Bonus Chapter: The Outsiders' Performance, Paradox Style
-100:00:00
"Where are we even headed?" Waver Velvet groaned as he trudged after his three Servants. After leaving that insane banquet, Rider had ferried them around in the Gordius Wheel for about fifteen minutes before he decided they land and "go for a stroll," as the Macedonian King had put it. Since then, they'd been ambling about through Miyama Town, with the only alterations being a slightly wobbly Saber X sporadically trying to wander off only to be dragged back by his partners.
"Kid's got a point." Berserker X didn't even bother to look at the grumbling Huntsman in his iron grip. "Almost two hours of walking through these streets, and we haven't stopped at any bars or, better yet, bumped into another Servant. At this point, my boredom is bored."
Iskandar shrugged in an easygoing manner as he led them along a street. "I didn't have any particular destination in mind." The harbor could be seen a few blocks away, water glimmering from the moonlight. "This just seems like a pleasant night for a jaunt, seeing what happens."
Saber X paused in his struggling to give him a look. "What, need some time to think? Don't hurt yourself, big guy." Rider laughed at the friendly jibe but didn't answer; it hadn't been far off from the truth. Saber's self-sacrificial kingship, Mithrandir's wisdom about ruling, Megatron's challenge of his beliefs… It would be a lie to say he hadn't been contemplating the proceedings of the gathering he'd organized.
The rest of the team weren't used to their "leader" being so silent. Or silent at all, for that matter. But no one felt the urge to press the matter, though Qrow settled for huffing. "Well, if there's no big emergency or party planned, then I might as well go, right?" He tried shrugging off his partner's hand. "Maybe I could find Archer X or Caster as a playmate for ya if you just let me do a little scouting, Spiky."
This earned him three incredulous eyes staring at him. "Yeah, and you wouldn't be wanting to keep some distance from us, pickle what's left of your brains, would ya?" A migraine began to bloom in Saber X's head from Berserker X's words. The bigger man only chuckled at his grimace. "You're not getting rid of us that easy, birdbrain."
Rider slung his arms over these two Heroic Spirits fate and circumstance had made his good comrades in this Holy Grail War. "For tonight, at least, we can walk side by side and face whatever enemies may cross our paths! And none of us should worry about whatever ill fortunes," he gave his first partner a pointed look there, "stumble upon us, for it's not enough to dampen our moods!"
His loud proclamation didn't stop him from joining the other three in glancing briefly up towards the clouds. No raindrops came, but a dry tree branch did snap loose and almost fall onto Waver's shoulder.
The boy flinched away from the falling wood, but when he faced Saber X, there wasn't any anger or accusal in his eyes, just resignation. And maybe just a little fondness. "We both know you can't change their minds, Saber X." The Master upped his pace to step past the three (watching out for any more surprises in the process) and gave a tired sigh. "Might as well suck it up and accept the company. It's working out so far for me."
Qrow let out a slightly drunken snort after a few seconds of silence. "Look at the little guy talkin' all deep…" Iskandar's smile was practically a sun at night, and even Kenpachi had a satisfied twinkle in his look as they followed their Master towards the street's end.
Tired and unmotivated though he had been these last few days, Waver found himself enjoying this little moment of leading his Servants along the road.
"Hey, excuse me, misters!" Then a brown blur flitted in front of him from above(?!) and-
SMACK!
Waver barely kept himself from yelping from the stinging sensation above his moist-growing eyes. Why is it always the forehead?!
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry about that!" He peered through his fingers (and his tears) to see a young girl clasping her hands in apology in front of her face. She was even shorter than him, probably thirteen or fourteen years old, if that, with long brown hair pulled behind her head into a ponytail. She wore what looked like a school uniform and had that kind of practice sword common in Japan tucked under her right shoulder. Her eyes, scrunched up tightly, opened to reveal brown eyes that shone almost as brightly as Iskandar's.
She went on to babble more things in Japanese he couldn't make out. "I-it's okay," he tried to say before wincing that he was speaking in English. Waver never really learned more than the bare minimum of this country's language, and at the speed she was talking, he wouldn't have been able to catch up anyways. He had been very lucky to have found an English-speaking couple in this city where he could take up residence.
Then Rider, Saber X, and Berserker X caught up with the two, the former waving his hands placatingly. "No worries, little one," he assured her in flawless Japanese, "this boy has a thicker skull than you would think at first glance."
The girl looked up at the very big man in his t-shirt, tight jeans and wide grin before grinning right back. "Phew, that's good to hear. Sorry about that, I saw you guys coming and ran up to get your attention but wasn't watching my shinai and well…" She rubbed the back of her head with an apologetic expression.
Berserker X eyed her weapon with a thoughtful look. "Shinai, huh?" The girl then turned to the other very big man in leather and eyepatch. "Let me guess you're a fan of Kendō, then?"
She nodded, her excitement growing even more. "Uh huh, I've already been learning for a year now, gonna be a first-dan soon." She eyed him more scrutinizingly than one would've expected from her bubbly nature. "Do you do Kendō, too? You've got the build for it."
This earned her a scoff from the one-eyed man. "I was forced to take a few lessons when I started out, but that old fart of a master stopped training me after one day, and I didn't try all that hard to change his mind. 'The Way of the Sword,' hah!" He rolled his eye. "No offense, but that stuff's too pretentious for my taste. I prefer swinging my sword my way."
The girl bobbed her head while listening. "Yeah, I get that. But it's pretty fun for me right now, so I'll keep at it…" She continued to talk with the other two answering, then Qrow joined in, and it became a four-way chat with Waver on the sidelines, rubbing his aching forehead. He wasn't surprised about the Heroic Spirits' ease with talking with her; the Holy Grail allowed any Servant it called forth to read and commune fluently in any language contemporary with the world they were summoned in. Otherwise, Iskandar and Kenpachi Zaraki, beings of Macedonian and Japanese-esque origins, wouldn't have been able to listen to him (not that they did normally, anyway). Hell, Qrow Branwen was from another world, who knew if English was spoken on Remnant.
Speaking of which, they were moving again, and Waver was still having a hard time keeping up with the conversation. So, he turned to the guy who could speak both languages and give him the most reliable rendition. "Saber X," he turned to his Master, "what's her story?"
