((I don't own Avatar the Last Airbender) And if I did, Zoku and Katara would be together)

I don't want to fall asleep. For me, sleeping brings only pain. I have dreams, nightmares really, that get worse every night, so I wake up more exhausted than I was the last night. Sometimes I don't fall asleep at all. But that is better than sleeping. The dreams are worse than reality.

Once I dreamt where I captured the Avatar and his friends. When I gave them to my father, the Lord, he said I should never have come back home. He said that I should die where I stood. Then the Avatar and his friends started telling me how dishonorable I was. They said that I would always be dishonorable. Uncle Iroh didn't say a word. He stood there, looking at me so disapprovingly. When the Avatar was killed, he was killed. And no one else cared about me. Then I woke up.

I wonder if I should really be chasing the Avatar. If I joined him, I would be betraying my country. But if I don't join him, I would be betraying so many other people. Who says he would accept me, anyway. After all, I've been chasing him from day one. But that day I was the Blue Sprit, he asked if we could be friends.

I think we would have.

But that doesn't matter. It isn't one hundred years ago. It's now. And the present is what matters. The past is... always forgotten. But then again, it isn't. Only horrid things are remembered.

I remember when my mother died. She told me to care for Azula. I failed that. She told me to take care of myself. I failed that also. She told me to become the Fire Lord and stop this dreadful war. I haven't failed that yet. She told me to never stop loving the person I fall in love with. I haven't failed that either. Half of the things she wanted me to do I have failed. And I can't fix them. I hope to accomplish at least one. When—if I become the Fire Lord, I will make sure the war is stopped. I think everyone is sick of it. If I fall in love, I will never stop loving her. She may be ugly, she may want to kill me, she may stop loving me, but I will always love her. Mother, don't worry. I will accomplish those two things.

But I have probably failed you already.

I will join the Avatar, for you Mother. And there will be no going back. I really hope you are listening. I will stop this war. We will have peace again, no matter how long it takes to fix it.

Life will be the way it once was, Mother.

Don't worry.

This revolves around Zuko, and if it doesn't... I wouldn't be writing this right now! Please tell me how you liked it! I worked hard on it... well not that hard, it just came to mind so... whatever. Please review!