A few moments later, many of the Wolverine look-alikes are carried away in ambulances. Three fans dressed as Nelson from the Simpsons follow the van as it drives away with the Wolverine nerds.
Nelsons: Ha-ha!
Toad and Blob are standing before Charles with their heads hung low. Sabertooth and Wolverine are on each side of Xavier with their arms crossed.
Charles: Scolding. Now what do you two have to say for yourselves?
Toad and Blob: We're sorry...
Charles: Sorry's not going to heal those fifteen Wolverine clones you mercilessly clobbered for your amusements. Their yellow spandex and tinfoil claws stood no chance against your mutant powers!
Toad: With those cheesy outfits like the ones they had, those nerds were beggin' for a beating!
Charles: No excuses!
Blob and Toad hang their heads lower.
Charles: Now I want you two to stand in that corner and think about what you did!
Blob and Toad are about to walk away, dragging their feet when they see a man in a nice blue suit and briefcase run towards the group.
Man: Gee wiz! I've been looking everywhere for you guys!
Toad and Blob follow the man back.
Wolverine: And just who are you?
Man: Oh, oh! Forgive me! I almost forgot to introduce myself. He holds out his hand for a handshake. Wolverine stares at it and then to the man. The man laughs nervously as he puts his hand down again. Howard J. WhoopHasse, owner of the upcoming energy drink: WhoopHasse Extreme. I'd like you and your friends to star in my commercials.
Wolverine: And what if we don't?
Howard: Holding up a ton of money. Well, I don't think Ben and his friends would be too happy about that...If you catch my drift.
Everyone stares at the money and they nod their heads rapidly in agreement.
Everyone: Deal!
A few minutes later...
Announcer: A brand new drink is sweeping the nation and it's coming to a conveniant store near you. WhoopHasse Extreme! It's the energy drink all the best superheros are drinking! But how does the amazing Wolverine open up a can of WhoopHasse! Lets find out!
Wolverine is standing in the middle of a kitchen holding out the drink. He slashes through the can with his claws, making the contents of the drink squirt everywhere. He makes the thumbs-up sign.
Wolverine: WHOOPHASSE!
Now back to the fanfic...
Blob and Toad are standing next to each other in a random corner. Toad is leaning his forehead against the wall. He lets his arms dangle below him.
Blob: What are you doing?
Toad: Counting the chippings on the wall. Carrying a grudge. Can't believe the old man sent us to time-out.
Blob: Only five more minutes to go...
Toad sighs.
Announcer: While those five minutes pass, we may aswell give you another WhoopHasse commercial! A brand new drink is sweeping the nation and it's coming to a conveniant store near you. WhoopHasse Extreme! It's the energy drink all the best superheros...AND supervillains are drinking! But how does a formidable opponent such as Magneto open up a can of WhoopHasse! Lets find out!
Magneto is sitting in a small kitchen next to a can of WhoopHasse Extreme. Just then, Magneto lifts up the can with his magnetic powers. As the WhoopHasse Extreme lifts higher and higher into the sky, he sends a huge train right into the can, creating a giant explosion. Magneto smiles at the camera and makes the thumbs-up signal.
Magneto: WHOOPHASSE!
We now return you to the fanfic...
Charles Xavier is playing on a big metal Dance Dance Revolution on his wheelchair. Despite the bulky wheelchair, somehow, Charles has gotten the top score. Everybody is cheering him on.
Charles: Yes! I am the Lord of the Dance! Raise the roof! Raise the roof!
Charles does the 'Raise the Roof' dance. Magneto is overjoyed as he lifts the entire DDR machine into the air. He lifts it gently up and down, synchronizing the machine with the movement of Charles' arms.
Charles: Whoo-hoo!
Magneto lifts the machine back down again. Charles is still laughing as he wheels himself over to Magneto.
Charles: We have so much fun when we're together! I don't understand why we can't be on the same team.
Magneto: But you don't understand Charles. You see...
Pyro, Mystique, and Gambit jump out of nowhere and begin stomping their feet. The jet appears behind them.
Magneto: In tune of Hollaback Girl.
