It was the ride from hell!
Ryan had done his best to focus on something else beside the movement of the car but his constantly churning stomach made this tactic nearly impossible. His gut was doing flip flops it felt as if he was the lead actor in some bad hip hop movie. The ache, combined with the cars sweltering heat, made him want to curl up into a ball or better; jump out before he made a mess of himself. Yet he did his best to hold on and keep a calm face for Lindsay, all so she wouldn't have to worry about him.
This was the same charade he'd practiced many times in his life. He pretended that everything was just fine and dandy, wether it was physical or emotional, when in reality what was bothering him was tearing his mind apart. Today however it wasn't as much mental as it was physical.
His life didn't suck all that bad after he moved back to Newport. Even though he never thought it would happen he'd actually started to like the people of Newport outside of the Cohens. Still, there was something that didn't make him feel completely comfortable and that prevented him from showing his aches and pains. Maybe that was why he was keeping how bad he was feeling inside - for Lindsay. To spare her any worry she might have for him.
Leaning his hot forehead against the window he did his best to get some air from the small crack above the window. It was so stuffy and his stomach was giving him a bad time. The cars movements were making him sick and he was swallowing constantly in an attempt not to redecorate the upholstery. He didn't think that Lindsay would be too happy with him if something like that happend, beside the thought of having to endure the embarressment made him hold on for dear life.
"You okay Ryan?" Suddenly Lindsay's voice startled him and jerked him back from his own thoughts.
"Huh? What?" Noticing her concerned eyes he said with a fake smile, "Yeah it's just that it's a bit stuffy in here. That's all." He ended his sentence abruptly when she gave him a disappointed look.
"It's not that what is bothering you Ryan Atwood." Her tone was firm. "It's something else and it upsets me that you won't tell me what it is. Your own girlfriend." Her hawk eyes were peering into his, he had to look away before they burnt a hole into him.
"I've told you that it is nothing. It's just a bit hot in here." To state his point he rolled down the car window. "All I need is some fresh air."
"Yeah I know." She mumbled appologetically. "The airsystem isn't working and I haven't had the chance to fix it yet. Besides it would cost a fortune and mom doesn't think that its worth repairing this car since its just a piece of junk." She went on and on about the car and Ryan listened with only half an ear. His only answers were "Huh?" or sometimes an "Uh huh" that seemed to be enough for Lindsay to keep the conversation going. He didn't feel very talkative and he was afraid that if he opened his mouth something else beside words would come out - it was best to stall as long as possible.
The rest of the ride passed in silence which was rather unusual for Lindsay but Ryan didn't waste anytime thinking about it, he was much too busy trying too keep his stomach in check. The ride couldn't end one minute too soon and the second Lindsay turned up the driveway he felt his stomach go beserk. Swallowing hard Ryan did everything to try to keep his posture up and he could feel cold sweat dotting on his forehead. Closing his eyes briefly he did his best to gather new strength when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Ryan, we're here. Are you not going to get out?" Lindsay's voice was so soft that it felt like cotton, the way his ears were ringing he thought for a moment that he'd passed out. The look on his girlfriends face told him otherwise. "If you're that tired I think you should go to bed. I know you asked me to come in with you but you look as you need to go to bed instead. Besides we will see each other tomorrow ,we've got to see each other on Christmas Eve." With a smile she did her best not to act disappointed but Ryan could see in her eyes that she wanted to spend more time with him.
The problem was just that he felt so drained that he had a hard time holding up all of a sudden. He wished he hadn't invited her in to start with but he'd felt a bit obligated when she had sounded so down when they couldn't spend the evening together due to Seths night in. 'Crap,'he thought miserable. 'Why did I have to do that? I feel like shit and there is not a chance that I can take any company right now and now I'm letting her down too.' Ryan thought about his options before once again trying to keep his posture up. "I'm not that tired, besides spending time with you always makes me feel better." A pale smile cracked on his face even though he was certain that it came off more like a grimace."