The Corvid Reaper had picked up his straining to follow their conversation, so he understood the question quickly. "She said she's been looking for thieves," he replied while moving closer to the boy as they walked.
"Thieves?" Waver looked at the bubbly girl chattering with the biggest men around. "Don't tell she's chasing those bank robbers who have been in the news lately…"
"Nah, I asked her that and she promised she's not that crazy," Qrow drawled before leaning in to speak softer. "Apparently a couple of guys broke into a store belonging to her friend's family and made off with two of their best wine barrels."
Waver's face fell flat as he slapped his palm to his head. Biting back a wince, he murmured, "The store her friend's family owns wouldn't happen to be called 'Copenhagen,' would it?"
"How'd you guess?" Master and Servant sighed in unison before the latter continued. "Kid saw the break-in while walking by and tried running after them, but, well, good luck keeping up with Candy Bar's wheels. Luckily, she hasn't put the pieces together yet, and none of us are in a hurry to tell her."
Truth be told, though, Saber X did feel a little guilty about not coming clean with the kid; her bubbliness struck a familiar chord in his core. But they'd risk pulling her into the Grail War if they didn't keep their mouths shut, and not even Spiky was that irresponsible.
That, and he seemed to have taken a liking to her. "Those bells of yours are so funny, Kenny," she giggled (and Qrow translated for Waver) as they walked out of the alley. They were overlooking the docks now. "Oh, can I call you Kenny? Kenpachi's badass and suits you, but you look like a Kenny, too."
Berserker X gave a rare chuckle that wouldn't have been utterly terrifying. "Only 'cause you remind me of my daughter, twerp." He then tilted his head to point a sharper grin at the teasing looks from his partners. "And that privilege don't extend to you bozos, so keep your traps shut."
The girl tilted her head towards him in curiosity. "You've got a daughter? Is she cute?"
"A little pink-haired bundle of sugar and excitement." The man shook his head fondly. "Drives me crazy half the time, and she's got a lousy sense of direction…"
Look who's talking, three male brains thought in unison.
"…But I can always count on her to bring some color into my life. Ever since I found her in that forest." Images flashed through Waver's mind, images of trees and grass soaked in blood, sunlight peeking through the leaves over carved-up bodies, and a tiny face with pink hair and big eyes, like some cute little doll.
He wouldn't have thought he'd feel such affection from a person like Kenpachi Zaraki.
"Hey, what're you doing?!" Saber X's shout pulled the boy from his thoughts. He turned to see she had dropped her shinai and was sprinting straight for the shallows. Next thing they knew, she dived right in with a big splash.
Waver followed the others as quickly as he could, Servants being naturally swifter than humans, his mind spinning. "What is the matter with that girl?" he mumbled in between his gasps for air. Then he heard a high-pitched yelp and saw something brown bobbing up amidst the surface. And the girl was swimming straight for it.
Taiga Fujimura pushed herself forward with a few more strokes, then she finally managed to snag the little thing paddling on the spot and pull it close. She giggled for a second at the wet appendage against her nose, but her arms were aching from pushing all that water around. Plus, there was a decent current pulling them out to sea. Maybe I didn't think this through…
But she wasn't worried. Especially since an arm that didn't belong to her wrapped around her waist. Then she and her cute little passenger were being pulled towards land.
Saber X for his part was relieved the kid or the puppy she'd picked up weren't struggling. His legs kicked through the water, Aura flaring up to put some more oomph in his swimming.
Meanwhile, a one-man submarine was diving deep underneath what waves there be this late. Its pilot and single passenger, a certain scientist who had been (in his own words) wrongfully dismissed from Japan's most clandestine scientific division, gleefully rubbed his hands together. After years of research, trial and error, and eluding those buffoons trying to imprison his genius, this was the night he would finally have his revenge! All those fools who had mocked his designs for a new type of weapon, who had claimed his work belonged in some cheap fanfiction, who had called him mad! MAD!
His cackles echoed through every corner of the sub he'd ordered via catalog. For the last week, his systems had been picking up an increase of strange energy readings all over dinky little Fuyuki City. The same kind of energy the scientist had theorized could be harnessed into a new form of nuclear power. This was an opportunity he couldn't pass up for the life of him.
He typed a set of commands into his computer and pulled a lever, giggling in delight at the sounds of his machines whirring. The submarine was close to the bottom of the sea now, a spot the scientist had calculated would be the most optimal spot to draw in this wonderful energy. Once it had accumulated enough, his shockwave generator would be able to blast entire continents off the face of the planet! Nations would scramble head over heels to buy this superweapon from him, making him the supreme power on this Earth. The scientist threw his head back to cackle at his impending triumph-
Fsssh… POP!
He stopped… and looked before him in horror. "No…" his fingers scrambled desperately over the controls. "Nononononooooooo!" Somehow, all of the submarine's systems had short-circuited simultaneously! Propulsion, guidance, life support… The seismic generator then blew five different fuses, one after the other, making energy intake unstable. Worst of all, worst of all, a power surge fried the computer's hard drive, destroying all of his precious research!
Bawling at his life's work being tragically torn asunder, the scientist scampered over to the escape pod and locked himself in. He jettisoned from the sinking submarine, lamenting over how he should've known such a vessel being sold for only 145.000 yen was a scam!
As for the crippled vessel, it landed against the sea floor with a dull thump, activating the seismic generator in the process. But all that was released was only a weak pulse that rippled for a couple sea miles, disturbing some fish, but nothing that would do lasting damage.
Though it did interfere with the grinding of two tectonic plates against one another, negating the creation of an earthquake that would've torn through Fuyuki.
Hey, misfortune for one man sometimes meant plenty of good fortune for others.
Back on solid ground, Taiga breathed in relief. "Phew, I thought I was gonna drown for a second there…" Despite the comment and her being drenched to the bone, she kept smiling.
"Couple more minutes, and you would've…" Qrow sighed while wringing as much water out of his shirt as he could, retracting his Aura in the process. Who knows what kind of catastrophe he'd have caused otherwise."You've got some guts jumping in there, squirt," he grumbled to a wet girl. "Guts, but not much brains."
"Do not let the latter comment dissuade you, little one!" Rider patted her wet back, as though he was trying to knock the moisture off her. "Such drive to save a small creature, even putting your own life on the line." He laughed while petting the shivering puppy nestled in her arms. "Hah, you've got spirit!"
