John Sheppard walked the corridors of Atlantis, barely noticing the world around him. There were things that needed to be done. Things someone had to take care of. The city still needed to be run by someone, even if the person who had been in charge for so long, the person they had all relied on, the person they had trusted with their lives and had given their lives for if necessary was never to return.
It took him all the strength that was still left in him now to keep going, to keep functioning. The only reasons he could do this were, first, because someone had to, and he was in charge until a new leader was assigned to them, and second, because he knew that was what she would have wanted him to do. She wouldn't have wanted him to bury himself in his quarters, drowning in his grief. So he forced himself to do what was necessary, to run the city, even to pass out words of comfort to others who were struck by her death.
He kept going. Like he had all this time. Like he had the last four days, since they had learned of her death. For everyone who needed him now. Yet it was nothing but a facade. He had died inside. He was empty. All he could feel was numbness, emptiness, and in the silent hours of the night, when he was lying in his bed, unable to find sleep, pain and despair. And regret. Regret for everything he hadn't said while he still could. Now it was too late. He would never get another chance to tell her how he felt.
They had made contact with the Aldalarians again, telling them they wanted to examine the explosion site and try to find something they could bury. The Aldalarians had made no objections to this and he had sent a team. He couldn't muster the strength to go himself. He had seen the place where she had died once, he didn't need to see it again.
The team had been there three days now. The place was quite a mess. There wasn't much to be found. They had confirmed that there had been six people in the building when it exploded, but there really wasn't much left of their bodies. Not even enough to identify them. There was hardly enough left to run a proper DNA test. They would probably end up burying empty coffins. Still they remained on the planet as long the Aldalarians let them stay, at least hoping to be able to find out what exactly had happened here. It wouldn't bring their friends back, but at least they would know how they had died.
John walked into the control room, silently greeting Rodney, who was working on some controls, with a nod of his head. The scientist also looked like he hadn't slept in days and he had been rather quiet lately, which was unusual for him. The team on Aldalaria was due to contact them over the radio in a few minutes, telling them about their progress. They dialed in every five hours to tell them how things were going at the explosion site. John always dreaded those moments. He didn't want the constant reminder of what had happened four days ago.
When the gate started to activate he closed his eyes for a moment, gathering all his strength, preparing to hear more about how their body parts were scattered all over the area, how they couldn't determine who was who. The first day, they had found a slight trace of hope. A hatch in the ground, leading to an underground tunnel that led straight to the mountains. But it had been a brief flare of hope. The hatch had been locked from outside. No one had escaped that way. And they had found six bodies. The Aldalarian scientist and Dr Weir and Lorne's team.
The gate activated and he heard Bates' voice over the radio. "Colonel, we can stop the examination of the place. We're ready to return to the city."
John frowned. "Did something happen over there, Sergeant?"
"Something." Bates confirmed. "You'll see in a minute."
"Okay, come through." John exchanged a confused glance with Rodney and made his way down the stairs to the gate to meet Bates and the rest of the team.
One of the men just stepped out of the gate by the time he reached the bottom of the stairs. A second followed.
And then ... John stood rooted to the spot suddenly, while he stared open mouthed at the third person who had stepped out of the event horizon. "Lorne?" he asked disbelieving.
The Major nodded and grinned at him broadly.
Someone else stepped out of the gate. John felt his heart stop for a moment, while his whole world narrowed down to the sight of this one person, that face he thought he would never in his life see again.
He slowly walked up to her, not quite believing what he saw. "Elizabeth?" he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.
She smiled at him, raising one eyebrow. "I guess we're late, this time."
He stood right in front of her, staring at her, unable to say anything, trying to convince himself that this wasn't a dream, that she was really here.
"You're not dead?" he finally managed to ask.
She shook her head. "It was close, but an old friend was there to help us. This will probably be a long debriefing."
He smiled back at her. Then, suddenly, he pulled her into his arms, holding her as tight as possible, and not caring who was watching, buried his face in her hair.
He had her back.
----------
"Well, considering what you've been through, you're in perfect health." Carson said, smiling at Elizabeth.
"Good." She got up and headed for the door.
"Hey. Where do you think you're going?" He asked, blocking her way.
"Um ... my office?" she answered "Didn't you just say I was okay?"
Carson sighed "Aye, for someone who has been held hostage for weeks and was thought to be dead, you are. You're still staying in the infirmary for at least one night!"
"But I feel fine!" Elizabeth objected.
"Hey." John entered the infirmary, smiling at Elizabeth. "Is there a problem?" the question was directed at Carson.
Carson saw how Elizabeth's face lighted up as her eyes fell on John. And he had seen what Sheppard was like the time she had been missing. He figured these two had probably a lot to talk about.
He turned to look at the Colonel. "Maybe you can explain to her that she needs to spend at least this one night here in the infirmary. I'm going to check on my other patients." he said and with a smile he walked off in the direction of Lorne and the rest of the team.
John and Elizabeth smiled at each other awkwardly.
"So, how're you feeling?" he finally asked.
She smiled. "A little tired, but otherwise fine."
She sat down on the infirmary bed. "How are things here? Did anything happen while I was gone?"
He walked up to her and sat down beside her. "Not much. We spent most of the time searching for you." He paused a moment before saying in a low voice "I thought you were dead."
She met his eyes and in them she saw all he had been through during the last weeks, all the sorrow and despair he had felt. And she saw something else there. Something she had never even dared to hope for.
She looked down at her hands. "Ford says hello." she said, smiling. "He was the one who helped us escape."
"He did?" she heard the excitement in his voice "How? What happened anyway? We saw the destroyed building, everyone said you had been inside, there was a hatch, but it was locked from the outside..." he saw the fatigue in her face and added "If you're too tired to talk now, I'll let you sleep. You've been through a lot and I don't wanna keep you from sleeping with my questions..."
