As I entered my room I locked the door and put a stick in the vent to prevent Lucy from entering unnoticed. Once the trap was ready, I sat down on the floor and grabbed one of the balls that Lynn had put down.
The sound of it bouncing off the wall eased off my nerves.
Tap tap tap tap.
Kind of.
"You must be wondering what happened… Yes, yes, I know. I haven't talked to you all in a long time," I took a deep breath, "I think it would be best to speak up and explain everything. Let's begin with the most important: Lily will be fine. Lisa's calculations indicate that the damage will only show in her fifteens or fourteens... in the worst case at eleven. "
I looked at the ventilation grill, there was no sign of movement.
"Now about the rest ... Lisa implanted something into me— I don't know when —let's say they are nanomachines, although she requested me to not call them like that. That kind of technology was impossible to create for her, at least for now."
"It doesn't matter anyway, those machines are small and very clever."
I tightly gripped the ball for a moment, trying to raise my blood pressure as much as I could. When I released the pressure, my body didn't feel anything out of the ordinary.
"The machines' job is to consume my blood and transform it into data for Lisa."
I kept bouncing the ball against the wall.
"You may not believe it, I definitely didn't do it at first. I mean, how could I not notice that I had something running through my body? Well, it turns out that these machines consume a lot of blood, and a side effect is loss of focus and concentration, or even consciousness. I have been experiencing all that from greater to a lesser extent."
The ball ended up bouncing out of my range and rolled down under the bed, I didn't feel like searching through the pigsty down there so I decided to go get my notebook instead.
"Lisa has been modifying the amount of blood drawn, which is why I have no longer passed out these last few days. Unfortunately, it is still possible for me to lose concentration completely if I get extremely tired. "
Then take the notebook and take a pencil out of one of my drawers.
The best thing is to start writing down what has happened so far before I forget the talk with Lisa.
"Of course, doing blood tests on the affected person's brother was not enough. Lisa needed my body to be useful for her investigation so she modified something in me, many things to be honest, but I could not understand any of them. In short. I know the reason behind my lust— and I suppose some of my sisters' lust too—is a product of their research."
I began to write down the encounters with my sisters to date, pointing out how easily I lost consciousness in most of those encounters. It certainly agreed with the changes Lisa had mentioned to me. Or at least, that was what it seemed for me…
Did they really start at the same time as me?
A small void in my head led me to think that something was missing. But I shrugged at the thought of thinking about it any further.
"To be honest, I don't care much about the experiment. Or the changes in my hormones. Or the fact that my skin seems to secrete a kind of pheromone. That last one was an accident, although you can't always believe what Lisa says."
I closed the notebook and went to bed, the need to think far outweighed my desires to do so.
"The thing is, there were two things that she said that I am sure are true, the first being that Lucy was in charge of keeping me hypnotized to prevent me from getting out of control. Emphasis on was, as Lisa made it clear that Lucy forfeit her duties soon after starting them. "
And the second…
The stick I left on the rack fell to the ground, and obviously, Lucy came out of the vent shortly after.
"Hi, Linc," she said while cleaning her dress, "Lisa told me you already talked to her."
I didn't look back. I was upset. Confused. Tired.
I honestly don't want to talk to you.
"Guess she told you everything."
Almost everything, but I don't want to know more for now.
"Well, her cameras don't cover what happens in Lori and Leni's room, so maybe there are things she doesn't know…"
I just have to tell him to go away.
"Why are you here?" I answered bluntly instead of doing what I had thought.
"I'm here because I hate myself, and I deserve to be punished for what I did."
What kind of answer is that? That she hates herself? A punishment? Alright, I'll give you one.
"You must have kept me at bay, and instead you took advantage of me."
"I know," she said before gulping.
And instead of that ... instead of that... you.
"You are the one to blame for all this!"
"It's true," she replied, her hands shaking. It was a horrible thing to see. And yet, I couldn't stop the anger from growing deep inside me.
What... what it is with that attitude? No, no! The only one who can feel bad here is me. I am the victim here.