Taiga scratched her head with a sheepish laugh. "Yeah, I'm really glad it worked out." She nuzzled the dog's head with her cheek. "And you made it back, too, little guy? Aww…"
Upon hearing Berserker X's translation of her words, Waver stared at her incredulously. "Wait, did you really just jump in there without thinking? You could've been swept away by the current!"
"Well, I did think about it a little-"
"A little?! And when exactly did you consider your actions?! A split second before diving in, or while you were paddling to the dog?" The magus inside Waver Velvet was as infuriated about this stupidity as the human inside him was worried.
"Pipsqueak's not half wrong there," Saber X agreed as he shook out some water from his ears. "You're real lucky I hopped in after you, but that was pretty dangerous."
Taiga smiled all the same while continuing to try and dry off the puppy. "Sure, but you jumped in to get me and the widdle guy out, right? I knew I could count on you guys to save me if I got into trouble."
Qrow opened his mouth to scold her for such naivete… then shut it and turned with reddening cheeks from that sweet look on her face. It looked so much like that of another with red hair and silver eyes… Damnit, I'm just a big softie, huh?
Berserker X settled for a fond laugh. "All that for a dog in the water, huh?" She and Yachiru would've been thick as thieves.
"Oh, come on, Kenny!" Taiga suddenly pushed the puppy up as high as she could towards his face. "You can't tell me that any of you guys would've let such a cute fuzzball drown, right?" The puppy began to lick and rub its paws against Kenpachi, and with Taiga standing on her tiptoes, it could reach his cheeks, mouth and nose. The girl giggled upon watching it lick his nose. "Aww, I think he likes you!"
Only then did Rider notice that while pawing at the big man's face, the puppy had pulled one of his eyepatch's straps. "Oh, careful there-"
And then Kenpachi's nose began to twitch. Iskandar traded a look with Qrow and an "Uh-oh."
"Ah…" He pulled his head back, mouth widening with each, "Ahh…" And his eyepatch loosened ever more. "Aahhh…"
Rider and Saber X quickly made to pull a wide-eyed Waver and girl (who'd retracted the doggy) away-
Just as Berserker X snapped his head forward. "A-CHOOOO!"
The sudden jerk had unsettled his Eyepatch Seal; not enough for it to fall off, but just enough for some of his true power to leak through. A crack in the dam that let loose a jet of destructive pressure. Two Servants and two young humans were knocked flat on their backs, and for just a moment, a massive burst of mana erupted from the 11th Kenpachi straight upwards.
All attuned with magic tensed up as a tremor of mana rippled across the city, Masters and Servants bracing for a threat that never approached.
The surge continued to reach up through the atmosphere, troposphere and other spheres until reaching low orbit. Finally, it struck a massive meteorite dead-on, knocking it ever so slightly off course from colliding with Fuyuki City. Instead, it continued its hurtle past Earth's atmosphere, causing no harm whatsoever.
Taiga had been pulled face-first into Saber X's chest, so she hadn't witnessed this burst. By the time she pulled herself off of her holder (sprawled on the ground) to grin dazedly to her new friend, the Heroic Spirit had reaffixed the restraint of his power properly. "Wow, you don't do anything quietly, do you, Kenny?" She laughed as she stroked the puppy, only then noticing an interesting detail. "Hey, we're all dry again!" Sure enough, the mana burst had blasted the excess moisture straight off Taiga, Qrow and the dog. "Sorry, I guess I should've asked if you were allergic to dogs."
"I'm not," Kenpachi answered after a sniff. "But I've got a bit of a sensitive nose."
Rider sprang up into a sitting position, making his Master roll off him with a surprised squawk in the process. "So, we've noticed, my friend!" His shout was also meant to draw attention away from the heavily cracked asphalt the Servant of Madness now stood on.
Waver just sighed while picking himself up. As he shook his head to regain his bearings, he felt his face grow a little rosy at watching the girl cuddle with the now dry dog again. Like nothing had happened. "…You really are too quick to trust others, you know that? Same as with being used to chase down the ones who robbed your friend's store."
Saber X gave him a pointed look while adding over their link, 'That would be us, remember?'
Luckily, Taiga hadn't noticed this interaction as she faced the boy. "Nobody's using me for anything," she answered (and Rider translated) without a hint of anger. Rather, her words sounded simple and kind. "My friend had a problem, so I decided to help out. Same with our new friend here." She nuzzled the puppy who licked her chin in turn, drawing a giggle from her. "Helping each other is natural for people, I believe that with all my heart."
Waver glanced away. "That's a nice sentiment, but not everybody's that kind." The general philosophy of all magi could attest to his statement.
"Maybe," Taiga shrugged without a dent in her perky nature. "But no matter what you or anyone else says, I'll keep believing in people being good and helpful. And I'm a stubborn one, believe me." Her giggle did nothing to diminish that strange determination in her being.
Qrow Branwen reached over to pat her on the head with a fond smile. "I've got a niece that would've have gotten along just fine with you, kitten."
"K-kitten? Wh-who are you calling a kitten, mister?!"
Waver snorted as the sputtering girl began swinging her shinai at his Servant who in turn evaded each attack with ease and a teasing smirk. "Oh, for crying out loud," he mumbled, "you really are a cute one. Makes it hard to not like you…"
Then both he and Taiga blinked in confusion as Rider's translation was interrupted on account of him receiving a double smack upside the head. "That is not how he meant it, stupid," Berserker X snarled at his friend. His time with Yachiru had made him develop a few standards. Especially where underage stuff was concerned. "The hell are you thinking, saying it like that?"
Iskandar rubbed his sore head with a pout. "Translating word-for-word is boring, we ought to spice it up a bit. Besides, they'd fit quite well together, don't you agree?"
"That's not the point," Saber X shot back, his paternal instincts flaring up. "They're still kids, Kandy! Even if the matchup looks sound, they shouldn't be getting into any of that until ten years from now!" He paused to glance between the bewildered boy and the girl who had returned to fussing with the puppy again, then corrected himself. "Make that twenty."
