"Either you pull yourself together and you get on with your life or you fall apart alone." — Monty Green, "Watch the Thrones"
Kane nearly turned around when he saw the sheer number of delinquents waiting for him at the rover. Technically three, but he grouped all of the young people in the delinquent category now, making the total five. He wondered if they would be okay with him calling them that — he thought Raven would take it as a compliment, given what she did to get to the Ground. But Gina might not be so keen on the idea.
He passed Rover 1 on his way and saw the arrow holes in the back door. The blood had all been washed away, but the damage remained. As he neared the kids, he could see the damage there too. He knew Raven was an expert at dealing with heartbreak and loss, but the others were showing their grief. Gina had been close to Wick during school; he actually introduced her to Bellamy. Monty and Wick had worked together before Monty's arrest while he was training for the engineer program and had spent a great deal of time together on Earth working on various projects. But when they spotted Kane, their faces changed and they hid the pain they were feeling.
"You showed," Gina said, a forced smile on her face.
"I told you he would," Raven said, walking toward the driver's seat. "Come on, we're wasting daylight."
Kane raised an eyebrow but climbed into the back after Jasper, Monty, and Rebecca. The rover lurched forward and Rebecca took his hand; he fought the urge to pull it out of hers. He knew he had to try for normalcy. He looked across the back at Jasper and Monty who were whispering to each other, their mouths barely moving. Kane sighed and leaned his head against the wall of the vehicle, letting the motion of the cab move his body as it went over what he assumed was a bumpy field.
Rebecca's hand tightened over his and he glanced her way. She was staring at him, her brows furrowed. He sighed and asked, "What is it?"
She shrugged and said, "It's nothing really; you seem different. Better."
He studied her and saw hope beneath the concern on her face. "I'm trying."
Rebecca nodded and squeezed his hand again. "I know."
He glanced across the rover at Monty and Jasper, finding their eyes trained on him and Rebecca. He pulled his hand out of hers and stared at the brace on his leg, trying to ignore their gazes. Their concern was too much for him and unexpected given the fact that he had ordered the arrests of all three of them. They should hate him, why didn't they hate him?
Jasper and Monty were whispering again when he looked up some minutes later, but they kept glancing his way. He frowned and ran a hand over his bad leg as if touching it would somehow heal the extensive scar tissue. He stared hard at the piece of metal attached to his leg, both thankful for it and detesting it at the same time.
"We're here!" Raven called from the front. Kane looked up, unsure of how long he was looking at the brace for. Monty gave him a tentative smile but Jasper clapped him on the shoulder as he stood and said, "You're going to love this."
Kane's brows furrowed but, still, he followed the three kids out of the back of the rover. They were in a clearing, Gina and Raven stood by the tree line, beckoning them over. Raven said, "It's not far in."
Kane didn't need to follow them, he remembered exactly where he had planted it. Five months may have passed, but he led the way as if he made the journey every day. He strolled over the roots of the large trees on the way, letting the brace do the work for his right leg.
The Eden Tree was small still, but had grown at least half a foot in the past few months. He knelt in front of it and put his hand on its leaves, relishing the familiar feel of it. He had grown up with the tree and it was strange to see it larger than he had always known it, even if it was only by a few inches.
"Welcome home, Kane," Raven said from behind him. He glanced back and found her looking not at him but at the small tree. She walked over and sat next to it, the others came over and did the same. He stared at them for a moment before he sat opposite it.
"Brewed this especially for the occasion," Monty said, pulling a bottle of moonshine from his bag.
"And what occasion is that?" Kane asked curiously as the bottle was passed to him. It was heavy in his hand and as he unscrewed the lid, the overpowering smell flooded his nostrils.
"Memorial," Raven said, motioning for him to take a swig of the alcohol. He didn't; instead, he said, "We just had one."
Gina smiled sadly and said, "Not really our style. We prefer to drink it away."
Kane looked at Jasper and the boy raised his hands. "I don't partake too much."
He nodded and raised the bottle to the kids surrounding him. "To those we've lost. May we meet again."
"May we meet again," they echoed. He took a drink of the moonshine and passed it to Rebecca. It went to Gina next, then Raven. She said quietly, "Wick always liked your moonshine, Monty."
Monty smiled as he watched her take a drink before handing the bottle to Jasper.
"Maya would have liked this," Jasper muttered. They all looked at him and he was frowning deeply, running his thumb over the bottle of moonshine. Kane was about to lean across the small space to grab it from him, but to his surprise, Jasper passed it along to Monty.
