Rain: Hello everyone! This is Rain with a brand new chapter and be warned, this will be Edward heavy chapter so sit down, relax and enjoy!

Mario: Here we go!

The Crimson Eyed Drifter: Distance between Hearts
Chapter Six

Cullen Home
Edward Cullen

In the many years that I have been alive, I always wanted a mate.

When Carlisle had found his mate, I remember being so happy for him but also very envious.

When Rosalie found her mate, the happiness had lessened and my envy grew and (at the time) when Alice and Jasper appeared, I couldn't hide the jealousy I felt towards my family.

I believed that my mate would be perfect. She would light up the room whenever she appeared, she would want to dance with me and put on classical feats alongside me and we would be forever in love.

I believed in this so much that for all of these years, I held tightly to this image of perfection and restrained myself from that desire that I felt pumping through my venom-filled veins, turning down every human and vampire that threw themselves at me.

But then she happened.

Isabella Marie Swan came stumbling into my life.

Her blood sang to me the moment she had entered the school and I wanted nothing more than to do many sinful things to her but I couldn't allow myself to be tarnished like that so I ran to Alaska for a while.

When I returned, her blood called to me but this time, I was strong enough to hold back and it gave me time to actually focus on her more.

I found her charming and witty in her own way and to make it better, I was unable to read her mind, which gave me some silence for one and that drew me to her and in short order, I grew to care for her which is what caused me to save her life that day.

But that came with unforeseen effects because soon as I saved her, she found out what I was. Instead of telling the family and leaving, I invited her deep into my life and in turn, my family adored her…They loved her dearly and she loved them in return.

We had quite a bit in common to the point that I truly believed that I finally, after decades of being alone, had found my mate…The one that I would give all of my eternity to but then I noticed that things were different.

While I loved her, I didn't really have a desire to be with her all the time and as Carlisle explained, when you find your mate, you couldn't bear to separate from them because it felt as if your soul was being torn apart.

Another thing was that they would each change to complement their mate better whether a full overhaul or subtle changes but nothing changed between us.

The only thing that was consistent with us being mates was that we would be fiercely protective of them and I was fiercely protective of Bella, to the point of being over-controlling, to my now shame.

But, I figured that with her being human and me being a vampire that some of the instincts and "rules" that mates have wouldn't be fully there until she changed so I ignored them and just continued on in bliss.

But then James and his Coven appeared and that was when my eyes were truly opened.

Despite all that we tried to do, James found her in the end and tortured her. Broke countless bones in her body and tried to change her.

But when that happened, something in me changed…

Carlisle told us that when a vampire finds its mate as a human, the way the vampire finds out is when the blood of our mate had been spilled.

Whether through an accident or life or death situation, we would go into a frenzy to defend them and/or change them if necessary.

I didn't.

Of course, I was furious at what occurred but I didn't exactly go into the frenzy that Jasper had when he saw what had happened to her.

Even Emmett and Alice's anger didn't compare to the absolute savage nature that Jasper attacked and tore him apart.

That should have been my first clue now looking back at it.

And instead of changing her, I instead sucked the venom from her wound to keep her from changing, therefore keeping her alive.

During the time in the hospital where she was recovering, I started to truly think about the two of us in the long term.

As she lay unconscious, I realized that I cared for her enough to protect her and help her in any way but I didn't love her as she did me.

But how could this be?

I loved her, did I not?

I wanted to spend eternity with her…Right?

It was then I realized that her blood didn't call out to me anymore...It was just normal.

I went to Carlisle and asked him if this was possible and it was then I learned that when your singer is changed or bitten by another vampire, their blood had been tainted, and in turn, that caused their blood to stop "Singing" for me.

Was that the reason for my sudden change?

It couldn't have been…But at the same time, I couldn't deny it.

The minute he had put his venom within her and I pulled it out, my feelings had changed…Was our entire relationship due to her being my singer and the peace her mind gave me?

As the next few months passed, I then began to realize that exactly what I feared was true but what could I do at that point?

She loved me and my family and they loved her in return but not only that, she started to fall deeper in love with me.

She wanted to give me all of her many times but each time I pulled away…I felt so guilty and hideous with myself for dragging it out but I couldn't take her innocence away while I knew I wasn't her mate.

And yet…I couldn't break her heart because I cared about her and didn't want to hurt her…Not only that, I bought her into this life that is truly dangerous, and what kind of person could I be to leave her on the radar like this?

I needed a way out…

"Maybe…This was your plan all along Edward…Maybe, you realized that we weren't worth it some time ago and decided with Jasper attacking that this was the perfect chance to break things off…"

Her words replayed in my head as I packed my belongings in a suitcase, a bitter smile plastered on my face.

She was spot on with her words…

I had gotten to the point before her birthday that I was reaching the end. What made me care about Bella was slowly making me dislike her and I didn't want it to get to that point but…when she cut herself at her birthday and Jasper's eyes started to turn, I realized that this could be the out I need.

But at the same time, I did not want anything to happen so I threw her to keep her away from him and that was when he charged but Emmett, Carlisle, and Rosalie held him back but they didn't hear the words that floated in his mind.

But I did...

'PROTECT HER!'

'MY MATE!'

'NEED HER!'

But Jasper was so far gone in his instincts that I doubt even he knew what was going on. I then heard it.

Through the insanity running through his mind, her gentle voice pierced through it all.

