Why?

Because I am god. Because I can. Because I love you, Ritsu.

"Akito-sama, I have come…" you volunteer, standing in the doorway. My eyes open quickly and stare at you for a full minute. You fiddle nervously with your deep blue obi.

I turn away and snort, "You're dressed as a girl again, my anxious monkey."

You look horrified at having displeased me, and cry loudly, "No! I'll take it off right now if you want me to!" The obi is already half untied before you notice that I'm laughing. "A-Akito-sama?" You start trying to fix your clothes.

I stand and walked quietly over to you, walking around behind. My hands cover and still your fumbling ones and you jump slightly. "Ritsu, let me help you with that." I deftly fasten it and move back half a step. Thinking of Ayame, I ask suddenly, "Do you love me?"

Taking shallow breaths, you lick you lips and say, "Of course I do…"

My fingers grasp your wrist lightly. You refuse to look at me. I demand, "As more than your god?"

Your wrist, beneath my hand, begins to shake. I see you swallow, but you say nothing, preferring to stare straight ahead.

My grip tightens painfully. "Answer me."

Your squeeze your eyes shut and take a deep , shuddering breath. "I don't want to."

"I need to know," I continued, becoming frustrated.

"Don't raise your voice…don't get mad at me…" you whimper, sinking to your knees. I don't let your wrist go, and you are forced to keep it up in the air, though the angle of your arm seems excruciating. I didn't care. You're too weak, my timid monkey.

"Why are you doing that?" I yelled, shaking the arm I held. A gasping sob escapes you.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I can't do anything right! I'm sorry…this lowly creature begs a god's forgiveness…Akito-sama, I beg forgiveness…don't be angry…" You slowly turn to me, tears streaming down your face. "Don't make me answer that, Akito-sama…I love you, isn't that enough?"

I narrow my eyes and sneer, "As I love you, Ritsu, but how could a lowly creature like you ever satisfy a god?"

"I'm sorry! Don't do that!" You cry out sharply. "You're hurting me!"

I drop your wrist and push you onto your back none to gently. "Why are you crying? Why won't you simply stop?" My knee drops to your chest to stop your struggles, and you wince. I take most of the weight away.

After all, I wouldn't want to be cruel to you, Ritsu.

"I'm terrified of you, Akito-sama," you pant between sobs.

"Why?"

"Because of what you can do to me! Because of what you can make me do to myself! Because you always," you jerk, trying to break free, "lose control!"

I stare down at you, not comprehending.

"Too much power and nothing to stem it with, no idea how to manage it. You've made mistakes but refuse to see them, blame them on others, you are a monster!" you slam your head against the ground and stare at the ceiling, utter horror written across your face. "Oh no."

I mechanically stand up and walk away, but only make it a few steps. My head hurts.

"Akito-sama, I'm sorry," you say into the abyss that has become my mind. No one's in at the moment, my timid monkey. Try again later.

"I love you, Ritsu." I turn around, aware that I have a maniacal grin plastered across my face. You have stood up, I see. "Get out."

You are already sprinting as you pass the open door.