneumonia. We should take him to the hospital, immediately."
Pneumonia.
Tohru felt like her heart had dropped out of her chest, and suddenly she herself couldn't breathe. Pneumonia. Pneumonia. Kyo had pneumonia.
Kyo couldn't have pneumonia, people died from pneumonia!
Hatori was still talking, but Tohru couldn't hear him. All she could hear was that word, hammering itself into her brain over and over to the accompaniment of Kyo's labored breathing.
"Tohru, I asked if that's ok," Hatori said, and Tohru looked up at him with wide, terrified eyes.
"I'm so sorry, Hatori, what?" She couldn't panic right now, she needed to pay attention. She needed to help him, however she could.
Hatori repeatedly, patiently but quickly, "I'm going to take Kyo to the hospital in the car. It'll be faster than waiting for an ambulance, as long as you're alright with that."
How could she possibly not be alright with that? "Of course, Hatori, that's fine. Please, let's go right now!" She said that without thinking; Kyo had to go, and she had to go with him, there was absolutely no question. But then she froze, realizing what she was forgetting.
Kazuma's hand was on her arm. "Go, Tohru. I'll stay here with the boys. They'll be fine, I promise."
Tohru practically melted with relief, giving Kazuma a teary-eyed look of gratitude. And Kazuma tried to smile in return, but his eyes as they flicked to Kyo belied his fear.
Hatori was brisk. "Tohru, why don't you get dressed. Kazuma, can you help me get Kyo out to the car?"
"Of course. I'll wake Kunimitsu, he can help us as well."
Tohru hated to leave Kyo for even an instant, but she had to trust Hatori and Kazuma. Grabbing some clothes, she raced to the bathroom to get dressed, then grabbed her purse and flew down the stairs and across the courtyard. She caught up to them just as they were loading Kyo into the car, and it made Tohru's heart drop once again to see how unresponsive he was; he might have been a doll, for how aware he seemed to be of where he was and what was going on.
Turning to Kazuma, Tohru tried to talk without her voice shaking. "Everything you should need for the boys is in their bag...and Katsuro's formula and bottles are on the kitchen counter...and if you need anything-"
Kazuma took Tohru in his arms and gave her a crushing hug. "We'll manage, Tohru, don't worry about us. You just focus on Kyo, and please let me know as soon as you know anything."
Tohru nodded, unable to say anything else as her tears overwhelmed her. Then she climbed in the car, and they were on their way to the hospital.
It felt surreal, to be driving along like this with Hatori. Hatori himself was the picture of stoicism, while Tohru herself was in tears and Kyo's labored breathing filled the car like a ghastly form of background noise.
"How long has he been sick?" Hatori's voice suddenly cut through the sounds, calm and quiet as it was, and Tohru fought to steady herself enough to answer.
"Six...days. Though it only...really...started to get worse...the last couple." And she'd known that. She'd known that, and she'd still let him talk her out making him go to bed. Making him take care of himself, the way he should have been doing, all along.
The way she should have been doing, all along.
Hatori nodded quietly, and she could tell he was thinking. About what, she couldn't say, and she hated that he wasn't telling her.
It couldn't be a good sign, that he wasn't telling her.
"You should try to calm yourself, Tohru. They'll be able to help him at the hospital no matter what. And he's young, and healthy-"
"So was my dad," Tohru said softly, and Hatori immediately broke off to glance at her.
"He had pneumonia, too, and he was almost two years younger than Kyo."
Things moved rapidly once they got to the hospital, but it still didn't feel fast enough. All Tohru could see and hear was Kyo, though she was vaguely aware of Hatori talking to the medical staff. They wouldn't let her come in with them right away, which was terrifying; Hatori immediately offered to stay with her, but she wanted him to go. If Kyo came to, she wanted there to be someone around him that he'd recognize.
Someone who could tell Tohru what was going on.
So she sat, alone, listening to her heart hammering against the inside of her chest while she tried not to think all the awful thoughts running through her head.
He was going to be fine. They were at the hospital. They would take care of him. They saw this sort of thing all the time, and he was young and healthy...
Just like her dad had been. Young, and healthy, with a three-year-old at home. And a wife who'd loved him.
