Author's notes: I'm not dead... I just forgot to update for a long fricking time SORRY!

The phone was ringing and it was 6:30 in the morning.

I was about to throw a pillow at it in hope of killing the vile ringing emitting from it but as I had my weapon raised it the answering machine picked up. When the annoyed caller started to leave his message I was glad I hadn't picked up.

"I know you're home Kagome, answer your damn phone"

It was Inu Yasha.

"Inu... baby maybe she's just not up yet. She had a rough night. Maybe I can steal your attentions until she's ready to answer her phone"

That was Kikyo.

"It's 6:30 in the damn morning, it's not the time for /that/"

"Oh Inu... come on it's not like you have work or anything"

"Yes I do"

"Oh but who cares Inu? It's only work... aren't I more important than work?"

Then answering machine beeped and I wondered if they'd ever realise that the phone was still off the hook? Probably not. They'd waltz off to the bedroom and well you can probably guess the rest. These two were perfect for each other. I hated to admit it but really they were: both liked to breed like rabbits or mice or something else that had lots of babies, and both of them liked... well they both liked sex and frankly that seemed to be enough.

Inu Yasha called again... forty minutes later as I was getting ready to head out the door. I stopped for a moment and felt a sharp pang in my heart as I decided not to answer it. It was better this way. I haven't talked to Inu Yasha properly since he left me for the last time: to be with Kikyo, his prostitute. I wondered for a moment whether she was still selling herself on the corner or not. Inu Yasha probably went and picked her up off the corners every night. Knowing him he probably thought of it as exciting and something to keep the relationship interesting.

"Damnit Kagome why won't you answer? It's been a long time... if you were anywhere near as mature as you'd like to think you are you'd have picked up one of these damn calls"

He paused, it was like he was challenging me to pick up my phone. Well I wasn't about to fall for that/I/ was far too grown up to give in to his tricks.

After a minute I did.

"Inu Yasha why the hell are you calling me?"

"I just wanted to say I was sorry for last night. I guess I really upset you"

"Well there's nothing quite like being mistaken for a whore Inu Yasha"

"Hey... that "whore" is my girlfriend whether you like it or not Kagome"

"Being your girlfriend doesn't make her any less of a whore Inu Yasha. Exactly how many boyfriends does she have and honestly if you want to be with a woman who you used to and probably still pick up off the corner... well that's no concern of mine"

I set it back on it's cradle. Before he could call back I was through the door and thanking god that he didn't have my cell number. Why did he have to call? He knew he shouldn't have. It always hurt to hear his voice on the other end. He knew that

I wasn't ready for work that day, the only thing I was ready for was bed but I looked professional and that as always was all that mattered. I had Inu Yasha on my mind, memories of a time when he had cared not only for me but for something more than drinking his life away and fucking his model girlfriend.

After work that evening Sango decided that we should go out dancing at the hottest new club in the city. I agreed only to keep myself occupied and not spending my time home watching reruns. God I was getting pathetic. Anyway I dressed myself up in a short black shirt and a 'woah' pink tank top. Looking back now I wish that night had never happened you'll understand that later though.

The club was just as Sango had described: hot, cramped and vibrant. The walls were black but splotched with neon paint in pink, green, blue, yellow, orange, and red. The dance floor was packed and so was the bar. The line out front stretched around the block by the time we got in. Indeed there was no questioning whether this was one of the most popular clubs in town. Before hitting the dance floor with out probably out of date and overused dance moves we sauntered over to the bar to grab a couple of apple-tinis. I didn't know about Sango but before the first dance I needed a drink to loosen me up and help chuck self-consciousness out the window.

Sitting at the bar was a man I had not seen since my interview... Kouga.

"Fancy meeting you here Kagome"

He remembered my name. I was relieved at remembering his so as not to be embarrassed.

"I could say the same for you... Kouga"

I looked him over once and wondered why I hadn't noticed how good looking he was at the interview. He had a playful smile and straight, white teeth. His skin was tanned and he had longish black hair... gelled to mimic messiness. he was well muscled, chiseled to perfection. I knew I should have gotten his phone number earlier.

"Kagome, would you care to dance?"

"I'd love to" I said and was whisked away onto the dance floor.

One dance turned into two which in turn became three and a drink etc. until I'd danced the night away with one man and had a bit more than my fair share to drink. Kouga on the other hand had only gotten a single drink and offered to take me and Sango home. He dropped my friend off first and I waved at her from the front seat. By then I'd begun to feel sick to my stomach and urged Kouga to take me home faster.

The rest of the night is a blur. I woke up, still in my clothes where I'd passed out on the couch. Looking around I saw a figure sprawled out on the Lazy boy I'd bought with my first paycheck. Kouga.

He got up a couple hours later once my stomach had purged itself of the alcohol and the Asprin I'd taken had begun to kick in. I was at the stove making myself some bacon and there was toast in the toaster. He came up behind me and wrapped his arms about my waist, kissing my cheek and resting his head on my shoulder.

