Chapter Five
Downton Abbey had not seen a calm atmosphere following the Spanish flu outbreak there. Poor Bates had been arrested for murder after his late wife's death and was currently awaiting trial. While the news was sad, and Anna was devastated at her husband's imprisonment, Mary knew that the time had come to stop settling for things that would only make her unhappy. Mary took a deep breath as she entered the library and asked Carson to close the door behind her so that she wouldn't be disturbed. Her father looked up from his desk curiously, pushing away the paper he was writing on to one side and turned in his chair to face her directly.
"What is it, Mary?" Robert asked.
"Papa, there's…. something that I…need to discuss with you…" Mary muttered nervously.
She had made her decision and there was no backing out of it now. She knew that her father would be ashamed of her, that he would probably send her away to live in shame once he had learned of her mistake. Mary had told her mother of her intention to confess to her father and whilst Cora had been against it at first, Mary had explained that it was necessary that her father knew before she carried out her next decision.
"Mary?" Robert pressed.
She cleared her throat, avoiding his concerned gaze.
"Papa…do you remember…the Pamuk rumours?" Mary asked delicately.
"Of course. I don't think I would forget a man who stayed here and was found dead in his bed the next morning." Robert stated.
"And…you remember the rumours about…Pamuk and I?"
Robert nodded but remained silent. Mary took a deep breath and then confessed the truth in them in the next sentence. How she had asked for her mother's help and Anna's to move Pamuk's body back to his room after dying in hers. Her father's eyes widened in shock as he finished her tale, telling him of how Vera Bates had discovered the story and threatened to sell it, how she had gone to Sir Richard and asked him to bury it and the price for that favour was their engagement. How Sir Richard had threatened to ruin her if she tried to get out of it.
"My God!" Robert said, shock present in his voice.
Mary blinked back tears, not ready to have them shed in front of her father. She felt a twist of shame and guilt in her gut, making her wish she could run from the room but that would only make her a coward.
"Papa-"
"Let me understand. You're not engaged to Sir Richard because of the right reasons?" Robert queried.
Mary nodded.
"I don't love him. The way he's behaved of late has caused him to get on my nerves." She sighed.
"Who else knows of this all?" Robert asked.
"Obviously mama and Anna. I suspect the servants know of it, someone led Mr. Pamuk to my room that night or at least told him which room was mine. Edith wrote the letter to the Turkish Ambassador-"
"She what?!"
"The fault is mine, Papa. Edith and I have never had a close relationship and nor will we ever. There is always constant competition and bickering between us so when Evelyn Napier informed me of the rumours and who was behind them…I could hardly say I was surprised to learn it was Edith." Mary stated.
"Even so, she had no right to do any of this." Robert muttered.
"I told Matthew. He proposed to me the night Sybil was hurt on election night. I hesitated to accept because we had learned Mama was pregnant again and I thought his position mattered when it didn't. But I was also debating how to tell him the truth about Mr. Pamuk and how his feelings toward me would change once I told him the truth. I was worried he would despise me, and I couldn't bear that." Mary admitted.
Robert looked up; surprise etched on his face.
"I wondered what came between you. I suspected that if your brother had lived that might have been why you and Matthew never married all that time ago." Her father said quietly.
"It was a number of reasons why I struggled to accept but then he retracted his proposal and left Downton. I now know that the position never truly mattered because I love him. But, accepting his proposal then without confessing my night with Mr. Pamuk would have been deceitful." Mary sighed.
"You love Matthew?"
Mary looked at him, a blush hinting on her cheeks.
"Yes. I always have, Papa."
"Why are you telling me this now, Mary?" Robert questioned.
"I thought I was going to die when I fell ill with the flu so I wrote Matthew a letter confessing my feelings so that I would have no regrets. Matthew and I shared a moment together the night everyone fell ill and now Lavinia has broken their engagement and Matthew wants me to stay at Downton with him, instead of marrying Sir Richard." Mary answered truthfully.
Robert's eyes narrowed.
"You intend to end your engagement to Sir Richard Carlisle? And you've told me all about your past mistakes because you're worried that he's going to reveal all and ruin the family?" her father demanded.