Tohru couldn't take it anymore, collapsing forward with her face in her hands. Why hadn't she pushed him harder to rest? Why hadn't she taken better care of him? Why had she let him do this to himself, to end up here, fighting to breathe? Fighting to burn away the infection raging inside of him?
Why hadn't she been more careful?
"Mrs. Sohma?"
Tohru looked up to see an unfamiliar doctor standing there, along with Hatori, and she started to stand up. But Hatori stopped her, and she sat back down as she said "Yes?" in a quavery voice.
The unknown doctor glanced at Hatori, then back at Tohru. "Mrs. Sohma, your husband has a rather severe case of double pneumonia-"
Double pneumonia? Tohru didn't even know what that meant, other than that it sounded terrifying, and she had to fight not to immediately burst back into tears.
"-and he has a dangerously high fever. We've started him on some fluids and some medication, but we'll have to give him some time to see how he responds."
Tohru didn't understand. "So, is he..." she swallowed hard, unable to continue, and Hatori answered quietly.
"We don't know yet, Tohru, and we might not know for some time. With his fever so high he's currently not able to talk or even respond; I doubt he even knows what's going on."
"Oh," Tohru said, her eyes once again starting to overflow, and Hatori stepped forward and hugged her. It felt strange, to hug Hatori, but the contact was exactly what she needed right then and she held him tightly, trying to breathe and to calm herself down.
"He's going to get the best possible care, Tohru, I promise you." Stepping back, Hatori glanced at the other doctor, then back to Tohru. "Would you like to go in with him now?"
Tohru's eyes widened. That had been an option all this time, and they'd just been standing around in the hall? "Yes please," she said immediately, starting off in the direction they'd come from without even waiting for them to move.
"You can stay with him as long as you'd like, Mrs. Sohma. If we need you to leave for any reason, we'll be sure to let you know."
Tohru could only manage a nod, but that was enough. With a last quick murmur to Hatori, the other doctor gave Tohru a "Good night, Mrs. Sohma," then withdrew.
Hatori's hand was on her shoulder. "Is there anything else I can do for you right now, Tohru?"
She shook her head, reaching up to squeeze his hand. She wished she could find the words right now to thank him, but she couldn't speak. She couldn't even open her mouth, not with emotion threatening to spill out and devour her. All she could do was sit, and touch, and hope it would be enough.
It was. Hatori returned the squeeze, then withdrew his hand. "I'll be back tomorrow to check in. If there are any developments, if you have any problems, or you need help with anything, please don't hesitate to call me, whatever the time."
She nodded, looking up at Hatori gratefully. He'd always been so kind to her; even now, he was still so incredibly kind.
But it was also a bit of a relief when he was gone, and Tohru could be alone with Kyo.
It was hard to look at him, lying there in the hospital bed. There was an IV in his hand, and an oxygen canula in his nose. His breathing was more normal-sounding now, probably due to the oxygen, but his chest was still rising and falling heavily, and he was still trembling slightly. In the lights of the hospital room she could see his face twitching; his eyes were closed, but his face was shifting rapidly from expression to expression, from pain to anger to fear and to others that passed by so rapidly she couldn't identify them.
Was he dreaming, in his fever? Or was this something else?
Did he even know?
Reaching out, Tohru took Kyo's hand in hers. His hand was twitching, like the rest of him, but otherwise lay slack; there was no squeeze in response to hers, no gentle threading of his fingers in hers. And somehow, that small lack of response was too much.
Leaning forward, Tohru rested her head on the bed beside Kyo, his unresponsive hand clenched tightly in hers, and cried.
Tohru sat up and looked around, wiping the sleep from her eyes. At first she didn't know where she was; everything looked unfamiliar, and very large. Everything seemed to tower above her; the cabinets, the table. So many strange, giant things, things she didn't recognize, and yet...
Turning, she caught her breath at the sight of orange hair, floating in the breeze coming in through an open window. But it was too long to be Kyo's, too long, and too light.
Wait...
"Mommy?"
She heard her voice, high-pitched and unsure. It didn't sound like her; it sounded like a little girl, not a grown woman. But at the word, the woman at the window turned, and Tohru sucked in another breath.
Kyoko's eyes were red-rimmed, and tears were running down her face. But the eyes behind those tears were soulless; dark, and empty, lacking in light. Tohru felt the urge to run to her; to hug her. To comfort her, and to tell her than everything would be alright.
