Again, Once More
SPOILER ALERT!
I will warn you all, right now, I don't live in Canada. I'm stuck in the US, with The-N. Although, I have recently viewed the new episodes, I haven't see all of the new episodes. My computer is a piece of junk…
I apologize in advance if my writing isn't accurate. I've read spoilers and episode summaries. I'm writing this to get the episodes out of my head (knowing The-N, I won't see them until summer... ). Yeah, I'm still writing this to get the episodes out of my head… So, I have an obsession! What is to you!
Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or CTV. I'm just a poor fan(atic).
Chapter 4) Prologue to an Answer
The rest of the day had, for lack of a better word, sucked. Emma forced herself to walk the entire half-mile from the school to her home. Every so often, her lethargic mind would be crippled with an unrelenting onslaught of impending doom. She couldn't think clearly, breathing, alone, was becoming a difficult task. I was a reenactment of that fateful afternoon…
Emma's thoughts shifted painfully, painting a picture of a past, her past.
"I wish I was ten."
"Mommy, I was so scared."
"But, I mean, I liked being a kid."
All memories, all complicated situations, but even then, she had been naïve. If only things could go back to the way they used to be… thought Emma wearily as she let herself into her house. This could turn into a long afternoon…
"Mom, I'm home!" Emma called to her mother, across the length of the house.
"Emma, could you come here?" Spike's voice conveyed a great concern. Emma could feel her throat constrict more.
"Um, yeah, hold on," Emma replied. First, she had to regain a semblance of control. She had to. Into her backpack, her hand dug deep into a small side pocket. Without hesitation, Emma whipped out her infamous notebook. Her new food diary looked like an ordinary notebook. Easily accessible, but not easily detectable. Emma stared at a very recent entry. She had fasted that day. Water and green tea had been the only things she had written.
Emma quickly returned the notebook to its original spot and headed to the kitchen, mind focused. Her mother was making a simple casserole from various leftovers. Emma cringed inwardly. Noodles had at least 200 calories per serving!
"Yes, Mom?" Her voice didn't tell of her fear, did it? No? Good. Emma gave a slight start; that voice from yesterday was back. What she didn't realize, was that the voice could and would be with her for a long time. Emma managed to jolt herself out of her funk long enough to hear Christine's final sentence.
"…Have you been jogging recently?"
Lie, lie and deny. Use the beauty of half truths and whole lies. Emma felt little remorse for he next response. This voice, the voice knew what was best, she realized. It had been helping her subconsciously since July. Focus.
"What? Not recently, why?" Emma squashed the other voice in her head that told her this was wrong.
"Archie told me of your absence this morning and the neighbors say they have seen you I the early hours of the morning…" She wanted to groan. Loudly. This was turning out to be more difficult than she had earlier thought. Hiding her eating disorder was going to be difficult, but it was worth it.
"I trust you, Em, but I'm going to warn you now, I will be checking your room in the mornings." Emma smiled outwardly, while her insides screamed of the unfairness of the situation.
"Okay, Mom."
Dinner had once more passed in its normal manner. Emma had eaten about a fifth of her serving without detection. While she was grateful for that, Emma wished she could escape from the "family bonding hour". Anything to get rid of the lump of food that resided in her stomach. With a pitiful moan, Emma placed her checkers piece at the top of the board.
"King me," she stated in a slightly detached, unconcerned voice.
Archie and Christine shot one another a look. Spike stared deeply into Snake's eyes, as if trying to find the meaning of life. Archie's brow was knotted in deep thought. Something was definitely wrong with Emma. But neither could fathom the answer. Surely, thought Spike with great anxiety, Emma couldn't still be suffering?
It broke her heart, the very thought. Emma was her first born; it hurt her to see her daughter in this kind of pain. While eating disorders were not wide spread during her teen years, Christine understood the gist of them. Kathleen Mead, a very intelligent girl, had suffered from anorexia.
Kathleen also had an alcoholic mother and a workaholic father. She had to stop this train of thought. Emma's need for "control", via anorexia, scared her; it was tearing her up.
"Spike?" Manny interrupted Christine's thought process. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, just thinking." Said Spike as her mind cleared. She first noticed Emma still staring apathetically at the game board, while Manny kept looking back in forth between mother and daughter. Her expression becoming more and more worried with each glance.
"So, began Archie in a desperate attempt to break the silence, "Anybody want some popcorn." Christine felt like she could laugh at her husband's naivety.
"I'll help." And so the married couple headed to the kitchen to make the popcorn.
"Snake!" Christine exclaimed loudly in frustration. Archie's fake grin instantly melted away to reveal a troubled expression of his own.
"I couldn't think of anything else; I'm sorry!" This time Spike did laugh. Hysterically. Quickly, though her laughter subsided into muffled sobs. She sobbed almost silently as Archie wrapped a protective arm around her petite form.
"Hey, it's okay…" This merely caused a new onslaught of tears. They both knew that it wasn't okay. Even four years ago, when she had watched her daughter cry over a pointless soap opera, Spike had felt as if her heart had been trampled upon. Of course, she had felt a little silly after learning the true cause of Emma's emotional upset…
"Snake…" She whimpered slightly. Archie sighed worriedly. He pulled his wife closer hugging her.
"Spike, do you remember our grade 9 science fair? " She stared at her husband in dismay. Why would he bring up something so irrelevant at a time like this?
"Archie…" she began with earnest, but she was quickly cut off.
"Spike, Christine, do you remember Heather and Erica's project? On eating disorders?"
Her eyes widened in remembrance, "Yes, Snake, I do." Snake continued with great fervor.
"Maybe we should research this; see what we can do to help her…" Spike's eyes lit up as she smiled softly.
"That." She kissed a slightly shocked Archie on the lips. He smiled tenderly.
"That is a great idea…" The two smiled once more before heading back to the now deserted living room. Tomorrow, they decided, they would research this. They would try to help their daughter. Hopefully this time Emma would beat Anorexia, once and for all.
So, that's the end of chapter 4. I did it! 'Tis quite amazing!
Heather and Erica were 2 characters on Degrassi Junior High and High. The did make a project on eating disorders. They were also twins.
Kathleen Mead was also a character on Degrassi High and Junior High; She did suffer from anorexia and bulimia. Her mother was an alcoholic. Yeah…I have the episode that deals with on tape… Good ole fashion VHS !