Chapter Eleven
October came and went for Lavinia, and she was certain that her wretched life as Sir Richard Carlisle's wife would never allow her any happiness. Since their night they had shocked the Crawleys, Richard had been more attentive in his efforts to conceive an heir and Lavinia found herself exhausted with his attempts. But it was now November, and her courses were late. Just the thought of carrying that monster's child made her fearful. Could she be pregnant? She had no-one that she could turn to about it. Her own mother was long dead, and she had no aunts or female relations who she could ask for advice. And she didn't want to turn to the Crawleys because they must surely despise her for Richard's games.
No-one had ever told her what to expect about marital relations, though her father had tried, and the conversation had been very awkward for both of them. She had absolutely no-one that she could turn to about pregnancy, what she should do or not do regarding it, how to be a mother nor the experience of childbirth. Not that many women would willingly or openly discuss such matters.
But here she was, sitting at the hospital in Downton village, looking at Dr. Clarkson expectantly.
"Lady Carlisle, you are about six weeks pregnant. Congratulations." The doctor stated.
But Lavinia didn't smile. If anything, it only made her feel more scared and trapped by her husband.
"Dr. Clarkson…your earlier advice to me…back when I was recovering from the flu…"
The doctor nodded.
"And my advice still stands. You are still suffering with the aftereffects of the flu, Lady Carlisle. Your heartbeat is irregular, and you struggle to walk long distances and to catch your breath easily. My concern is that, despite being young, any pregnancy might take it's toll on your body." Dr. Clarkson confirmed.
Lavinia nodded.
This was something she had told no-one and another reason why she had broken her engagement to Matthew Crawley. Of course, the primary reason for doing so was because she wanted Matthew to be happy and have a long life with Mary, surrounded by lots of children. The flu had taken a devastating toll on her and even six months on from becoming ill with the disease, she was still recovering. It had never been her intention to marry so quickly, let alone conceive a child, but she found herself in an impossible situation.
"What is the likelihood…of my death in birthing the child?" she asked meekly.
"I can't give you a definite answer, Lady Carlisle," The doctor said apologetically, "Worst case scenario that a few of my colleagues have seen is the strain is too great on the mother's body during the delivery of the child. In some cases, there have been deaths due to the aftereffects of the flu. But some recover."
She nodded again, taking in the information that she was being told.
"D-do you have to inform my husband? Of my condition?" Lavinia asked nervously.
Dr. Clarkson shook his head.
"No, Lady Carlisle. Whatever we discuss is strictly confidential. Your husband need never know should you not wish him to. But I would advise that he should be made aware just in case things don't go smoothly." Dr. Clarkson replied.
"And given that you can't give me a definite answer on my earlier question, can you give me any definite answers as to if this pregnancy will go smoothly or not?" Lavinia questioned.
Again, the doctor shook his head.
"I'm afraid I cannot," Dr. Clarkson replied apologetically, "I shall have to see you each month just to stay cautious and to monitor both you and the baby. And when the time nears for the baby to be born, we may have to discuss a caesarean section if I assess that natural childbirth is too dangerous for you."
"Thank you, Dr. Clarkson." Lavinia said quietly.
She stood from her seat and left the hospital, heading outside to where the car sat waiting for her. she climbed into it and instructed the driver to return her to Haxby and as the car drove off, she began to silently think of the things that she must put into place should the worst happen. She would need to tell her husband about the baby, there was only so long before she would be showing, and it would be impossible to hide. But she didn't want Richard to know of her ill-health.
And if the worst…if she should die giving birth to her child…then she wanted Sir Richard to be left with nothing. Whilst she was unsure what Sir Richard's plans were regarding the Crawleys and Downton Abbey, she was certain it was a revenge plot of some sort. And then there was her father. If she died, her father would be left without someone to inherit his estate. Her father wasn't as rich as Sir Richard, but he was quite careful with his money since the man had his debts wiped off. A significant fortune which would allow her to live comfortably for the rest of her days if she weren't married to a rich newspaper man. And she knew that if she did die in childbirth and the child lived, her father would leave all his fortune to her child, but she didn't want that either. She knew that if her child inherited everything her father had, Sir Richard would only use it for his own gains.
When the car pulled into the Haxby drive, Lavinia smiled to herself as a thought instantly occurred to her. She climbed out of the car and retired to her sitting room for a cup of tea as she began to think through the idea that she had and just how she would be able to manage it. If she could manage it.
oOo
It had been an entire year since the war had ended and Matthew found himself remembering the horrors of war that he had witnessed. The battles that had seemed endless. The gunfire, the sound of screams, the feel of the mud, the sight of blood everywhere he looked…
And now he was back at Downton Abbey, with a beautiful wife who still lay sleeping in his arms. He looked down at his wife's sleeping form and stroked her back. She let out a happy sigh and her eyes fluttered open, smiling as she met his gaze.
"Good morning." Matthew whispered.
"Mmm, Good morning." Mary replied.
Matthew pressed his lips to hers and they shared a deep and needy kiss. As he rolled Mary on to her back and hovered over her, his chest pressing against hers, she winced in pain.
"Darling? I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" Matthew asked quickly.
"My breasts, they're sore, that's all." Mary winced.
Matthew leaned up slightly, placing a kiss to her chest delicately.