'It's ok…'

At the time, jealousy filled me as I heard this gentle, almost angelic tone flow into his head, and then I watched her touch her face with her bloody hand, this look of pure adoration on her face.

Something I had never seen when she was with me.

She looked as if she was in total peace as her love-struck eyes gazed into his and for a moment, I could have sworn that they were leaning in to kiss but he had gone so lax from being near her that the others were able to throw him out the wall on the other side of the house.

And just like that, I realized two things…

One…Jasper and Alice were not mates….And two, not only was Bella not my mate, But she was Jasper's!

Anger had filled my being but that was when I realized it.

I had my way out!

My mind was quick to work at a plan to get not only myself but my family out of her life to keep her safe. I knew this would tear her and my family apart but I had to fix the mistake that I had created.

But Jasper…He decided that he was to leave to keep them and myself here for her…I fought against this but in the end, he replayed the visions of his past into his head, which forced me to see the images of his dark past.

I had promised him that I would stay…And as much as I didn't want to stay, I agreed…Because honestly, he had given me an out but at the same time, I was still angry.

Bella was my girlfriend and yet I, the one who bought her into this life, was not her mate but Jasper?!

I spent decades all alone while he was with Alice and despite me looking for a way out, I did think she was my mate once upon a time. It just didn't seem fair that Jasper could just jump from one woman to another.

And that anger only increased when I went to school the following day.

And despite the fact that they had never spoken before, they seemed awfully close to one another as they said goodbye.

It sickened me with envy as I watched Bella weep for the one that could have killed her and it made me furious when I saw him place that kiss upon her forehead, so much so that it fueled my desires to keep them further apart.

It was as if I was watching Esme and Carlisle separating or Rosalie and Emmett…It was then that I had stupidly decided that I should spite Jasper and really continue my relationship with Bella because that would have made things better.

I would trap her into a relationship and drag it out further and hope that neither of them would find out because of jealousy.

I even had a plan in action but after Jasper left, I didn't hear anything from Bella for a week…That was until I overheard Esme talking to Charlie on the phone about Bella being completely heartbroken.

I then followed her to Bella's home while keeping a good amount of distance and then followed them to Carlisle's workplace and that was when I waited in front of Esme's car.

I had practiced throughout that entire week my entire spiel to her how I watched her and Jasper say goodbye and how hurt I was and even imply cheating to make her feel guilty before forgiving her and continuing this farce of a relationship and I even played that up as well until I asked myself…

Why am I so mad?

I wasn't in love with Bella and Jasper wasn't mated to Alice…They had unknowingly found mates within each other and now he was gone because he didn't want her to be destroyed by us leaving and in turn breaking her.

Was I so selfish that I would trap Bella in a doomed relationship just to keep Jasper away from her, all because of my jealousy that he was mated to the one I wanted to love?

Am I truly that despicable to hurt them both with my deception?

They didn't deserve that…They didn't deserve me trying to play that game and keep them further apart, all because I didn't have what I wanted.

So I decided then and there that I would break up with her, not because it was an easy out anymore but because she would get a chance to be with her true mate without me interfering and I would be completely honest with her from here on out because that was what she deserved…

What they both deserved…

I had broken her heart and she had some choice words for me but something she said had stuck with me.

"If you wanted to break up with me, there are so many easy ways you could have done it but you went about it in such an immature and pathetic way!"

Everything that I had done was immature…From not ending it when I realized that I didn't love her…To feeling possessive once I realized she and Jasper were mates before admitting my first plan in breaking up with her.

I was such an immature child.

Had I been upfront with her about all of this earlier, perhaps she wouldn't have been in this situation. I should have been honest with her. I would have hurt her, yes, but she would've recovered much better than she will now.

But there was something else that she said that got to me…

"Well, when you tell a girl that you were going to invite her over under the pretense of something fun only to lead her out into the forest and leave her after breaking her heart and then trying to convince the family which she loves and they love her in return to leave her alone…Broken in the forest at night…That doesn't sound like the love you preach!"

Every word that she said to me had struck me deep inside of my heart because she is right.

I talked a big game about how partners were to be treated the same and to be equal but I never treated her as an equal at all.

In hindsight, I was very controlling and manipulative to her in an effort to keep her safe but in reality, I was trying to fit someone that wasn't my mate into this mold of perfection that didn't exist.

No one is perfect and this incident taught me that I wasn't either.

It was time for me to stop acting like an immature seventeen-year-old and start acting like what I truly was.

And all it took was some harsh words from the woman I used to love.

I laughed to myself as I placed the final piece of clothing into my suitcase and said "That's all of it…"

Bella was right…I've been selfish, immature, and downright a prick to her and Jasper and it's time that I grew up.

Not just in the ways of loving someone but to grow up as an individual as well and if leaving Forks was going to help me grow up then by god, I will take this chance to do it.

Besides…I was tired of going to school every year.

I grabbed the two suitcases and leaped out of my bedroom window and landed on the ground with a swift thud and made my way to the front of the house to where my car sat.

After tossing my suitcases into the backseat, I got into the front seat, revved up my engine, and said to the large house, "I'll be home again soon…It's time I finally grow up…"

Rain: And that is where I will end the chapter. The reason I gave this Edward chapter was because I don't want this to follow the same trend of "Alice and Edward are the bad guys" that I see in many fics and I hope you guys enjoyed walking down the road of Edward.

The next chapter will be a Bella/Alice/Jasper chapter so I hope you guys enjoy that as well! So until then…

Mario: See you next time!