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I'm so happy over all the wonderful reviews I've recived. Thank you so very very very much :) I also want to give one big hug to Joey51 for helping me with this chapter. Thank you so much girl. You rock!!!!
Merry X-mas Ryan Atwood - Chapter 4
From the first moment Ryan set his foot in school, he knew it was a bad idea.
If he hadn't been so stubborn and instead listened to both Kirsten and Seth, then maybe he wouldn't feel as rotten as he did right now. His stomach was churning constantly and he was alternating between the chills and sweating, which he knew, from previous experience, came from a fever. After the third period, the one before the lunch break, Ryan felt ready to call it quits. By then his stomach pretty much ached the entire time and now it wasn't a question of if he was going to be sick, but more a question of when it would happen.
He had stopped listening to his social science teacher, Mr. Crown's, lecture a long time ago. Since it was the day before the Christmas break, he was mostly going through the assignments they had over the holiday and Ryan was just listening half-heartedly. The words sounded so far away and the buzzing noise made him feel sleepy, causing him to nod off and wake up all the time. The other students kept glaring in his direction, yet he couldn't care less, not as long as his teacher wasn't on his case, anyway.
He'd been debating on and off inside his head, whether or not he should tell Seth that he felt too sick to go through with the night. Part of him wanted to drop the bomb, while the other part wanted to pretend that nothing would get to him, which was as far from the truth as anyone could get. Somehow, he thought that the way he was feeling now was just going to be a pre-notion of what was to come. And it wouldn't be pretty.
Last night's adventures were starting to do him in and he felt his eyelids getting heavier and heavier. Just when he was starting to nod off again, a booming voice called for his attention, making him jump what felt like 10 feet off his chair.
"Ryan Atwood!"
"Yes." Ryan sat up straighter in his seat.
"I thought I've made myself clear that I don't tolerate any sleeping in my class." Mr Crown stared hard at Ryan.
"Um...sorry." He shifted nervously in his seat. The last thing he needed was to get a detention slip for the Cohens to sign.
"What's your excuse for sleeping in my class?"
Swallowing hard, Ryan searched for something to say and he was going to tell his teacher that he'd studied all night, when a loud ringing noise cut through the school.
Saved by the bell.
Letting out a sigh of relief, Ryan didn't waste any time in scrambling his books into the backpack, and as he moved to stand, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning around, he was met with his teacher's displeased expression.
"Atwood, I would like to have a word with you."
Ryan flinched. "Oh no," he groaned inwardly. "Please don't do this. Not now." Forcing out a weak, "Yes?" he hoped that his teacher would sense his condition and he would let him off the hook. The searing pain in the middle of his gut was getting to him, and Ryan leaned forward a bit - since it hurt too much standing up straight - while he waited for the scolding to begin. To his surprise, he found his teacher scribbling something on a piece of paper and handing it to him.
"Here you go. Take this pass and then go down to the nurse's office."
Surprised that Mr. Crown didn't cut his head off, Ryan mumbled, "Uh? Sorry?"
"I said, here is the pass; now go to see the nurse," Mr. Crown repeated once more.
Ryan blinked rapidly. Swallowing hard, he did his best to concentrate on his teacher's words. Why wasn't Mr. Crown yelling at him? It made no sense. Mr Crown was known for being a hard-ass teacher and his almost-friendly words startled Ryan, as well as worried him. When he was in Chino, the only time someone was really nice to him was when there were something serious going on. Like that time he'd come to school with his left eye smashed in and he'd told his teacher that it was because he'd run into a wall. Or that other time when he'd broken his arm and he said it was because he'd fallen off his bike. It had all been nothing but a lie and both times it was one of his mom's boyfriends who'd caused it all. The bottom line was that his teachers had been nice to him, as if they'd suspected that there was something seriously off with him, the very same way as Mr Crown was acting now.
"Usually I don't tolerate people falling asleep in my class, but looking at you, I can see that you're not up to par, and therefore, I'm willing to make an exception."
Ryan knew that he must have looked like hell for his teacher to say something like that. "I've got an exam after lunch." It hurt to talk and he had to do everything to stifle the groan he could feel in the back of his throat. That and the nausea.
"You do what you have to do, Atwood." His teacher sighed. "Just remember that this is a one-time thing and if I find you sleeping during my lesson one more time, I won't make an exception again." His voice held a hint of warning.
Nodding, Ryan accepted the pass. If there was one thing he'd learned in his life, it was when to talk and when to be silent. Suddenly, he felt as if he had to get out of the room as quickly as possibly or there would be devastating consequences.
He needed peace and privacy, and he needed it now.
Mumbling a short, "Thanks," Ryan walked quickly out off the room, feeling his teacher's eyes on his back. With a fast pace, he set his steps toward the restroom. Hopefully he would be able to get a moment on his own; if he was lucky, the nausea would pass without turning his stomach inside out.
