Thanks for your feedback. I appreciate it! The next part will be the last unless I can't stop tinkering! Hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you thought. Steph

Bless the Broken Road: Part 3/4

I ring the doorbell and wait, as I nervously shift the package from hand to hand. A moment later, Will flings the door open.

I'm disappointed it's not Sydney, but I try to hide it. "Hi, Will. I'm here to pick up Isabel."

He nods. "She'll be down in a minute. Sydney's doing her hair. Why don't you come in?"

I walk inside and he shuts the door behind me. We stand in awkward, tense silence. It feels like we're back all of those years ago, when we first met. We were both connected by one female. Now we're connected by two.

"So, have you found a place to live yet?"

I shake my head. "No, I'm staying with Weiss right now."

"What about a job? Are you going to go back to the CIA?"

I shrug, a little annoyed with the third degree. "I'm weighing my options." I pause and then look at him, "I'm actually considering going back to teaching. UCLA has an opening in the French department."

Will nods uncomfortably. We both know that's where Sydney teaches.

"Well, that sounds good. Sydney teaches there, so I'm sure she could put in a good word."

"Like I said, I haven't decided anything yet."

My eyes move to the stairs as I hear footsteps. They land on Sydney and Isabel, walking hand in hand. I smile at them and they return it. My girls. My beautiful girls.

Isabel runs toward me, her eyes wide with curiosity as she stares at the wrapped package in my hands.

"Is that for me?"

I kneel down in front of her. "Well, I bought it for a beautiful little girl with big, green eyes and the prettiest smile anyone's ever seen."

She grins, revealing a gap in her front teeth. She lost a tooth. Something inside of me sinks as I realize I'm still missing moments in her life. I'm a Weekend Dad, something I never imagined I'd ever be.

She raises her hand. "That's me! That's me!"

I smile and hand her the package. She rips into my twenty-five minute wrapping job in 2.5 seconds. She pulls the top off the box and I watch as her mouth drops open.

"Ice skates!" she screams. She then looks at me, her eyes dancing in delight, and throws her arms around my neck.

I close my eyes and revel in the feeling of my little girl's arms around me for the first time. I pull her close to me.

"Thank you," she whispers in my ear and then kisses my cheek.

I open my eyes and she pulls back. I look up at Sydney, noticing how her eyes are glassy from tears held back.

Isabel looks at me with barely contained excitement. "Are we going skating? Are you going to teach me how to skate?"

I nod. "Yeah, I thought it was about time. Then maybe we can have that hockey game sometime," I say, as my eyes meet Sydney's.

Isabel practically jumps up and down. "This is going to be so much fun!" She turns to Sydney. "Do you want to come too, Mommy?"

I look at Sydney. I can see she'd like nothing more, but she shakes her head. "I don't want to intrude. You two go and have fun together."

I lick my lips. "No, Syd, it wouldn't be an intrusion. We'd like it if you came." Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Will shift his feet and look down at the ground. "You're welcome to come, too, Will."

Will looks at Sydney, waiting for her response. She smiles. "Well, it has been ages since I was on the ice."

Probably the last time we played hockey together.

Will drops his head. It's clear he was hoping she'd refuse.

"What about you, Will?" I ask, convinced he'll tag along just to keep an eye on us.

But he shakes his head. "Nah, I can't. I've got a lot of work to do. You guys go and have fun."

Sydney looks at him and I can tell there's tension between them. She walks over and gives him a kiss on the cheek. "We'll see you later then."

She joins us at the door. "I just have to get my skates. They're in the garage."

We follow her out the door. I'm aware of Will's eyes following us as we move out of sight.

---

I watch Vaughn as he helps Isabel lace up her skates. His hands work quickly and methodically. I've always loved his hands. They're so strong.

I can't believe I'm here with Vaughn and Isabel. I imagined this scenario a million times in my mind. But it was always an impossible dream. And, now, here we are. It's like we're a real family. I feel a pang of guilt at the thought of Will. I can't help but feel like I'm betraying him in some way.

Vaughn's voice pulls me from my thoughts. "Ready?"

He stretches his hand out. I place my hand in his and he helps me up. I then take one of Isabel's hands and he takes the other. She stands up between us, her little legs wobbly. We take a few steps forward and venture out onto the ice.

