and here we are again with a new installment to the story To Cry: Tears of a Wildflower.
hehe I intended to update sooner, however with all the checks and upgrades going on for the past few days kinds threw my schedule off balance.
however, before we continue with this next chapter I would like to say that this story...rather this fanfic is dedicated to someone I admire who is currently experiencing tribulation in her life.
So for you guys who have protests against the pairings of this story...well, bite the bullet and just read cuz... really... this story...is intended to make my friend smile
so smile Gelica!
this story is for you!
your friend,
ayu.
Disclaimer: I do not own naruto, However I do own the concept behind this fanfic.
And I DO NOT OWN THE SONG used in this chapter. All rights to that song are reserved to the band Steven Curtis Chapman.
anywy, enuf of mi blubberin
on to the story!
Chapter 10
The stars at night: Her song, His memories.. Love sang in a Lullaby
"KAAWWWWWWWWAIII! SAKURA! HEEEESS SOOO ADORABLE!"
The babe in Sakura's arms only stared at the strange sight before him. Not less than three days upon entering the new world in which he was now inducted into… strange figures with even peculiar personalities engulfed his every walking second…
To walk into the mind of this small child…
The world was not as he had expected.
It was weird…"Geez, Ino can you be more loud?"
Ino continued to poke and squeeze every chubby piece of flesh that dominated the poor boy.
"Hahahaha… geez Shikamaru… can you be more dense? This is Ino here… when has she never been loud?" snickered Kiba. "She's like… the female version of Naruto when it comes to being…ehem…'vociferous'…"
"Oi! Kiba! Don't you dare compare me to that siren!" scoffed Naruto as he crossed his arms and pouted his infamous pout.
"And don't compare me to that Ramen-obsessed pathetic excuse for a Shinobi!"
"Look whose talking…you loud mouthed medusa!"
Yes, the world was…
Weird…"N-n…aruto-kun, Ino-…. chan… I thi…nk it's best if …the ch…ild had. …Some peace and. …Quiet… after all it has only been a few days since Minoru has been born…" Hinata somehow staggered to say as she pressed in between the two-heated Shinobi.
"Arigato Hinata… but it's ok…let them be…" Sakura's smiled at her friend's concern for the well being of her son.
"Yea, besides shorty here is gonna have to get used to their bickering eventually… might as well be sooner than later noh?" chimed Kiba as he continued to chuckle at the sight of Naruto and Ino an arm's length away from armaggedon.
Since the night of his birth, Sakura's friends have constantly been in and out of her doorstep wishing to see the new life she had just created. Days passed and life was as it was for the young kunoichi. Her friends would come and go leaving behind warmth that she wished came from the man who had given her his final farewell the night Minoru entered the world. However, the truth was farther from what she would like to expect.
Sasuke didn't leave that night because of disgust.
He was not avoiding her because she was weak…
He did not shun himself from her because she was not worthy to be someone of importance to him…
No…
He left her in the cold emptiness of her heart because… out of everything else…every possible explanation… every formula… every idea that she thought stemmed from his annoyance of her…
He left… because she made him weak…
Why and how this was possible was something that she couldn't understand, and silently she pondered if she ever will. But the words that he uttered that night replayed within her mind over and over again…
And with each repetition… the same feeling burned within her.
Heartache mixed with the disgraceful taste of unimportance.
She hated it. Most of all… she was beginning to detest his words… Why in the entire world would she weaken the strongest Shinobi that walked the streets of Konoha? Why? In all her impudence how could she even begin to explain to her heart that she made the Uchiha, Sasuke weak?
She sighed at her own failure to comprehend and silently wished that Sasuke would slowly dissipate from her heart.
But every attempt she had ever formulated to extract the avenger from her love had failed miserably…
In the end…no matter what heinous crime he committed against her…
She could never force herself to be freed from him…could never hate him… even by the tiniest bit.
How it is that the smartest Shinobi couldn't see past the traps that he set before her was beyond her comprehension…
Indeed, would she ever find faith in love again?
She hoped… but hoping was only left reserved for those that stood a chance… and for her, she had none left.
The small child in her arms cooed away as he slowly drifted off into slumber…
' At least… I have you… and I always will…' she smiled still gazing upon the beauty of her son as her mind slowly drowned the noise of her ever-so-caring friends.