But she couldn't.
"He's gone, Tohru." Kyoko's voice was ragged, rough-edged with emotion that seemed at odds with the eerily still way she was standing. "He's gone...and he's never coming back."
"No..." Tohru whispered, her voice still high-pitched. "It's not true, he's going to be ok!"
"He's not, Tohru. I'm sorry, but he's not. They can try all they want, but it won't change anything. It won't stop it." Kyoko looked at Tohru with those teary, lifeless eyes, then said softly, "It won't bring him back."
"No!"
Tohru sat bolt upright, blinking her eyes rapidly as she looked around the room. She was still sitting in Kyo's hospital room, she realized, and she'd fallen asleep...
Her eyes flared, and she looked immediately at Kyo. Even though he looked largely the same as he'd looked earlier, it was a relief to see his chest moving, to see the shifts and twitches in his face and body. He was still here...he was still alive.
Tohru let out a long, slow breath, then looked at the clock on the wall. 10:03...how long had she been asleep? Looking back at the previous night, she realized she didn't even know how long they'd been here; she couldn't remember what time it had been when she first woke up at home, or what time they'd arrived at the hospital. Everything was a blur, from the first terrifying moments at home until whatever time it had been that she'd fallen asleep. And the whole time, Kyo...
Reaching out, Tohru took his hand and squeezed it. Just like last night, he was unresponsive, and Tohru had to fight back the urge to start crying. But he was alive, she reminded herself. He was alive, and he was being taken care of, and she...she was here.
"I'm here, Kyo," she said softly, squeezing his hand again. "I'm here, right by your side."
The day felt like it dragged on forever. Periodically someone would come in to check on Kyo, but there were no significant changes as the morning passed into the afternoon. Someone brought Tohru some lunch, and she forced herself to eat it while watching him. At one point she was asked to leave the room so a doctor could do some tests, and Tohru took the opportunity to update Kazuma on Kyo's progress, or lack thereof. Then it was back to the room, and back to Kyo's side.
At one point in the afternoon Tohru's phone rang, and she noted it was Yuki before answering it with a trembling "Hello?"
Yuki's voice was gentle and sympathetic. "Tohru, I heard what happened, I'm so sorry."
Tohru's eyes started to well up once again, and she gave a mighty sniffle to try to force back the sobs. "Thank you, Yuki, that's very kind."
"Have there been any changes?"
Tohru sniffled again, then again, trying to calm herself enough to answer. But the lack of answer was enough for Yuki.
"I'm so sorry, Tohru, and sorry for upsetting you. The reason I'm calling is that Machi and I were wondering if we could maybe take the boys for you while Kyo is...recovering."
Tohru was surprised, and that surprise was enough to stop her crying. "Yuki, I couldn't possibly-"
"-Please, Tohru. We want to do something to help you, anything. You're going to need a break, and it could be beneficial for you to have Sensei with you in the hospital."
Yuki certainly had a point, and Tohru realized with a pang how hard it had to be for Master Kazuma to be away from Kyo right now. He had offered to stay with the boys without even thinking, but how much more would he rather be here?
She let out a long, shuddery breath. "If you're really sure it's not too much-"
"-It's not, Tohru, not at all."
Tohru was quiet for a moment, holding the phone with tears dripping down her face. Then she collected herself, even managing a tiny smile. "I'll call Master Kazuma and let him know. When can he expect you?"
"I'll be on the next train."
Tohru sighed softly, then murmured, her voice shaky, "Thank you, Yuki."
"We're praying for him, Tohru."
As she hung up the phone, Tohru felt her lip quiver as she looked over at Kyo. They had so many people helping them...
That had to mean he'd get better.
Hatori stopped in shortly after her call with Yuki, and Tohru was grateful, even if he didn't have much he could tell her. Kyo was still fighting the fever, and still working on the infection...and that was pretty much it.
Kazuma turned up a couple hours later, a small bag in his hand. "I hope you excuse the intrusion, Tohru, but I brought you a change of clothes, along with your cell phone charger and Kyo's phone. I thought you might want them, if you were planning to stay another night. But I'd also encourage you to go home and sleep, if you can tonight; I'll stay here with him," he said softly, looking at Kyo.