"Just go slow. Stay balanced," Vaughn says to her. "Hold on to me and Mommy. We won't let you fall."

Isabel shrugs her shoulders, unconcerned. "I don't care about falling. I like scars. They make me who I am. No one else can have the same exact scar."

I look at Sydney and whisper, "She is definitely your daughter."

She smiles at me. "Oh please. You and Weiss used to compare battle scars on a weekly basis. I think you kept records."

"That was Weiss."

I smile at how easy this is, how familiar it feels.

I feel Isabel's hand slip out of mine and watch as she frees herself from Vaughn.

"I can do it on my own," she yells and skates off.

She doesn't make it more than a few yards before she falls flat on her face. I hear Vaughn's breath catch in his chest. He's by her side in a flash, before I have a chance to react. He pulls her into his arms and surveys her body for injuries. She's a brave, strong little girl, but I see her fighting back tears. Vaughn's presence seems to bring her comfort.

He looks at her chin, noticing a small cut from the ice. "You have a little cut on your chin."

"Is it going to be a scar?" she asks softly, hopefully.

He smiles. "I'm afraid not."

She blinks back tears and sighs in disappointment. "No fair. Now what I am going to show for Show-and-Tell on Monday?"

We both laugh and then I watch as Vaughn cradles her in his arms and stands up. There's something I could get used to seeing.

"Come on, let's go sit down," he says.

She starts kicking her legs. "No, I don't want to sit down! I want to keep skating!"

He doesn't raise his voice. He speaks to her softly, but authoritatively. "No, we're going to go sit down for a few minutes."

We all skate over to the bench and sit down. Isabel crosses her arms over her chest and proceeds to pout.

She then fixes him with a glare. "I thought you wanted me to be happy."

I raise my eyebrows at that. I look at Vaughn. He's just been faced with his first fatherly challenge. It's not easy the first time you have to be the bad guy. They never understand that your actions are for their own good.

He nods. "I do. I also want you to be safe."

Her face softens. "Well, I guess I understand that. That is what fathers are supposed to do."

My eyebrows peak, as I realize she referred to Vaughn as her father for the first time. It's not lost on him either, as a smile pulls at his lips.

She looks at Vaughn. "So when are we going to play that hockey game?"

Vaughn smiles. "There's no rush. We'll have plenty of time for that."

The thought fills me with hope and happiness. Vaughn and I have been given a second chance. Or maybe it's our third or fourth. But it's our second chance at having the family we dreamt of. How can I just let that pass me by?

"Mommy, can I get a snack?" Isabel asks, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Sure," I say and reach for my pocketbook.

Vaughn touches my hand. "Let me." He pulls out his wallet and hands Isabel a ten dollar bill.

"Thanks!" she then walks the few feet to the snack bar.

"Don't go any farther than the snack bar, Isabel," I say, as I watch her walk up to the counter.

I turn my head to find Vaughn staring at me. I feel my face grow red.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing," he says. He then adds softly, "I was just trying to picture what you two would have looked like together when she was a baby."

I smile and reach into my purse to pull out my wallet. I hand Vaughn a picture of me in the hospital holding Isabel. His eyes lock on our faces.

"She wasn't even an hour old yet," I say.

He doesn't remove his eyes as he speaks. "You were beautiful. Both of you."

I feel my chest tighten. That day was the happiest and hardest of my life. Not having Vaughn there tore me up inside. It wasn't until I saw our daughter's face that I realized he was still with me. He was in her.

He moves his eyes to mine. "What was she like as a baby?" he asks. He smiles sadly. "I imagined what she was like so many times that I guess I made myself believe it was reality. Can you tell me?"

I nod. "Well, she was a very happy baby. She always smiled and giggled. She was so adventurous and curious, always getting into things. She was also stubborn and persistent. When she was learning to walk, she would fall down a dozen times and just keep getting back up and trying again."

He smiles, "Sounds like someone I know."