The King of Conquerors copied his brother-in-arms' actions before conceding in defeat, for once, with a sigh and shrug. "Fine, fine. Spoilsports…"
Waver Velvet's frown deepened while he watched the Heroic Spirits' interactions. …They better not be talking about what I think they're talking about.
Then a yell from Taiga drew everyone's attention. "Something up, kid?" Berserker X asked.
"There!" She thrust a pointer finger upwards, at one of the apartment buildings. "Up on the second floor!" Specifically, at a balcony with clothing strung up and a shadow reaching for something. "I bet it's that underwear stealer everybody in town's been talking about!" She turned with an odd fire in her eyes to the perplexed male quartet. Waver hastily cupped his hands around the puppy hastily passed to him. "You guys head for the back of the building. Come on, Kenny," he waved for the one she'd taken the greatest liking towards, "we get him from the front! That perv's not getting away!"
And befitting her fiery nature, Taiga Fujimura raced shinai in hand for the main door.
Waver balanced his new squirming cargo onto one hand and stretched the other after her. "Hey, wait-" his call was interrupted by Berserker X charging with his usual feral smirk after her. The twin blurs for the building made his head spin. "Gone already… I get Berserker X moving that fast, but her…?"
"Join the Holy Grail War," Saber X muttered next to him. "Get into fights with Heroic Spirits of other worlds. Chase after pervy crooks." He took a big gulp from his flask. "A Servant's life for me, huh?"
He was consciously trying not to recollect certain similar… incidents in Beacon Academy he may have been… involved in.
Rider by contrast was delighted to see such fire in a young soul nowadays. "This night is certainly not dull by any standards…" He then walked briskly ahead, motioning for the other two to follow. "On to the back, then, fellows! A pervert and thief must be apprehended!"
And with a twin sigh of resignation, Master and Servant followed Servant.
Kenpachi Zaraki wasn't usually the kind of guy who'd take orders from a little girl, especially if it was just to chase down some wimpy-ass thief. But damn him if this little kitten here didn't make his adrenaline boil with just her presence.
He caught up with Taiga effortlessly and kicked down the front door without even breaking his stride. "We could've just rung or tried the doorknob," she pointed out while following him inside.
The Servant looked over his shoulder while walking. "You wanna catch this guy, right? Better we don't waste any time. Besides," he flashed her a smile, "this way's more fun."
The kid seemed to be mulling this over as they headed for the stairs. Bolting up to the second floor within seconds, the badass-and-child-pair saw a man-sized shadow trudging through the hall and headed their way. She pointed while shouting, "Stop him, he must be the culprit!"
Grunting under the weight of his sack, the masked man only noticed he had company from the shout. "What the f-" he barely got out before a fist collided with his head.
Kenpachi only grunted in disappointment at how easily the man slumped to the floor. And after just one punch. "Wimp…"
Taiga prodded the unconscious culprit with her shinai, smiling triumphantly at how she received only a moan. "Great job, Kenny! He's got to be the thief, why else would he be wearing a mask?" Her nose scrunched up at the bulging sack lying on the floor. It felt soft but stuffed when she touched it. "Is this all the underwear he's stolen? What a creep, lugging it around wherever he went…"
"Life's full of sick b- creeps like that," her friend mumbled as he looked down the hall. He thought he could hear something…
Then three more men burst out of a room in front of them, and at the same time, a door further down the hall flew open as Qrow tackled another man into the adjacent wall. "Shouldn't have tried running, dirtbag." He drove a fist into the guy's stomach, making him double over.
Taiga wondered briefly how he could've gotten to the same floor they did so quickly before remembering they weren't alone here.
The first of the trio who'd came glanced around, murmuring, "The hell is going on here…?" Then his head fixed on where the one Berserker X had decked was lying. His buddies were grouping closer to him, all three keeping one hand on the large bags slung over their respective shoulders, the others drifting to inside their coats.
Taiga glared up at the collection of masked men inside the hallway. "A whole gang of underwear thieves?! Just how many perverts are in this town?!" On one hand, she was proud of her detective skills. On the other, as a girl, she could not let this travesty go unpunished!
"Uh, kitten…" She squinted her eyes over to Qrow, noticing the wariness in his voice. "I think there's only one underwear thief here," he pulled a set of lacy panties out of his captive's sweater pocket and showed it, "and I'm holding him. These guys," his red eyes focused on the tense group between him and Kenpachi and Taiga, "I don't think they're into stealing underpants."
"Huh?" Confusion swelled within the girl's head. Maybe her detective skills weren't that good. "Then who are they?"
"Well…" the Corvid Reaper's gaze traveled over the guy standing closest to him. "This is just a theory, but… judging by the ski masks, the yen bills poking out of one guy's sack, and the weapons they're concealing in their overcoats -lousy job, by the way," he tensed same as they did, "…I'd say we've stumbled upon the guys who robbed that bank a while ago."
"…Oh." For once, Taiga Fujimura was at a total loss for words. Even with her imagination, the young Kendō-enthusiast hadn't quite expected this. "…Really?"
"Really," the apparent leader snarled before drawing a handgun from his jacket, his friends rapidly following suit. Taiga's eyes went wide as two guns pointed towards her and Kenny and a third was aimed at Qrow. Three safeties could be heard clicking off. "Get out of the way and keep your fucking mouths shut! Try to be heroes, and you're dead!"
The one keeping his semiautomatic on the Remnantian Servant tilted his head slightly to his boss. "Hey, hold up, T-" he stopped his tongue just in time before he could've said a name. "One of them's just a middle-schooler, I'm not playing any part in gunning down a kid-"
The leader smacked his bag against that of his partner's with a snarl. "Shut the hell up, dumbass! We've had enough trouble these last few days, and I'm trying to keep the money we've got! You want the same thing, then grow a pair!" It had been so simple only a week ago: they knew how many guards at Fumihiko Bank were posted, when they'd be closing up, and what model the main safe was. And the plan had gone off like a hitch, at first!
All those beautiful yen pouring out of the shelves and into their sacks…
But then the police showed faster than planned, forcing the robbers pack up only half of what they'd wanted, scramble out of the bank, and hide away. Add that to the serial killings and later the child abductions, and it turned out cop activity was way above normal all over this damn city. They'd been confined to this dinky little room for over a week now, cycling through one of them to leave every now and then, quickly get some convenience store crap, and scurry back to the apartment, praying that some cop didn't spot them. The rest of the days had been staring longingly at all the money they had and couldn't freaking spend, checking their weapons, arguing over who uses up the most toilet paper, and God help the leader, if he had to play one more fucking round of "I Spy," he was going to shoot himself.