"Yeah right." She chuckled even if the smile didn't reach her eyes. "You look like a zombie and even if I was suppose to come in with you I doubt that you would be up for any kind of conversation."
Normally Ryan would've objected but today he felt so tired that he had a hard time holding his eyes open, besides his stomach was cramping and he feared that if he prolonged this a bit longer it would have a devestating effect.
"Maybe you're right." He swallowed hard. "I'll see ya tomorrow then."
Bile rose in his throat and he didn't want to waste anymore time. Quickly, without turning around he hurried towards the house, he felt Lindsay's eyes on the back of his neck the whole way. Fumbling with his hand in his jeanspocket, he searched for the keys desperately trying not to throw up on the front stairs.
To his relief Ryan found that the door was already open and with shaky hands he pressed the handle down only to bolt inside seconds later. He took off running down the hallway like his pants were on fire, when he came to the nearest bathroom he threw himself infront of the bowl emptying out his guts. This was another violent spell and he closed his eyes so he didn't have to see the mess he created below. His stomach ached, and he wrapped his hands around his middle in an effort to sooth the pain.
Ryan had no idea how long he'd been sitting there in front of the bowl when he heard Kirstens voice outside. "Seth, honey. Is that you?" There was a soft knock on the door.
Swallowing hard Ryan did his best to muster up his strength. Moving to stand slowly he said as clear as he could. "No. It's me. Ryan." He was doing everything in his power to act casual but it was hard with his stomach churning threatingly all the time.
"Ryan?" Kirsten asked with surprise. "Is everything alright?"
At that moment his body decied to give another heave and he coughed hard in an attempt to keep the food down. This had Kirsten even more worried and Ryan could see the door handle jiggle slowly. "Sweetie? You okay?"
"I'm fine.
"You sure?" Kirsten didn't sound too certain but at least the grip on the doorhandle loosened.
"Yeah. I'll be right out in a sec." Ryan held his breath while he waited for his foster mom to back off.
"Oh okay if you say so. I'll be in the kitchen then." To his relief he heard her move away and once she had gone he sank back down on the floor infront of the bowl. The stomach ache was even worse than before and all he wanted was some relief from the pain. The bile was burning in his espaoghous and he leaned over to empty his insides once again. After that bout was over Ryan felt confident enough to leave the bathroom.
Flushing the toilet he stood up on shaky legs and then leaned against the washbasin, his stomach hurt from all the heaving and it hurt to straighten up. Looking up in the mirror Ryan saw a pale reflection staring back at him and he winced at the picture. It sure wasn't a pretty sight - he didn't exactly look like a poster boy. Not that he considered himself a poster boy but he knew that if he went outside looking like this Kirsten would instantly wonder what was going on. He did his best to fix up his appearance by washing his face with water and then pinching his white cheeks so there would be some colour in them, his eyes were glossy and filled with pain.
Even though all Ryan wanted to do was to lay down on the floor and crawl up into a ball he forced himself to act as if nothing bothered him. Opening the door he readied himself to meet the Kirsten.
Kirsten was sitting in the kitchen nursing a cup of coffee when he entered the room. "Hi." His tone was a bit shaky and she looked up at him instantly. He could see by the deep wrinkles in her forehead that she was concerned.
"Everything alright? You look a bit pale!" Kirsten put her hand up in a gesture to feel his forehead when he shrugged quickly away and went to sit across from her at the table.
"It's nothing, just a bit tired."
Kirsten frowned. "You sure that's all that is?"
Her hawk eyes looked at him. "I was in the kitchen when I heard someone come running in and I thought it was Seth."
She left the sentence there as if Ryan would fill in the blanks.
"Eh...Uh I...I had to use the ba...bathroom," he stuttered while blushing with embarressment. "Sorry."