Suddenly, he heard Seth's voice calling out for him behind his back.
"Ryan! Hey, Ryan, wait up!"
Normally, Ryan would've answered, but today, when all he needed was to be on his own, he ignored Seth and instead, quickened his steps. The last thing he wanted was to have to play the role of casual listener, being submitted to Seth's endless speeches about everything and nothing.
Seth somehow still managed to sideline him. "Hey, man. Didn't you hear me call for you?" He panted heavily. "I've been looking all over the place for you." Before Ryan had a chance to open his mouth, Seth spat, "°Where have you been dude? I thought we said that we would wait for each by my locker." He didn't look too pleased.
Shifting uncomfortably, Ryan mumbled, "Sorry. I got held up in class by the teacher."
Seth's eyes widened. "Oh, what happened?"
Seeing Seth's reaction, Ryan couldn't help but smile a little. If he hadn't felt so shitty, he would have told a 'white lie' about how he'd done something that Seth would classify as the act of a 'bad boy,' but instead, he just shrugged, "Nothing much." Wanting to divert the attention, he went on, "So how was class for you?"
"It was okay. You know how much I love history." Seth made a gagging sound, "Thank God that this was the last history class befire the break. " He paused. "Anyway, I was thinking about tonight and then thought that we could watch all kinds of movies: comic ones, that is, and then we can discuss them and...."
"Discuss them? Seth, it's just you and me and...."Ryan didn't have a chance to finish his sentence before he got cut off.
"That was what I was thinking too¡and that's why I invited Zach to come along."
"Zach?" Ryan frowned. "You mean Zach, as in Summer's boyfriend?"
"Yeah, yeah, that's the one." Seth sounded annoyed but his tone became more excited as he went on, "Anyway, since I want to show what a good guy I can be, I decided to attempt to bury the hatchet, and when I mentioned what we're doing tonight, he got really excited and then he suggested a few movies that we could watch and I felt like I had to ask him if he wanted to hang out too." Seth suddenly stopped, looking at Ryan, "That's ok with you too, right?"
Ryan, who was distracted by the mission of holding onto his stomach's contents, was barely listening. "Uhu," he mumbled. "That's fine by me." Deep inside, however, he was desperately wishing Seth would cancel the evening's plans. Ryan was pretty sure he wouldn't be good company, anyway. Especially if he felt as bad as he felt right now.
"You sure?" Seth gave him a doubtful look.
"Mmm." Motioning with his thumb toward the restrooms Ryan went on, " Just gotta go...you know..." Blushing slightly, he desperately hoped that Seth wouldn't follow him. His urge to get some privacy was pressing more and more, and the last thing he wanted was to have Seth hovering in the restroom. "I'll catch up you guys later in the cafeteria, ok?"
Seth looked strangely at him and for a moment Ryan feared that he would ask questions about his health but then his brother nodded, " Okay, see ya then..." With that he turned the corner and Ryan slipped inside the restroom.
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It was the beginning of the exam when Ryan started to feel absolutely miserable.
His stomach, which he'd done everything to keep in check, churned viciously and whatever had been bothering him all day was desperately searching for an escape route. After the short bathroom break following his conversation with Seth, Ryan had managed to compose himself enough to allow him to sit through lunch. However, he hadn't been able to eat much and everything he put inside his mouth, including the 7up, made him want to gag. The pain in his stomach, which could easily have contributed to hunger pains due to his lack of recent food consumption, made him want to move as little as possible and the nausea that was constantly hiding in the back of his throat didn't help the situation either.
Ryan did his best to do continue with the exam even though he felt like he could hurl any minute. Cold sweat had broken out on his forehead and his mouth was alternating between those dry and salty feelings which told him that he better not prolong his visit to the bathroom for much longer. Swallowing several times, Ryan did his best to force the nausea away, his goal was to at least finish most of the exam and leave the classroom without attracting too much attention.
The regulations prohibited him from leaving and returning to the room during the exam and this left him with only two options: either he had to fight the sickness and do his best to hold it a bay until he could finish, or he would have to leave the class without completing all the sections and, therefore, risk failing the class. Both options were equally bad, and frankly, Ryan didn't think that he could easily live with either of them.
Another shot of pain made him aware that his stomach was still very much active and held control of his decisions. Leaning forward in his seat, Ryan did his best to comfort his aching stomach by holding his arm tight on his abdomen. Sitting up made him feel even worse and even though it hurt to move, there was restlessness in his body that made it hard to sit still. Closing his eyes, he tried to muster up his strength to go through with the task, only to notice that the questions and figures were dancing on the paper in front of him. That made him feel even more dizzy and nauseous than before and if it continued, he was sure that he wouldn't be able to hold out much longer.