And just his shitty luck, two weirdos and a schoolgirl were messing around with some perv just when the gang tried to make a break for it!
Needless to say, Genbu Tamaki has very few qualms about discharging his gun right now, regardless of his target.
In a rare moment for her, Taiga was standing absolutely still. She gripped her shinai nervously, eyes flickering from one person to the next. Saber X's posture was tight as well while holding up the unconscious pervert (he'd fainted as soon as he saw the guns, wuss). He honestly wasn't worried about the gun shakily trained on him; even if the guy holding it obviously didn't have any experience with it, a weapon like that wouldn't even tickle a Servant like him. He could take all three of these clowns down in one second and not even need to draw Harbinger.
Problem was, a single stray shot could hit the girl if he wasn't fast enough.
The robbers were slowly edging towards the stairs, but someone was blocking their way. Tamaki snapped his handgun up to the guy's face. "Get out of my way, freak."
"Make me." Berserker X had the laxest posture of everyone there, and not even the gun aimed at his head would change that. The kid was right behind him, after all.
The smirk this one-eyed bastard gave him knocked down the last of the leader's restraints. "Fuck you!"
A terrified yelp escaped Taiga when the gun barked, and Kenny's head snapped back…
Then it slowly returned to its original position.
Saber X simply shook his head with a chuckle as the crooks stared at the devilish grin Berserker X was shooting them. A smoking bullet trapped between his teeth. "You're in trouble now…"
Pounding though it was, Taiga's heartbeat calmed a bit as she heard Kenpachi's voice untouched by distress. "Cute." The Servant's teeth crushed the bullet into lead shavings while uttering that single word.
The trio hastily began packing up, all of them aiming their guns now at the big, spikey-haired, one-eyed, very scary man when they heard knuckles cracking behind them. "Aw, don't go changing your pants just yet, boys." They glanced behind to them to see the other man popping his right hand's knuckles one at a time. "I'm here, too."
The leer those red eyes gave them, followed by another look at the smile the man-no, demon sported, made the robbers shrink together like cornered rats.
The thing about cornered rats, though? That's when they're at their most dangerous.
One of the men fumbled for something in his jacket, then a click was heard. "Heads up!" He hissed to his accomplices just as the Servants noticed something dropping to the carpet.
Berserker X quickly spun around to wrap Taiga into a protective hug just before a flash of blinding light and a heavy banging sound swept through the room. He bit back a curse while Saber X stumbled backwards, growling "Sons of-"; the dual assault wasn't painful per say, but to the heightened senses of a Servant, it was more than a little inconveniencing.
"Come on, come on!" Tamaki and the other stooge, both a little disoriented themselves from the flashbang, were pushed alongside their money bags to the stairs. "Let's get the hell out of here!"
"W-what about Watanabe? He's still back there with his part of the loot!" The fidgety one interjected even as he complied nonetheless.
By some miracle, Tamaki managed to recover from his confusion and began stumbling down the stairway. "Tough luck for him, we've gotta get away from here and those freaks!" In hindsight, bringing those flashbangs along hadn't been such a bad idea after all. Sure, they were too scrambled up in the heads to shoot, but a blown would've blown all of them up.
Taiga rubbed her ears with a whimper even as she felt herself get picked up and carried. "K-Kenny?" she mumbled into a familiar leather jacket. "W-wh-what's going on…?" They were moving down, she noticed. "Where are we going?"
"After them, of course," Berserker X snarled a little louder than normal; his ears were still ringing a bit.
These were a quick little bunch of rabbits, however, and motivated. They had scrambled into the building's garage and tumbled into their getaway van with speed rivalling that of an average Servant's. By the time Berserker X stormed into the dark passageway, the automobile was tearing out of the barely-in-time opened door, tires squealing like a baby.
Not that it stopped Kenpachi, of course. On the contrary, he was growing excited now.
Just as Taiga was able to hear and think normally (by her standards, anyway), she suddenly found herself being placed on top of a broad left shoulder. "Kenny? What are we doing?"
He flashed her a broad grin. "We're chasing those rats down, girl. You're not one to let a crime go unpunished, right?" She nodded dully, making him laugh. "Then hold on tight."
Then he broke into a fierce sprint, and the girl's fingers instinctively dug into their perch as much as they could, barely snagging her shinai under her armpit. Kenny was then out of the building and in the neighborhood again, racing like an Olympic sprinter after the van.
Any other person would've been terrified out of their minds at having to hold onto a crazy man's shoulder for dear life lest they fly off at who knows many miles per hour and turn into a messy splat on the road. Heck, Taiga Fujimura herself might've been a teensy bit worried. But somehow… the wind rushing against her face, the feeling of excitement and… security emanating from her ride… Somehow, she knew he was going only as fast as he could without inconveniencing her. She knew he wouldn't let her come to harm.
Not to mention being carried at this crazy speed just felt so fun.
It was little wonder her mouth finally let out an excited "Wheeeeeeeeeee!"
Meanwhile, Berserker X's smile gained another layer. One of nostalgia.
"What are we even doing here?" Waver grumbled even as he tried to keep the puppy from licking his face. Rider of course simply stood next to him, not doing anything to help his Master. "Saber X and Berserker X are already helping her, and for that matter, why are we wasting our time helping some girl stop a guy from stealing from clotheslines? We're fighting in a War!"
The King of Conquerors shrugged with an easygoing smile. "We are, but it does us some good to engage in something with less dire consequences every now and then. Those who behold the big picture for too long tend to forget all about the little ones. Not a healthy mindset, boy."
Waver held his chin high as the dog pawed its way up his stomach, tongue flicking. He spared an incredulous glance. "Why are you so cheerful anyway? Shouldn't a King get mad when someone usurps his authority or something?"
"How could I be mad at seeing such pure initiative, boy? It seems to be a rare thing nowadays. Besides," Rider's chuckles took on a fond flavor, "I can't help but think of an old friend of mine every time I look at that girl. When I was just a boy, there was another who would drag me on insane adventures like this all the time."
