"In peace may you leave the shore..."
— Marcus Kane, "Unity Day"
Abby woke the following morning nestled in Marcus' arms. His head was buried in the crook of her neck. His bandaged hand lay on her stomach. The medication she had given him left him in a deep sleep still, but his eyes were rimmed red from grief and she knew that he would need her at his side for the coming days.
Now, however, she had to pee. The baby was pressing on her bladder and she carefully untangled herself from Marcus and slid out of the bed. She slipped a robe on over her pajamas. She opened and closed the door silently behind her and bounded across the hallway to the bathroom.
Clarke met her in the hallway when she exited the bathroom. She said, "I'm taking Madi and Benja to the school for a football game. I thought you would want some time alone."
"Thank you," Abby said, with a sad smile.
Clarke asked, "How is he?" Abby just shrugged. "I'll ask Bellamy about the prisoner."
Abby said, "No. We have time with O'Donnell. Today is a day for healing, don't bother Bellamy."
Clarke nodded and headed toward the stairs. "We made breakfast."
"Thank you," Abby muttered.
She stood in the hallway for a few minutes, listening to the three kids leave. The front door shut softly behind them and she let out a breath. She walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. Two plates were on a tray, laden with eggs, pancakes, and porridge. Abby put the kettle on and prepared two mugs of chamomile tea.
She carried the tray slowly up the stairs and found the door to their bedroom ajar. She walked in and set the tray on the table by the bay window. She could hear the shower running and sat down in one of the chairs next to the table. She picked at the eggs, looked out the window at the birds in the tree outside. She tried not to think of anything, especially not the days ahead. They were going to be difficult enough without dwelling on them.
The shower shut off five minutes later. Abby's shoulders tensed as she waited for the bathroom door to open. She had no idea how Marcus was feeling and she didn't know how to help him because she couldn't imagine losing Clarke or Benja or Madi. She was certain that her heart would stop if she lost one of her children.
The bathroom door opened and the floorboards in the hallway creaked. Abby looked toward the bedroom door and Marcus walked in, a towel around his waist as he rubbed his wet hair with another. His face was paler than normal and, when he looked at the breakfast, he turned away. Abby watched as he walked over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of boxers. He dropped the towel and put them on. He walked over to her and sat down silently, looking out the window as he continued to dry his hair. Abby picked at the eggs. Marcus reached forward and dragged a mug of tea toward him. He sipped it as he continued to dry his hair. Abby was just happy that he was putting something into his stomach.
She finished her breakfast in silence and stood to take the tray away. Marcus placed his hand on hers to stop her. He whispered, "I'll take it."
"You should eat something," Abby said, but he shook his head.
He stood and draped the towel over the back of the chair. He reached for the tray, but stopped. He asked, "Where's my brace?"
Abby stood and grabbed it from the floor by his side of the bed. He sat back on the chair and Abby helped him secure it to his leg. He ran his hand over hers before standing up again. He grabbed the tray and walked out of the room.
Abby dressed for the day in loose shorts and a baggy t-shirt. Her growing stomach did not allow for her to wear her normal clothes anymore. She had borrowed some from Emori in the distribution center. She didn't like how they looked, but they were comfortable and that was all that mattered as she grew more tired by the day.
Marcus walked through the door again. He said, "The kids are gone."
"Clarke took them to the school," Abby replied, flattening the baggy shirt over her stomach. Marcus watched the movement, but didn't comment on her unease. He walked to the dresser and pulled out his own clothes for the day. He pulled the frayed jeans on and looked around for his belt. Abby pointed to the ottoman at the end of the bed. He nodded and put it on. She handed him a shirt and he pulled it on without a word. He turned from her to sit on the ottoman to put on his socks. Abby sat on the bed behind him and asked, "You're not leaving already are you?"
"I embarrassed myself last night," he muttered. "I need to clean up the mess I made."
"I can help," Abby said, but she knew he wouldn't let her. He stood up and kissed the top of her head. He said, "I'd rather do this on my own."