Monty took a large gulp of the alcohol and said, "I heard my dad died saving a bunch of kids when they landed."
"My dad died in the Tondc missile attack," Gina said quietly, her voice breaking on the last word. Rebecca gently took her hand.
"Your fathers were good men," Kane commented as the bottle came back to him from Monty's hand. He leaned heavily against the trunk of the tree opposite the Eden Tree and stared at it as he took a swig of the alcohol. "Mine wasn't."
"Mine wasn't either," Rebecca admitted.
"Same here," Raven said. "My mom too."
"I think my parents are dead," Jasper said quietly, staring at the forest floor. He toed a rock with his boot, trying to take his mind off of the radio silence from the other stations they were still experiencing.
Kane frowned and handed the bottle off to Rebecca. He said, "You don't know that. They could be out there, trying to make contact."
"Or they could be in a crater from one of the crashes. Or they could have blown up on the way down. You don't know what happened to them. You don't even know what station they were on!" Jasper shouted.
"Just because you're not fine, doesn't mean that you should take it out on everyone else!" Monty said quickly, glaring at his best friend. All eyes were on Monty as he continued, "No one knew if they were going to make it to Earth. You can't expect him to keep track of where everyone was, that's not okay."
A tense silence descended on them until Jasper muttered, "Sorry."
He was staring at the ground again, not able to meet Kane's eyes. Kane said, "Don't worry about it."
"Well, this got depressing," Raven said, leaning across Gina to snatch the bottle from Rebecca. She took a large swig of it and kept hold of the bottle as she said, "We've all lost people, but we can't focus on that. We have to think of the good; that's how I got through Finn's death, that's how I'm getting through Wick's, that's how I'll survive whatever death comes next."
Kane became silent as the others started sharing stories of their lost loved ones. He was only half listening as Monty started telling about the few times his dad had "accidentally" forgotten to lock up the medicinal herbs whenever Monty and Jasper were on volunteer duty in the Farm Station growing labs. He knew Raven was right and that he had to stop thinking of all of the bad that had happened; he couldn't think of the people he had lost, of those he had gotten killed, of those he had left in harm's way — it was distracting him from what mattered: his family, his people, his home, those who were still very alive.
"Kane, what about Vera?" Gina asked, pulling him out of his reverie. She had a smile on her face after telling a story about her father's role in helping set up Camp Jaha. "Why was the Eden Tree so special to her?"
"It was a symbol of Earth," he said quietly, looking at the small tree before glancing around at the much larger ones surrounding it. "This was always her dream, making it here. The Tree was her only connection to this place — she thought it was so idilic," he frowned, "she was wrong."
Rebecca said, "There's still good here, it's not all death and destruction."
"It's mostly death and destruction," Jasper commented. Kane sat up suddenly and Jasper thought he had said something wrong but Kane raised a hand to silence them. To his surprise, they all quieted, barely breathing.
It was silent for a few moments then the cracking of twigs and branches broke through. Kane motioned for the kids to get as low to the ground as they could, hoping that the dense trees would hide them. He reached for the handgun at his hip, thankful he had thought to grab it before meeting them in the hangar — they may not have been going out on a mission, but it was still very dangerous outside of the walls. He pushed himself to his feet and pressed his back to the tree he was against.
The sounds were coming from behind the tree and he clutched his gun to his chest and undid the safety as the noises grew louder. He took in a deep breath before he turned quickly and sidestepped the tree, facing the advancing person. The gun was level with their face but he found his hand shaking when he met her eyes.
"Kane," Clarke breathed as she lowered her gun. She ran to him and he did a quick scan of her, taking in the leaves in her hair, the blood and dirt on her clothes, the tear in her shirt. Penn and what was left of his warriors trailed behind her, looking just as worn out.
He lowered his gun as Clarke slammed into him — he was thankful for the tree behind him to keep him on his feet, his brace wasn't prepared for the impact. Clarke's arms tightened around him as she buried her face in his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on top of her head.
She whispered into his jacket, "We have a problem."
"What?" He asked, stroking her hair, overly aware of the eyes on them. A twig snapped behind Penn and the warriors parted to let the man through. Kane froze in Clarke's arms as he watched him come closer. The kids rose to their feet as they watched him approach. Clarke whispered, "We ran into him on the way, he followed us."
Clarke released Kane as Thelonious Jaha stopped a few feet from them. He said, "Hello, Marcus."