As we all know from "Harold the Butcher" on Season 3 of Hey Arnold,
Harold loves meat. Upon that episode, Harold got to be Mr. Green's
apprentice. Unfortunately, it was only for that episode. Why? Well
here's the long awaited explanation for that:
One day Mr. Green left his butcher shop to run some errands. He left
his apprentice, Harold, in charge. After several hours, Mr. Green came
back and was scarred for life:
Mr. Green: "Man what a day! I sure hope that Harold took good care of
my shop while I was out."
Mr. Green walks in his store and sees Harold lying on the ground naked
with a hamhock on his crotch. There's semen stains all over the walls
and a big drip of semen falls on his hat.
Harold: "Ooooohhh. Man. That was too much. Boy I love meat!"
Mr. Green is in shock; Harold sits up and notices him at the door
Harold: "What the-- MR. GREEN! Um... I..."
Mr. Green: "Wh...What the fuck were you doing! Why the hell is my
store like... THIS!"
Harold: "Don't be mad Mr. Green! I can explain!"
Mr. Green: "I sure hope like hell that you can, because, quite frankly,
I can't! Why, Harold, why?"
Harold: "You see Mr. Green... I... was bored! Yeah, that's right, I was
bored!"
Mr. Green: "OO. I see. So since business was slow, or because you
scared all of my dear customers away with your perversion, or both, YOU
decided that it was ok for you to have sex with ALL of my meat
products!"
Harold: "I didn't just have sex with them... I miss Patty...sniff"
Brief Silence
Harold: "Mr. Green?"
Mr. Green: "Yes, Harold?"
Harold: "I was getting blue balls, so that's why I kind of made a tad
bigger mess than I originally inten-"
Mr. Green: "OH SHUT UP, YOU SICK FUCK!"
Harold: "Huh? What?"
Mr. Green: "Look, you got your man-goo all over my store! ALL OVER!
It's on the meat, no pun intended, it's on the counters, the doors, the
windows, the furniture, and for some reason it's even on the knives!
Now I'm sure that you have your own sick reasons for screwing the
products and leaving your DNA EVERYWHERE, but I don't like it one bit!
I hired you to be my apprentice, not to violate my store! You said you
love meat... I didn't think you loved it in this way!"
Harold: "WAAAAAAHHHH! I'm sorry Mr. Green! I really am!"
Mr. Green: "Yeah, I know. You're pathetic!"
Harold: "Please don't tell anyone!"
Mr. Green: "Believe it or not, I won't. However, you leave my damn
store and NEVER come back! You do that, and no one will ever know! Deal?"
Harold: "sniffOk, that's cool...One last thing before I go though:
there's a big brisket in the back that I forgot, could I just-"
Mr. Green: "LEAVE NOW!"
Harold: "AAAAHHH! Ok, I'm sorry! I'll go!"
Harold gets up and runs out of the store naked
Mr. Green: "Geez... this sucks. Whew. Oh well. It could be worse...
hopefully no one else knows..."
Suddenly Arnold walks up to the store
Arnold: "Hey Mr. Gre- YIPES!"
THE END