They huddle up again, and Phil said to James, "Okay, this play, I want you to do a down and out to the right. Okay. Break!"

Keely, shocked she didn't get an assignment chased after Phil and said, "Wait! What am I gonna do?"
"You, you go long." Phil said

"Okay. Wait, how long?" Keely asked

"Until we start to look very small."

"Okay."

"Break."

On the other side of the park, Dana's team has the ball.

"Set…hike!" Brad said

"One-Mississippi, two-Mississippi, switch! Switch! Switch!" Phil yelled
"No, no, no, no, no!" James said
At the other end of the park, is Dana and Phil looking impatient because everyone else is talking.

"Come on guys! Let's go! Come on, it's second down." Dana said

"Uh, hello, it's third down." Phil said

"No it's not, it's second."
"Wow…!"

"Wow, what?

"It just amazes me that your still pulling stuff like this."
"Pulling what? It's second down."

"Okay, it's second down." He said as he turned to walk away, "Take all the second downs you need."

"I heard that!"

"Well, I said it loud,"

Phil returned to his side of the park with Keely and James.

James was staring at the opposite end of the park where Via, Brad, and Dana were. Even though there was about a seven year age difference between he and Dana, he still admired her from afar. (A/N: I know you're all thinking, 'Eew! Right? LOL well, James and Via are younger than Phil and Keely, by like…a lot because otherwise that would be totally gross, so please just go along with it:P)

He didn't want to admit it, be he and Via never really had a spark between them, and he also wouldn't admit he was massively envious of Brad.

"James, I want you to run a post pattern to the left, okay. And sweetie…" Phil said

"Yeah I know, go long. Y'know, it's like all I'm doing is running back and forth from the huddle." Keely said.

"Well ah, you wanna just stay out there?"
"Can I see that for second?" Keely asked nodding at the football

"Sure." he said, holding it out to her.

Keely took the football and bounces it off Phil's forehead, and James caught the rebound.
"Okay. Hut! Hike!" Phil yelled.

James ran around behind Phil, who pitched him the ball. James ran upfield, and Brad knocked the ball out of his hands, then said, "Fumble!"

Brad started to return the fumble as James grabbed Brad's shirt and ripped it off of his back.
"What the hell's the matter with you! This is my favorite jersey."

"Well now you have two." James said
"Alright, what is going on with you? You've been staring at me like Norman Bates the entire game, and now this! I don't know why, but something tells me this has to do with Dana…"

"No…yeah…well, you aren't good enough for her,"

"Well, at least I'm close to her age and not married."

"Well, I think beating you at this would impress her, so you should seriously back down."

"I could back down and still beat you. Prepare to feel very bad about yourself."
"Hey! Well, I've been preparing for that my entire life! Or something about you that's mean!"

"All right, come on guys, let's go! Tie score, and we're runnin' out of time. Forty-two! Thirty-eight! Hike!" Dana said

The timer sounded as Dana threw the ball to Via.
"Oh I got it!" She shouted as she caught the ball, "Oh! Ew! Broken boob! Ow!"
"Via, run!" Brad yelled

"Run, Via, run!" Dana yelled

Via ran and scored a touchdown.

"Touchdown! Touchdown!" Via yelled
"Uh, hello, the buzzer buzzed. It doesn't count." Phil said
"After the snap!" Dana snapped
"Before the snap!" Phil argued
"After!" Brad yelled

"Before!" James chimed in
"Now, does it really matter?" Keely asked

Everyone yells at her, "Yes!"
"Well, okay, I made a touchdown. It was my first touchdown. So?" Via said

"Via that's great, doesn't count."

"Does so count!" Dana argued

"Okay, okay, fine, fine! Alright, you wanna win by cheating, go ahead, all right. Via, the touchdown does count, you win."

"Woo-yay!" Via said

"No! Listen, I'm not gonna go through this with you again, okay. Just once I wanna beat when you can't blame it on the broken nose, the buzzer, or the fact that you thought you might be getting mono. Let's just call this, tie score and it's halftime." Dana resolved
"Okay, first of all, I don't play with cheaters, and second of all, you know I had swollen glands!" Phil stated.

