Sung into the wind by Invader Sideos: AGGGGGGGGGGGG! This chapter is causing me serious headache! I want to write it, really I do, but it's just being a pain and not being any good. I'm going to have to make this a funny chapter with serious undertones instead of a serious chapter and funny undertones.

I don't own Zim...that sucks.

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Dib walked though the halls of the base musing over what the program and Vee had shown him. It all seemed so... strange. Is the answer to all a planet's problems simply to give up loving one another? To hand over all the decision making to a machine?

He was now walking slowly towards the food area. After about half an hour of wandering round before the computer had told him where to go, he wandered into the kitchen and with the flicker of thought used his ID plug to order in some food. He was unsurprised at the selection, all snacks. Eventually he decided on something called a Krotok which, when it arrived, seemed to be a lot like a sherbet drink.

He was just throwing it in the bin when the computer spoke up. "Hey, Dib, Zim's home."

Dib brushed off his hands and said casually "Oh? Tell him I'm in the lower level kitchens."

There was a moment of silence before the computer replied "He wants you to meet him in the main screen room."

"Oh."

Dib stood awkwardly for a moment before he heard the computer sigh "Ok, I'll take you straight there."

Dib walked into the centre of the main screen room, sucking on a cherry fizzwizz he had acquired on the way up. Zim was standing, looking slightly nervous and slightly serious.

Dib just walked up to him as if he had all the time in the world. "What's the matter, Zim?"

Dib almost dropped his fizzwizz in surprise when Zim snapped angrily at him. "Will you put that away! You've got to look your best for the Tallest!"

Dib suddenly threw his fizzwizz away and began to brush off his top and trench coat. He didn't know why, but he had a sudden urge to look as respectable as possible. He remembered the last time he had spoken with the Tallest; he hadn't exactly given them much respect.

He was just straightening his trench coat when Zim began the message transmission. They stood quietly as the call was being sent. The Tallest on the other side had to accept the message if they were going to talk. Dib's mind was racing with thoughts and questions that he could ask his leaders. Where's Irk? Wait I know that now...err, why are you so tall? Yea that'll be good. Wait...no it won't...

Suddenly the message cleared and Dib's squeedly spooch clenched tightly. He couldn't understand it, he had talked to the Tallest before and even the President of the USA and he had never felt like this. Maybe it was the PAK, or the training, or everything he had learned lately, but when the screen cleared to show the tall Red and Purple leaders he felt more humbled then he ever had in his life.

The Tallest looked busy, as there where several advisers running about everywhere carrying large stacks of documents and files. The Tallest themselves where looking over documents and signing them hurriedly. They looked at the screen and groaned in annoyance at the sight of Zim.

Tallest Red passed a file to a smaller assistant and narrowed his eyes dangerously at Zim. "Zim, what is it now? Today's file sorting day and we've got lots of stuff to sort out."

Purple, holding a bunch of curly fries in one hand and an electronic clipboard in the other, also turned to Zim with annoyance written on his face. "Yea, Zim. This better be important."

Zim bobbed forward on his toes and grinned widely, giving Dib the strange sensation of daja vu. "Oh it is, my Tallest. I present you with my latest, most amazing, victory yet. Tallest, meet Irken Dib."

Dib stepped forward gingerly and saluted. However before he could introduce himself Red cut in. "HEY! Isn't that the big headed kid?"

Purple threw his clipboard away, hitting some poor advisor and floated closer to the screen. "Yea. Didn't he once call us scum?"

Zim turned to Dib with a sort of amazed shock on his face. Dib looked down and hurriedly muttered "It was a...err...human error, my Tallest."

On the screen red raised an antenna in thought. "Well," he slowly started "If it was when you where a human then I suppose we can let you off. Zim, has he been educated yet?"

Zim clicked his heals and bowed quickly. "Yes, my Tallest. His education finished just this morning."

Purple and Red looked at each other in silent agreement before Purple turned back to the screen, as Red had another file shoved to him by a smaller advisor.

Purple began scratching his chin and casually said. "Err, good work, Zim...I guess." He looked straight to Dib. "Have you been ranked yet?"

Dib looked, panicking, at Zim who smacked his head in frustration; he had forgotten to rank him. Dib looked back to Purple "I do not have a rank yet, my Tallest."

Red sighed as he signed another document and rolled his eyes. "Then you'd better get yourself here then. Thank the control brains today's file sorting day or we'd have to take you right to Irk to get ranked with the smeets and that would just be irritating."

Purple nodded and turned to Zim "Zim, you stay right in your base, just send him through the teliporters."

Zim bowed, then saluted. "Yes, my almighty Tallest."