Yes…this was all she needed in the world… the love of a son… her son…
Right now… Sasuke was nothing more than a detail in her life…
It had been three days since he has stayed with her. It was his turn to stand guard of her safety this week and he had given the Hokage that promise.
It had been three days since her son had been born…
Three days since he last felt the touch of her warmth on his skin…
Three days since he had seen her genuinely smile…
Three days since… everything in his world started to become hazed with confusion…
And still he did not understand why… why it was that the world frightened him that day she was in pain. Why he had not left when his mind screamed in protest. Why his feet decided not to move even when he knew his presence was no longer required. Why anger suddenly surged forth from him the night the avenger had left her in the darkness of her tears. Why he had a sudden urge to strangle the Uchiha with his bare hands then and there. Such things were foreign to his understanding. Never had he imagined that he would experience such sensations in his life before. After all, he had all that he needed… he had never wanted more than what life…what his life required.
Power
Training
Laws to abide by
A family name
Missions to fulfill
These things are what dominated his existence… these things that he thought sustained what life was formulated upon. Everything that he had deemed important in his life was concise, concrete, stable… never too much or too less… never too small or too big… they all came in the right quantitative amount that was vital in the Shinobi lifestyle.
Nothing was ever misplaced, miscalculated, misinterpreted…
Everything that revolved around his existence he knew from the back of his hand…
Nothing was ever out of place.
Everything worked within a set of harmonic rhythms that rhymed in sync with his life…
So then why? Why was it that within him was this tune that he cannot place…a melody that disrupts the harmony in which he existed? What is this thing… this strange feeling that has been tugging behind his mind?
Sure, he cared for the girl just as he would if she were part of his family… However, something about her… the way she smiled… the way her eyes always illuminated determination even in the midst of devastation… everything about her… from the greatest feats to the tiniest flaws…
It bothered him…
It bothered him that he could not erase this sensation from deep within his mind… it bothered him that he could not decipher it's meaning…
And more importantly…it bothered him because it was something that he…enjoyed?
Perplexed and slightly annoyed with his own misconstrued reasonings, he sighed as he peered outside his window. The sky was now a dark hue of blue and black and the stars that scattered throughout the midnight sky greatly contrasted the darkness that the evening possessed. The world was in deep slumber, a state of bliss and dreams that have stood the test of tranquility and solitude.
However, despite the calming ambiance that Mother Nature had provided, he could not find his way into a peaceful rest. Groggily admitting defeat he stood from his futon to sit where the rest of the world slumbered. Opening the sliding door that separated his room from the outside, Neji sat in idle contentment just staring at the stars above. He could feel the wind whirl past him and recollected the nights he spent under the stars with his own father. How long it has been since he even thought about him. How long it has been since he had sat outside beneath the ethereal glow of the heavens. He wondered then…when had everything in his life changed?
The life that fate had paved before him was something that his heart never wished for. And the engraved reminder upon his forehead would always block his mind in attempting to wish for something beyond what fate had already provided.
So when? When had everything changed?
Was this indeed the life he wanted?
The life of a Shinobi…the life of a bird destined for the sky yet bound by the chains of a cage?
Was this after all…his dream?
"Dream"
He grimaced at the thought
Since when did he ever think of being a shinobi a dream? Was it all in between feeling the blood of the fallen within his hands? Or was it when he witnessed the betrayal of his clan, the demise of his father…?
When was it that he thought of such notions as a dream?
If it were…the life of a Shinobi… if it all started with a dream, when was it that he had awoken and was forced into the thresholds of reality…of pain?
'Tou-san…sometimes I wish you were still here to guide me'There were times in his life that Neji need not even think about emotions… times wherein he thought that they were nothing but useless factors that made people weak. However, when the world was not there to judge him, his entire being regressed back to where his youth once existed… the young fragile boy who wanted to live for his father's expectations. The vibrant youth that drowned in bliss and innocence.
But such a phase in his life was short lived, and soon innocence was nothing more than a misused word in his vocabulary… and emotions held no meaning.
But every so often… the boy within the man would silently rekindle his spirit and step out into the world when no one bothered to look.
He smiled.
Tonight was such a night.
