AUTHOR'S NOTE: Jim has always wanted to do stand up.
Apologies to Jeff Foxworthy
AND IN ATLANTA, GEORGIA
You Just Might Be A Whovian if…
If you hear "Doesn't she/he look tired to you?" and you burst out laughing…
If you've ever mistaken a silver trashcan with gold bumps for a Dalek…
If you know what BEM means and can use it in a sentence…
If you use Doctor Who quotes in the subject lines of your e-mails… (Guilty!)
If you've ever been asked what the doctor said, and you ask which one…
If you've ever tried to build your own TARDIS…
If you own a replica of the TARDIS… (Guilty!)
If you dress as one of the canon characters on regular basis…
If you count down the minutes until the next program is on…
If everyone you know is aware of the show, despite having never seen it…
If you can correctly pronounce Raxacoricofallapatorius…
If you know that Gallifrey is not in Ireland…
If you can correctly name all the actors who played companions on the show…
If you know why the Fifth Doctor always wore celery on his lapel…
If you can name the episode he explained that in…
If you can name an episode in which there were no guest stars…
If you can name an episode in which the Doctor did not have a companion…
If you own at least one scarf more that 10 feet long… (Guilty!)
If you've ever made a scarf more than 10 feet long… (Guilty!)
If you've ever bought Jelly Babies just to add them to you DW collection…
If you've ever attempted to locate the formula for Nitro-9 on the internet…
If you've ever written a Doctor Who fan fiction…
If you've ever had a conversation over which Doctor is/was the best…
If you laugh every time you hear someone say, "Excellent,"…
If you've created your own Doctor Who desktop theme complete with .wav files…
If you can name all the actors who've played the Doctor in order…
If you think "Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow," makes perfect sense…
If you know what a Gumblejack is…
If you've ever watched X-Files and wondered why the Doctor doesn't show up to set them straight…
AND
If you understood all of these jokes, then you are definitely a Whovian.
- - - -
Jim took a bow and returned to his table amid thunderous applause. What a great audience for his first open mike night.
"Not bad," the Fourth Doctor said approvingly. "But isn't there supposed to be at least on canon character in these submissions?"
"What do you think you are?"
"Bugger."