"Oh, you don't have to be sorry for that." Kirsten smiled. "We've all been in that predicament at times." Her eyes were still searching him as she talked and he wasn't too certain that she had bought his lame excuse but to his relief she dropped the subject."
"I guess," Ryan mumbled looking down at the table.
"Did they let you off early because of Christmas vacation?" Kirsten asked and Ryan could tell that she was trying to find a reason for him to be sitting here in the kitchen when he wasn't due home for two more hours.
"I had calculus exam."
"Oh yeah," Kirsten smiled. "I almost forget about that. So how did the exam go then?" She took another sip of her coffee.
"Okay." It was getting hot and stuffy in the room and his stomach ached so bad - he wanted to lie down.
"Just okay or really great?"
"Okay." Ryan repeated once again. Saying that it went really well, like he'd told Lindsay earlier on, wouldn't cut it since the teacher would probably call home to Cohens and tell them that he had handed in an almost blank paper. Probably that he was in the danger of flunking class too.
Right now none of that mattered since all he wanted was to stretch out so the stomach ache that he'd been harbouring all day had a chance to go away. Hopefully before the evening or before Kirsten would find out that something was really wrong with him. Knowing her it was just a question of when instead of if.
They had a brief conversation or more likely Kirsten talked and Ryan answered mostly with monosyllabels. Suddenly the door bell rang and his foster mom hurried to open the door. Ryan, happy to get a pause, saw his chance to get out off the situation and be able to go down to the poolhouse for some well needed rest. Just when he had moved over to the glass doors Kirsten called out for him from the drive way.
"Ryan? Ryan, I need your help."
Upon hearing this the teen quickly changed his mind and ran as fast as the pain in his stomach would allow him outside, only to see Kirsten standing by a large Christmas tree that had someone been placed on their drive way. She tried to lift up the pine tree and judging by her face it was one heavy tree. Noticing this Ryan hurried over to her.
"No Kirsten. Let me help you with that." Bending down he bit his lip to stop from crying out in pain. His fostermom, being much too busy, failed to notice the face Ryan made.
"I can't believe the drivers. They just left the tree on the drive way and when I asked if they could carry it inside they told me that they had too many trees to be delievered today and then they left." She snorted with disgust. "I'll never buy a Christmas tree from that company again."
"Let's get this beast inside," Ryan said as he hoisted the tree up, ignoring the pain that it caused in his stomach and then he and Kirsten practically dragged the tree inside the house. He was carrying the foot while she took the top and there was more than once time when Ryan feared that he didn't have the strength to carry the tree and would drop it on the spot.
Once the tree was in the house they were met by Seth coming in through the door.
"Mom. Ryan. What are you doing?"
"Cutting grass, " Ryan spat annoyed over the stupid question. What did it look like they were doing? Sometimes Seth could be so stupid.
"Ryan is helping me to carry in the Christmas tree," Kirsten explained ignoring the remark her foster son had snapped. "Seth help him. This tree is heavy."
Ryan watched as his brother swiftly ignored his moms comment and instead sat down on the couch. "Ryan buddy you have no idea how many great magazines I've found. Zach has also got some really great videos that we can watch." Seths eyes were gleaming with happiness. "Oh this is going to be the best night before Christmas Eve. Ever." His eyes fell on Ryan who was doing his best to put down the tree with the aid of Kirsten. "Right dude?"
"Uh? What?" Ryan mumbled suddenly feeling totally drained.
"I said that this will be a total awesome evening, don't you agree?" Seths eyes were searching his and he could've swore that it was as if his friend suspected that something was not right.
"Yeah...Um..Sure, it'll be great." Ryan breathed out with relief when the tree was finally on its spot and he was allowed to sit down and relax. His side hurt badly now and he found it hard to walk straight which led him into limping on his way to the couch. This didn't go unnoticed from Kirsten.
"Ryan, is everything all right? You're limping!"