Once again he gazed upon the stars and followed where his thoughts contemplated. The silence was enough to make him sleep where he was, however the presence of another alerted him back to his senses. Out of the sliding door emerged the maiden he was there to protect and care for. Even with the rest that she has had, her body still failed in comparison to what she was before the events in her life took a turn for the dramatic. Her skin underneath the moonlight made a heavy emphasis on her porcelain complexion, and her tiny fragile body gracefully hunched in exhaustion as she stepped forth into the cool evening breeze.
She failed to notice, however that there was already someone to keep her company out in the still and silent night. As she exited the room that had provided her with privacy she had accidentally bumped into his back causing her to stumble a few inches away, however being the flawless shinobi that he was, Neji stood in one swift movement to delicately retract the young mother from falling violently upon the cold wooden floor. As her body collided into his firm grasp, he couldn't help but feel a soft tingle surge through his spine. A force that was strong enough to last an impact on his soul, yet delicate enough to lightly pull upon the heartstrings that he thought he never possessed. Her body was so light and fragile… not so small yet not so big—the perfect fit within his arms. The seconds that passed seemed like an eternity as he held the young maiden in the comfort of his embrace. The light and gentle breeze was threatening to engulf them into the midnight winter…but the warmth that radiated from their forms won the war against the winds… and there they stood… in each other's warm embrace.
It was only for mere seconds in time when he held her… however; he couldn't help but feel content with her touch… her scent… his arms wrapped protectively around her small frame…
Why he felt such things he never understood.
Why he let his heart dominate his mind for these few seconds… he could not decipher…
Why and how these were possible… he could not fathom…
It bothered him.
Scared him.
Annoyed him.
It wasn't in his character.
His stoic persona faltered the moment he felt her touch upon his cold and rigid body.
It disturbed him.
And yet he welcomed it… and deep within his subconscious state… he didn't mind spending more than meager seconds holding her this way…
However, being the upright…and often times uptight Shinobi that he was, he settled his arms firmly to his sides immediately feeling her warmth fade away into the wind's kiss. She was so near… and yet he could not understand why… why at that moment… the moment he had freed her from his safety…
She had become miles away from his reach.
But he quickly dismissed such thoughts as he leaned in to inspect the distressed look of worry that cursed her flawless features.
"You should be more careful Sakura-san," he whispered as he slowly let the maiden stand to find her balance.
"Gomen Neji-san. I did not realize you were here…Pardon me for intruding--"
"This is your home Sakura-san… you should not apologize for anything." He simply stated as he reclaimed his spot upon the wooden floor. "Is something the matter? Could you not sleep?" he questioned as she positioned herself not far beside him.
"No…" she gently swung her head from side to side "Nothing is the matter…." Her head hung low and he immediately detected a faint hint of false truth… but casually disregarded the matter…after all, Hyuuga Neji was never one to pry into personal affairs…not unless it intrigued him greatly (which rarely happened underneath a blue moon). "I just wanted to see them dance tonight" She replied.
He gave her a quizzical stare as she looked into the heavens and gazed at the stars. "The stars… I wanted to witness their waltz tonight…" she whispered into the wind. He looked up above where the stars scattered throughout the darkness of the sky, and wondered what she had meant by her words.
"When I was younger…" she started, snapping the Hyuuga out of his trance as he intently listened to her speak. Somehow, something in the way her words were said…something in that harmonic balance… made his mind keen and alert on every word she uttered. "My father and I would come sneak out and watch the stars at night… I know it sounds strange but… I feel his presence whenever I watch the stars …" She paused "He once told me that when you loose someone important in your life… they never really disappear…even when… you can't touch their flesh, smell their scent… or see their form… they never truly disappear…" She sighed.
Deep down, Neji knew that people never completely disappeared when they vanished from the world of mortals. But where they went he could never figure out… he had always reasoned that when someone dies they become trapped in what humans refer to as "memories" and slowly as time heals away the wounds they have left with their deaths… their imprints upon one's memories fades away into the dusk. When his father had died… part of who he was—his innocence, his youth, had died as well… and so the memory of his father remained as such—nothing more than a mere memory… a face… a small moment in time plastered upon the back of his troubled mind. A memory that had granted him the privilege to hate and detest the clan whose name he possessed. All he could remember from his memory…was the death of his father… the pain he felt… the vengeance that boiled in his blood… somehow… somewhere along the line, he had forgotten who his father really was before death sought him in the most heinous, yet noble way.
