NEW YORK...AGAIN

Sabertooth, Blob, and Toad are walking down a lonely road. Wolverine is pushing Xavier's wheel chair.

Toad: I can't believe how long we've been walking.

Blob: My feet are starting to blister.

Toad: Mine too. Wanna see?

Blob: No... OO

Wolverine: This is stupid. We can't walk all the way to San Diego!

Charles: Well, we could have went to a car dealership back in Boston, but that would have meant passing through the police. We've already caused enough trouble in Gotham.

Wolverine: I guess you're right.

Sabertooth: But we still need a car!

Wolverine: Look, there's a bar just up ahead. Why don't we stop by and grab a few drinks. Maybe they'll be another motel nearby.

Blob: I never want to go into another motel as long as I live!

A few minutes later, the group is settled in the bar, drinks in hand. Toad, with keen eye, notices a bulletine hung by their table. It reads:

Talent Contest

Winners will receive$500 and a new car!

Toad: Well that's painfully convenient! We could win that easily!

Charles: But how? Remember, we can't use our mutant powers. People might be offended.

Sabertooth: Wait! I've got a plan!

A ray of light comes down on Sabertooth. Chorale music starts playing in the background.

Charles: What is it, Sabertooth?

Sabertooth whispers his idea into Xavier's eye.

Charles: That's just brilliant enough to work!

Five minutes later, Charles, Wolverine, Sabertooth, Blob, and Toad are in the men's room. The reader can hear their voices from outside the rest room.

Wolverine: I want to be the biker!

Sabertooth: No! You're the Indian! I'm the biker! It was my idea afterall!

Toad: I feel a little naked in these chaps!

Blob: Toad! You're supposed to wear pants with those!

Toad: Oops...

Wolverine: Kid, are you trying to burn my eyes out!

Toad: Sorry...

Blob: Geez, I hope I can fit into this!

From behind the door, you can hear Blob collapse to the floor. Sabertooth lets out a loud screeeeeeeeeech!

Sabertooth: You clumsy oaf!

Wolverine: Hey Charles, you look kinda good in that hat!

Charles: Thank you, but your headdress is a little crooked.

Wolverine: It is? Oh yeah! Thanks.

Charles: Are we ready?

Sabertooth: I think so.

Charles: All right, everyone. Do your best!

Wolverine: And remember, if any of you mess up, I'll hunt you down and make you wish you'd never been born.

Everyone: OO

Sabertooth: Right, lets get out there and knock them dead!

Everyone: Yeah!

Announcer: Okay, everyone! Lets give it up for our next contestants! Wolverine, Sabertooth, Charles, Toad, and Blob!

The audience cheers. Wolverine, Sabertooth, Charles, Toad, and Blob burst through the bathroom door dressed up as The Village People. Wolverine is dressed as an Indian, Sabertooth as a biker, Charles as a construction worker, Toad as a cowboy, and Blob as a cop. The audience cheers louder. YMCA starts to play as the team runs up onto the stage.

Everyone: Young man!

Blob: There's no need to feel down! I said--

Everyone: Young man!

Toad: Pick yourself off the ground! I said--

Everyone: Young man!

Sabertooth: 'Cause you're in a new town--

Everyone: There's no need to be unhappy!

Toad sings to the audience. There's a group of girls screaming in the front row who are trying to tear off his clothing.

Toad: Young man, there's a place you can go. I said, young man, when you're short on your dough you can stay there, and I'm sure you will find--

Everyone: Many ways to have a good time!

Wolverine: It's fun to stay at the--

Everybody begins to do the YMCA signals with their arms.

Everybody: Y-M-C-A! It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A!

Charles: They have everything for young men to enjoy. You can hang out with all the boys!

Song fades into a montage. The audience gives them a standing obation at the end of the song.

Announcer: From the sound of the applause I think I know who the winners are! Wolverine, Sabertooth, Charles, Toad, and Blob, come up here and claim your prize!

The group runs up the stage. Wolverine grabs the mic to make an acceptance speech.

Wolverine: Thank you, everyone! We are so glad to have performed for you all!

Sabertooth leans over Wolverine and speaks into the mic.

Sabertooth: We couldn't have done it without you!

Charles takes the mic from Wolverine.

Charles: But we must get going. We are to attend a convention all the way in California and we must get there as soon as possible.

Toad leans into the mic.

Toad: So thank you--

Blob: AND GOODNIGHT!

The audience cheers as Sabertooth, Wolverine, Charles, Toad, and Blob leave New York in their new red Studebaker.