Tohru was touched. "That was so thoughtful of you, Master Kazuma, thank you so very much. And I appreciate the offer," she said, looking from Kazuma back to Kyo, "But I want to stay here with him. I want to be here, when he wakes up," she said softly, squeezing Kyo's hand.
Kazuma nodded. He'd suspected that would be the case, which is why he'd felt confident enough to go into Tohru's suitcase in the first place.
And he couldn't blame her.
"Have there been any changes since before," he asked, looking at Kyo, and Tohru had to shake her head.
"Nothing significant. Though they did say his fever is starting to come down, so that's a good thing!"
"Indeed," Kazuma said, letting out a quiet sigh. The fever had been extremely concerning; while the infection itself was obviously no joke, Kyo's temperature had been flirting with dangerous levels. "Hopefully it continues to go down, and he can actually talk to us, soon."
Tohru could only nod her head to that. "Did you have any trouble, sending the boys off with Yuki?"
Kazuma shook his head. "No. Hajime was very excited to have a sleepover with Mutsuki, and Katsuro was asleep," he said with a smile. "I packed a few changes of clothing, some toys, all of the extra diapers and wipes, the formula and bottles...and Yuki said they'll figure it out if I forgot anything."
Tohru actually managed a laugh at that; she didn't doubt they would, but she hoped that they didn't have to. Considering how energetic Mutsuki was and how energetic Hajime was, she could only hope that the two of them and a baby wouldn't wear Yuki and Machi out too quickly!
"Hopefully they don't have to keep them for too long," she said softly, looking back at Kyo.
"I agree," was Kazuma's quiet rejoinder.
Late that night, after Kazuma had left and it was just Tohru and Kyo again, Tohru sat beside Kyo and watched his face. He wasn't twitching nearly as often any more, and his expression changes weren't nearly as rapid. She was trying to take solace in that, but it was hard; the longer this went on, the harder it became.
She reached up, smoothing back Kyo's bangs. He was still sweaty, she noted, but at least he no longer felt like he was on fire, and that had to be a good thing. For a little while she let her hand linger, but then withdrew; it felt wrong, to touch him like that with no acknowledgement.
Sitting back down in her chair, Tohru reached down and took his hand once more, once more feeling the now-familiar slackness. How long had it been, since she held his hand without him immediately working his fingers through hers?
'I can hold your hand...and stay with you?'
Once again, Tohru was crying, the tears tracing a well-worn path down her cheeks as she looked at him. It had been nine and a half years since she'd asked him that, nine and a half years of her holding his hand. Of him smiling at her, of him holding her close. Of him being at her side. Laughing together. Struggling together. Loving together. She thought of Kyo's face that day so long ago at her parents' grave, when he'd told her his plans for a future that involved living and asked her to go with him. Of the two of them laughing excitedly as he spun her around in his arms the very first time they stepping into their rental house, their first home all of their own. Of him flustered and annoyed, but incredibly determined, when he first started learning how to do laundry.
She thought about the two of them cooking together, how he would offer her his chopsticks to taste whatever he was working on. About them going on walks together, hand in hand. About the night he'd proposed to her.
The day he'd married her.
His face, the very first time she saw him hold Hajime.
The way he always looked at her, as though she was the most perfect woman in the world...
Once again, Tohru's head collapsed down onto the bed, pillowing against her free arm as the sobs poured out of her. But with her other hand, she still clung tightly to his.
"You...can't...leave me...Kyo. You...said...always." She hiccupped, her voice breaking. "Always...and...forever. I can't...you can't..." She hiccupped again, then gave up, simply sobbing into the blanket until she cried herself to sleep.
Don't leave me...
When Tohru finally sat up again, she was startled to see Master Kazuma sitting in the room's other chair, and she jumped. Kazuma gave her an apologetic smile, reaching out and patting her arm.
"I'm sorry, please forgive me, Tohru. I didn't know how long you'd been asleep, so I didn't want to wake you."
Tohru was definitely starting to feel the effects of spending two nights sleeping in a chair, but she appreciated the thought. Stretching slightly, she glanced over at the clock, surprised to see that it was already after nine. It had been late when she'd dozed off the previous night, though, so she probably shouldn't be surprised.