He jumped off the bed, ready to leave, but she took his hand and looked at him, a soft smile on her lips. "No." she said. "Stay. I'm not that tired."
He nodded. He didn't want to leave. He didn't want to leave her side ever again. He wanted to be close to her, see her. He needed to know she was really here.
He sat down again and she began to tell him the whole story of what had happened to them, how they had been ambushed and been taken to the Aldalarian home world, where they had spent all those weeks in a dark small cell, waiting for the wraith to show up.
She told him about how Ford had shown up and helped them escape, and she grinned as she saw how that part of the story brought a small smile to his face.
At last she came to the part where they had tried to get back home and the Aldalarians had suddenly shown up, shutting the gate down, forcing them to carry out plan B.
"You found that hatch, didn't you?" she asked, and as he nodded continued "Cadell, the scientist who owned that cabin, was known for his dangerous experiments. Everyone suspected he would one day blow up his place. That was what we counted on. It was supposed to look like an accident. Like someone had knocked something over which blew the place up."
"It was quite convincing!" he assured her "We certainly thought you were dead. So how did you make it out?"
She smiled. "The hatch. The underground tunnel."
He looked at her, confused. "It was locked."
She nodded, her face turning sad for a moment. "Cadell locked it after we were through. He stayed behind. He sacrificed himself to save us."
He took her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers. "I wish I could thank him for doing that." he whispered.
They were silent for a moment. "The bodies." he finally said "They found six bodies."
"One was Cadell's, of course." she said "The others were the bodies of five people from a distant village who had died in a fight against the wraith worshipers a few days ago. They belonged to the resistance as well." She looked up at him. "We promised Cadell we would do what we can to support them. To help them. We thought that was the least we could do. One day, when they are in trouble, they may contact us and ask for support."
He smiled at her. "They saved your life. I will do anything to support them."
She gently squeezed his hand, smiling back at him, when Carson returned.
"You seriously need to get some rest, love." he addressed Elizabeth. "Don't make me sedate you." The return of the missing had obviously put him in a very good mood, as it had the rest of the city.
Elizabeth sighed. "Okay then, I have to admit, I feel like I could need some sleep."
Carson smiled at her. "One good night's sleep and tomorrow you can return to your quarters." He looked at John "By the way, you should also get some sleep. You need it."
"Alright." John jumped off the bed, turning back to Elizabeth. Carson left to let them say goodnight in private.
Elizabeth lay down on the infirmary bed, feeling suddenly very exhausted. She hadn't really slept in days. She was just so happy to be back that she found it hard to calm down enough to focus on sleeping. Besides, she hadn't want John to leave. It felt so good being near him again.
Now he stood beside her bed, smiling down on her, his hand gently brushing away a strand of hair from her face.
"Good night, 'Lizabeth." he whispered.
"Good night, John." she answered and closed her eyes as he bent down to place a light kiss on her forehead. When she opened her eyes after a while he was gone. But when she slowly drifted off to sleep she still saw his face smiling at her and she could still feel the soft touch of his lips.
----------
When he walked into the infirmary the next day, Carson had already released her.
"She wanted to get out of here as quickly as possible." he informed John "She barely gave me time to check her over again. If you see her, tell her she isn't supposed to be working again for at least two weeks."
John grinned broadly. "Tell her yourself. Never heard of that whole killing the messenger thing?"
He turned around and headed down the hallway. He already had a pretty good idea where he might find Elizabeth.
----------
She heard the doors of the balcony slide open and instantly knew who it was.
He stepped up to her, placing his hands on the railing. "Good morning." he said.
"Morning, John." she answered. She had hoped he would join her here. Like he had so often before. She had missed this place. She had missed being here with him.
He looked at her, standing here on their balcony, arms folded, the wind playing with her hair. She was so beautiful. And their was so much he needed to tell her. He had thought she was dead. He had thought he had lost her. That he would never see her again. And now she was back. He had got a second chance. He wasn't gonna waste it.
"I missed you." he said.
She turned around to him. "I missed you two." She was smiling. God, he had missed this smile, this smile of hers that lit up her entire face and made his heart skip a few beats.
"I will never again let you go off world without me!" he declared, taking his hands off the railing and also turning around to her.
"You couldn't have done anything." she stated.
"Not my point." he said.
She simply raised an eyebrow. "So what is your point?"
He looked right into her eyes, a serious expression on his face. "Had I been there, I would at least have known you were okay. I would have been with you. Being here, not able to do anything, not knowing if I would ever see you again..." he moved closer to her, close enough that she could feel the warmth radiating from his body. "I thought I'd lost you!" he whispered.
She moved one step closer to him, so that their bodies were almost touching. She saw the love in his eyes and a wave of emotion rushed through her. "There were times while I was back there in that cell, when I also thought I'd never see you again." she told him. She remembered how she had seen his face back then, heard his voice telling her to be strong, how the thought of him had kept her going. One day she would tell him about it.
But now she closed her eyes, as he brought his face close to hers, his arms sliding around her back, pulling her closer to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck as his lips softly brushed against hers. The kiss was slow and full of tenderness, a careful first exploring of feelings that for so long had been hidden beneath the surface.
They finally had to breathe, but they kept their arms firmly wrapped around each other, neither of them wanting to let go ever again.
At last he brought one hand up and softly caressed her face. Their eyes met.
"I love you, Elizabeth." he whispered.
"I love you, too, John." she whispered back.
Their lips met again, more passionately this time. They both knew their lives were going to be a lot more complicated from now on, but they also knew that this was the beginning of something wonderful.