Uh-huh! This my jet! Foes jealous of it? You bet!
Few times I've been thrown to the ground,
Since the human race always brings me down,
But I ain't gonna take their crap, Charles,
I ain't gonna take their crap, Charles!
Few times I've been thrown to the ground,
Since the human race always brings me down,
But I ain't gonna take their crap, Charles,
I ain't gonna take their crap, Charles!
Pyro, Mystique, and Gambit begin to sway in the background.
Pyro, Mystique, and Gambit: OoooooOoooo!
Magneto: This my jet! This my jet!
Pyro, Mystique, and Gambit: OoooooOoooo!
Toad appears out of nowhere, munching on a banana.
Magneto: This Toad eats bananas! B-a-n-a-n-a-s!
Toad: Huh! oO;
Pyro, Mystique, and Gambit: This Toad eats bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!
Toad: Who writes this stuff!
All of a sudden, Renoir Fione crashes through the roof. There is silence. Everyone stares at her, dumbfounded.
Renoir: Um...Um...Look! Hue Heffner! O.O;
Everyone gasps with delight and turn their head to look while Renoir Fione runs away. Magneto is the first to turn back.
Magneto: Drat! They always get away:(
Mysterious Voice: Don't be down, Magna! I know what'll make you happy!
The PBJ Time Banana appears.
Everyone: Horrified. NO!
PBJ Banana: It's peanut butter jelly time! (x3) Now where y'at (x3) Now there y'go! (x3) Peanut butter jelly (x3)
Blob appears next to the Banana. He is confused.
PBJ Banana: Do the Peanut butter jelly! Peanut butter jelly! Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat! Do the peanut butter jelly! Peanut butter jelly! Peanut butter jelly with a baseball--
Blob takes a gigantic piece out of the Banana.
PBJ Banana: In agony. OH MY GOD! WHAT DID YOU DO TO M--
Blob takes another gigantic bite.
PBJ Banana: NO! WAIT STOP!
Blob takes another.
PBJ Banana: AAAAAAAAHHHHH!
And another...
PBJ Banana: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
And...
Blob: WHOMP!
Everybody applauds. Blob bows.
Announcer: Um...Yeah...That was just about the most disturbing thing I've ever witnessed. I wish I'd never seen what I just saw...Anyway! A brand new drink is sweeping the nation and it's coming to a conveniant store near you. WhoopHasse Extreme! It's the energy drink all the best superheros, supervillains, AND evil henchmen are drinking! But how does a lard-butt such as The Blob open up a can of WhoopHasse! Lets find out!
Blob is sitting alone in the kitchen with the WhoopHasse Extreme. The blob lifts up his shirt and grabs a great piece of his own fat. He aims his flab directly over the can and...SLAM! His fat squashes the can, making all the liquid contents fiz over. Blob looks at the camera with a big smile and gives the thumbs-up signal.
Blob: WhoopHasse!
Toad: I don't know...As insane as I am, this is starting to get...too insane.
Blob: Hey, it's a convention! Anything goes, right?
Toad: Still...
Blob: Don't worry. We're going home soon anyway. Then we can go back to kicking some X-Men tail!
Toad: Smirking. Sounds like a plan!
Toad sees Jean Grey and Scott Summers walking towards them.
Toad: Well look who's here... Talking to Jean. I seeyou've got a little of my mucus still in your hair...
Jean Grey: Annoyed. Thank you...I didn't even notice... She picks a little bit of green out of her hair.
Scott: Annoyed aswell.Have you seen the Professor?
Toad: Not for a while.
Blob: I think he's with Eric...
Scott: Thanks...
Toad: Hey! You guys didn't stop in Kansas at any point in the trip, did ya?
Scott: Yeah. Why do you ask?
Toad shifts his eyes in the other direction.
Toad: Oh...No reason...
Jean and Scott begin to walk away, thinking Blob and Toad were done with them.
Toad:Calling. Hey, One-Eye, did The Wizard give you that brain you've been wanting so badly!
Scott stops dead in his tracks. He is blushing furiously. He begins to walk on again. Blob and Toad burst out laughing.
See you in the next chapter!
Renoir Fione