Thanks for the reviews! Fine by me, sammy. I don't mind letting Kuwabara be alone forever. That might just save mankind! I let my mind wander free for a while and this is what it came up with, the new pairings are YusukeKeiko, HieiKurama, TouyaYukina, KoenmaBotan, and JinAyame. Don't worry; you wont see the 'other' stuff until later on, way later on. So it will be shonen-ai ish leading to yaoi later on. Sorry hieisasukeluver, but I don't want to scar Yukina for life. I'll try to keep the swearing part in mind. Enjoy!
"How the fuck do we do that?" I asked as the old dinosaur left the room.
"With these," The old hag said when she returned. She held out wards. Now I know that when Hiei wakes up, he wont be a happy camper. Just as the fossil went to put it on Hiei's Jagan, his Jagan went blank, kinda glazed over, like it died. Grandma stopped for a second before she slapped it on. The bleeding stopped, well the Jagan's did.
"What the fuck kinda mess up wards were those?" I asked.
"They seal the demons energy," Kurama said as he put a cold cloth on Hiei's forehead. "Hiei's Jagan is the source of his energy, when it bleeds, it usually means that there is something wrong with his system."
"In English?" I asked. I hate being in the loop.
"Just drop it dimwit," The old sack of skin an' bones said.
"Why should I listen to you?" I asked as I started to grin. The next thing I knew, I was seeing the floor, up close an' personal. "Damn you old bitch!" I yelled as I jumped up from the floor. I saw everyone but Yukina and Oldie giggling, Hiei was unable to, plus he would only smirk anyways. Well, I wouldn't call what Kuwabara was doing giggling, more like not being able to breathe, only laugh. Yukina's eyes were wide and Genkai's eye was twitching…again. She seems to do that a lot lately.
"Maybe you should settle this without violence?" Yukina said as she saw that old, granny panties was gonna try an' make a move. Not like that! She's way too old for me. I'd rather kiss Kuwabara, and that's saying something! The almost senile, old bat started to grin. Kinda like the Cheshire cat on Alice in Wonderland, don't ask how I know.
"Fine, meet me at the clearing tomorrow. I'm going to make you sweat," Grandma said. Kuwabara then covered his eyes.
"BAD IMAGES!!! BAD IMAGES!!!" the baka yelled as he fell to the floor, twitching. What is this, National Twitching month?
"What is it Kuwabara?" Kurama said as he an' Yukina ran to his sides to see if anything was wrong…well more than usual.
"In my mind-" Kuwabara said. Wait, Kuwabara has a mind??? When the fuck did this happen? "-I saw Urameshi fucking Genkai in the clearing!" Right then I threw up. Granny did to, Yukina had no idea what he meant by 'fucking', an' Kurama gagged.
"What do you mean Kazuma?" Yukina asked. Kurama then went over to Yukina an' she turned a light shade of green. "Please excuse me." Yukina ran out of the room with her hand covering her mouth. She then returned in a few minutes, no longer green. "Sorry about that."
"No problem," the old wench said. Ya know what, I think it was better when she was in her room. As they say, out of sight, out of mind. Problem is, who are 'they'?
"Back on track," Kurama said when everyone had recovered from Kuwabara's little 'announcement'. "We have to find out what is wrong with Hiei, and to do that we must go to the Reikai."
"To Pacifier's Kingdom we go!" I yelled as I stood up. Kurama and Granny from hell raised their eyebrows. Like I've never done this before, they should know me by now.
"And how do you plan to do that?" Oldie two locks asked. Seriously, I think she's losing her hair.
"Umm, Kurama?" I asked. Kurama smiled.
"Reikai has a book of all known poisons in the Makai, Ningenkai and Reikai. All we need to do is get it from Koenma's library. Then we can find, or in certain cases, make a antidote. But first, we need to get permission from Koenma, I wont break my probation if he is willing to comply," Kurama said as he looked at all of us.
"Sure, if we can't get a vacation from Mr. I'm high an' Mighty, Yet I Still Shit In my Pants, than he can at least give us a book to borrow," I said as I started to search my pockets. Did I put it in the left of the right? I think it was the…GOT IT!!! I pulled it out an' flipped it open. "YO!!! PACIFIER SUCKER!!! PICK UP!!!" Koenma's face appeared.
"Is everything alright? How did the last mission go? Did you get the Gem?" Koenma started his line of fire, question after question, WITHOUT BREATHING!!!
"Hey! Stop talking; you're giving me a headache. Just get us to your library."
"Why do you-"
"Just send the portal, Kurama will tell you."
"Fine."
"You guys ready?" I asked Kurama an' Kuwabara as I hung up the communicator. Kurama nodded, Kuwabara was 'trying' to talk to Yukina. Notice how it is different from any other word, hence the underlined, bold, an' in italics, that's because all he did was mutter an' spit. I'm surprised that we didn't need a boat an' a raincoat for Yukina. The portal appeared in the middle of the room. "Time to see the baby!" We went through the portal and were met by a stack of papers an' ogres running like their life depended on it. Maybe they had to change Koenma's diaper, which would explain the running away part.