"Is it not that our memories are what preserves their identities in our hearts? So then, when one dies… he is reduced to nothing more than a mere memory… a small space in time captured in a picture by the mind." He stated calmly
"I suppose… you could say that our memories help us preserve the love that they once gave us… but… really… it shouldn't and does not stop there." Sakura replied "Memories serve as a testament to their love, not as small pieces of experiences that they have left behind for us to remember…memories and the lives they have lived and left behind are as pervasive as the wind… you cannot see it and may choose to ignore it… but you can always feel it's presence… and that's why they never disappear…"
"And where is it that they go?" he questioned, his eyes still firmly set upon the horizon.
"Here…" She stated as he glanced to his side where Sakura had placed a hand over her heart. "Here…" she shifted her touch to her forehead… "And up there…" She stretched out her palm towards the sky above. "My father told me, that when people die, their souls climb towards heavens… and at night… when the world is in peace…you can watch as they dance a midnight waltz with the stars…" she smiled lightly "I suppose, that's why I can never sleep without seeing the stars at night…"
Somehow her simple childish logic had sent him thinking… about his past… about what fate had bestowed upon him… about his father… whether or not he was up there dancing as well…
A small cry echoed within the walls of Sakura's quarters that had snapped the Byakuugan user out of his childish trance.
"Oh dear, Minoru must have woken… Gomen, Neji-san… but I guess I must leave you now…" She stood and walked to where her son wailed for her presence. He watched her until she disappeared behind the sliding paper door. As she entered, she had somehow forgotten to completely shut the entryway to her quarters, which left a tiny gap wherein he could have a small picturesque gaze upon her as she huddled upon her futon with the child in her arms… somehow he cursed for one precious moment… that she would comeback into his company.
However, this was the inevitable out come to motherhood…and silently he sighed and began to look once again at the sky above. He thought about what she said… and a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips.
"Now, now Minoru… it's alright…" She could hear her whisper, but the child continued to cry in distress "Oh I know… Oka-saan used to sing this song to me when I was little… you'd have to forgive me Minoru… your mother isn't the most talented singer… but for you I'll give it a try…"
He inwardly chuckled at her simplistic behavior towards the child. And so it began…
Her song…
I'll Take care of you
Don't be sad, don't be blue
I'll never break your heart in two
I'll take care… of you
The cry of the young babe slowly disappeared into the vastness of the evening and was replaced by her own soothing voice…
I'll take care of you
I'll kiss your tears away
I'll end your lonely days
all that I'm really trying to say
Is I'll take care of you
A soothing lullaby now dominated the household… and his mind as he continued to listen to the words she sang as she held her son closely to her bosom. He peered once more into the room that held the mother and her son and could not help but feel at peace at such a precious moment.
The words of her song… the harmony in her voice…soothed even his stoic heart…
I want you to know that I love you so
I'm proud to tell the world you're mine
I said it before, I'll say it once more
You'll be in my heart 'til the end of time
The song could not have been more fitting for the young lad and the mother that held him. A promise of love engraved in a song emphasized by their bond.
He listened on as the song soon faded.
And looked again to the stars… he counted each that his eyes could capture…
One two three…
He made it a game to see how long it would be before sleep would trap him… he listened to her song as he continued…
Four… five… six…
Each word enticed him and lulled him into a peaceful state…
Seven… eight… nine…
And sleep took refuge in his soul.
Nine…
Her song lasted nine stars that night his heart had opened their gates to her lullaby…
sorry I havent updated in a while... spring break has given me much time to procrastinate and actually sit and think about college. Gowsh...a few more weeks and highschool is over --''' somehow i worry i wont make it but anyway...
The song above is from a band named Steven Curtis Chapman. it's really beautiful and iono... I just thought it was fitting for Sakura and Minoru.
Anyway, I shall try to update as soon as I can.
and dont ya'll worry about the father's identity... he shall be revealed soon enough!
and what's this with neji?
what about sasuke?
oooh
lots of love and much confusion,
your faithful author,
ayu...>.