Why?
Because I am god. Because I can. Because I love you, Isuzu.
"Are you well?" I ask slowly. You set your jaw, defiantly, and don't answer. "I've been told that you suffer from recurring bouts of disease."
"Like you care," I hear you mumble under your breath, as your gaze slides off me to settle to my right. So feisty, this early in the morning?
Your hair is down, contrasting the pale skin of your face but perfectly matching your eyes. Oh, my defiant horse, you're not able to cover your emotions. I can read you like an open book, as ever.
Do you remember when you were as quiet as my dear Kisa? Shying away from any child but the other juunishi. You…changed. I allowed you to go to public school, for a time.
It filled your pretty head with empty chances and pipe dreams.
You became interested in Hatsuharu, contriving to steal him from under my roof. I couldn't bear it. I had to punish you, to hope that it would keep you as my sweet, silent little girl. I had learned my lesson in that; too much freedom ruined a body. I cannot number all of my rules you have broken since, but the ones you haven't could be held in my hand.
Afterward, you were no longer innocent.
The path you had chosen would have led you to destruction, Isuzu. As well as my Hatsuharu, stupid enough as he is to follow willingly, eagerly even. You seduced my thickheaded ox. Are you proud of yourself?
"I haven't forgiven you." I am dragged from my reverie and consideration of you at the sound of your petulant voice. I don't have the right words, at first. I blink at you, but you still look far away. I feel ignored, briefly. It is not your place to put me in mine, my defiant horse.
"For saving you, Isuzu?" I actually try to pour all of my thoughts and memories of you into that name. My reward is a disbelieving snort.
"You nearly killed me, you bastard." Do you see what the outside has done to you? You are no longer one of the God-fearing servants. I have been robbed of my beloved, caring horse of your youth.
"You certainly would have killed yourself. I couldn't abide that. The people I love will always be…protected."
"From who?" you scream, standing now, fire burning in the windows that are your eyes, "Who would even think about hurting us, all of us? The ones that don't know don't care, and the ones that do won't tempt your wrath!"
"Silence." Such a simple word. You are trembling with rage before me, breathing hard. Perhaps you are not totally healed? Or, is it instead with fear?
"Isuzu…Rin. I will protect you from the very world, if it wants to harm you. It doesn't." I stand up, taller than you, and hold your soft cheeks in my hands. You feel very warm. "I was protecting you from yourself. It seems that, in the end, I was also protecting my Hatsuharu at the same time."
Your eyes widen. All you can manage is a whisper. "Haru…what did he say?"
I chuckle. My skin is crawling at the touch of yours, and I can almost feel the contagions rushing down my throat, but I hug you. To do more would be suicide. You are, in the end, feverish.
"I am the only one allowed to love you, Isuzu. Remember it well."
And I can see it in your eyes. Somewhere, you love me back.
And then you faint.