"How are you feeling love?" he whispered into my ear.

Love?

"Excuse me?"

"I asked how you were feeling"

"I know but 'love'?"

"You didn't mind last night"

The phone began to ring and I feared it had something to do with the 10 unread messages on my phone. I didn't want Kouga to know about Inu Yasha. I wasn't sure why but I really didn't want him figuring out that my heart still partially belonged so someone else.

"Going to answer your phone Kagome or do you not take any calls?" He said, voice silky smooth as always.

I smiled and picked it up. "Hello?"

"Gawd Kagome why didn't you answer? Don't you ever fucking answer your phone?"

"Only when I know it's not you calling"

"Now that isn't very nice is it Kags?"

"I would appreciate it if you didn't call me anymore Inu Yasha. We both know you made your choice a long time ago, there's no need to make it harder for either of us. We're not friends anymore and bitter exes usually just stop talking altogether. Can't we be like that?"

I must have hit home on that one because he made a sort of whimpering noise and hung the phone up. I wouldn't hear from him for a month but that's a different story.

I spent my day with Kouga. We got along well from the very beginning. He was very intelligent, much unlike Inu Yasha although when I was with him I felt so young almost childish and I did not like that. He had many redeeming qualities: his good looks, the ease we had slipping into conversation, his devilish good looks, and he was ever so sweet. He had this funny way of making me feel like kissing him, all the time. His lips were convincing enough that he didn't even need to say anything to make me want them against mine.

Our first kiss was in the park during the picnic lunch we'd had at 3pm. It was not quite what I expected although don't get me wrong it was indeed very nice. It was not like kissing Inu Yasha the first time had been and I realised at that moment: Kouga was not meant for me not now and not ever. Despite the sparkling conversation we shared and his good dancing there was no flame ignited within me: not even a spark.

That fact did not stop me going to the club with him that evening and dancing the night away, grinding to the beat of the music and daquiri's. I didn't over drink partially because I knew what would happen if I did. Part of me also knew that it might happen anyways. Kouga had already spent one night at my house.

Around 1 am Kouga took me home. After about 5 minutes of feverish kisses planted not only on my lips my trembling fingers found the key hole in the door with the key and I let us in. It goes without saying that we made love that night or perhaps sex is a better word for what we did. There was no love; no fire in my belly, it was just two humans in need of each others touch. It had been so long since I'd been held, caressed like that and I could tell it had been some time for him as well. He impressed me and not only by bringing me such pleasures as I had not felt since Inu Yasha's time in my life but by being there in the morning when I woke up. I supposed he considered us an item now.

I was right.

The first time Kouga said he loved me was about two weeks into our relationship. Personally I'd thought boys didn't do that anymore: started saying "I love you" before it was really really true. I though that stuff was just for 15 year olds who thought they knew what love was. It was a Saturday evening. We were out at a fancy Italian restaurant for dinner and were going dutch on the bill. I don't know what sparked it, our conversation had previously been on work. He worked in an office doing odd computer work that honestly meant nothing to the company. Anyway he just blurted out, "Kagome... I love you". I knew what I was supposed to say so I said it "I love you too Kouga" The point of adding on that "too" at the end means that you're saying it because the other said it and you don't necessarily mean it. It's only polite.

And I didn't mean it.

He was just really good in bed. And I mean that.

Of coarse my fake "I love you too didn't stand up for long. We started having those stupid talks about our future and all of that shit when it was obvious we didn't have a future. I admit he tried and perhaps it was that which set me off. He tried much too hard. From those lovey dovey talks to the massive amount of presents he just loved me too damn much for either of our own good. Kouga had strange notions about what love was really about but I think in his heart he must have known that whatever love was: this most certainly was not it.

Three weeks and ten late night Inu Yasha phone calls later I decided to end the charade between Kouga and I. It wasn't fair of me to keep him attached to me when I had no intentions of being attached to him. It was bad enough I'd kept him on for that extra three weeks.

So I went back to living my day to day life: working and sleeping. I hoped Kouga would do the same but he didn't. He drunk dialed me several times begging to have me back and asking for the reason on why we could no longer be together, a reason that never changed: "I just don't feel the same way you do Kouga. I'm sorry". That answer was insufficiant for him and he pleaded I go into further detail. I never did. He would ask me what he'd done wrong and how if I would only tell him he'd change... he'd change and be the man I wanted him to be. He even went into some freaky shit about how he was really a demon and if I didn't come back he would steal me back and take me to live with him and his pack. I passed it off as the booze talking. He called me sometimes when he was sober too. It was the same shit he said while drunk just minus the slurring and most of the pleading. What a loser eh? Still I felt kind of bad. It was after all my fault he was acting like this.

Although I despised Kouga's constant calls, pestering and the two love letters he sent me it made me feel desirable. It is that to which I credit my next lucky break to.