I am the Enemy pt 5

Written on the recovering eye lids of Invader Sideos. I HATE this planet! I have not written anything in a DAY because of one of your damm sicky-dieses thingies. Maybe it's my late night, coffee, pro plus and sugar fuelled life style that wreaked my defences but whatever it was it stuck me down and I was sick all day. I didn't even have the strength to go to collage and get my EMA for god's sake! That's me being 10 quid out of pocket this week! DAMM the biological earth defences after I have finished with the humans I will declare my war on (dramatic music) the micro organisms. As a warning I am still recovering so I don't know whether this chapter will be good or not. It will have a lot of talking in it though so...yea.

I don't own Zim. But I have a cunning plan...

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Dib's eyes slowly creaked open, only to see two very large cyan orbs staring directly at him. He immediate jumped backwards in surprise and the little metal object did the same.

"Whoa, what the...Gir, don't do that to me!" Dib put a hand on his heart which was beating franticly from shock.

Gir seemed oblivious to the shock he had given Dib and seemingly produced a muffin out of nowhere, thrusting it in Dib face. "HEY, Dib Master! You wanna muffin! They're deeeelish!"

Dib gave Gir a questioning look before answering. "Err sure, whatever."

Dib took it and examined it carefully checking for any...Gir-things before taking a bite. At first he though it tasted quite nice before he felt is stomach turn and his mouth burn.

He almost threw up onto the floor, spitting out any remains of the muffin from his mouth. "What the...I used to love muffins."

Gir just giggled and began to run around on the floor in a circle shouting muffin. Dib took the opportunity to look around. He had been laying on a table not much unlike the one he and first woke up on. Around him he could see equipment flashing and screens monitoring his progress. From what he could make out he had been unconscious for over two days. Zim, however, was no-where to be seen.

He took off some wires that were connected to his arm and walked around the bed to get his coat which was hanging on the end. "Hey, Gir, where's Zim?"

Gir suddenly stopped spinning round looked thoughtful, even putting a hand to his chin. "Master said...err...for me to keep an eye on you until he gets back from fixing the ship thingy."

Dib gave Gir a puzzled look "Ship thingy? You mean his voot cruiser?"

Gir punched himself in the eye, causing it to fall out "Yea the ship thingy!"

Dib picked up Girs eye and knelt down to fix it back in. "When did he say he was going to get back?"

Dib was just re screwing Gir's eye back in when a voice from behind shocked him.

"Right now."

He turned round quickly to face an evilly grinning Zim.

He marched past a now also grinning Dib. "So, what are we going to do today? Are you going to show me how to fly the voot cruiser? Are we going to go cruising about through space? Are we going to talk to your leaders?"

Zim almost looked angry for a moment, before shooing Gir out the room. "You still have a lot to learn about being Irken, Dib, that's what I'm going to show you today."

Dib was disappointed that he wouldn't got to fly the voot cruiser, but he had plenty of time to wait for that now. "So, what are you going to teach me today?"

Zim smirked a little as he walked back towards Dib. "I'm going to show you how to use the most vital tool to any Irken. Your PAK."

Dib looked over his shoulder at his own PAK. Most of the time he had forgotten it was there. "What's the deal with this thing anyway?"

In his head he tried to activate it but the PAK stayed motionless. Zim noticed the look on Dibs face and laughed. "No use trying to get it working, Dib it takes years of training to do that. But thanks to my genius brain power, I may have fixed that." He walked over to a large purple box which was covered in markings and sockets.

Dib walked over to Zim's side. "What's this then? Another one of your stupid machines?" Dib inwardly smiled. He may be on Zim's side now, but that didn't stop him from poking fun at his old enemy.

Zim turned on him quickly. "Look, Dib if you haven't noticed I'm trying to help you become an Irken soldier and your PATHETIC comments aren't helping." Dib was quietly surprised. Zim helping me? Why?

Zim continued regardless. "I could get in a lot of trouble for what I'm about to do. Technically I am breaking Irken law as were not allowed to use the PAK to share memories, however I should be able to write this off as a military training program."

Dib turned to face Zim, his expression curiously serious. "Why are you doing this?"

Zim turned to look at Dib, but his expression remained the same. "Because I refuse to have an incompetent, useless Irken hanging around my base. If we're going to be working together from now on you should be fully trained to handle any situation that may arise. I mean, one green skinned human is strange enough but two would begin to attract suspicion. Understand, smeet?"

Zim cast Dib a vicious look before continuing working on the box. Dib, being Dib, however would not give up on the questions. "Hey, did you just call me a smeet? I am not a smeet."

Zim was beginning to sound annoyed, but couldn't help a wicked smile. "You are many, many years younger then I am. By Irken standards you should still be many miles under Irk getting educated in our ways. Stupid smeet."

Dib walked to the other side of the box and slammed his hands down onto it angrily. Zim looked surprised. "Look, I may be an Irken now but that doesn't mean we have to be friendly, Zim. I'm just as smart as you are, granddad, maybe...Are you even listening to me?"