"I can't marry him Papa," Mary said desperately, "Not when I love Matthew so strongly. If things were different…If Lavinia hadn't ended the engagement and if Matthew hadn't…I would have married Sir Richard and moved away. But now…"
Her father nodded, taking a few minutes of silence to process what she had told him. Mary shuffled uncomfortably where she stood, not daring to look her father in the eye because of the shame she felt. After a few minutes had passed, Robert cleared his throat and called her attention back to him.
"Mary…I'll help you however I can to get you out of this situation with Sir Richard. It won't be easy, and I suspect that you will have to struggle in society with gossips and ridicule but if it ensures you will be happy…then I'll help." Robert sighed.
Mary felt a tear rush down her cheeks, her heart swelling with gratitude that her father hadn't dismissed her.
"Aren't…Aren't you ashamed of me?" Mary questioned curiously.
Robert shook his head.
"No, we all make mistakes, my darling girl. Whilst I don't approve of what you've done, it is not my place to judge you for it. Besides, I don't want my daughter to marry a man who threatens her with ruin. He may have kept your secret if you married him and I once may have thought that a good thing, but I've been through a war since then and a murder trial will soon follow. To say nothing of your sister's choice of husband. I want a good man for you. A brave man." Her father answered truthfully.
"Oh Papa." Mary said with relief.
She walked to her father's desk and wrapped her arms around him tightly in a safe embrace as Robert stood to his feet. Robert kissed his daughter's cheek as Mary felt a wave of relief wash through her that she had her father's support to move forward.
oOo
Mary stood patiently as the car drove up the drive and came to a stop merely feet in front of her. She watched as the chauffeur got out of the car and walked round to the other side before opening the door to allow Sir Richard to climb out of it. She smiled politely at her fiancé climbed out of the car and came to a stop in front of her.
"Lady Mary." Sir Richard greeted curtly.
"Sir Richard." Mary greeted in reply.
Sir Richard placed a light kiss to her cheek as she led him into the great hall. They entered the library where Mary pulled the bell to ring for some tea.
"I'm glad to see you have recovered. Are you well?" Sir Richard asked.
"I still feel tired and need rest, but I feel better than I did." Mary replied.
"Your father kept me informed, I didn't see the reason to travel so far." Sir Richard said lazily.
Mary frowned. It was more evident now that she wasn't going to regret her decision to end her engagement to the man. She knew that Sir Richard wasn't a romantic, neither was she to be fair. She had always known that if they had married it wouldn't be one filled with gestures and excitement. Theirs would have been a marriage of necessity, even if Richard claimed to love her as he once had. But she knew what love was. It had been Matthew who had sat by her bedside during periods of her illness. She recalled Matthew pleading with her not to leave him. Of course, she wasn't entirely sure she could remember those moments correctly due to being delirious with fever, but she was so sure that Matthew had sat with her and held her hand.
She had longed for Matthew; he had longed for her. Matthew's reaction to the Pamuk scandal had been entirely the opposite of what Sir Richard's had been. Matthew had offered to support her should she break with Sir Richard. Sir Richard only threatened her with blackmail.
"I wonder…were you ever concerned when you were informed that I was ill? I could've died." Mary said bitterly.
Sir Richard raised an eyebrow.
"Concerned? Of course, I was. But I'm not one to hold vigil at your bedside, you know that." He chuckled.
"Considering that this illness has been claiming thousands of lives and I could have been one of them, you didn't seem too concerned." Mary retorted.
"I think you're tired, my dear. Why don't you ask one of the maids to bring you your tea in your room?" Sir Richard suggested with a sneer.
"I'm not tired. Merely annoyed that you showed a lack of concern for my wellbeing." Mary jibed.
Sir Richard cracked his knuckles and shifted his head, his jaw tightening as Mary's heart raced with anxiety. This was it. The moment she had been waiting for. She had planned to wait until after dinner tonight, but there was no point in delaying her plans.
"How dare you speak to me like that? What have I done to deserve it? What?!" Sir Richard demanded angrily.
"I think it's best that we end our engagement. While I appreciate everything you've done…how accommodating you've been…I don't believe we can make each other happy." Mary said bravely.
Sir Richard turned around, refusing to look at her as Mary gulped nervously. She knew that he wouldn't take it well. She knew that he would be angry with her, but she was willing to face the consequences of it.
"My God, Mary, what more could I have done?" Sir Richard demanded angrily.
"Nothing. But you must see that we're not well suited. We'd never be happy." Mary reasoned.