The flu had really come to bite him in his ass.
Less than ten minutes later, Ryan felt like he'd reached his limit. He had to get out of the room, or else he was certain that he would make a fool out of himself by blowing a gastric display all over his desk. And that was certainly something he felt he could spare his classmates; and his pride.
When he was sure he couldn't last another minute, he stood up to get his backpack and tried to make it out of the room without creating a stir, The chair, which had been forcefully shoved backward, suddenly wavered on two legs and then fell backward onto the stone floor. The fall created a noise that Ryan was sure could have been heard across the entire school. To his dismay, he noticed that every student's head turned in his direction and he tried his hardest to act like it didn't bother him when, in reality, he was squirming from all the sudden attention. With fast steps, he walked up to the teacher and without a word, placed the almost-blank paper on her desk.
Mrs. Grant, who was in her late forties, looked up at Ryan with a surprised expression on her face. "Everything all right?" she asked only to get a quick nod in response. Never in his life had Ryan felt such a desperate urge to bolt. He wanted to tell his teacher the reason for his hasty retreat, and that he hadn't skipped the test on purpose, but a pressing sensation in his upper stomach told him that there was no time for conversation. Besides, he didn't dare open his mouth in fear that something other than words would come out. If there was one thing Ryan had never been too fond of, it was attention. He didn't like it when eyes were turned on him. As uncomfortable as he felt now, he was sure it was going to get much worse if he didn't get out of the room soon.
When Mrs. Grant handed him the list to sign out, Ryan felt another bout of dizziness hit him hard. In a blur, with shaky hands, he managed to scribble down his signature before bolting out of the room when his stomach suddenly heaved.
Once outside the classroom, Ryan ran like he was trying out for a position on the track team. Slapping a hand over his mouth, he threw the door open to the restroom and prayed that all the stalls wouldn't be occupied. For once, the Atwood luck didn't hold him back and he managed to get his head over the bowl before his gut started turning itself inside out. The puking was so violent that it felt like he would tear something from inside his stomach. And every time another heave wracked his body, the pain kicked up a notch.
Cold sweat ran down his back, causing his skin to stick to his shirt, and when the bout finally was over, Ryan felt too weak to stand. Flushing the toilet, he prayed that that was it - that whatever had been bothering had finally found its way out. However, minutes later when his stomach revolted again, he got the feeling that this was not the end, but merely the beginning...
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When he felt safe enough to leave the restroom, Ryan walked slowly down the corridor to his locker so he could get his jacket. To his relief, he noticed that the hall was pretty much empty, and he hurried as fast as he could so no one would see him in his weary state. Another reason for his hasty retreat was that he wanted to get home as soon as possible so he could be close to his own facilities when his stomach decided to give him another wake up call.
There was no need to stay at school anymore; he had already flunked the test, and as far as he knew, he wouldn't be allowed back in the classroom either. Not that he wanted to go back in there. To Ryan, the only thing he could think about right now was crawling into a warm bed and sleeping the rest of the day away.
Just as he closed his locker, he felt someone put two hands over his eyes. Normally, this would have sparked his curiosity, but today it only served to make him to feel even dizzier than before.
"Guess who?" a female voice said, one he recognized very well. Turning around, he was met by Lindsay, who was smiling broadly. "Hey, handsome," she said, running her hand up his torso. "How did your calculus exam go?"
It would have been so easy to say that he got sick and couldn't finish the test, yet then Ryan would have to admit weakness, something that he really sucked at, so instead, he found himself saying, "It went rather well. Actually, I think I nailed it." His voice shook heavily despite his attempts to steady himself. However, it didn't appear as though Lindsay noticed. Instead, her eyes lit up,
"There you go. I knew you could do it."She gave him a hug that wouldn't have been so bad if it didn't feel like she was trying to squash his innards.
"Yeah," he pushed her aside as gently as he could, hoping that he didn't smell after his ordeal. It would surely destroy the moment and there would be questions that he didn't care to answer right now.
"You okay?" She frowned deeply, her forehead creasing as she looked him over.
"Mmmm. Why wouldn't I be?" Ryan blinked, trying to act as casual as he could.
Lindsay shrugged. "You look a little pale, that's all."
"Maybe I need to spend more time in the California sun," Ryan joked weakly, relieved that she hadn't pushed the health issue any further.
"That doesn't sound like such a bad idea."Lindsay smiled at him. "You want to go for a walk on the beach?"
Ryan gulped. "Now?"
"Yes, why not? It's Christmas break and everything. You know, we could stroll down the pier, go down to the Crab Shack and eat an ice-cream. It would really make it feel like the holidays."