Automatically, her gaze flicked back to Kyo, who at first glance appeared to be the same as he'd been. But she was relieved to notice that his breathing sounded almost completely normal now, and his chest was rising and falling in a much steadier manner.
Hopefully that was a good sign.
"He looks better, I think," Kazuma said quietly, almost as if he was reading her mind. "His breathing, and the lack of agitation."
Tohru nodded her agreement, though it felt almost dangerous to do so. "He does. And he doesn't feel nearly as hot now, though I don't know quite what that means for his actual temperature. He's still not responding, though," she said sadly, squeezing his hand.
Kazuma gave her another reassuring look. "If it's been the fever affecting him, then hopefully this means that he'll be waking up any time now."
"But what if it wasn't," Tohru almost whispered, looking at Kyo's closed eyes. "What if it was the infection, or because he wasn't getting enough oxygen, or-"
"Tohru." Kazuma's voice was gentle, but incredibly firm, and she promptly cut herself off. "He's a fighter, Tohru, remember that. He always has been, and he probably always will be. We just have to have faith."
She knew that Kazuma was trying to be encouraging, she really did. And she appreciated all that he was trying to do. But it was one thing for him to say something like that, and another thing completely for her to believe it.
She hated how easy it was for her to cry. All her life, she'd battled with her tears; any strong emotion, and she had welled up like a fountain. Happy, sad, even angry, tears were a constant presence in her life, and she felt them coming on yet again now.
Of course.
Looking away from Kazuma, Tohru locked her gaze on Kyo's still face.
"Master Kazuma...have I ever told you what happened to my dad?"
There was a long pause, then Kazuma quietly said "I understand that he passed on when you were young, but besides that, I don't believe so."
Tohru's voice was soft. "When I was three years old, a few months younger than Hajime is now, he was away on a business trip. He had a cold, and it turned into pneumonia. And he...died." Reflexively, she squeezed Kyo's hand. "And Mom didn't even have a chance to see him, or tell him goodbye."
There was another long pause. "Tohru, I'm so sorry. But please try to remember that this is something completely different. You were with Kyo, and he's in the hospital, receiving excellent care and improving," Kazuma emphasized.
Tohru's tears were increasing. "I know that, Master Kazuma, logically I know that. But I can't help...I can't help seeing him here, and thinking about then. How I barely even knew my dad, and how for so long after he...died...all I could do was resent him! Because I was so afraid Mom was going to follow him, because she was so lost after he..." She broke off, wiping aggressively at her face.
"And looking at Kyo like this...I can understand, Master Kazuma, I can actually understand. I didn't back then. Mom had me, it should have been enough. But if something happens to Kyo, then I...I just..."
She allowed herself to finally start sobbing again as Kazuma folded her tightly into a hug. "I know that it's hard right now, Tohru, believe me, I know. But don't let yourself think such things, no matter how tempting they might seem. Kyo is strong, but he needs you to be strong for him right now as well. We need to think positively, to remember that however it might look right now he is getting better."
Kazuma's voice was surprisingly fierce, and Tohru wondered if what he was saying was actual fact or just Kazuma trying to force it to become one by the sheer power of his conviction.
But either way...it was encouraging.
Sitting back up, Tohru wiped her eyes again. "You're right, Master Kazuma. I need to be strong." Looking back at the bed, Tohru repeated softly, "he needs me to be strong."
Morning gave way to afternoon, which gave way to evening. Kazuma tried to convince Tohru to go back to the dojo and get a proper sleep, but she once again refused, and finally he left her, once again alone with Kyo. And Tohru prepared herself for a third night, wondering how many more there would be before they could go home.
Or before he would wake up.
Returning from the bathroom, Tohru stood for a long time beside the bed, looking once more at Kyo. At his tubes, and the softly beeping machines beside the bed. Machines that were taking care of him, she reminded herself. That were helping him.
Sitting back down in her chair, Tohru looked up at his face and smiled sadly. He almost looked like he was sleeping normally now; for the past few hours, she'd actually wondered if he was. His breathing was normal, and his face looked peaceful; that had to be a good sign, right?
It had to be a good sign.
Like so many other things.
Taking a quiet breath, Tohru looked back at Kyo's hand, lying on the bed with the fingers slightly curled. The same way it had the entire time he was here, unless she was holding it. And once again, she reached out, taking that hand in hers.