Dib just stood there in shock. I'm going onto the mothership to meet the Tallest. It wasn't until Zim gave him a sly elbow in the ribs that Dib came round and hurriedly bowed and saluted.

The Tallest cut out and Zim immediately began dragging Dib towards the teliporter room, muttering things about luck and smeets. Dib was as giddy as a child on Christmas Eve; he never thought that he would ever get to meet the Tallest face to face. Zim threw him into a teliporter and punched in the codes.

The teliporter activated and Dib felt like he was being stretched and pulled apart from all angles. He tried to scream, but his mouth was miles away from where it should have been. He watched as space zoomed around him at lighting speeds. Then, suddenly, it all stopped and Dib felt himself re-assemble on the deck of the massive. After composing himself he looked around.

The deck was a mass of noise and movement, with Irkens rushing around carrying documents and electronic clipboards. Several Irken's bumped into him, muttering hurried sorrys. It took Dib a few moments to find a space where he could take a breather and compose himself properly.

Dib looked around and immediately spotted the Tallest. He gasped in surprise. When he had seen them earlier they had seemed smaller due to the position of the screen, but now he was up close he finally noticed how big they were. They must have each been over 7, maybe even 8 feet tall. He suddenly felt very small in their presence and he immediately knew why they commanded such power. Such impressive tallness made them into very imposing and mighty looking figures, not as awe inspiring as the golden Tallest he had seen in the history program, but still very impressive looking.

He slowly approached them and found that they were busy signing forms. Red was scratching away at a clipboard, muttering something about experiments to an advisor and Purple was talking to an advisor.

Dib could just hear him say "Place the production targets at 700 billion tonnes, and say it was 200 billion more then expected."

He stood at the Tallests' side and coughed loudly, but Purple clearly didn't hear him over the bustle of the main deck. The advisor suddenly spotted Dib and pointed at him.

Purple turned to look at him with wide eyes, before gesturing for Dib to come closer.

Dib did so and Purple leaned right down so he was almost at ear level and loudly said "So, you're Dib, huh? Ok then." He leaned back up to Red and shouted. "HEY, RED! Do you want to deal with this one or me?"

Red looked up at Purple before noticing Dib, then he went back down to his clipboard and shouted back. "You deal with it. I'm working, in case you can't tell."

Purple cast Red a snide look before floating to a computer with a crew member working on it and again gesturing Dib to follow. Dib walked hurriedly, not wanting to waste his leaders' time. Dib was pushed to the side of the crew member by Purple, who then shouted a few things to the crew member. The crew member nodded and began typing away at his keyboard. A few seconds later a snake-like wire came out of a wall and attached itself to Dib's PAK. Dib watched in quiet amazement as all his personal stats ran across the crew member's screen. He watched as a small bar on the bottom of the screen slowly filled up and he guessed that it must be downloading everything it needed to know about him.

The download finished and the crew member turned the screen to his Tallest. Purple looked at it nodding and checking off a few things, then suddenly, he laughed. He shouted at Red who floated over looking annoyed. Purple just pointed to the screen, Red looked and also laughed.

Dib couldn't help feel annoyed and shouted at the giggling Tallest "What's so funny?"

The Tallest looked at him and turned the screen so Dib could see exactly what was funny. Dib looked and saw that the stat for his height was flashing; he raised an antenna to the Tallest.

Red stopped laughing to explain. "Look, you're few inches taller then Zim; he's still the shortest Irken ever!" And he began at laugh hysterically again, as did some of the crew.

Red stopped laughing long enough to turn back to the screen. His voice turned serious, but he still had a big smile on his face. "Ok, Dib, since you come from earth you can be assigned back to it. You can be Zim's second in command, which should stop him bugging us about giving him more re-enforcements."

Dib eyes widened with surprise and joy. Not only could he go back to earth, but he would get to conquer it! Red turned as another form was given to him. He sighed and floated off.

Purple suddenly turned to Dib and narrowed his eyes curiously. "Hey…were did you get all this invaders training data from. Zim didn't share his memories, did he?"

Purple floated closer, imposing his height more on Dib, who remembered what Zim had said about memory sharing.

Dib slowly and confidently, said "No, no it was in my PAK when I received it."

Purple just shrugged then turned and floated over to Dib, leaning down so he was almost eye level again. "Ok, your official name and rank is now second in command Invader Dib, understand?"

Dib nodded, saluted and began to walk back towards the teliporters, a feeling of great importance swelling within him.

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989+996 1984...thought it would be a nice touch. I hate this chapter with a passion...it's so bad. AGGG IT'S HORRID! I can understand if you all review as 'Yea…this sucked' because it does. Next chapter however will be TOTALLY mind blowing with its IMMENSE greatness.

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