"You won't be happy by the time I'm finished; I promise you that." Sir Richard threatened.
"Of course, I'm grateful-"
"So you should be! I buy your filthy scandal and keep it safe from prying eyes! And why have the papers left you alone over Bates? Why has there been nothing linking him to the great Earl of Grantham?"
"I suppose you stopped it." Mary stated.
"With threats, bribes and calling in favours. Yes, I stopped it." Richard snarled.
"Papa will be so thankful."
"You don't think it holds now, do you? You don't think I'll save you or him for one more day?"
"And you wonder why we wouldn't make each other happy!" Mary shouted.
Richard started towards her, making Mary back away into the bookcase just as the door to the library opened.
oOo
"And you wonder why we wouldn't make each other happy!"
Matthew's ears perked up as he handed over his coat and hat to Carson, rushing to the library door and pushed it open. His blue eyes widened as he saw Mary braced against the bookcase and Sir Richard standing mere feet from her, fury and rage present on his face.
"Mary, are you quite alright?" Matthew questioned, stepping into the room.
He walked to Mary's side, worry filling him as Mary stepped off the bookcase and turned away from him. Matthew stepped between her and Sir Richard, feeling the urge to protect Mary from the man.
"Oh, here he is," Sir Richard sneered, "The man who can smile and smile and be a villain. Is she not to be trusted, even to get rid of me without your help?"
"I heard shouting." Matthew said, turning his attention back to Mary.
The look on Mary's face was one he associated with fear. It was evident that she was trying to end her engagement to Carlisle, and it wasn't going smoothly. Sir Richard was utterly furious, and it only made Matthew eager to protect Mary from his wrath.
"I suppose that harlot is the reason why Lavinia ended your engagement? Tell me, Mr. Crawley, have you sampled the delights of Lady Mary? Just like her dead Turkish lover." Sir Richard sneered.
"I beg your pardon?!" Matthew demanded, his fists clenching.
How dare he use such a word against Mary? It only made him rage and want to tear the bastard's head off.
"We've known for a long time just how much the two of you desired each other. Lavinia knew it you know. She knew that you never loved her." Sir Richard gloated.
"Don't you dare!" Matthew warned.
"She said it once. It was late. She was tired. You two were locked away in the corner of the room. She said 'If he could just admit the truth, then all four of us might have a chance'."
The man's words only ate away at his guilt for breaking Lavinia's heart. Whilst he knew that his heart would always belong to Mary, he had loved Lavinia. But the man was trying to get under his skin by reminding him of his betrayal to Lavinia and the love he felt for Mary.
"You're a liar. You're deluded." Matthew stated through gritted teeth.
"I'm not a liar. No, I am many things, but not that. Of course, Lavinia regretted what she said but she spoke the truth. How long have you been fucking Lady Mary behind our backs? Right under our noses? Is that why she's never eager to please me?" Sir Richard said nastily.
"You bastard!" Matthew sneered, his right fist clenched and swinging forward landed straight in the man's face.
Mary shrieked in fear as Matthew felt himself being grabbed by Sir Richard and the two wrestled each other to the floor. Matthew felt Sir Richard's fist make contact to his face, hard and fast and stinging just as Matthew managed to push the man off him and tackle him to the floor. Somewhere, he heard a smashing as a vase fell off a side table and hit the floor.
"STOP THIS AT ONCE!" a voice yelled.
Matthew released Carlisle and staggered back, coming to a stop just opposite Mary who looked distressed from their fight. His gaze met Robert's furious one as he tried to take some deep breaths to control his anger.
"Mary, take Matthew to the drawing room and ask Mrs Hughes for some water and cloths, he needs cleaning up. I need to have a talk with Sir Richard." Robert instructed with a growl.
Matthew allowed Mary to lead him out of the room and followed her into the drawing room. She rang for Mrs Hughes and requested the water and towels to clean up Matthew's face and instructed him to sit down. He sat in an armchair, shifting to get comfortable, just as Mrs Hughes entered the room and placed the bowl of warm water and wash cloths on the side table before exiting and closing the door behind her.
He watched with interest as Mary folded the washcloth and carefully dipped it into the water. She gently knelt to the floor and came close to him, gently pressing the washcloth to the graze on his face. Matthew winced, causing Mary to look at him apologetically as she gently dabbed it to clear away the blood.