"Now that you are here, WHERE'S THE GEM???????" Koenma yelled as he jumped out from behind the stacks of paper. My heart felt like it stopped.
"What the fuck was that for?!!!!! You trying to give me a heart attack?!?!?!? IT"S NOT MY TIME TO DIE, AT LEAST FOR THE THIRD TIME!!!!!" I yelled at the teenage-looking Koenma.
"Sorry, now where was I? Oh yes, why do you need the book Kurama?" Kurama grinned as he looked at Koenma. You know what? I know a lot of people whose names begin with a 'K'.
"I'll tell you while we get the book," Kurama said as he let Koenma lead us out of the room. On the way there, I was arguing with Kuwabaka. Look! Another K! Am I the only one with a Y?
"Just shut your face an' move your fat ass!" I yelled at Kuwabara.
"My ass isn't fat!" Kuwabara yelled as he made an attempt to look at it.
"Your head is."
"Is not!"
"IS TOO!!!"
"IS NOT!!!"
"IS TOO!!!"
"IS NOT!!!"
"IS TOO!!!"
"IS NOT!!!"
"We're here," Koenma said, stopping our fight. We walked in as quietly as possible. Koenma told us that any loud sound can set off traps. That plus the fact that Kurama said he would rip out our voice boxes an' intestines, shove our voice boxes down our throat while we were gagged with our intestines. I bet he wouldn't threaten us if Hiei were here. You know what, if I didn't know any better, an' according to Keiko…I don't, I'd think he likes Hiei. Fuck! He likes Hiei! Wait does Hiei know?
"Yusuke?" Kurama said, snapping me out of my thoughts. He was waving his hand in front of my face.
"Huh?" I asked as I came back to reality, well the world with Keiko in it, kinda.
"Are you alright?" Koenma asked. I nodded.
"Um, Kurama? Can I speak to you alone for a sec?" I asked as everyone stared at me.
"Of course." Kurama an' I walked to a secluded part of the huge fucking library. "What do you want to talk about?"
"Why didn't you tell us?"
"What do you mean?"
"You didn't tell us that you liked Hiei." Kurama blushed redder than his hair, is that even possible?
"Where did you hear that?"
"I figured it out. Does he know?"
"Umm, no."
"Well you gotta tell him."
"I will; I'm just not ready yet."
"Well, good luck when you do."
"Thanks, we better get back to the group." With that, Kurama and I started off to find the rest of our gang. "And Yusuke."
"Yeah?"
"Please don't tell anyone."
"I won't." We found Kuwabara standing on a tall ladder while Koenma was sleeping underneath it; his pacifier was on the floor next to him. "Do you want the honor, or should I?"
"You, I wont be a part of this." I grinned as I walked over to the ladder as quietly as I could. Koenma was still asleep as I grabbed the sides of the ladder. I looked back to Kurama, asking him, with my eyes, if he was sure. He nodded. I turned back to the ladder an' shrugged. I started to shake the ladder an' I heard Kuwabara scream. I then pulled it away from the bookshelf as hard as I could, which was difficult because Kuwabara weighs more than the entire library. With that yank, Kuwabara fell from the sky, an' landed on the sleeping Koenma. Koenma woke up when the baka landed on him. But what really made me an' Kurama laugh was the fact that Kuwabara landed with his ass on Koenma's face. Koenma then fainted from the smell, or something close to that, and Kuwabaka was stunned from the fall. After a while, Kurama an' I got a camera, thank you Botan for sending us it, an' took a few pictures when we could finally breathe.
"Ugh," Kuwabara said as he woke up from his little Dreamland. He then stated to sit up, crushing Koenma's face. "My ass hurts." Right then, Koenma woke up. His mouth was open an' Kuwabara's ass was on it. He then bit down on Kuwabara's ass, causing us to laugh harder, an' Kuwabara to jump up. "OW!!!"
"Damn! Do you ever bathe?!" Koenma yelled as he began to suck in air like he was gonna die in a few seconds.
"Yeah," Kuwabara said. Kurama an' I were still laughing. "What's so funny?"
"You," I said in between laughing.
"That's it!" Kuwabara yelled as he charged at me. When he got close enough, I tripped him an' he went flying into the nearest bookshelf. An' then the domino game began. Every bookshelf in that row was on the floor in seconds.
"NO!!!" Koenma yelled as he watched them fall to the floor. "When father finds out, he's going to kill me!"
"Oops," I said as Kuwabara staggered to his feet. "See what you just did!"
"Found it!" Kurama yelled.
"Really?" I asked as we went over to Kurama. He was sitting on the floor with a large, and I mean large, book in his lap. He was flipping through the pages fast than anyone I've ever seen. He then stopped flipping as he read through the page.
"We're going to need a portal to the Makai," Kurama said.
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