Again, Once More
SPOILER ALERT!
I will warn you all, right now, I don't live in Canada. I'm stuck in the US, with The-N; my guess on the actual happenings of these two episodes (Our Lips Are Sealed 1&2) are as good as any other non-Canadian.
I apologize in advance if my writing isn't accurate. I've read spoilers and episode summaries. I'm writing this to get the episodes out of my head (knowing The-N, I won't see this until summer... ).
Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or CTV. I'm just a poor fan(atic).
Chapter 2) Dinnertime is the Worst Time
Dinnertime, Emma's newly disliked time, was fast approaching. She sighed softly. Since her hospitalization, the family watched her every movement. Except Jack, of course. After dinner the family would gather in the living room for some "bonding" time. Emma chuckled darkly at the very thought. More like, "make sure Emma isn't purging" time, Emma was far from stupid; she knew full well what her parents were thinking.
This only made all the better at hiding this. Emma winced slightly; she really wished this disease had never happened. She sighed once more. Looking back, she realized that everything that happened, the shooting, her flirtation with the dark side, and the gonorrhea episode, merely built up to this. When had everything fallen apart? Emma felt like a derailed train. Destination, nowhere.
"Emma, Manny, dinner!" Emma stood up, ignoring her discomfort. Even with the dizziness and the constant headaches, Emma felt relieved in a sense. Control, she was in absolute control. All she had to do was keep this a secret. This time she wouldn't fail.
A sudden knock, interrupted Emma's previous train of thought.
"Emma?" called Christine, voice laced with a hint of concern. She clears her throat, glides up the stairs, and opens the door. She can't forget the award winning smile.
"Yes?" Good, act confused; pretend you didn't hear her.
What on earth? Emma had to mentally shake herself. That wasn't her thought. Was it? Christine smiled softly. Emma seemed to be feeling better about herself. Her cheeks were a rosy red, healthy. Seeing her daughter in that kind of pain had hurt her. Christine didn't understand why Emma felt a need to starve herself to feel good. Anorexia and bulimia hadn't been well known in the 1980's.
"Emma, it's time for dinner; I made sushi." This time Emma smiled for real. Sushi had, like, no calories. Her mom had been making a large variety of foods for mealtimes. Perhaps to coax Emma into eating?
"Mom, where's Manny?" asked Emma on the way to the dining room. Christine shot a confused look at her daughter.
"What do you mean? She's been home since four." Emma nodded silently. Ah, right. She had been exercising. Since running seemed out of the question (according to her parents and her therapist), Emma had taken to doing aerobics in her room with loud music playing. She also listened to her Discman, where artists, such as Silverchair, Radiohead, and Manic Street Preachers, belted out tunes about eating disorders. The music from her stereo served to quell the other's worries. No one would believe she was well if they heard the new music that she was into.
"Never mind, Mom, just temporary amnesia," Emma reassured her mother. Smile This time, she was too lost in her own thoughts to notice the voice. I wonder, thought Emma, if Ellie listened to music about self mutilation when she was cutting… Ellie's cutting and Emma's eating disorder was not a secret at Degrassi… There really aren't any secrets at the school.
Dinner was promptly served at six, every evening. The regular mealtimes were a new occurrence. The older kids and adults sat in their places, serving themselves portion of the oriental meal, while Jack happily dined on a more toddler-friendly version of the meal. Mr. Simpson watched his step-daughter pick at her food cautiously, while the other nearly wolfed her serving down.
"Some vegetarian sushi, Emmers?" Manny burst into hysterical giggles at Snake's friendly jibe. Emma merely cracked a smile. She stared at the plate almost forlornly; Snake had taken the time to make her something special. She felt almost obligated to eat some. Hesitantly, as if the plate would bite her, she snagged a few pieces of sushi with her chopsticks.
"Of course, Archie-ball!" Emma and Manny both cackled with laughter at Emma's response. Did her laugh sound forced? Emma sincerely hoped not. The meal progressed, much to slowly, according to Emma. Although she had gotten better at hiding her food, she still had to eat a few bites to keep suspicion low.
Eventually dinner did come to an end. Emma quickly grabbed her plate and cup; she had to discard any evidence that could be used against her, against her "control". She placed her napkins (which were full of uneaten food) in the trash bin and proceeded to rinse off her remaining dishes. She deliberately took her time with her glass. Earlier, she had purposely grabbed a tinted glass. It was very easy to spit unwanted food particles into the cup without detection.
"Thanks for the help, Emma." Emma smiled thinly at her mother. Spike merely thought Emma was just trying to help out; she had no idea why her daughter was really being so helpful. Its better this way, thought Emma sadly. Again with the lies.
"No problem, Mom." And to Spike, there was no problem. Emma was determined to keep it this way. She had to.
The family bonding went by without a problem. They had played monopoly. Unfortunately, Emma had gone bankrupt within the first ten minutes. Her thought were focused elsewhere especially not on a child's game. She had to burn 120 calories. That was about an hours run, but she would have to settle with rushed sit-ups during Manny's shower.
The evening quickly gave way to the night. Emma and Manny's bedtime had long since past, but neither had acknowledged the fact. Manny had a plethora of books and overdue assignments; the cheer squad and family obligations had really taken a toll on her academic success. Emma, unbeknownst to Manny, occupied herself with a large book. Page after page were filled with what Emma referred to as "thinspo", guidelines and rules about her disease.
The internet had turned out to be a valuable source of information about her eating disorder. Sites dubbed "Pro-Ana" and "Pro-Mia" gave many helpful tips and tricks about everything and anything to do with the subject. It was really interesting; these sites inspired Emma to the absolute best that she could.
"Emma?" Manny called from behind the curtain. Emma sat up, and quickly hid her complex food journal in her wooden lockbox. After securely locking the box, Emma responded to Manny inquiry.
"Yeah?"
"I'm going to turn the light off; is that okay?" Short and brief, exactly what she deserved, reasoned Emma. Even if Manny would die for her, Manny wasn't too pleased with Emma's relationship with Peter Stone.
"Yeah, that's fine." Emma smiled happily. She could finish her sit ups after Manny fell asleep. This was turning out to be easier than she had expected. Who knew hiding an eating disorder was so easy?
Well, there's chapter 2; I hope you all enjoyed it I also hope that it was better than the last. I have to go help with dinner so enjoy! Reviews are good.