His Master watched him thoughtfully even while the puppy succeeded in his mission. "You had that kind of friend, too, huh? I bet Saber X and Berserker X would put you in that category, too."
A beaming Iskandar nodded. "Yes, the irony is not lost on me. But it's because of my friend that I learned to widen my gaze. And I hope I show that same kind of gift with my comrades before my time here is up, just as he did. And I sense they, too, grow nostalgic around that girl for their own reasons."
Neither had more time to ruminate on account of them hearing a loud noise from the building. "Was that a gunshot?" Waver wondered out loud in trepidation. Then an even louder sound rang out from its walls, making Rider tense up. His Master held the puppy instinctively close while wondering, What kind of underwear thief carries a loaded gun?!
Rider strode somewhat cautiously towards the back door, sword in hand. He knew a mundane firearm probably wouldn't be a problem for the Servants… except if Archer X was up there, and the pervert thing had just been some kind of weird ruse. He motioned for the boy to stay back, who complied with a hint of reluctance.
Suddenly, the garage door opened, and a black van zoomed out of the building next to them, tires squealing in protest, as it tore along the road. Waver barely evaded it running him down with a stumble backwards and a yelp. "Come on, come on!" He heard the robber in the passenger seat yelling at the driver. "Step on it, the crazy bastard's gaining on us!"
Then just as Waver and the puppy had managed to calm down a bit, another blur blasted relentlessly after the vehicle: Berserker X. His powerful legs showed no sign of needing to stop anytime soon, his arms hung loosely to the side, and a smile broad as that of a crocodile was stretched across his face.
It was only slightly bigger than the one his passenger carried. "Get them, Kenny!" The teenaged girl cheered with a sunny laugh, one hand holding onto his leather-coated shoulder, the other snapping her shinai forward again and again to urge her steed. Ponytailed brown hair flapped about in the winds that rushed past her, and a blinding sort of energy emanated from her… or maybe it was really coming from Berserker X. Hard to tell.
Either way, Waver Velvet instinctively knew that sight would haunt his dreams for years to come.
The same could be said for any person, male or female, old or young, who'd been woken up by the ruckus and looked outside.
Rider noted this development and willed away his spatha with an eased smile. "Kenpachi's got this."
Sure enough, the Heroic Spirit of Soul Society origins steadily drew ever closer towards his target. Then the back window was smashed to shards, and a gun poked out to open fire. He veered to the left, letting the bullets fly past him, and Taiga let out a yelp before continuing to giggle. The front passenger window opened for another semiauto to try and hit him. But even if those rounds could've injured him, Kenpachi avoided them easily.
Then again, the robbers were only growing more desperate. "Hurry up and kill him already, you idiots!"
"Why don't you try shooting this guy, ass-Hey, he's slowing down!" The one called, hope blossoming in the robbers. Hope that grew when the rearview mirrors showed that, yes, that crazy demon… that Oni was no longer keeping pace with them. Trying not to get his cargo hurt? Either way, they'd still have to deal with police who'd be alerted to the shooting.
Berserker X snarled; on second thought, playing cat-and-mouse with the car was starting to bore him. The morons inside wouldn't be able to put up a good scrap against him anyway, not with their non-magic toys. But there was still a chance of a stray bullet hitting his passenger if they kept this up. Time to put an end to this dance. He made to summon his nodachi…
…Before a familiar bamboo flashed within view. On second thought, it'd be overkill to waste his blade on these dickless rabbits. "Hey, kid." And he had something more fun in mind.
Taiga blinked as she was pulled off of her ride and gently plopped onto her feet next to him. Moreover, he'd stopped running. "What's wrong, Kenny? They're getting away."
"Not for long." The big man held out his hand in front of her. "Mind if I borrow your shinai?"
"Huh?" Taiga tilted her head confused but passed him her weapon all the same. She trusted and liked the big funny guy who jingled whenever he moved. "Sure, but why?"
He didn't answer at first, simply taking a few practice swings, right hand holding the shinai. He didn't seem all that worried about the robbers even as the distance between them and their car widened. Finally, he asked her, "Remember when I told you about never getting the hang of Kendō?" She nodded, curious despite herself. "There was one lesson I kinda liked."
The Servant's left fingers slowly joined the right ones around the handle. "You know, a sword swung with both hands is stronger than when swung with only one."
"Huh?" Damn, that girl looked adorable when she tilted her head that way. Like a kitten with a bushy brown tail. "…Well, yeah, it's kinda obvious, Kenny. Everybody knows that, right?"
"Sure…" Something in that smile he gave Taiga made something click in her. A rush went through the girl's body as she watched him pull back her shinai over his right shoulder…
The car was probably forty meters away and making to turn left…
And then Kenpachi Zaraki swung.
Jingle.
Air rippled in an instant across the street and smashed into the side of the car, flipping it over as its passengers cried out in surprise. The vehicle landed on its side and rolled twice before coming to a groaning stop. Its warped metal looked like it had been on the wrong end of a rhino's charge.
And from their separate perches, one Hassan and a Shadow Clone of Assassin X noted this display of raw might with both incredulity and trepidation.
Taiga Fujimura stared at the scene, her eyes and mouth wide as dinner plates. Meanwhile, Berserker X straightened up from his crouch with a chuckle. "…But most don't know just how much it can make a difference."
Then he realized he was holding only a busted stump of a handle now. "…Ah. Whoops." The Servant scratched the back of his head before holding it to his friend with a rare guilty look in his eye. "Sorry, kid, thought it'd be a little tougher."
Taiga looked down at what was left of her shinai, then up at him with eyes twinkling like stars. "That… was so AWESOME!" She squealed out while snatching the handle from him, twiddling it between her fingers and somehow avoiding finger cuts. "OhmygoshhowdidyoudothatyoujustswungwithbothhandscanImakeswingslikethattooteachmeplease-"
Kenpachi just patted her on the head with a fond chuckle while glancing behind them. "Enjoy the show?"
Iskandar only clapped his hands in applause while Waver and Qrow's stares were fixed on the severely busted van miles away from them. Loose yen bills fluttered about in the night air and pained groans could be heard from the metal, both mechanical and human. "…Well, at least you didn't kill them," the Remnantian Heroic Spirit finally said. He thumbed back at the building right when louder growing sirens could be heard. "Neighbors called the cops when they heard shooting, and I left both kinds of thieves strung up for pickup."
