SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE OF KANSAS
Wolverine still has the wheel. Toad is still looking out the window, bored as ever.
Toad: I spy...with my little eye...something that is yellow...
Sabertooth: Hm... Sarcastically. Could it be corn?
Toad: Yep...
Blob: It's about the only thing any of us can see.
Sabertooth: I'm starting to understand why Magneto didn't want to take this trip.
Toad: I'm sure whatever The Master's doing right now is probably more important...and far more boring...than what we have to put up with...
The camera cuts back to Magneto's lair. Mystique and Pyro are holding two ends of a jumprope. Magneto is jumping in the middle. They're all giggling madly as this is going on.
Mystique and Pyro: Chanting. Fudge! Fudge! Call the judge! Magneto's having a baby. His boyfriend's going crazy. How many babies will he have! 1..2..3...4...5...6--
Sabertooth, Toad, and Blob let out a loud sigh, trying to imagine what strenuous work Magneto might be up to.
Wolverine: Hey, why are you all complaining? You guys get to sleep. I stay up all night driving this car!
Upon passing dozens of rows of corn stalks, Toad notices a man covered in hay and tied to a stick. He has dark brown hair and is wearing dark red sunglasses.
Toad: Woah! Hold on a sec!
Wolverine notices the odd-looking scarecrow and stops the car. Wolverine rolls down the window.
Wolverine: Hey, you look familiar! Don't I know you from somewhere!
Scarecrow: I don't believe we've ever met, sir. But I sure do wish I had a brain.
Toad: There should be a twister coming soon. Sarcastic. We'll be nice and leave you there so it will take you up to see the wizard!
Scarecrow: Gee! That's mighty nice of you. Thanks!
Wolverine drives off.
Sabertooth: What do you make of that?
Wolverine: I'd say I have a good story to tell to Mr. I-Wear-My-Sunglasses-At-Night!
Toad: Maybe then, I could say hi to Ms. Slim Practice! Referring to Jean Grey.
Wolverine: What did you just say!
Toad: Nothing. Only that your love interest is an easy target!
Wolverine gets an idea.
Wolverine: You know, those nachos I ate last night have left me pretty gassy. I hope I don't--Pffffft! Uh-oh! Pffffffft! Whoopsie me!
Toad, Blob, and Sabertooth try to roll down their windows, only to realize Wolverine has put them on lock. They are now banging on the windows, desperate to get them open.
Toad: Let us out! We're suffocating!
Sabertooth: Oh my God, this is torture!
Blob: This has to be worse than your claws!
They begin screaming over and over again. Wolverine and Charles laugh all the while.
IN UTAH, DRAWING CLOSE TO NEVADA
The groups new red Studebaker is driving down a gigantic highway with Wolverine at the wheel. Charles Xavier sighs as the wind blows passed him.
Xavier: Oh if I had hair on my head...
Sabertooth: To Wolverine. So where are we heading now?
Wolverine: To a wonderful suite in the middle of Las Vegas, Nevada!
A huge smile stretches across Toad's face.
Toad: Show Girls...
Blob: Food...
Sabertooth: Poker...
Wolverine: Motorcycles...
Xavier: Squirrels...
Everyone stares at Charles: OO
Xavier: Since we were on the topic of things we like...
One of the tires of the car pops. The car swirves out of control.
Sabertooth: Oh no!
Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!
The car tilts to one side, Toad's on the low end of the car and Blob on the higher. Blob tilts with the car into Toad's direction.
Toad: SAVE ME!
Blob rolls onto Toad's side, squishing Toad against the window. The car comes to a brief stop. Everybody is breathing heavilly.
Charles: Is everyone all right?
Sabertooth: I'm fine.
Wolverine: I'm fine.
Blob: I'm fine.
Toad: No, Michael Vale! It is not time to make the doughnuts! Falls over.
Wolverine goes outside and checks the car.
Wolverine: Here's our problem! One of our tires blew out!
Blob: But, luckily, there's a gas station on the other side of the highway that's sure to have plenty of new tires:)
Charles: But we best be quick. Rush hour's coming soon!
Blob: Now, who could we send on such a dangerous mission?
Sabertooth: He has to be fast.
Charles: He must be agile.
Wolverine: And he should be able to escape trouble in a single bound...
Toad notices everyone has big grins on their faces.
Toad: Hey, why are you all smiling at me like that? Their smiles get bigger and Toad finally realizes why. AAAAHHH, DANGGIT!
All the cars are whizzing passed the group. Toad gulps.
Toad: I don't know if I can do this, guys...
Charles: Don't worry. We've got your back! Right guys!
Blob, Wolverine, and Sabertooth have big smiles on their faces as they hold up their Nintendo remote controls.
Toad looks at the highway again. He starts quivering.
Wolverine: Come on, bub! Don't be a pansy!
Blob: Do it for the Show Girls, Toad!
Toad: Breathing deeply. Show Girls...Right...
Toad leaps off the sidewalk and into the danger. Everyone cheers.
The highway now turns into an airial view, much like the game Frogger. Toad gets on the second row of the highway when Blob starts taking control.
Sabertooth: To Blob. Make him go down! There's a car coming!
Blob directs Toad a row down, just missing a red Toyota.
Wolverine: Okay, now up... Blob moves Toad up. Up... Blob moves Toad up a second time.
Sabertooth: TRUCK!
Wolverine: Go left!
Blob directs to right.
Wolverine: Your other left, stupid!
Blob: Hey! Don't call me stupid!
Charles: Please! We have a life at stake!
Blob: Quiet, baldy!
Charles: Frustrated. This is no time for arguments! We have to get Toad off the highway before--The truck makes load beeping sounds as it speeds towards Toad.
Toad: ACK!
The truck hits him up into the air.
Toad: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! Toad's screams fade as he is lifted higher and higher into the air.
Sabertooth rolls his eyes.
Sabertooth: To Blob. NOW look what you did!
Blob: Me! If metal claws over here didn't give me such a hard time--
Wolverine: Well excuse me if you don't know your lefts from your rights!
Toad's screams can be heard again. They become louder and louder each second.
Blob: I was doing a good job! Maybe if you were a little more patient with me, I could have--
Toad: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Toad crash lands into the gas station. The roof collapses from underneath him. Everyone is silenced. After a few moments, Toad finally emerges from the rubble, terribly banged up. He makes an attempted smile as he holds up a brand new tire. Everybody cheers. Toad tries to make a 'thumbs up' sign but falls over.
Charles: Good job, Toad! Now all you have to do is bring it back over here!
Toad: Ugh...