"You had the power to save me from this trouble. All that time I spent in therapy. These feelings!" I got up then and faced her, "I wouldn't have to worry about a thing if it wasn't for whatever you did to me!"
My ears perked up right after the scream, footsteps echoing through the walls of my room soon after. It was obvious that it was impossible to argue with her without the others finding out.
"I had told you before that you shouldn't have trusted me. I am a monster ..." It was no longer her hands. her voice, her lips, and her entire body seemed to tremble. If things continued like this it would be the first time I would see her cry about something... something that I.
No.
I was pinning my chest just to see what I was doing to her.
No. NO. She abused you. You can't feel guilt.
I growled fervently and shook my head in despair, "Enough, stop doing that!"
"Eh- D-Do what?"
"Blame yourself, be afraid, look like you're about to cry!" I yelled at her, getting angrier by the second.
Why?
But the hatred was no longer towards her,
Why do I feel like this?
"It's not fair, I'm the one suffering here for Lily's sake. No one should feel bad except me."
I didn't choose this.
"Dude. Linc," I turned my head, my sisters had forced my door. Almost all of my sisters were there. In the front, Luan was holding a torn paper clip in her hand. "It's okay to feel bad. It wasn't just Lucy, we too are guilty," she explained while pointing at my other sisters.
That was supposed to be the truth, but if so, why did I still feel so bad about myself?
Because I knew it.
No.
I knew it was my fault too.
"NO," I clenched my fists and started hitting my head against the wall of my room, "THIS IS WRONG."
"Lincoln?!" yelled one of my sisters, I don't know which one of them. I did not care.
"Just make it all stop!" I howled as I kept beating myself against the wall.
"Lincoln stop!" Lynn implored before running to me and holding me, "Calm down!"
"That's what I've wanted, to be calm. That has been what I've always wanted," my voice cracked, and I couldn't help but feel the hatred inside me spread through my body, making my legs and hands shiver. "I just want to forget. I don't want to make excuses for what I feel anymore."
"And do you know why?" I turned my head towards her, "Because I didn't choose to have these feelings!"
I pushed Lynn to the side and ran out of the room, pushing my other sisters away from the door. I felt sick of it all, sick of those thoughts, sick of having to think about how to deal with them.
I looked up the stairs and all I could think about was how easy it would be to get rid of everything; to deny those feelings and that grief. Just living, maybe not a happy life, but a better one for me and them.
All I had to do was run, run as long as far as my legs could take me, and until there was no way for my sisters to find me. But…
I failed ... I couldn't even take the first step ... The machines drew my blood at the worst possible moment and, as a result, for a brief moment I lost my balance. Then the world fell apart. Every step I fell was another stabbing pain whipping through my body.
I heard Lola call out my name before a final blow temporarily robbed me of my senses. When I opened my eyes again, I was on the floor, and a red spot covered my sight.
The girls were there. Leni and the twins crying right next to me while the others were shouting about what to do.
"We need Lori, go find her!" I heard Luan scream.
"She left with that doctor who came in the morning and hasn't come back yet," Lynn replied.
Blood got into my eyes and he ended up forcing me to close them.
"Well, someone should call to her mobile device, if she is with a doctor she will tell us what to do while the emergency team arrives, I can offer help but the trauma branch is not my specialty," that was Lisa, without a doubt.
They are all so worried.
I intended to escape their lives and keep them away from problems, but now I was not only the problem left; If I were to die there my death could turn into a nightmare that would torment them for the rest of their lives.
I'm sorry ... I'm so sorry...
"Girls…"
But, if this could be the last time they would see me, I was not going to leave without telling the truth to you and them.
You see ... The experiment never affected how I saw my sisters ... Lisa did not give me any inhibitors that could blind my reasoning. What I felt then, and now, was always there for them, I just needed a little push to realize what my true feelings were... Lucy was the one who made the push.
A spark of energy was still active in my body, and I wasn't going to waste it.
"You all are so important to m..." I breathed with effort. "I... I love you..."