"Eh...Huh." Any other day but today, Ryan would have thought it was a great idea. Thinking hard he did his best to come up with an excuse, when an brilliant idea shot through his brain. "I'm...uh...I'm sorry, but I can't." He smiled apologetically. "I've promised Kirsten to help her with the Christmas tree."
"Oh." There was disappointment in Lindsay's eyes.
Feeling bad that he was letting her down, Ryan mumbled, "I've promised, but if you want, we could meet afterwards." He could have bit his tongue off after that comment since he knew that he was in no shape or form to do something like that. Still, there was the driving urge to make everybody happy, even if that meant he had to sacrifice his own comfort.
Lindsay watched him carefully before she said, "No, I don't think so. You told me at lunch that you and Seth - and now Zach, apparently - were going to have Comic night and I don't want to disturb that."
"You won't disturb," Ryan said quickly. "And, you know, you can always come to the pool house before Comic night." He did his best to sound like that was what he really wanted but she saw through him. He felt as shallow as those water polo players Seth despised so much.
"Nah, that's all right." Ryan could see that she did her best to act like it didn't bother her. "I'll be there tomorrow anyway, on Chrismukkah."
"Okay." Ryan felt like an ass. Here he was standing with his girlfriend and he couldn't come up with anything else to say or do but nod. The look she gave him made him think that maybe she thought that he didn't want to spend time with her, causing him to make up excuses all the time. The truth was that his stomach was absolutely killing him and the nausea he thought he'd kicked was back again,with a vengeance.
"So what time do you want me to come then?" Lindsay asked after an extended silence.
"What?" Ryan couldn't help but wince. Standing up was getting harder and harder and he really needed a breath of fresh air or he feared he would pass out.
"I asked you what time you want me to come to your place?" Lindsay's smile had faded and he could see the annoyance in her eyes. "Ryan?"
"Oh, that." He jerked. "Eh...Ummm...I don't know...fi...five sound okay with you?" Ryan was taking the time out of the blue.
"Five?" Lindsay frowned. "I thought Kirsten said three but then maybe she changed her mind."
It felt like cold sweat was pouring from his pores again. Wiping a hand over his forehead, Ryan mumbled, "Kirsten said five?" Lindsay looked at him with a strange expression. "Ok then, it's five, no, I mean three..." He was having a hard time thinking straight.
"You okay?" Lindsay suddenly asked, her hand on his arm, blue eyes looking at him with concern.
"Um..yeah." That was nothing but a lie.
"You sure? You look like you're about to pass out."
"I do?" Ryan made a face.
"Yes," Lindsay nodded."
"Just feel a bit dizzy. It's a bit hot in here." Ryan bowed his head, hoping it would clear the cobwebs that were clouding his brain, making it feel like mush.
"Maybe you should go outside? Some fresh air might do you good.
"'kay." As if he was walking in slow motion, Ryan felt his legs leading him toward the entrance, Lindsay walking beside him. Once outside, he took several breaths and slowly he felt the dizziness go away and his strength return.
"You still feel dizzy?" Lindsay asked once they were outside. "You were white as a ghost there for a while."
"Nah, I'm good." Ryan sat down slowly on the stairs. "I think I might have overdone it when I studied for that last exam. I was up all night."
"Maybe you did." She sat down beside him. "So you think you feel better now then? You're ready to go home?"
Ryan nodded, not willing to open his mouth since the nausea was still there, threatening to attack.
"You want me to drive you?" Lindsay asked after a beat.
Thinking for a moment, Ryan remembered what Kirsten had said earlier in the morning; he just had to make a call and they would come and get him if he felt worse. But that meant that he had to disturb them and it was better to say yes to Lindsay. After all, she was his girlfriend.
"Okay, if that isn't too much hassle for you."
"No hassle." Lindsay smiled. "Besides, if you want and if you feel better, I can come down to the pool house with you for a while. I have nothing to do this afternoon anyway and if you want, we can go through our next physics assignment or...." "Or we could make-out," Ryan cut in with a sarcastic chuckle. He was doing his best to reassure her that he was feeling fine again, since the worst thing he knew was having to be dependent on others.
" Yes we could," Lindsay blushed. As if suddenly reminded of something, she added, "But didn't you say that you had to help Kirsten out?"
Ryan groaned,'Shit' He'd completely forgotten all about his promises to Kirsten. "Um...yeah, but I think I'll have time for that too."
"Okay then," Lindsay stood up hastily. "Let's get going then." She grabbed Ryan by his arm.
Relieved that Lindsay had actually suggested going home, Ryan followed her towards the car. Frankly, he had no idea if he could keep up this charade any longer, and he was infuriated with himself for leading Lindsay on and inviting her home with him, but at least he was going home - the rest he could deal with later. For now all he wanted was to lay down on his own bed, trying to get some rest before the bathroom would be calling his name again. In other words, there wasn't much time to waste.