Why?
Because I am god. Because I can. Because I love you, Hatori.
The phone rings unceremoniously. My head-rush left me feeling weak before, when I excused Kureno, and escaladed to another of my headaches. I smile, relieved, when my dragon answers.
"Hello, Hatori." All rustling of papers ceases, and I know that I have your attention, as I should.
"Akito. What's wrong?" A doctor to the core! I hear the disguised annoyance at having to put everything aside, but you do anyway, for I am the patient you owe the most thought to.
"A headache. I want to you come, now." Even at the thought of a visit, some of the throbbing subsides.
"Any unusual symptoms? Do you just need the regular medications?"
"No, the same as always. Come, soon."
I hear you sigh, even though you're covering the mouthpiece. Why must you do things like that? "Do I have to go? I have so many other things I must to attend to before I can rest."
"I miss you, Hatori." Why, my quiet dragon, do you say things like that?
"I want to be finished somewhat early today, Akito. I'll settle for even on time."
"It hurts my feelings, to hear you say that." Say you're sorry, Hatori. Please.
"I wanted to go out for dinner tonight." Your voice sounds different. Almost…hopeful? Who are you, Hatori? Are you so changed in the short time I haven't seen you?
"With…someone?" Say no. I'm the only one that can give you hope, because I know how to keep you from transforming into something, or someone, else. Say no.
"Mayuko Shiraki. She is a friend of…she used to go out with Shigure."
And I grit my teeth, because in my heart, I know that she'll never be able to thaw out your soul. That is just a passing fancy, isn't it, my dragon?
Isn't it?
"Come now. It's getting worse. It has to be better before I meet with Hiro." I slam down the receiver, even though I can hear you start to say something. If you have anything to tell me, you can tell me in person, when you're here. That woman won't be able to affect you, when you're with me.
You bow respectfully, showing no sign of impatience. You've gotten good at that. To look at your eyes, I should think you have no soul at all.
I'm glad to know that that disgusting woman, Kana, an outsider with the Sohma name, took your emotions with her when she left.
"Come on, then, examine me. My head troubles me." You nod, silently, my stoic dragon. You are the one in the background. You are the one I can count on not to lose your temper with me.
So, you examine me. You move to draw away, to scribble illegibly on a piece of paper. Do all doctors do that? I wouldn't know. The only knowledge of another doctor I have is from literature of the outside.
You're the only doctor I will ever have. Are you irritated? You don't hate me, do you?
I grab for your hand, for I know that it is clean. You are always clean, and smell of pure, untouched snow. But now, you stink ofcologne, and it sickens me. Were you already preparing for your date, then?
"Yes, Akito?" I still hold your hand, sitting on the ground, with you kneeling before me.
So, I kiss you, for the feel of it, and because I am afraid that I'm losing you.
"Why?" Did you not know?
"Because I am god. Because I can. Because I love you, Hatori."
And I do.