A/N: This isn't the funniest of chapters, but I've had a lot of stress at school lately (we just got back last Monday), and it's kind of hindering my ability to write humorous fanfics. I also have a bad headache, I'm somewhat sick, and I have a horrible cold (which doesn't have to do anything with me being sick), that and I'm just about to go to bed.

Sorry if I've made this a ranting author's note... I try to avoid it (unlike in Randumbness... (shudders)) as much as I can in this fanfic... But, since I was running late on my update schedule I decided I'd just sit down and write things all day. This is what my brain conceived:

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Chapter Nine : The Aftermath of Jobs

I mentioned in Chapter Seven that other members of the cast of SC had jobs, correct? Why, yes. I do believe I did.

ANYWAY, besides the ones listed (including Necrid's realty job), it turns out that every other cast member also has a job of some sort. I feel so silly for not knowing!

(This will be in 'Aftermath' format.)

Astaroth's job, however embarrassing it was, was to be the Jolly Green Giant from all those cans of beans you see. Now, they take a picture of Astaroth with an olive-branch on his head and a leaf toga and alter it SO MUCH until he looks like the Jolly Green Giant we all know and get freaked out by because he is just so jolly! Or maybe you love him, but what do I know?

Aeon Calcos Lizardman, after being in Soul Calibur, decided to take up a job as a waiter at a Red Lobster. He gets paid a little less than he does at Namco, but he doesn't care. Mainly because he's a lizardman. An Aeon Calcos Lizardman, who just wants to help himself! (weeps for Aeon Calcos Lizardman) ...Okay. I'm done.

Evil Lizardman could be seen in The Chronicles of Narnia. But you have to look closely or you'll miss him. He's also starred in several Geico commercials when the regular gecko is sick. His superiors say that he has talent.

Kilik, shortly after finishing SCIII, signed a contract with a nameless company. Said nameless company is, incidentally, actually named Nameless Company. Funny, because I thought it was nameless.

Xianghua, as you know, once had a job at a MacDonald's. She was fired for scaring small children with her constant shouts of 'just kidding', after which she went into a deep depression. One day she randomly gained the energy and enthusiasm to work again and then got a job at a Burger King. She is currently Employee of the Month for the sixth time in one year because of her good work ethic.

Maxi didn't really have a job, per se, but it got him money. You see, him being a pirate and all (or, at least, like he once was, thanks to a certain person coughKilikcough), he doesn't need a job. But since his crew was killed like, a long time ago, he decided that he needed a new one. So he hired several people, and now they sail the Seven Seas looting every boat they come across.

Hwang served a short time in prison for taking too many sick days and such from the military. So after that, he wasn't able to serve in it again for some reason. He went on vacation for a few days before going back to the Seung Dojo for a while and searched the help-wanted ads in the newspapers for a time before finally finding an opening at the local police department. He quickly rose through the ranks and became a S.W.A.T. officer. Yay Hwang!

Yunsung did stuff until he got bored. Then he decided to protest boots on the stand that they were 'uncomfortably large'. His protests didn't go on long before they were entirely ignored and he gave that up quicker than he gave boots up (that taking several years and all). He now sponsers sandals and looks like some sort of warped form of Tidus from Final Fantasy X.

Seung Mina still lives with her father and, although she doesn't admit it, is a total daddy's girl. Even though she is such, she has a part-time job as an employee at a Bargain Wall. She promotes the store's cheap prices and the fact that it is a fifty-foot wall of bargains, bargains, bargains! She appears in many commercials for said wall of bargains.

You know what Nightmare does. He spins! (chuckles heartilly) But besides that, he works at Bargain Wall as a check-out clerk.

You also know what Ivy does. I should HOPE you would, as it was talked about like, not even two chapters ago.

Seigfried, after the constant jokes of 'WHERE'S ROY?', decided to kill the Seigfried who started this horrible, horrible pun with his stage shows. He hired a specially-trained ninja assassin to take him out, and, unexpectedly, the ninja was mauled by a white tiger. Incidentally, this tiger happened to be the wife of the one who mauled Roy.

Tira, who had many skills what with being not ONLY an assassin, but ALSO a ballerina, decided to go on tour with the Russian Ballet for a few months before they decided that she wasn't just a ballerina but a crazy ballerina and left her in a restaurant while they all jumped into their big bus and drove off. She then signed a contract with a car dealership in southern Arkansas and goes by the alias of "Miss Arkansas", and appears on many, many billboards on the side of the road.

Setsuka signed a contract with a modelling agency. She didn't get very far before people spread very nasty and mean rumors about her, and then she retired. She lives a peaceful life in the Bahamas as we speak.

Zasalamel didn't really do anything for like, five months before he was hired by Satan to replace Death who had a broken leg. He enjoys his job and works for ninety-nine souls an hour.

Mitsurugi went on to work part-time as a janitor at some stadium somewhere. He quickly grew tired of this (even though he was making more than your average garden-variety janitor), and decided to, once again, become a mercenary. He is the most wanted man in France for killing some important person or other.

Raphael (as the author almost forgot) was an extra in several vampire movies. He had a quiet life in France, but was killed by Mitsurugi and, apparently, several people objected to this on the 'fact' that he was hot. And, um... he really isn't. But he came back to life since he now had the POWAH of Soul Edge in him and whatnot, that crazy, crazy Frenchmen.

Talim works at a MacDonald's as a french-fryer. She has been Employee of the Month for two months because of her good attitude. Nobody protests to this, but mysterious graffiti (usually something like, "MacDonald's is for chumps!") appears every month on the outside walls...

Rock made it big as a model for furs in Norway. He enjoys the simple pleasures in life like Ivy and lives with his adopted son Bangoo in the cold north. Luckily, all of his furs keep them warm during winter.

Cassandra became a cook at a local restaurant (despite protests from her family and their own BAKERY that they had), and got said restaurant to rank up there in the top ten of the world's greatest restaurants. 'Restaurants' was used a lot in that last sentence.

Sophitia finally started acting like a mother of two but decided to quit because then the fans would hate her for being so. Or not, it really depends on who we're talking about. But then she realized that she needed a job and did something or other because, in all honesty, the author cannot think of anything for her to do besides beinga mom.

Voldo went into the theater business as an opera singer. He did surprisingly well for somebody who only communicates through obscure hisses and grunts. He's reported to go on to be a dancer in a few weeks.

Taki continued being a ninja and eventually found herself being hounded by the animators of some ninja show to be in said show of ninjas. She goes under the alias 'Kurenai' and plays a minor role. However, she makes a fair amount of money.

Necrid, after pursuing a career in realty, died. You just read it, you should know.

Anybody who the author probably forgot did something productive.

THE END.