I return his smile, but it soon fades. I swallow hard. "She was a great baby, but it didn't start out that way. When I first brought her home from the hospital, she wouldn't stop crying. I had her checked out and they said she was fine. I didn't know what to do. I was scared about being a mother as it was and to have to do it alone...without you. I just didn't think I'd make it." I pause and take a deep breath. "One night, I was so exhausted and frustrated that I couldn't stand it anymore. I got mad at you for dying...for leaving me."

I notice his eyes move to the ground. "I know it was silly. I knew you would have moved heaven and earth to stay with me. But I couldn't help it. I felt like a failure. I walked into my bedroom and opened up my jewelry box. I took out your father's watch. I thought of its meaning and the promises it once held. I thought of how it was all gone now. I looked at the hands that were now moving and it felt like a lifetime ago that you told me they had stopped when we first met. It hurt so much thinking of everything we never got to have and I was so tired and frustrated that I...I wanted to throw it on the ground and smash it to pieces." I shake my head, ashamed that the thought had ever crossed my mind. "I was holding Isabel in my arms and she was screaming her head off. Then she grew quiet and I saw her staring at the watch. It got so quiet I could hear the ticking and so could she. She reached out and took the watch in her hands. I couldn't believe it. She stopped crying."

I look at Vaughn, who's eyes are now filled with tears. "That's when I knew that you hadn't left me. You were right there, helping me through it all."

Vaughn places his hand over mine and squeezes it. I go on. "Isabel keeps that watch in her jewelry box now. She still takes it out all the time and watches the hands go around, listens to it tick. I think it gives her peace and comfort. I think it makes her feel closer to you." I look down at my hands. "I told her the story behind it. I told her you could set your heart to the watch and how it stopped the day we met." I smile and laugh. "She said a watch has nothing to do with the beating of your heart. She didn't believe me. I told her how it had been fixed and that maybe someday it would stop again...That maybe then she'd believe me."

Vaughn smiles. "I bet she still didn't buy that."

I shake my head and meet his eyes. My voice emerges softly. "She didn't have a choice. After you came back that day I went to her room to look at the watch. I wanted to feel closer to you. I wanted to remember." I pause and then add. "Vaughn, the watch had stopped ...at the exact time I laid eyes on you again."

He takes a deep breath and opens his mouth to speak, but Isabel appears at our side before any words can emerge. We both look down at Isabel.

She smiles and hands us each a pretzel. "I got something for you guys, too."

Vaughn and I smile and say, "Thank you."

Vaughn looks down at the picture he still holds in his hand. "Oh, here. I forgot I still had it in my hand." He reluctantly raises his hand up and holds it out to me.

I smile and shake my head. "It's yours. Now you don't have to imagine it anymore."

A slow smile spreads across his lips. I look at him and Isabel and think of the family we could have. I'm not sure how much longer I can do this.

---

I walk Sydney to the door. Isabel saw one of her friends at the skating rink and Sydney told her she could go over her house to play. She's going to pick her up in a few hours.

"Thanks for the ride," she says. She looks up at the darkened house. "I guess Will went out."

Our eyes meet and hold. I can feel myself being pulled towards her and I know I won't be able to stop if I let things go any further.

I take a deep breath and say softly. "I better get going."

Her eyes remain focused on mine. "Don't go," she says softly.

I shake my head. "Sydney, I don't think that's a very good idea."

She looks at me longingly, her eyes filled with pent-up desire. She walks over to the porch swing and sits down. Her eyes beg me to follow. I'm careful to sit on the other end of the swing, but she moves closer to me. She slips her hand into mine.

"Syd," I breathe.

She shuts her eyes. "Shh. Close your eyes."

My brow furrows in confusion, but I obey.

Her soft voice fills my ears. "Sometimes I come out here, all by myself. I close my eyes and I try to picture what our life would have been like. I can see it all, so vivid it's as if it's real. I see you holding Isabel as she drifts off to sleep. I see us playing hockey as a family. I see us falling asleep in front of the TV, your arms wrapped around me...making me feel so safe. I see us dancing at our daughter's wedding. I could see it all, Vaughn. I still can."

She touches my face and I open my eyes. Her eyes capture mine and I notice how her lips are tantalizingly close.

"I never thought that those things could be anything more than a dream," she whispers. "But here you are."

I swallow hard. "Sydney, I don't know what you want me to say."

