Chapter Eleven : The Worst Nightmare
We know what everybody does by the light of day (i.e., fight, cook, fight, be high on life, fight, kill, fight, maul, fight, etc...), but how do they act... at night? Well, I don't know about most people, but our favorite trio from Jirisan probably have horrible, horrible nights together in that dojo, along with Mina's poppee.
But what do I know? I'm just a biased teenager who doesn't like things for no reason.
Anyway...
It was about seven o' clock in the evening at the Seung Dojo, and everybody was getting ready for bed or some such thing.
"I don't need sleep," snapped Yunsung, drinking a cup of coffee.
"I don't think that's a good--" started Hwang, but Mina slapped him.
"Quiet you! He needs to do this so he can learn a lesson," said Seung Mina matter-of-factly, putting her hands on her hips.
Hwang gave her an incredulous look, still in shock over being slapped. "How will he learn anything if we don't punish him?"
"I... Erm, well, I hadn't thought about that," admitted Mina, looking at the ground. "But I can assure you that it's for his and our well-being that he does this."
"You know he's gonna be up all night," said Hwang, crossing his arms over his chest. "Remember what happened last time?"
"So he snuck out and destroyed an entire civilization in under three hours!" laughed Seung Mina. "What are the chances of that happening again?"
"He sunk Atlantis, Mina. ATLANTIS," Hwang said for emphesis. "They had all kinds of secret theories of eternal life, and they owned the Fountain of Youth. And Yunsung killed them all."
"Well I guess they didn't have very good theories of eternal life, then, did they?"
"That's not my point! My point is, Yunsung's crazy when he has too much caffiene, and who knows what could happen if he's set loose upon the world? Crazy stuff, that's what. He's going to end up killing some figure of power or something like that. It's been done."
Mina looked thoughtful, as Yunsung downed his fifth cup of coffee in the last five minutes. "Hmm... You could be right... But Yunsung's harmless! Look at him!" She pulled him over by the arm and made a puppy-dog-ish face while Yunsung's eyes darted around and he shook uncontrollably. "He's adorable! He couldn't harm a fly!"
"Pishaw, haven't you seen him whack one of those things with a newspaper?" Hwang asked, looking stern. "Now--" He slapped the coffee from Yunsung's hands. "--Both of you go to bed. I don't want to hear you up past ten."
"My coffee!" gasped Yunsung, diving for the mug before it shattered against the ground. He caught it just in time, but at an angle so that the coffee was still in motion even though the mug was not. Coffee splashed onto the floor. "NOOOOOOOO!"
"But Hwang..." whined Seung Mina, pouting.
"Bed!" replied Hwang, pointing off down the hall.
Mina shuffled off. Yunsung, meanwhile, was mourning his coffee.
qpqpqp
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It was a beautiful, sunny afternoon in Jirisan, where many, many people had gathered for a glorious wedding.
Seung Mina walked down the red carpet, clad in white satin and silk, arm-in-arm with Han Myong. 'Here Comes the Bride' played on a nearby pipe organ.
At the alter was Astaroth, dressed in a preacher's jacket, holding the bible in one large hand, his axe in the other. Already standing by the golem was Hwang, in a full tuxedo.
As Mina approached the alter, the music faded. She held up her boquet of roses, smiling widely.
Astaroth opened the book. "DO YOU, HWANG SUNG KYUNG, TAKE SEUNG MINA TO BE YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED WIFE?" asked the golem in a deep rumble.
"I do," said Hwang.
"AND DO YOU, SEUNG MINA, TAKE HWANG SUNG KYUNG TO BE YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED HUSBAND?"
"I do," said Mina, on the verge of tears of joy.
"YOU MAY--"
"We're out of nachos!" Maxi called from the refreshment table where he and the other two Musketeers were eating all the food.
"Nobody cares!" shouted some random family member of Mina's.
"YOU MAY NOW KISS THE BRIDE," said Astaroth.
Just as they were moving in for the kiss...
Mina woke up in a cold sweat.
"Ah! What a nightmare," she muttered, rubbing her eyes. A few minutes later, she drifted back to sleep.
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"Happy birthday, Hwang!" said Yunsung, Mina, and Han Myong in unison, sitting at a table with Hwang, a large birthday cake in the middle.
"Wow, what a great year that's been, huh?" said Seung Mina a little too enthusiastically.
"Indeed," Yunsung agreed.
"Too bad Hwang," clucked Han Myong. "You're what, thirty? You're... OVER THE HILL."
"Wha...?" said Hwang, confused.
Suddenly, their eyes glowed red and they grew fangs.
"Oh, goodness!" The man stood up and backed away from them.
"Old..." they hissed. "Old..."
"No! No, I'm not old! Han Myong's old, I'm not! NOOOOO!"
Hwang woke up, looking scared out of his mind. "I'm not old... no... no..."
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Yunsung and a mug of coffee skipped through a flower-covered field in slow-motion, some famous up-beat love song playing in the background.
Reunited and it feels so good...
Reunited 'cause you understood...
There's one perfect fit
And sugar this one is it
We both are so excited
'Cause we're reunited, hey hey...
"Oh, coffee!" said Yunsung, hugging the coffee mug as everything returned to normal speed. "I missed you so much!"
"And I you, Yunsung," said the coffee mug in a somewhat feminine voice. "But listen, I have something I need to tell you..."
"What about, my caffinated carnation?"
"...it's about... YOUR MOM."
"GASP!" gasped Yunsung, reeling away from the mug. "No! Anything but that!"
"Your mom's so fat, she takes an eighteen-wheeler to get to work in the morning!"
"AAAAAH!"
"Your mom's so ugly, Satan got openings for fifty guys--including your pa--in the last two minutes!"
"Stop it! Stop it, you cruel mug!" shouted Yunsung, trying to throttle it, but to no avail. Because there's no throttling something that has a circumferance of a giant can of beef.
"And you know what else? ...Yo mama!" cackled the mug, turning into Yunsung's unknown mother.
He screamed in horror, waking up.
His eyes darted around the room, and he sighed. "That's the last time I have coffee before going to bed..."
The next morning...
"Well, I couldn't sleep," Yunsung sighed. "What about you?"
"Oh, I slept fine after the first two dreams about me marrying Hwang," said Mina cheerfully, eating a spoonful of cereal.
"Oh, that's good because... WHAT?" asked Yunsung.
"What? It was a total nightmare," admitted Mina. "First I had a western wedding and then I had an Eskimo wedding. It was terribly frightful. I almost wet myself the second time just thinking about it."
"Goodness!"
"Yeah."
Hwang suddenly walked into the room, looking tired. "I had the worst dream last night... You were there, and you were there, and your dad was there... and you all... you all called me..." His eyes narrowed. "Old..."
The other two stared at him.
"Well, you are getting a little... eh, in the thirties, what? Yeah, I wouldn't call that old," said Mina, returning to her cereal.
"Yeah, you're not old," chuckled Yunsung.
"Anyone want any coffee?" asked Hwang.
"NO!" shouted Yunsung, standing up.
Hwang stared at him.
"Erm... I mean, no thanks." He sat back down.
"Riiight..."
THE END.