Rider nodded at the information. "Then it's time for us to make ourselves scarce. A rowdy bunch like us shouldn't draw the attention of the mundane authorities, correct?" Waver nodded hastily to this wisdom, almost unsettling the puppy within his grip. Taiga looked a little unsure about running from cops, so the King of Conquerors gave her a little motivation. "You no doubt wish to bring this young hound back to its home, don't you?"
That gave her a new purpose and distracted her from the sirens. "Right let's get going!" And off she skipped into a random direction, a merry quartet of men all amused by at least some measure with her perkiness.
It was Saber X who found a tag attached to the doggy's collar, complete with owner's name and address, and Taiga knew the neighborhood just well enough to find their destination. The little guy bounded out of Waver's arms as soon as they came close enough and began barking happily, prompting a little girl to open the door and scoop him up in relief. She showered her "big sister" and "big brothers" with thankyous for "Biliz's" safe return, and four satisfied souls went on their merry way.
Dragging along a significantly embarrassed one. "You allergic to thankyous in general, or just if they come from cute little girls?" Saber X teased him.
"It's alright to feel happy from time to time," Rider chimed in with his own grin. "Or are you simply not familiar with experiencing that feeling, poor boy?"
"O-Oh, j-just shut up, all of you!"
Taiga giggled before releasing a happy sigh, looking up at the stars above. "But like I told you, it's a good thing we brought that girl her puppy back. She was so happy!"
"You should see my nieces when they're playing around with their dog." Qrow chuckled after translating for Waver (Iskandar was on probation). "A corgi, feisty little guy known to make a little mischief, but he loves them as much as they love him. Total cuddle bug."
Taiga was practically swooning at the description. "I want a cuddle buddy like that…"
Waver eyed her with a minutely fond sort of exasperation. "You know that means feeding, walking and cleaning up after the dog, right?" Then he sighed. "Like that'll put an end to you being cheerful. Running around town, getting into adventures, helping others… don't you have any problems of your own to deal with?"
"Sure, I do," Taiga replied, not taking her eyes away from the stars. "I'm a girl still going to school, of course I've got worries. Schoolwork, finding love, my future…" She took on a more thoughtful tone with each word. "Plenty to think about."
That was when Waver realized this girl standing before them wasn't just a peppy soul able to find joy in everything. She, too, had concerns about what she'd have to do, where she was headed in life… not much different from him, minus the magecraft part. But unlike him, she still found the ability to smile at life.
"Future, huh…" Before the student knew it, he was speaking. "You definitely have decisiveness and a knack for leading. Sure, you sometimes go overboard, waste your energy on something pointless, but even then, you make it look admirable. If I were you, I'd find a way to put these good traits to use." He didn't even notice the impressed looks he was receiving from the three Servants contracted to him, even while Saber X continued to be his interpreter. "Maybe you could find a line of work that teaches others. Heck, be a teacher."
The girl was gazing at him with such interest now it was starting to make Waver uncomfortable. Fortunately, Rider spoke up with a gentle (and proud) smile. "He makes a fine point with what he's advising you, young one. In life, I had a governor much like you in spirit." His smile broadened in fondness and recollection. "Keep at it, put some hard work in, and you can grow to be a teacher who educates young inquisitive minds. You might even surpass him!"
"Whoa, you must really think highly of this guy. Wonder who he is…" she mumbled with a little awe. Then she chewed her lip pensively. "But… I'm not sure I'd make a good teacher…"
"Trust me," she looked to the shortest of the three men, smirking back at her. "I had the exact same thought when I started out as a teacher." He shrugged. "I only did a couple of years before quitting, but it was fun. And I am responsible for training more than a few students that later became badasses." One in particular, he thought about a certain scythe-wielding girl dear to his heart. "So, if a guy like me could pull it off for a while, I think you've got a good shot, kitten."
Her cheeks puffed in annoyance at that nickname, but she still looked a little unsure. That's when Berserker X finally chimed in. "You've proven that you don't back down easy from anything, squirt." That one eye of twinkled gently with faith. "Go at it with the same fire you channel when swinging a sword, and you'll do just fine."
Taiga Fujimura turned away from all of them, her flaming cheeks illuminating a silly grin. "Aww… you're all making me blush…" she giggled before pumping her fists, one still holding her shinai's remains tightly, in determination. "Okay, I'll give it a shot and do my best!" Then she thrust a finger of power towards a certain spiky-haired guy. "And don't think I've forgotten that awesome moment before, Kenny! Me and you are going to have a match one day, count on it!" She paused to glance at her handle before adding with the same passion, "After I've got myself a new shinai!"
Kenny barked out a laugh she somehow knew wasn't mocking at all, but a challenge. "Anytime, anywhere, girl."
Rider gave a double thumbs up in approval, but Waver and Saber X paled at how a match between those two would most likely result in a kitten's remains being splattered across the city. The Servant clapped his hands and spoke quickly to get their attention. "W-well, let's put a raincheck on that fight seeing as it's late enough tonight, right?"
"Y-yeah," the boy picked up the same page, "looks like we've got everything else covered. So, get home safely, then." He waved a little hastily to the girl.
"Oh, you guys are going home now?" She shrugged after a moment of looking disappointed (which Rider and especially Berserker X shared). "Alright, have a good evening! I'm going back to tracking down those wine thieves. Thanks again for the help, all of you!"
Waver had been making to walk off but spun around in surprise. "Wait, you're still trying to find those thieves?" Him being one of the culprits aside, this decision of hers didn't sit right with him. "Fuyuki's gotten pretty dangerous at night these few days. Maybe you should go home, stay safe for now." He then cleared his throat while glancing away. "D-don't take it as me being really worried about you…"
Rider was finally allowed to translate again under scrutiny, but he added, "That's what this dishonest boy said." Neither of his comrades objected to the addendum. "But we're all in agreement, it's high time you went home, don't you think?"
