AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Margaret: Incase it isn't obvious, Jim is my son and partner in fiction crime.
Jim: And this is definitely a crime against fiction.

Apologies to J.K.Rowling.

SHUFFLE OFF TO BUFFALO

"Have you ever noticed," Jim remarked, "that there's always a Guy-Who-Never-Dies, a Guy-Who-Sometimes-Dies, and a Guy-Who-Always-Dies?"

"Yes, actually," Margaret replied. "I believe I'm the one who pointed that out to you. What's your point?"

"Turn it on its head."

Margaret blinked. "What? That would mean Adric doesn't die."

"Oh. Forget it then."

"You're usually a better help to me in this kind of nonsense."

"I'm watching the end of the third Harry Potter movie."

"Not again."

Adric appeared out of nowhere. "Wow, close call. I almost got splattered by Paris Hilton."

"Where the hell did you come from?" Jim asked.

"They're taking over the story again," Margaret moaned, turning accusingly to the Doctor.

"Don't look at me," the Doctor said. "I didn't conjure him up"

Adric watched the television a few minutes. "That's it!" he exclaimed and climbed up onto the roof.

"Hey!" Jim yelled.

"Go see what he's doing up there," Margaret instructed.

"Okay."

Jim climbed onto the roof. He looked around and then up at the gathering storm clouds. Then he saw Adric at the peek of the house. "Hey, you, get off our roof! We don't have moron insurance!"

Adric pulled out a wand, pointed at the sky and screamed, "EXPECTO PATRONUM!"

Nothing happened.

Adric shook the wand, trying again. "EXPECTO PATRONUM!"

Jim stormed over to Adric. "Expecto a headache, dipshit," he said, giving the boy a smack.

"It worked for Harry Potter," Adric whined.

"Harry Potter is a fictional character, you idiot!"

"So am I!"

"Yes, but people like Harry Potter."

The Fifth Doctor and Margaret were outside by this time. "Adric!" the Doctor called from the ground. "Get down from there."

"He's going to break his neck," Margaret observed.

"You are a bad influence," the Doctor remarked.

Jim grinned evilly. "Here, let me help you down."

"Doctor!" Adric exclaimed. "He's going to throw me off the roof."

"No, I'm not," Jim replied.

"Good."

"I'm going to push you off the roof."

"Aaaa!" Adric screamed, choosing instead to jump off the other side of the roof.

"He shouldn't've done that," Margaret said mildly.

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Why?"

"That's where I put the black hole."

"I thought the black hole was in your dryer."

"Just the one that eats socks. There's another one in Jim's stomach."

"Hey, Mom, I'm hungry!" Jim called from the roof.

"See? Told you," Margaret smiled.

"Pizza and wings for dinner?"

"Didn't we have dinner twice already?" the Doctor asked.

"Alternate universes." Margaret turned on her heel. "Now, about that crossover..."

Jim was already in the house and called, "Mom, we're picking up Turlough's web-cam! You won't believe who's on now."

"Oh, dear," the Doctor groaned. "This can't be good."