A/N Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. I really did not mean to let this story go un updated for so long.I apologize profusely ! Please dont hate me and please keep reading.This chapter is...I dont know.xD Read and review,tell me what you think if you would could please
JoEySaNgEl1534-Glad you think so.Sorry bout the wait.michelle -I may or may not xD Sorry for the wait.
orangesherbert7-xD glad you liked !
JavaJunkie22-Sorry I updated but I forgot the soon part...glad you liked.
chelsgg71091-xD glad you loved it !
gilmoregirlsfanatic-Im glad it made you sad xD afterall,thats why
I wrote the story-I ish a huge angst lover...but it should turn out
alright...or not xD
sarahb2007-Of course ! xD
Ronata- hands a tissue...xD
tom -tom I love your reviews.xD sorry I kept you waiting.I love happy endings,but we shall see -cue evil smiley-ahem xD
Lorelai dragged herself into her apartment expression stoic but inside she was tearing up.She did not want to see him again-she knew it would hurt and it did, oh how it did.She almost felt angry at him.She was almost over him,just barely but she was getting there.Then he had to come to New York,she had to see him,talk to him,and that hurt more then anything else Lorelai had ever expericanced.As she flopped down on the couch she wondered where she would be right now if things hadnt got so screwed.Would they be serious ? A established couple ? Married even ? And her heart ached because,she had found herself dreaming of marrying him,somewhere in her torn and bleeding heart she knew he was the one-but how could she possibly fix this giant mess,that she unpurposely created in the first place.If only she had been honest with him-told him about her innocent meeting with Christopher-maybe if her parents were not so set on ridding Lorelai of this so called filthy diner man.
She wanted to scream and cry and maybe suffocate herself with a pillow for fun.She collapsed softly on the couch,grabbing a pillow and holding it tight,resting her chin against the top.Life wasnt fair.She knew that well,but just for once she wanted it to be fair for her,just once and she could be happy.The tears start before she can stop them,hot,angry, and filled with sorrow.She is angry at herself,if she is over him why these tears ? She had promised herself she would not cry over him anymore,and she hadnt.This only made her clutch the pillow harder,silent sobs wracking her body.Her face was soaked,the front of her shirt peppered with drops of salty tears.The tears would not stop they were falling as if all her unshed tears had broke free from her heart and were now making their way down her face.
Gently and ever so slowly her tears led her into a restless slumber.The pillow was still clutched to her chest as she slumped sorrowfully upon the couch.Her hair was mussed up and spread across her face,streaks running down her pale face from the tears,mixed with mascara.Her face was almost serene as she slept,but a troubled pained look remained.
When Luke headed back his apartment he could barely breath.So clouded with unshed tears were his eyes,he could scarcely see five feet ahead of him.His hands grip the steering wheel with a urgent panic.He had lost her,she hated him,she didnt want him-And it was his fault.Maybe that is what hurt so much,he had caused this,she was in pain because of him.Sure she had lied to him,but he broke it.He broke her,he did not trust her when he knew he should have.He knew she would never do anything to hurt him and he believed he would not either.Well sometimes hes not always right.He jerked the steering wheel harshly as his apartment complex came into view.Yes,he was staying ,the day before he had signed the lease papers for the small three room apartment.He was staying because she was not in Stars Hollow,he was staying because she was here.He wanted to be as close to her as possible,he ached without her next to him and just wanted the pain to dull a bit.And the only way that would happen is if he was close to her.
His heart broke over and over again as he looked around his apartment,bare and cold,unwelcoming before settling on the only bright objects in the room.In the corner was a desk,a plain desk,solid walnut oak.Atop that desk were pictures,five lonely pictures of one radiating woman,brunette and blue eyed.Three pictures of her daughter-to whom he felt more of a father to then he suspected the real one did any day.One heartbreaking picture of the good times,a candid photo of a happy couple at a town festival.Wrapped in his arms she looked secure,safe,happy,and as he looked longingly upon the frame he realized he had took that from her.When he had saw her at the mall,he could not help but notice the spark had left her eyes,and he could not help but think the spark had left his as well.
Wandering fadingly to his blow up mattress upon the floor he did all he could to keep himself from throwing himself upon the make-shift bed and sobbing-how manly of him.He can not remember doing this over Rachel,he cant remember doing this over Nicole,he can not remember doing it over Lorelai because he is living through it.He is a loser,a jerk off ,an ass,he did this to himself.He did it ! Not her,he did,and that hurt,he thought he would be the one to be hurt-if it even ever came to that-yet he was the one who had inflicted it,though he suspected he was neck in neck with her for pain.But what if she was over him ? He never considered that.Maybe she hated him for hurting her,maybe she did not care.But he knew her,more then anyone else besides her daughter,and he knew that was not true.
Days past slowly for her,her normally energetic day dull and lifeless as she went through the automatic motions of life.She missed him,he was here,she could feel it and that scared her.She stood in front of her bathroom mirror,dabbing some cover up upon her face and just trying to make her self presentable for work.When she is done she goes to the living room,turning slowly,casting a look around her living quarters.Bare and dull is all she can think of as her eyes sweep the room.Love is a joke,she mused silently,sullen blue orbs locking onto a forlorn picture frame resting on the edge of her mantle.A joke that quite frankly-she the queen of jokes-found humorless.Hands hang limp at her sides,a deep breath emitted through her mouth to calm the tears that threaten to break.Closing her eyes quickly she stand in the middle of her living room,fists now clenched tightly,looking for all the world defeated.A low heartbreaking sigh echoed through the room as she once more opened her eyes and prepared herself to face the world.The harsh,cruel,loveless world.
When she arrives at the Inn she is not surprised to find the work already piling up.Tiredly she begins her work,flitting from one task to another,not able to quite concentrate upon what was at task.Finally one of the employees told her to go home.Home.That stung.She did not know where home was anymore.Her apartment ? The Gilmore mansion ? Stars Hollow ? In her heart she knew where her home was and had always been,she fought back the urge to cry in front of the employee,but simply nodded instead and gathered her things to leave.
Luke sulked around his apartment for a while longer.Lingering gazes tossed toward the window,wondering where she was.A light sigh escaped from his lips as he leaned against the window pane,watching as it began to rain.A soft steady downpour,the quiet patter of rain against the glass through the silence.He can see his reflection,his worn face,the stubble he refused to shave because he remembered she liked it. He swallowed hard,closing his eyes for a moment to bask in the nothingness.He loved the feeling of blackness,it made the moment easier,there was nothing to deal with,nothing to see,just nothing.A sudden crash of thunder makes him jump,his eyes fly open and he peers at the now darkened room.Suddenly and for no apparent reason he runs outside,standing in the middle of the courtyard in the pouring rain looking up at the angry clouds.
He let the rain fall down his face,pooling off the bridge of his nose and onto his stubble.The rain was amazingly cool against his skin,icy actually and he relishes the feeling of being brought into reality,not a particularly fluffy reality but a reality none the less.He feels as if he needs to do something,something to get her back,something that will end with her in his arms.He moves to sit upon a wooden bench,in desperate need of paint and a bit worn but steady and strong,and burries his face in his hands,and lets the tears fall.
The thunder startles her as she sits upon the window sill,her pure blue optics adjusting to the sudden darkness that came with the power outage.The sudden need to be somewhere,to get away,overwhelms her.Getting up she heads outside,letting the rain settle down upon her and numb her aching heart.She turns slowly,lifting her face so she is looking directly upwards.She wants to scream and cry,and pound on things until Luke is back.She wants to plead with him to come back to her,she wants these things so desperately it hurts.
"Why !" she screams,albeit softly,and the tears come.