Then she sucked in a sudden breath, her eyes flaring as Kyo's fingers slowly tightened around her hand, then shifted. She stared, hardly daring to breathe, as his fingers slipped between hers, interlacing with them before he bent his to lock both of their hands in place.
She was trembling, she realized, and still staring at their hands. It felt like she was frozen in place, unable to move, unable to look away, afraid if she moved at all she would break the spell and his hand would once again relax and fall back limp. But she had to move, she had to look...
It felt like she was moving in slow motion as she turned her head. But then she was laughing, laughing and crying and rising to her feet as she looked into Kyo's eyes, his beautiful, wide-open eyes, and saw him smiling at her. It was a tired smile, but she didn't care; there was nothing more beautiful in the entire world than that smile, not right now.
"Hey, you," he said, his voice quiet and a little raspy, and Tohru laughed again, her joy as reliably overwhelming her as her earlier fear. She was so happy that all she could do was stare at him; stare, and smile, and cry.
And for all that he had only just woken up, Kyo understood. Shifting slightly in his bed, he glanced around the room, taking everything in; the tubes, the machines, the board with his medical details. The window looking out into the hospital corridor. And he looked back at Tohru, who was still too emotional to say anything, and smiled sheepishly.
"Guess it wasn't just a cold, huh?"
Tohru could only laugh, a laugh mixed with sobs and filled with relief.
Two and a half days later, Kyo was released from the hospital to an amount of fanfare that he found embarrassing. In vain, he'd protested against being taken out in a wheelchair; he was being released with only light restrictions, so he could damn well walk out of the hospital by himself. But Tohru had been firm, and he'd finally agreed, grumbling the entire time that he wasn't a damn invalid even if he had been in the hospital.
And Tohru had been ecstatic to hear him grumble.
When they got back to the dojo, Hajime had been so excited to see Kyo that he practically tackled him. Tohru had finally left the hospital the day after Kyo woke up, leaving him with Kazuma while she went to check on the boys and get some actual sleep. It had been a relief to see and hear how well her sons had been doing with Yuki, though she had to say that both Yuki and Machi were looking a little more...frazzled than usual.
And it had also been a relief to know that they were being taken care of, so she could be there with Kyo. But it was even more wonderful now, having their whole family back together again. As she watched Kyo sitting on the floor, hugging Hajime tightly in one arm and cuddling a happily babbling Katsuro in the other, Tohru couldn't help but think how lucky she was.
How lucky they all were.
Three days after that, it was finally time for them all to go home. Per Tohru and Kazuma's orders, Kyo had spent those three days at the dojo resting; he had patiently complied, but if he had to spend any more time lying around, he was ready for it to be in his own bed, in his own home.
Compared to the trip down to Tokyo, the trip back home was largely uneventful. In spite of Kyo's protests, Tohru took point on Hajime wrangling, allowing Kyo to spend most of the time resting...again. He was unimpressed, but put up with it, understanding from the looks Tohru would give him that for all that he felt he was basically recovered, she did not. And he could be patient.
Or try to be, anyway.
"Tohru, I can take something. It's barely over a quarter mile, I will be fine."
"Well, if you're fine, then I will also be fine over such a short distance. You hold Hajime's hand, I'll be more than able to manage the rest."
They were standing on the platform of the bus depot in Hibe, and Kyo was looking with skeptical eyes from Tohru, who was wearing Katsuro in the baby carrier, to their luggage. While it was true that the big suitcase had wheels, it was still three bags to manage, in addition to Tohru's purse and the baby; asking her to manage it all felt like...a lot.
"Tohru-"
"No, Kyo. You are supposed to be taking it easy, remember? Remember what the doctor said: only the very lightest of activity for a month."
Kyo tried to hold back the snort her comment inspired; even if he wanted to forget, he knew she wouldn't let him. But it was all for his own good, he tried to remind himself; the last thing he wanted was permanent damage as a souvenir of this whole ordeal. He was a martial artist, he needed his body to recover.
Still, he was pretty confident that he could carry something without it being more than 'light activity.'
But he knew that look on Tohru's face very well, and after a moment he sighed. "Fine. But if you need to stop at all, just say so."
It was a relief to be back in their own home again that night. After the long day of travelling, even Hajime had allowed himself to be put to bed with minimal fuss, and both boys were sound asleep long before Tohru had finished unpacking everything from their trip.