"Don't say anything," she says. She then brings her mouth close to my ear and says, "We'll find each other. We always find each other." Her lips then brush against my cheek.

Then she's gone, as if she were nothing but a figment of my imagination. Her words leave me filled with a sense of hope. Maybe we will find our way back to each other. But it has to come from her.

---

I walk inside and close the door behind me. I lean up against the door and try to steady my breathing. What was I thinking? How could I say those things to him? How could I act that way?

I have to try to make this work with Will, but now...now I've given Vaughn a sense of hope. I was wrong to do that.

His voice breaks through the silence.

"You're still in love with him, aren't you?"

"Will?" I say, startled, as I peer into the darkness. I make out a shadowy figure sitting on the stairs.

I take a few steps forward. "Why are you sitting here in the dark?"

He laughs bitterly. "It's amazing the things people will say when they think there's no one around to hear them."

My breath catches in my chest. I look over at the window near the swing and notice for the first time that it's open. He heard us. He saw us.

"Will, it's not-..."

He shakes his head, but his voice is eerily calm and soft, "Spare me, Syd."

He then stands up and walks over to me. His features are twisted in pain. "You know, I didn't have any illusions when I asked you to marry me. I knew you weren't in love with me. I knew that I could give you the stable family you wanted. And that was okay with me because I'd been in love with you for so long that I didn't care how I got to have you, I just wanted you. I convinced myself that in time you might fall in love with me. But that hasn't happened and it's never going to, is it?"

I blink back tears, his pain ripping right through me. He goes on. "I always knew that I would never be able to compete with Vaughn. Even if you managed to fall in love with me, you would never love me like you loved him. He's been here all along. Everytime you looked at me, you wanted to see him."

"That's not true," I say weakly.

"Yes, it is. And every time we kissed or I held you in my arms, you wanted it to be him. I knew that. I accepted it because no matter how much you wanted it, I knew it wasn't possible. But that's not true anymore. He's not just a bunch of memories and dreams. He's real. He's alive."

His breathing grows ragged. "I said to you before that I knew Vaughn wouldn't let you go because I wouldn't. But I just sat there in the dark and listened to my wife talk about a future with another man. And I can't just accept that. I'm not going to go through day after day knowing you'd rather be with him, knowing that at any moment you might gain the courage to tell me the truth. So I'm going to let you go."

The tears are streaming down my face but I pay them no attention. "Will," I say softly.

He swallows against the lump in his throat. "Please, Syd, don't say it's not what you want. I can see it in your eyes. I saw it the moment he came back."

"But we're a family. What about Isabel?"

He takes a deep breath. "I will always love that little girl and I will always consider her my daughter. Nothing's going to change that."

"Then how can you just let us go without a fight?"

He smiles sadly. "I know enough to recognize a fight I'll never win."

I shake my head. "But you say you love her and want her to be happy. This is the only family she's ever known. You have to think of her first, how this will affect her, what's best for her."

"I am," he says sharply. "We could go on like this for years, Syd. Both of us too afraid to say anything, tiptoeing around the elephant in the room. But I would grow to resent you and you would grow to resent me. And the one who would suffer the most would be Isabel. She would know, Sydney. She would feel it. She deserves better than that." He pauses and then adds, "We all do."

I squeeze my eyes shut, as I realize there's no changing his mind. I slowly open my eyes and look at him.

My chin trembles as I take a step forward and place a hand on his cheek. "I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

He nods. "I know you didn't. And I want you to know I don't regret a moment we spent together. I don't regret marrying you. I don't regret being that little girl's father. And if I knew what I know now I'd still do it all over again. For two wonderful years, I got to be with the woman I love. I got to have a family. I'm lucky, Syd. Some people go their whole lives never getting to have that. And for that I am grateful to you. For that I'll always be grateful."

He brings his thumb up and wipes at my cheek. I squeeze my eyes shut, as the tears sting my eyelids. I slowly open them back up again and bring my lips to his in a soft kiss. After a few moments, he pulls away from me abruptly, grabs his keys, and walks out the front door.

I'm left standing there, tears streaming down my cheeks.

---
End of Part 3

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it and please let me know what you thought. Steph