"I'm sorry about the vase." Matthew apologised with a light smile.
"Don't be. Granny was given it as a wedding present, she's hated it for half a century." Mary chuckled.
Matthew chuckled lightly, watching as Mary dipped the cloth into the water and rinsed it before dabbing it back on his forehead.
"Has anyone ever told you that you suit the role of nurse?" Matthew asked teasingly.
She looked into his eyes warmly, pressing the cloth against his skin smoothly.
"After the war, I suppose it's a natural instinct now. Sybil taught me quite a bit." Mary replied.
"You certainly made my recovery a little less lonely."
"Sybil taught me how to clean wounds the day you were brought to the hospital. Of course, she's the true nurse of the family."
Matthew looked at her with a wonderous gaze. Mary was such a wonderous woman, beneath that cold exterior she had first shown him upon meeting. She had softened and shown there was a lot more to her, at least that was how she was when she was around him. It was Mary who had made him feel slightly less bitter about his injury and recovery, it had been Mary who had been determined to show him that he still had a life ahead of him, despite his efforts to push her away. And then Lavinia had returned and well...now he was here with Mary.
"I don't think I ever thanked you properly for tending to me." Matthew whispered.
"I don't need or want your thanks, Matthew. I wanted to do it. I did it out of love." Mary said softly.
Matthew grasped her wrist lightly, stopping her from cleaning it any more and stared into her brown eyes. He pulled her forward, causing her to gasp as her hand fell into his lap to prevent herself falling. His lips swooped down and claimed hers hungrily. Mary dropped the washcloth on to his shoulder as her hand caressed his cheek softly and hers cupped her face in his hands as their mouths moved together. He felt like he was in heaven as he kissed her, his tongue moving with hers as the kiss grew more heated, all he could think, feel, smell, drink in was Mary.
Mary moaned against his mouth as he pulled her up and into his lap, his arms wrapping around her waist as he held her close. Her hands wrapped around his neck, gently rubbing at his exposed skin before she pulled away and broke the kiss. Her breathing was erratic, as was his, but the look in her eyes was one of wonder, desire, love.
"I'm sorry if he frightened you, darling. If I frightened you." Matthew whispered hoarsely.
"You didn't." Mary whispered reassuringly.
"You're free?"
Mary nodded, giving him a wide smile as he pressed his lips back to hers. Mary gripped the collar of his shirt tightly as he kissed her teasingly, his hands gripping at her waist as she moved and straddled his lap. Matthew could feel arousal coursing through his body as he held her closely. She broke the kiss again, breathing rapidly.
"Matthew…" she hummed contentedly.
"I love you, Mary. With my whole heart." Matthew confessed.
"And I you, my darling."
It didn't matter that they had only shortly been broken off with their engagements. In their minds, they had spent too long being apart to worry about the shortness of anything else. Matthew was content to hold Mary in his arms for as long as possible before they heard Robert's voice in the great hall. Springing out of Matthew's arms, Mary knelt to the floor and quickly picked up the cloth and began dabbing it to the graze on Matthew's forehead, apologising quietly as he winced from the sharpness of her touch.
The door opened and Robert stepped in, looking absolutely furious.
"Papa…" Mary began.
Robert held up his hand, silently asking her to be quiet.
"Sir Richard has just left, and we've come to an agreement to keep your scandal out of the papers." Robert informed them.
"What did you do?" Mary asked worriedly.
"That doesn't matter. But it's buried and now the two of you are free, and now I insist you start doing things properly." Robert replied sharply.
Matthew smiled as Mary blushed.
"Robert, we weren't…"
"The door stays open from this moment forward whenever you two are alone together. If a chaperone can't be arranged, then the door stays open where Carson or a footman can hear and see what's going on." Robert instructed.
Matthew nodded, looking down at Mary who was still blushing furiously.
"Robert, I had something I wished to discuss with you, if you have a moment?" Matthew asked.
"Yes. My apologies, I forgot. Come to the library if Mary has finished tending to you." Robert replied, leaving the room.
Mary rose to her feet and stepped back, Matthew stood up from the armchair, looking Mary up and down before giving her a wink. Mary grinned, kissing his cheek, and bidding him goodbye as Matthew left the drawing room and followed Robert down the hall.