Kane stood in his ruined office. The glass crunched under his shoes as he walked across the scratched wooden floor. He pushed aside bits of canvas with the tip of his boot. He bent down to pick up the chair. He righted it and rolled it under the desk, the wheels pushing debris along. He looked up and found Rebecca's hat still on the surface. He gripped the edge of the desk and his head fell against his chest as he felt the tears well up again.
It's my fault she's dead, he thought. It should have been me. He was more upset with the leader of O'Donnell's people than O'Donnell himself. If only they had given him the order to kill Kane rather than make him suffer. Rebecca would be alive. She would be mourning, but she would be breathing. He wished more than anything to see her smile again.
A knock at the door forced Kane to focus on the now. He quickly wiped the tears away before saying, "Come in."
The door opened and Gwen stepped in. She shut the door silently behind her. She took one look around the room before walking further in. Kane stood up to his full height and said, "Gwen, I-"
She raised her hand to silence him. She opened her mouth a few times to speak but the words were failing her. He waited, unsure if he should comfort her or not.
"I want to apologize for my actions yesterday," Gwen said at last, staring at the floor in front of Kane's feet. "It was unacceptable."
Kane shook his head. "You had every right-"
"Marcus," Gwen interrupted, raising her eyes to meet his, "don't be nice. I said a lot of hurtful things. You were more of a father to her than Filip ever was. I could never admit it...after. I was so angry at you, but you saved Rebecca." Fat tears fell down her cheeks. "She was lost after her father was floated and you came along to make it all better. You made that difference, I didn't."
"I failed her, too," he replied quietly. He looked down at the hat on the desk. "I should have never let her join the patrols."
Gwen shook her head. "You know she wouldn't have sat by while others defended the city."
He sighed. "You're right, she was a fighter."
He could see the grief wash over her at his use of past tense. She sat down in the armchair nearest to her. He slowly walked over to her as she let herself grieve openly. He knew that she was strong, one of the strongest people he had ever met. He knew that she wouldn't let herself be open in front of the masses, only a select group of people. He was one of those people again. Kane knelt down in front of her and took her hand. She squeezed his hand tightly as her whole body shook. He waited, knowing that words would provide no comfort here - only his presence would.
After some time, Gwen wiped her tears and looked at him, keeping her hand firmly in his. She asked, "What happens next?"
He sighed. "I haven't planned that far ahead."
"I understand," she said, nodding. She ran her thumb over the back of his hand. "When can we bury her?"
"Tonight. Where?"
She thought for a moment. "By the lake? She ran there every morning."
He nodded. "I'll make the arrangements."
Gwen squeezed his hand. "Thank you, Marcus. For everything."
They gathered at Sunset Park as the sky turned bright orange. Rebecca and Justin's bodies lay next to two freshly dug holes in the earth. The waves lapped gently at the beach 5 meters away, providing a sense of calm for the somber occasion. Abby held Marcus' hand as Bryan Price spoke about the friendship he had with Justin Giles. She knew that what came after would be exceptionally hard on Marcus. When Bryan finished speaking, he and Jones Meikle hopped down into the hole and lowered Justin's body slowly, resting him in the dirt. They hopped out and muttered, "May we meet again," before joining the other members of the guard. The crowd held a moment of silence.
It was Rebecca's farewell next. Gwen stood with Gina, unable to say what she wanted to about her daughter. Gina spoke about her childhood friend and how growing up on Factory Station had been tough, but made easier by Rebecca's constant presence. Gwen held Rebecca's favorite knit hat tightly in her hands as Gina spoke. After, Gina lightly touched Gwen's arm and asked if she wanted to speak. Gwen just shook her head, staring down at the hat. Gina looked over to Kane who nodded. Abby released his hand as he walked over to the body. Jack Scanlan broke out from the crowd to join him. Together, they hopped down into the hole and laid Rebecca down. Gwen crouched down next to the hole and handed Marcus the hat. Scanlan helped him place it on Rebecca's head.
Scanlan was the first out of the hole and he helped Marcus out. He gripped Marcus' arm for a second longer than necessary before walking over to escort Gwen back to her spot in the crowd. Marcus walked over to Abby and she took him in her arms, squeezing him tightly. Clarke placed her hand on Marcus' arm while Benja and Madi wrapped themselves around him, too. For a moment, he felt at peace.