AUTHOR'S NOTE: This does not take place anywhere near that town.
IN A VALLEY, NEAR A RIVER, THERE'S A TOWN CALLED PERFECT
"You've been staring at that screen for nearly ten minutes," the Fifth Doctor said mildly.
Margaret gave him a dark look. "I hate writer's block," she growled. "I'm trying to get this crossover done, but these parody chapters keep getting in the way."
"That's hardly my fault."
"I didn't say it was your fault. But this is supposed to be a serious story. How can I concentrate on serious with all this random…stuff happening?"
The Doctor frowned. "I've no idea. Perhaps you might take things up with your muse."
"I can't," Margaret moaned. "She went to the movies with Jim."
"Well, that's inconvenient!"
"Yeah, I'd wouldn't've minded going," a male voice from the door rejoined.
Margaret looked up, her eyes growing wide. "Jason! You're not supposed to be here! You're my original character!"
"You didn't say OC's were forbidden in your rules," Jason replied.
"I know, but I kind of thought you'd understand–"
"Did you or did you not," Jason interrupted, "say at one time that I am in every one of your mulit-chapter Doctor Who fics?"
"Um…well…"
"And is this, or is this not, a multi-chapter Doctor Who fic?"
"It's a round robin!" Margaret protested.
"But you started it, didn't you?" Jason shot back.
"He has a point," the Doctor injected.
"Shut up," Margaret snapped. "You're no help at all."
"Ha! Ten points for the OC!" Jason gave the Doctor a high five.
"Okay, fine. You've made an appearance. Now shoo!" Margaret waved her hand hoping this would convince the interloping Alterran to go back to the chapter from which he had escaped. Unfortunately, he remained obstinately where he was.
"I have a complaint," Jason said firmly.
Margaret rolled her eyes. "Now what?
"This crossover chapter you're doing now…"
"Yes…"
"I get the bad end of things again. Again!"
"You're a supporting character," the Doctor pointed out. "I can't rescue you if you don't get into trouble."
"I know," Jason replied. "But I mean, really. I've been kidnapped, beaten up, left for dead, shot–I don't know how many times…"
"Do you want me to count?" Margaret asked.
"No!"
"Just trying to be helpful."
"And I don't get to kill anybody!" Jason protested.
Margaret raised an eyebrow. "You're not allowed to kill. It's in your character profile."
"I want it changed."
"What?"
"You heard me. I want my profile changed."
The Doctor sat back in his chair, a smug expression on his face. "Shall I act as negotiator here? I've centuries of experience."
Margaret groaned. "Great. My muse leaves for just a few hours and you two take over the story again!"
"I'm not taking over the story," the Doctor protested. "Jason is! He's always trying to take over the story."
"Well, just once it would be nice to be able to save the day!" Jason said angrily.
"You're not the hero," the Doctor shot back.
"What if I want to be?"
"You can't," Margaret injected firmly. "That would make you a Mary Sue."
"No, it wouldn't!"
"Look, I already let you have sex with Leela, isn't that enough?" Margaret pointed out.
The Doctor's eyebrows went up. "You had sex with Leela!"
Jason gave Margaret a dark look. "You promised not to tell him that."
"No, I promised not to have him walk in on you," Margaret replied.
"You also promised more than one story."
"Ah. I got stuck on the second one."
"That's what you always say," Jason moaned.
"People want to read about the Doctor saving the universe, not you. And as much as I love you, Jason, dear. You are still just a supporting character."
Jason hung his head, clearly dejected. "That's not fair."
Margaret and the Doctor exchanged glances. The Doctor rose to his feet, putting an arm around Jason's shoulder. "Tell you what," he said brightly, "let's you and I go play "Jedi Academy" on Jim's computer network."
Jason gave an unenthusiastic shrug.
"I'll even let you win."
Jason looked up sharply, his eyes sparkling. "Let me win? Ha! I'm gonna kick your ass." He turned and vanished through the door.
The Doctor gave a knowing smile. "You can try," he replied as he followed after him.
Margaret shook her head, drawing a deep breath. "Maybe I should concentrate on the other characters…"
Suddenly Jason called out from the next room. "Hey, Marg? Did you know there's an army of Daleks on your front lawn?"
"What? No, there can't be!" Margaret called back from her office. "I don't write Dalek stories."
"Shall I tell them that?"
"Yes. I don't think my neighbors will appreciate being vaporized by Daleks. And they'll kill the grass."
Jason went outside, shooing the Dalek army into the black hole in the back yard. "Okay, they've gone," he announced as he came back inside.
"Hey, you got to save the day," Margaret pointed out.
"Oh, shut up!"