Why?

Because I am god. Because I can. Because I love you, Shigure.

There is blackness, pooling behind my eyes and dripping from my toes and I open my mouth to scream, for anyone, someone to get my out of this painful place.

And, to my surprise, the name I call is that of my faithful dog. Suddenly, there are brutal sticks under my neck and knees, and it hurts all the more. The hard, merciless ground drops away, and I'm flying, bourn ahead by the searing ache originating in my left cheek.

"Akito?" Your voice is deep, very close to my ear. My eyes flutter open when I recognize you as Shigure, my Shigure. Your arms are holding me, bridal-style, and I can't think clearly. The sticks are really your strong arms – unusual, for a novelist, I've always thought – and now I can remember Hatsuharu hitting me and falling unconscious.

"Shigure…" I can't use my own voice, it seems. My body hurts, from crashing to earth, and only now do I see that you're the picture of horror. "I think Hatsuharu hates me. And I completely didn't take my medicine. I gather you're worried?"

Your half-open mouth closes, and I can feel a mattress against my back. "He turned Black. It's…not that he hates you, as much as he can't control his temper. I'm sure he didn't mean to." I let out a tired chuckle, ending in more of a gasping wheeze. You don't leave, though, and that's a blessing; I need to talk to someone right now. I enjoy my conversations with you, my faithful dog, in particular, because you're by far the closest one to commiserating with me.

"I actually quite enjoyed it. He always didn't show me his feelings. Each one is separate from the other, you see. I want to know all thirteen of you, in time." I try to lift my hand, to find it unconsciously clasped by your much larger one.

"You mean the juunishi? Is that why you've been meeting with so many, in the last few days? It's taxing your health." I know it. But, why not, when you're always here to check up on me?

"Out of all of them, you're the one that doesn't hate me." I settle for my opposite hand, leaning overmuch toward you to brush your cheek. I wonder at that; you're always immaculately groomed, and smells only faintly of ink and paper. I like the scent, I imagine. At every opportunity, I try to catch more and more of it.

"That's only because-" I cut you off, falling near-limp out of bed and tumbling to the floor. I think I may have stretched myself too far to touch you. So be it; now you're cradling me desperately. I like touching you, actually. I don't terribly wish to snatch my hand away.

"Apologies. I can't even manage to stay in bed, at this rate…" and I blindly attempt to stand, or at least drag myself back onto the divan with so many pillows. It takes me a moment to comprehend that instead of helping me, you've instead maneuvered to press your lips against mine.

Foolhardy, I decide to act along, and close my eyes. It's a curious thing; no one has ever kissed me before, instead waiting to follow my lead. As you deepen it, I respond with alacrity; I might yet be relishing this kiss more than any time spent with Yuki.

And it's over all too soon.

"Why?" This time I am the one asking.

"Because you are god. Because I wanted to. Because I love you, Akito."