Zim was still looking at the now glowing box. "Congrats, Dib you've got the machine working. Now turn around. Since you don't know how to use your PAK I'll have to do this manually. Oh and don't call me granddad."

Dib reluctantly obeyed. Zim walked over to Dib and carefully opened up his PAK, taking out a long pink tube with a black spiky end to it. Dib felt sort of strange. He could feel the tube being pulled from his back like it was a part of him, but at the same time he knew it was nothing but metal and wires.

Zim ignored the look of odd discomfort on Dib's face. "I'm going to hook your ID plug to the box, Oh, by the way, the memory download may hurt a bit."

Dib looked worried. "How much?"

Zim grinned his trademark grin. "Oh, only a bit." Zim's own ID plug flew from his PAK and straight into the machine. For a second Dib didn't feel a thing but then.

"YAAAAAAARRR!" Dib felt like his brain was being squashed into nothing. The pain was immense and he collapsed onto the floor eyes shut tight, and hands pressed on the sides, trying to stop the torture. Behind his eyes he could see them, images flashed through his head. Voices to faces and people unknown shouted at him telling him how to do things he had never even heard of. The images showed him many things, how to use his spider legs, how to activate his ID plug, how to use many objects and devises, some he had seen Zim use and many he hadn't. Finally he felt the pain subside, but he still didn't get up, he had a headache that he thought would never go away.

"How many years was that?" was all Dib could manage.

Zim seemed totally unaffected by the whole thing. "Err I think 80. I was held back for about 10 years because I had to re-take my tank driving license."

Dib would have laughed if the headache still wasn't pounding away. Zim stood for a moment looking at his fellow Irken grasping his head on the floor like it would split open at any moment.

He raised a non existent eyebrow. "You know, you could take some of the pain away if you just activated the painkiller chemicals in you PAK's healing program."

Dib suddenly began to feel better, a lot better. He stood up which an amazed look in his eyes. "Wow, that's some fast working painkillers, wait how did I activate it?"

Zim simply waved away the question. "Ok, Dib I want to run a test. First I want you to follow me up to the roof of the lab." Zim's spider legs shot out his back and ran him up a nearby wall until he was hanging upside down from the roof, which disturbingly reminded Dib of a giant spider. "Come on, Dib activate your legs and get onto the roof."

Dib concentrated hard, but nothing would come, the PAK remained motionless. Zim scowled "Move it, I've not got all day."

Dib tried again, but still the legs would not move. Zim was getting angry. Dib looked like he was just standing there with his eyes shut doing nothing. In fact, Dib was trying as hard as possible to get the legs working, everything he tried wasn't working and he just couldn't figure out how Zim did it. He began to get angry at himself, what kind of Irken couldn't even get his PAK working?

His mentors angry voice shouted down at him "Come on, you useless meat-bag, climb up here now!" Zim's comments rung round in his head. "You're useless, Dib a nothing, pathetic waste. No wonder humanity gave up on you."

Dib exploded with anger and, despite being several feet below Zim, rushed to meet him on the roof. The next few minutes were just a blur until Dib finally stopped. He had his hand around Zim's throat and one fist ready to punch him, it was only until Zim began smiling that Dib realised he was hanging upside down. He looked down or in this case up, to see that he was hanging just above the roof. Amazement set in as he also spotted the four metallic spike like legs that were keeping him attached to the ceiling wires.

"Well done, smeetling."

Zim backed away from Dib's grasp and hopped back down onto the floor, using his spider legs to cushion his fall. "I knew that if I angered you your mind would do everything it could to get me. You should be able at access everything now at a thought and without problems." However, Dib was still in too absorbed by his spider leg success to pay any attention to Zim. He began running about on the roof glee written on his green features.

Zim ground his teeth in annoyance. "Dib, get down off there now!" Zim suddenly though about how often he addressed Gir like that.

Dib suddenly slipped off the roof and came hurdling towards the floor. "ZIM! HELP!" But Zim just stood there crossing his arms with an impatient look on his face. Dib's eyes closed for the impact, his hands held out in front of him, but no pain came. He slowly looked and found that he was being protected by a large blue bubble. He immediately looked to his PAK and found that the legs and come together and were forming a force field around him. He laughed joyously as he began to roll about the lab before he came to a sudden halt.

He looked up to see an annoyed looking Zim, who's foot rested on the top of the bubble. "If you are QUITE finished we can move onto voot cruiser flight lessons. Oh how I am dreading this."

Zim began to walk out the room. Dib quickly de-activated his shield and hopped after him with a massive grin on his face. This new lifestyle was turning out better then he had expected.

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FHEW! God this has to be the most...arduous chapter I have EVER wrote. This little bugger took me A WEEK to write! And I don't even know why! Its not even that LONG! But it's finally done. The next few chapters may take a bit of time. Why? Because of the massive response I got from this I'm gonna write a bit more of Dib exploring the Irken way of life, which means reporting to the Tallest and stuff. Yup. So to re-cap Dibs Irken, he likes it, woop. Will Dib come to his senses? Will Zim change Dib back? Will Gir feature more? Will I let my prisoner free? "Oh god please!" (Not likely)

R&R please cos I know you love it.