They return to the park for the second half of the game after halftime at the house.

"Come on Via, let's go! Come on, it's time to get serious, huddle up. Brad, keep your head in the game." Dana said
"It's hard, y'know, I have to keep an eye on him," Brad said

"Why…?"

"It's…a long story, and for the best, don't ask."

"Alright look, if I take James out of the running will you be able to focus?"
"What are you gonna do?"
"Alright, you just make sure that James catches the ball, I'll take care of the rest."
"Okay."

"Break!"
They all assemble to play.

"Here you go!" Brad said as he threw the ball to James.
"James! James!" Phil yelled, as James caught the ball and started running upfield.

James sashayed by Keely and said, "Hi,"

Just as he got in front Keely, Dana comes up and tackles him.

"Whoa, tackled by a girl! Bet ya don't see that everyday." Dana said

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's with the tackling?" Phil asked

"What! I just touched him and he went over!" Dana said

"Okay, you wanna play rough, we can play rough."

(They both stare each other down as we hear 'Let's get ready to r-r-r-rum-ble!' the famous line by Michael Buffer, followed by Get Ready For This by "2 Unlimited.") lol

(A long football sequence follows.)

Sequence 1: Dana throws the ball accidentally over Brad's head to James who catches it for a touchdown, and starts to dance in celebration. Brad then tackles him, and he starts to dance in celebration.

Sequence 2: Dana runs upfield and stops, waiting for a pass. Phil runs over and pulls her pants down, steps in front of her and intercepts the pass.

Sequence 3: James throws a pass to Phil, who catches it. Via starts screaming and runs up to him and tries to tackle him. But all she ends up doing is running around his waist and screaming.

Sequence 4: Phil hikes the ball to James, and Keely is standing deep in the end zone, playing with her gum. Something hits her on the head and she looks up to see where it came from.

Sequence 5: Dana hands the ball off to Via, who runs upfield and delivers a fore-arm shiver to James, knocking him over and scores the touchdown, and she yells…

"I love this game!"

On her side of the field Dana stands a bit of a distance from Phil and sings, "Forty-two to twenty-one, like the Turkey, Dad is done!"

"It's no surprise that your winning, 'cause you got to pick first, so you got the better team." Phil said
"You're so pathetic! Why can't you just accept it, we're winning because I'm better than you." Dana answered
Phil made a 'Yeah. Right.' sound
"Oh, what a great argument, exhaling! Alright, y'know what, I'll prove it to you, okay. I'll trade you Brad for Mom, and I'll still win the game."

"Oh that's great, there goes my last thread of self esteem." Keely said

"What! The guys against the girls? See, that's ridiculous Dana, because I'm only down by three touchdowns."
"Oh, then bring it on! Oh, unless of course your afraid you might lose to a bunch of girls."
"Fine, fine, Keely you're with Dana, Brad, you're with me."
"I can not believe your trading me!" Keely shouted
"Come on Mom, let's see what's it like to be on a winning team for a change."
"Are you gonna let me play?" Keely asked
"All right then." Dana said, changing the subject.

At the opposite side of the park the guys are in a huddle, Phil says, "The clock is ticking. We have no time, and we are losing, we are losing to girls."
"We're not gonna lose to girls." James said
"Hey! It's 42-21!" Phil said in defense of his argument
"This sucks, I was just up by that much!" Brad said
"Are we playing football or what? Come on you hairy-backed Marries!" Dana said

A/N: Okay, actually, it'll be three chapters because this is a long one shot, and I don't want the scroll bar to be one centimeter thin, haha. Oh, and I used a few more lines from the show than I planned to so most of the dialogue credit goes to Ira Ungerleider, one of the writers for 'Friends', I am not a plagiarist, lol. Okay, next chapter of the one shot in few seconds, LOL

--Britannia--