"Have you rung for Anna yet?" his wife questioned.
"Not yet. I thought we could make a good start to the day first." Matthew grinned.
Mary nodded her agreement, pulling him back down to her lips and they spent the next thirty minutes making a good start to the morning.
The thoughts of the war were pushed to the back of Matthew's mind as he focused on his wife. All the misery and suffering he had witnessed over four years were pushed aside as he tried to make some mental images of the life he could now have with Mary.
oOo
It was nearly time for afternoon tea when Sir Richard returned home to Haxby. Lavinia had hoped that he would choose to spend the weekend in London but alas, he had not. As he entered the sitting room, Lavinia put on her best smile and greeted him with a kiss to the cheek.
"Hello Richard, how was your week?" Lavinia asked politely.
"Rather dull. Meeting after meeting after meeting," Richard complained, "You could at least pour me a cup of tea!"
Lavinia nodded and went to the table where the tea tray stood. She poured him a cup and placed it on a saucer before handing it to him. She watched as he took a sip and smacked his lips as the liquid travelled down his throat.
"Much better," Richard smiled, "And how have you been in my absence, my dear?"
"Quite well. I've been contemplating which rooms I should decorate next." Lavinia smiled.
"Just make sure you have my approval before you spend money on wallpaper and rugs. It has to match the furniture that I've already bought for us to live here." Richard instructed.
Lavinia nodded, watching as he took another sip from his tea.
"So besides decorating the interiors, have you had anyone of significance visit? Have you visited anyone outside of Haxby?" Richard questioned.
She saw the look in his eyes, his cold steely eyes staring into hers and she gulped. It was a look that made her knees tremble in fright. She knew that she had to give him the correct answer and she knew that she was restricted by all his rules and regulations by being his wife. By doing what he expected of her and she would never, ever be allowed to fight against his authority or question him without punishment.
"I did have some visits, nobody of particular importance or consequence to helping you with your business prospects. But I did have to make one visit to Downton village." Lavinia answered truthfully.
"Oh? Did you have to see the Crawleys per chance?" Richard asked quickly.
"No. I had to see Dr. Clarkson."
"Why on earth would you need to see that old goat?"
"I've been feeling a little out of sorts and he confirmed so news that I'm happy to impart." Lavinia stated.
"Oh?" Richard asked carelessly.
She resisted the impatient feeling that wanted to rush through her and chastise him for his lack of interest. She knew that it would only make his temper flare if she went against his expectations. He placed his cup on a side table and looked at her expectantly.
"Dr. Clarkson has confirmed that I'm about six weeks pregnant with your child."
Richard's eyes lit up with glee, but it only made Lavinia feel uneasy. The glee in her husband's eyes was not the type of glee that she associated with pure joy and happiness. It was a type of glee that she thought was only possible if someone evil was about to get the next stage of their evil plot to be carried out.
"Well. That is some very good news." Richard mused.
"You're happy?" Lavinia asked uncertainly.
"Of course I'm happy. You're carrying my son and heir!" Richard replied boastfully.
She didn't see the benefit of asking what would happen if the baby turned out to be a girl and not the son he craved. Sir Richard Carlisle wouldn't even entertain the notion of having a daughter when boys were the only thing that mattered to him.
"I'm so glad you're happy!" Lavinia breathed.
She gave him a wide smile as he stood up and crossed the room to where she stood by the tea tray. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath as she felt his breath hit her cheek and his small lips pucker up to plant a light kiss to her cheek.
"This is most useful news, Lavinia. I think we should host a dinner and invite all the neighbours so that we can make an announcement." Richard stated.
Lavinia frowned.
From what she did know about pregnancy announcements, it was traditional for married couples to wait until they were three months into a pregnancy to safely announce the due date of their child to the world. It was still early in her pregnancy and with what she knew about her own health, it was quite likely that she could lose the child. But she kept her thoughts to herself on the matter.
"Are you sure, my dear? It's still early." Lavinia reminded him.
He glared at her, and she instantly closed her mouth without him commanding her to be quiet.
"Why shouldn't we? Lavinia, you are pregnant with my son and that shall do wonders for me! You have no idea just how good it will make me look to my rivals." Richard boasted.
"I know. I want you to share to the world just how soon we're expecting a child and I have no wish to stop you from having such joy in announcing the news. However, my concern is that I should feel like a failure should anything happen before it's safe to announce. I don't want to be a disappointment to you." Lavinia said quietly.
His expression softened slightly. Only slightly. Richard placed his hands on her stomach which made Lavinia tense as his hands smoothed over the area where in a few months her pregnancy would be visible to all the world.
"Very well, wife. I shall grant you this one request. I will wait a few more weeks until I decide to announce our news to the world. However, I expect you to make all the arrangements for the dinner and I will give you the list of guests to invite!" Richard instructed.
Lavinia nodded her agreement.
"A-are y-you planning on inviting the Crawleys to our announcement? They might not come." She said quietly.
Richard nodded.
"Of course. Why wouldn't I?" her husband questioned.
"It's just that…they might decline…" Lavinia answered uncertainly.
"Well then. It'll be up to you to ensure that they attend the dinner. I'm sure you could come up with a few little lies to ensure their attendance, can't you?" Richard questioned.
Again, Lavinia nodded her agreement and watched as Richard sat back down and finished the rest of his tea.