Kyo was a little more resistant to being put to bed, but Tohru was firm. And finally, grumbling once again, he'd allowed her to do it.
"I'd be fine sitting on the couch for a while, Tohru. Or even helping you put away the damn laundry! Remember, I'm supposed to move around, as long as I don't push myself too hard."
"I know, Kyo," she said patiently, tucking him in. "But you've already had a pretty active day, and I'd feel much better if you'd just lie down and try to sleep. It's early, I know, but it's not that early."
"Early enough," Kyo muttered, earning him a reproachful look from Tohru that made him sigh. "Give me a break, Tohru, ok? I'm really trying here."
"I know," she repeatedly softly, leaning over to kiss him. "And I appreciate it. But you're not a very good patient," she added, smiling at him.
"And I don't wanna become one, either," he grumbled, though he was smiling slightly at the kiss. "That means I'd have to practice more, and I've got no plans of making a habit out of any of this."
Tohru smiled, sitting down on the edge of the bed beside him. "You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that, Kyo."
He chuckled at first, about to make a teasing remark in response when the look in her eyes stopped him short. Once again, they were filled with tears, and her smiling lower lip was trembling.
"Hey..." Reaching out, Kyo pulled her into his arms. "You know this was all a fluke, right? How many times have I actually been sick, in all the time you've known me? Almost none, that's how many."
Tohru was crying yet again, crying and hating herself for it. "I know, Kyo, but that doesn't change the fact that this time, you were! You were sick, very sick, and I was so afraid..." she sniffled, hiccupping against his chest as all of the fears from the hospital came racing back. Yes, he was out of the hospital, yes, they were home, but how easy would it have been for things to go the other way?
How easy would it be for him to push himself too hard again?
Kyo's hand was on her head, gently stroking her hair while his other hand held her against him. He had known, after waking up in the hospital, how sick he must have been. Learning how long he'd been out of it had only driven that point home, not only in terms of what it meant for him but what it had to have meant for Tohru. He was aware of what had happened to her father; he'd known about it since he was a child, when for some inexplicable reason Kyoko had thought it an appropriate topic to discuss with him.
How scared must Tohru have been? Had she seen herself, in her mother's place?
Even thinking about the idea was enough to make Kyo's grip tighten; not because he was afraid for himself, but because of what that fear must have done to her. And he hadn't even been able to reassure her.
"I'm so sorry, Tohru," he whispered, holding her close. "For not being careful enough, for making you worry." She was sobbing again, no doubt getting snot on his bare skin, but he didn't care. "But I promise you, Tohru, I'm gonna be fine. I'm practically fine now, and I'm gonna take it so easy this next month that you'll think I'm stoned." That got a little laugh from her, and she tilted her head to look up at him. For a moment she was smiling, then the smile flickered, replaced once again by those all-too-familiar shadows.
"I was so afraid," she whispered once again. "I was afraid that you were..." She couldn't continue, but she didn't need to, Kyo hugging her tightly once more.
"You're not gonna get rid of me that easily, Tohru. Not you, not the boys, not anyone. Not when I've got so much to live for," he said, his voice quiet but determined.
When he talked like that, it was hard not to believe him. He sounded so confident, so sure...but there was really no way he could be. Not really.
Nobody could.
"Hey."
Kyo's hand was back on her face, turning her back to look at him once more. And she allowed herself to be turned, to look up into his glowing amber eyes and to read the assurances there.
"I mean it, Tohru. I'm gonna take care of myself, I'm gonna let you 'mother' me to your heart's content for all this next month. I'm gonna get better, all the way better. Soon. And you're gonna be stuck with me, for a very long time yet to come."
He was smiling, now, that sweet, loving smile of his that never failed to send a jolt straight to her heart. A smile that was for her, and only her.
A smile that said how much he loved her.
Tohru smiled back, leaning her hand into his palm. It was warm, just like he'd always been warm; warm, not burning. Comforting, not terrifying. Just like the comfort that came from his regular, relaxed breathing, and from the steadiness of his body.
She could still worry about him, and she knew that she would. It was still too soon; the fear was too recent.
But he was right, she knew. He was getting better. He'd continue to get better.
She'd make sure of it.