"I am?" Ryan asked confused only to change his sentence. "I mean yes I am. I must have pulled a muscle or something when I had sports today."
"You didn't have P.E today," Seth filled in with disbelief.
"Sure I did." Ryan felt annoyed.
"No you didn't. Dude you had the final exam instead." Seth frowned at him, and the look he gave him was one of confusion. This annoyed Ryan even more.
"Well maybe it was yesterday then." He wasn't about to reveal how shitty he felt. Not now when he knew that so many things depended on him. Seth opened his mouth to say that there were no sports yesterday either when Ryan threw him a glare.
"Honey, you need to have someone look at it if it doesn't get better." Kirsten went over to him and was going to put her hands on his side when Ryan backed away.
"I told you it's just a pulled muscle. Now if its okay with you I'm going to get a few hours of rest since I didn't get much sleep last night."
Neither Kirsten nor Seth had anything to object and with that Ryan hurried over to the poolhouse. Once he was inside he let out a breath that he hadn't even been aware that he'd been holding. Throwing himself face down on the bed he hoped that the stomach ache that was tormenting him would lessen if he stretched out but to his surprise he found that it was even worse in that position. This made Ryan roll to his side, pulling his legs up to his stomach and to his relief this position gave him a little comfort and soon he was able to close his eyes and then fell into a well needed sleep. When Ryan woke up a few hours later he found that he wasn't alone in the room. The sweet smell of Kirstens perfume saturated the room and Ryan had to swallow hard or he would fear he would throw up. Normally that scent didn't bother him but today it was making him really nauseous.
"Hi honey," Kirsten said softly as she sat down beside him. "How are you feeling?"
Confused over being asked that question Ryan did his best to sit up straight only to feel the pain in his stomach worsen. He groaned silently. "I'm okay."
"Ryan, your teacher called and asked what happend. Apparently you didn't finish your calculus exam and handed in the paper almost blank. Mrs Grant talked with your teacher, Mr. Cartwright's really concerned he thought calculus was one of your best subjects. He called us to find out what was wrong since you never missed an exam before. When you came home early and you were so quiet, quieter than you use to be." Kirsten smiled, "I put two and two together, and when you went to bed I figured out that something was wrong. So Ryan how are you really feeling?"
"Better." He smiled paley. "I'll guess that I was mostly tired.This nap helped." The cat was already out of the bag so he dared to tell her that he wasn't one hundred percent, besides she wouldn't be too concerned for something as little as that.
"Good". Kirsten mumbled, putting her cool hand on his forehead. "You still look a bit pale...and you feel a bit warm too." Taking her hand away she frowned, "Are you sure that feeling tired is the only thing?" "Mmmm." Ryan did his best to nod without disturbing his already thumping headache. "I guess I didn't sleep much last night and that made me flunk my calculus too." He didn't dare to explain anything more since his stomach was in the process of doing sommersaults again and it made him swallow. Hard.
"You didn't fail calculus." Kirstens tone was firm but gentle.
Ryan looked up. "Huh?"
"I told Mr. Cartwright that you hadn't been feeling well this morning I think he took that as an excuse and you'll be able to do the test later on when you're feeling better." She looked at him. "Beacuse that was why you had to leave the class room wasn't? Mrs Grant said that you left the study hall in a hurry."
Ryan blushed. "Um...I had to use the bathroom I guess. We're not allowed back in after we've left the study hall so I had to hand it in almost blank." He hoped that she wouldn't ask him anything more on that but judging by the concern in her blue eyes his hope was in vain.
"So Ryan, is it your stomach that's giving you trouble then?" Kirsten was really in the mom mode now.
Ryan bit his lip. It would've been so easy to tell her how bad he really felt and that it felt like he was coming on with the flu. After all Kirsten had already started to figure out about that he wasn't feeling very well, but then he remembered the charity event and knowing Kirsten she would have canceled her part if she'd known how shitty he really felt. Not to mention how he would let Seth down too and that was something he wanted to avoid at all costs. It felt so embarressing talking about his body functions, especially with Kirsten but he knew that she wouldn't drop the subject until he had answered that question.