The girl fidgeted a little under their concerned stares. "Well… I have to find those wine barrels that got stolen…"
"Let us worry about that," the biggest man assured her. "By my word as the King of Conquerors, I treat all those I consider my friends with due rewards." He thumped his chest as his eyes took on a solemn shine. Meanwhile, the boy traded a telling look with the most sarcastic man. "No matter how long it takes or how it happens, I shall ensure that you shall reclaim these wine barrels."
"Huh? What are you talking about?"
"Just trust him, kid," Kenny assured her while the boy walked over to you. "Head on home now, and the next time we meet, we just might have as much fun as tonight." His words carried a promise of his own that rippled inside her young heart.
"Sure, that sounds great!" The schoolgirl smiled at him in turn before frowning. "Wait, I only know your name, Kenny, and I haven't even told you guys mine. Sorry about that, I'm-"
Then she blinked. "Wait…" Her thoughts felt all murky all of a sudden. She looked up; what was she going to say just now? Who were these guys? Had she been talking to them? Didn't seem to matter now, though, what was she even doing out here, wasn't it pretty late…?
One overriding idea rang about in her brain. "Need to go home… better head home now…" And she wandered off, still dazed, but with purpose in her steps.
Saber X watched the kid go with a heavy sigh. "She gonna recall anything of our cops-and-robbers adventures tonight?"
Waver retracted his hand while shaking his head. "I made sure to wipe her memories the best I could while implanting the suggestion. It's admittedly not stellar work, but if there's any discrepancies, the church will surely notice and take care of her. I-I don't mean kill her-take care of her!" He quickly added as two Heroic Spirits eyed him. "Come on, let's head back."
The Servants went on to follow their Master with varying levels of reluctance. "Are you really satisfied with this decision, boy?" Rider asked without anger, only a little sadness.
"It's the right thing to do. The Holy Grail War's only going to get even wilder now, and we can't afford to drag innocent people into the crossfire. Looks like the rogue Servants may be doing enough of that already. Fuyuki's going to become more dangerous at night than ever before." Waver listed these facts without cheer or bitterness; they were unmistakable truth.
It was a sad moment when even Kenpachi Zaraki listened to logic. But instead of dwelling on not even saying goodbye to that bundle of energy in a girl's body, he looked forward to their next meeting. And maybe a good fight. Right now, he'd blast her to the moon, of course, but in a couple years…
"Besides," Waver cleared his throat while facing straight ahead, "reckless, crazy girls like that tire me out."
Qrow smirked despite his own resignation at going separate ways. Still, it wasn't the first time he'd done that with someone he liked. "Aw, do I hear wedding bells in the distant future?" He drawled before sipping from his flask.
The student who'd made himself a Master of three whirled around to glare at him, face red as Iskandar's eyes shimmering with laughter. "Watching you trip over yourself when you're with an incredible girl like that is a true treat!"
"Y-y-you all don't know w-what you're talking about!" Waver snapped a finger at his world's Servant. "On that note, what are you thinking, making her a promise like that? Where are we supposed to get two new wine barrels, Idiot?!"
Berserker X dug his pinky about in his ear. "Good point. You've got any wine stashed away in that Reality Marble of yours, Candy?"
"Nope!" Then Rider paused, scratching his beard with a thoughtful expression. "Not a bad idea, though…" Then he shrugged in a happy-go-lucky manner. "Oh, well, we can simply pilfer another market for two or three fresh barrels. Like that one over there!"
Then as Waver Velvet frantically tried to stop his two most rambunctious Servants from breaking into a different store, Saber X just hung back to take another drink from his trusty flask. "Just another night in a Grail War…"
A sentiment echoed by both Assassins spying on them, trying to process the insanity they'd witnessed.
For years to come, rumors would circulate around the granddaughter of the Fujimura family's head. Some claim she aided in the arrest of dangerous bank robbers, others claim she was responsible for averting three natural disasters in the same night. However, no one could say whether they were actually true or just make believe, not even Taiga herself. Every time she tried to remember what made her pursue studying English, or who had inspired her unconventional form of swordsmanship, the memories would be just a little out of her reach.
Nevertheless, she became the star of Homurahara Academy's Kendō club for a brief time before the officials disqualified her from all tournaments. One reason for this decision which upset many of Taiga's fans was the wrapping of a tiger strap under the guard of her beloved Tora-Shinai. A cute little accessory for Taiga, but bad etiquette for formal Kendō matches.
Another reason was that regardless of the bout or the opponent, Taiga would face them with exclusively her right hand holding her shinai, never both. Except for that one tournament bout where the referees let the strap slide but insisted she must swing her sword with both hands.
Eye-witnesses state that at first, the little girl and her opponent, a fourth-dan practitioner considered a rising star himself, were bowing to one another. Then when the referees waved for them to begin, a crack of thunder echoed through the hall, a gust of wind, and next thing everyone knew, Taiga Fujimura's opponent was lying flat on his back outside the ring, his shinai reduced to splinters and a dent in his men-gane. The Tiger had taken a single step, both hands on her shinai in post-swing.
Now, more than a few claim that this story was utter nonsense or at least embellished. But little miss Fujimura was ushered pretty quickly out of the arena, a big fat "REJECTION" stamp on her forehead that took two weeks to wash off afterwards. And her opponent never so much as looked at a shinai for the rest of his life.
Taiga Fujimura's eternal optimism, of course, kept her from dwelling on this rejection. Instead, she continued her English studies with the same passion she had shown in swinging her sword, and she eventually became Homurahara's English teacher, as well as supervisor for the school's archery dojo. Many of her students took to calling her "the Tiger of Fuyuki," a nickname Taiga does not appreciate to this day.
None, however, dared to ask why a handful of people had dubbed her "Oni-Rider" in her youth.
This is indeed canon to my story. I showed a fraction of this performance in Chapters 12 and 13. Sadly, the only information I have of this little Drama's canon version is from what I read on the Type-Moon wiki and some translations off Tumblr. So, a good part of what I write is my ideas for how this crazy adventure with our favorite tiger-Smack! Ow! …went.
Did I include the sporadic mentioning of bank robbers in previous chapters of this mega-crossover for the sole purpose of writing this scene with the Tiger of Fuyuki? Yes. Yes, I did ;-). My apologies to all those who were expecting some grander purpose. This bonus was written mainly for my amusement, so while canon, it doesn't need to be taken so seriously as the others.
Happy one-year anniversary for Fate/Zero Paradox!