"A little. I think it might be nerves."
"Could be." Kirsten smiled gently at him. "Hold on, I'll go and see if I can find some pepto bismol for you to take." He didn't have the chance to object before she was out of the pool house. Meanwhile Ryan was fighting the pain that surged through his body. He didn't feel much better than before he'd fell asleep and now it was even worse. Closing his eyes Ryan willed the pain to stay put when he heard someone open the door again.
"Hey kid you're not getting sick on us are you?" Looking up he saw Sandy standing there, a bottle of pink fluid in his hand. "Kirsten asked me to give you this. " He sat down on the bed so it creaked and stirred up more pain from the movement. Ryan held his breath. That was how much it hurt.
"Thanks." He picked the bottle up and then opened the cap and poured it in the glass beside his bed. With a face he swallowed the liquid only to gag seconds later and prayed desperatly that it would stay down.
"Where is she anyway?" He couldn't help but feel a it disappointed that Kirsten hadn't turned up with the medicine as she promised.
"She had to leave early for the charity event."
"Oh."
At that moment Ryan spotted that Sandy was all dressed up,wearing a tuxedo and a tie. His foster dad must have sensed how uncomfortable the teen was since he went on with a grin on his lips.
"I hope it wasn't my cooking yesterday that made you feel like this." Ryan didn't have to answer since he went on, "But then Kirsten told me that you had an upset stomach this morning and that it was probably nerves before the exam so I guess I am off the hook."
Ryan nodded.
"Anyway kid," Sandy looked at him, concern in his hazelnut eyes. "Are you sure that nerves is the only thing? That it's not some kind of bug that you're not telling us about?"
This was starting to get annoying. "It's nothing. I'm fine."
"All right." Sandy didn't believe him and he didn't blame him. His fosterdad stood up, "I'm going to let you rest since we have to get going to the charity event, but if you start to feel worse. Like you have to throw up or something don't hesitate to call us and we will be at home in a jiffy."
His warm eyes sought out Ryans. "You know kid we care for you and don't want you to feel like you have to hide something. I know you think you'd be letting us down or something but I promise you you're not."
"I told you I was fine. Just a bit tired."
"And an upset stomach, yes Kirsten told me that. She also said that you were running a fever."
"I don't have a fever. I'm not sick!" God this was starting to get annoying. Ryan hated when people fussed over him, mainly because he wasn't used to this kind of treatment. When he'd been sick in the past he was usually left alone and now they were circling around him like flies to a candy. This much attention was quickly starting to get too much.
"Okay." Sandy didn't press on. "I'll leave the bottle here beside the bed and if you start to feel better Seth is in the house.Watching a video"
Ryan felt bad. "Seth knows that I'm..I'm a...a bit under the weather?"
Sandy nodded.
"And how did he take it."
"Fine for Seth." His foster dad smiled. "At first he was a bit dissappointed but then he said that he had seen that you weren't feeling right and he guessed that you weren't really up to it."
"So the Comic night is canceled then?" This was getting worse by the second. First he was almost making Kirsten and Sandy cancel the charity event and then he was letting Seth down. Talk about a shitty christmas."
"I don't know. You have to talk to him." Sandy patted Ryans hand. "I have to go and right now you need all rest that you can get so you'll feel better tomorrow for Christmas Eve. Like I said before don't hesitate to call us if you start feeling worse and I'm sure that Seth will come in and see how you're doing later on in the evening."
"'kay." Ryans stomach hurt too much for him to talk and instead he concentrated on the nausea that was doing a battle inside his body. Closing his eyes the teen did his best to will the pain away and when he felt Sandys hand on his forehead, stroking away the sweaty strands of hair, he could finally relax long enough to let the sleep overtake him.